Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

 

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

How to Avoid "Negative Reinforcement": Tips for Parents of Children with ASD

Negative reinforcement requires the child to work for the removal of an in-place, unpleasant consequence. The child's goal is to get rid of something that is unpleasant rather than to earn something that is desirable. In a negative reinforcement model, instead of working to earn a positive consequence, the child works to distance himself from an aversive consequence.

Negative reinforcement is often used by parents to manage problem behaviors in their child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS). Teachers inadvertently pay attention to the child who may not be complying and withdraw their attention contingent on the child's compliance. Surprisingly, this strengthens rather than weakens the noncompliant behavior.

The next time a similar situation occurs, the child again will not comply until confronted with the aversive consequence (i.e. the parent’s attention). Negative reinforcement is often seductive and coercive for moms and dads. It works in the short run, but in the long run, is likely to strengthen rather than weaken the undesirable behavior.

 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Behaviors that in-and-of themselves may not be negative become negative reinforcers when paired with certain events. For example, the parent approaching her child who is not doing his homework becomes a negative reinforcer, even though the action itself (i.e., the parent walking up to the child) does not have a negative connotation.

Researchers found that negative reinforcement was rated by parents as the most frequently used behavior intervention. Kids with HFA often experience negative reinforcement because of their temperament, which makes it difficult for them to complete tasks – their consequent learning history reinforces them for beginning, but rarely for finishing.

A number of simple, effective ways exist to deal with this problem. If you, the parent, are using negative reinforcement, pay attention to your child until the homework or chore is completed. Although this too is negative reinforcement, it teaches the child that the only way to get rid of the aversive consequence (i.e., your attention) is not just to start – but to complete the task at hand. As an example, when homework is to be completed, you may move your child's study area to the room you will be in until that particular piece of work is completed.

A second alternative involves the use of differential attention or ignoring. The term differential attention applies when “ignoring” is used as the negative consequence for exhibiting the undesirable behavior and “attention” is used as a positive consequence for exhibiting the competing desirable behavior. This is an active process in which the parent ignores the child engaged in an ‘off-task’ activity, but pays attention immediately when he or she begins working.

Many parents avoid interaction with their youngster when she is ‘on-task’ for fear of interrupting her train of thought. It is important, however, to reinforce the child when working so that a pattern of working to earn positive reinforcement rather than working to avoid negative reinforcement is developed.

Moms and dads need to make a distinction between ‘off-task’ behavior that ‘disrupts’ and ‘off-task’ behavior that ‘does not disrupt’. Differential attention works effectively for the latter. However, when the child is ‘off-task’ and disturbing his sibling, you may find that being a negative reinforcer holds an advantage in stemming the tide of an ‘off-task’ behavior that involves other children as well.

Differential attention alone has been demonstrated to be ineffective in maintaining high rates of ‘on-task’ behavior and work productivity for kids with HFA and AS. Many factors other than parent-attention maintain and influence child behavior.

 

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Differential attention is a powerful intervention when used appropriately. Once the strategy of ignoring inappropriate behavior is employed, it must be continued despite escalation. If not, the parent runs the risk of intermittently reinforcing the negative behavior, thereby strengthening its occurrence.

For example, if you decide to use differential attention for your child's out-of-seat behavior while at the dinner table, but become sufficiently frustrated after he is out of his seat for 10 minutes and respond by directing attention to him, the behavior will be reinforced rather than extinguished. The 10 minutes of ignoring will quickly be lost in the one incident of negative attention. If the parent shouts, "You need to sit down!" …the child has received the desired attention by persisting in a negative behavior.

Researchers have evaluated rules, praise, and ignoring for inappropriate behavior in kids on the autism spectrum. Inappropriate behavior decreases only after praise is added. These “special needs” kids perform as well as “typical” kids with a continuous schedule of reinforcement, but perform significantly worse with a partial schedule of reinforcement (e.g. reinforcement is provided only sometimes), which is typically found in most homes.

Praise is important for the development of other attributes (e.g., self-esteem, general attitude, motivation toward academics, etc.). In addition, the opposite is also true: A large amount of punishment can negatively affect emotional development and self-esteem.

More resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism