“My daughter with autism (mild form) is doing pretty well at college managing her courses and her part-time job. However, she is not managing her finances well. For a while she only had to pay for her car payment and insurance. Now, she has also accumulated some credit cards and short-term loans. While she lives away at school, her mail and bills come here, so I’ve been checking her mail. She has not been paying her bills on time, so I’ve had to make some payments for her. She knows that I am holding her accountable to reimburse me. How can I help her develop an organized budget system, while at the same time not offending her and turning her away from us?”
“Any advice for helping my child (high functioning) to manage frustration over seemingly small things? Even something as minor as losing a game of checkers turns into a major riot, which in turn aggravates me to no end.”
“Is it common for children on the autism spectrum to be depressed?
Lately, my teenage daughter has been quite sad much of the time for no
apparent reason that any of us can identify. She does tend to be a
'loner' - but she says she prefers it that way.”
"How do I help my 12 year old son to come to terms with his diagnosis and help him understand that it is not the end of the world?"
ASD Level 1 (High-Functioning Autism) is a "spectrum" disorder; those who have it experience various symptoms, exhibiting a range of behaviors. People with the disorder have a different way of thinking, concentrating on special interests. Many can speak eloquently and have extraordinary abilities in engineering, computer science, and systematic thinking, yet have serious difficulties with social interaction and functioning in the world.
However, the disorder is not the end of world; it is treatable. It is very normal for your son (and you) to react with sadness, self pity, anger, or depression when you receive the diagnosis. You are mourning the life you thought you were going to have. But that does not mean that you won’t have a good life; it will just be different.
If your son is willing, discuss with him his diagnosis and your plans to help him. Reassure him that he will do fine. If he can't get over his sadness and anger, get him into counseling. Once properly diagnosed, reassured, and treated, he will feel much happier and more optimistic.
Start now to educate yourself and your son. There are tons of books available for adults, children, and teens that explain High-Functioning Autism and provide information and help. Read a book and discuss it together. Then, get online and start researching symptoms and treatments. There is a wealth of information on this site!
Become involved in the forum on this site. Also find a support group in your area. Other parents will provide moral support and comfort. Your son may enjoy talking with other children with the disorder online. Be sure to monitor the sites he visits to make sure they are appropriate for him.
I want your son to know that having this disorder is not the end of the world. It creates difficulties in the social sphere, yes. But special interests can lead to career skills, and, in some cases, to career success.
Good social skills can be learned over time. With reinforcement and guidance from loving people; progress is possible. With knowledge and support from parents, teachers, mentors, medical professionals, and peers, the inner strengths of these special people shine, adding uniqueness to our world.
Have your son watch this video:
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
COMMENTS: Anonymous said... help him to see himself for his abilities and not his dis-ability! He is himself and not his dx. His dx is just a tool that he can use on his road to success : )
Anonymous said... The diagnosis was the best thing that's ever happened in our family! It flooded us with so much understanding and the ability to identify and work on those areas which are troublesome. It opened up so many doors to a world of resources; books, support groups, online connections - so that we don't feel a bit alone. Help is just a keystroke or a mouse click away. I slapped an "I LOVE AN ASPIE" bumper sticker on my car and we embrace the dx with humor and hope. I know my own son felt a lot better once we met some others his own age who shared his diagnosis, and maybe that would help your boy? If he would like my son to contact him, message me and I'll put you in touch:) Enjoy the journey, you're on the right track, Mom!:)
My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do." Click here to read the full article…
Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring. Click here to read the full article...
Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
