How to Change Stubborn Thinking

"Once my son has an idea in his head, he won't budge. For example, somewhere he heard that looking into the sun will blind you (which is true). But he has taken this to a whole new level by refusing to go anywhere without his sunglasses. If he doesn't have them before we walk out the door -- it's meltdown city! I've told him countless times that as long as he isn't staring directly into the sun, he's not going to lose his eyesight. This discussion goes in one ear and out the other, and this is just one of dozens of examples. My question is: how do you change the mindset of a stubborn child who refuses to listen to reason?"

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15 comments:

  1. I bought 6 pairs of sunglasses and now there are no more meltdowns :)

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  2. mine is the same way-totally ocd, dog without a bone, over certain things. it has been death, teen pregnancy, ipods, homeless animals, you name it. drives me crazy. i hope she can channel that energy into something useful and positive one day but we haven't found what that is yet.

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  3. That's typical aspie OCD....with my son it is germs...hand washing sanitizer...wipes...
    about an hour ago via mobile · Like

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  4. I'm new to this since my daughter was just diagnosed. Am I correct that medication doesn't help with these fixations? They are going to just drive me nuts.

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  5. You will get used to it...my sons psychologist helps him alot

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  6. Take him to a reliable source apart of you and have them tell him. So for this....go see your local planetarium.....meteorologist, science museum, etc

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    Replies
    1. Great advice. Helped me by reading this.thanks.

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  7. short answer - you don't. It's part of their makeup, and you need to learn to work around it. As my grandma said, pick your battles. Is it really that big of a deal that he wants his sunglasses every time you go out? NO it isn't. There are bigger fish to fry, so make sure he always has sunglasses! He will outgrow that, btw. Mine did.

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  8. YES Peggy and Karen - Call me crazy, but I enjoy most of my sons Obsessions du Jour. For us (unless it's vacuum related) they are all temporary. Rolling with it is fun and happy for everyone. In our house, if it were sunglasses that week, a couple weeks/months later, he would forget. I would calmly wait until the outing was over and shout something like GOOD NEWS...we forgot our glasses and we can still see - It's a MIRACLE!!!! It's all about sucking every ounce of fun that we can handle!

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  9. For my daughter it is bees...She won't go outside in the summer here (we live in the forest). We are moving to the dessert - i guess that's working with it? Do you think a psychologist would help? Perhaps she will outgrown this too.

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  10. I think my child is more OCD stuff that bugs me. Like we are not smiling the right way or we are not eating our food the right way. And you have to keep repeating it the right way until it is the right way to her.
    11 hours ago via mobile · Like

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  11. This too shall pass, gotta pick our battles, my 9 year old wore his jacket with a hood to school every day for months despite the 90 degree temp's here WITH THE HOOD UP covering most of his face. What a site he was But this has passed, NOW he's into wearing the same camoflauge LONG sleeve shirt his uncle gave him as a gift when he was over in Afghanistan .AND now it's even hotter out (100's)....this too shall pass. It gives him confidence so we roll with it.... good luck.

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  12. So funny, not haha, but that my son was just diagnosed less than a month ago. He is 10. But he was totally stuck on the hoodie for weeks... with the hood up while in school...OMG. It of course...all makes sense now. Glad he is not the only one. :-)

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  13. My son is obsessive about his sun glasses. He has many many pairs but will only wear one pair. Thankfully that pair has a strap. We live near buffalo - not much sun through the winter. He wears them no matter what the weather report is. He is terrified of spiders and will not go anywhere he saw a spider web even if we get rid of it. Routines that have been established are not changeable without lots of warning. We are constantly discussing what is coming up and how it will be different when it is out of our normal routine. *I* have become obsessive about the warning discussions because it makes life so much simpler.

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  14. My son is a diabetic aspie. I always use the phrase "because this is the rules" when pertaining to his care. Well, as he got older the rules would change and it would be a melt down. I can remember having to take his paper work to school, even though the nurse had a copy to explain that the doctor changed the rules. I did deep breathing exercises with him to get him calm and then spend the next few weeks talking it over. It got more difficult when the doctor wanted him to do his own testing and then later his own shots. For that I talked it over with him, no pressure but let him know its time and its expected and when he was ready to let me know. I had to keep the conversation going though. Then when he was ready, it always seemed to come out of the blue. I believe him having Asperger helped him keep a tight control over his diabetes, he was such a rule follower. Math was/is his thing so that helped with his self care and it was extremely easy to get him into food labels and good healthy eating. He is an adult now and still needs help coping with changes in his care, it still takes months for him to get used to change but now he knows this is his challenge and instead of me bringing up the conversation of change, he brings it up and talks to me about his anxiety. He readily uses the breathing techniques and teaches it to others when they are upset.

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