"My son, who is nearly 5 and has Asperger's, has started to get uncontrollable meltdowns. He is as nice as pie one minute, and then for what seems like no reason at all, he kicks off, hitting, jumping, throwing things, and laughing almost hysterically. Nothing calms him down when he is like this. Please let me know what can be done to stop this behavior." Parents with children who have Aspergers Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism will often tell you about times their child has had a “meltdown” or type of temper tantrum that can disrupt the lives of the whole family.
These types of behaviors can be as rare as once a month or can happen several times per day, leaving parents sometimes frustrated and exhausted. There are, however, things a parent can do to minimize the strength and length of these tantrums.
The first thing to pay attention to is your own response to the tantrum. Are you calm and quiet? Have you taken steps to assure safety? Are you thinking clearly? Take slow, even breaths and reassure yourself that you’ve survived these meltdowns before, and it doesn’t have to be the dreadful experience you anticipate it to be.
Speak with a soft, neutral and pleasant voice. This relaxes both you and your child. Stay away from unnecessary words, and keep your movements slow and purposeful.
Many meltdowns happen as a result of rushing around or trying to get somewhere. It’s vital to take the time to slow down and rearrange your priorities. Forget that you have a timetable and concentrate on helping your child settle down first.
Keep safety a priority. Children in this stage can be impulsive and can forget every safety rule they were ever taught. If the child is having a meltdown while you’re driving, stop the car and take care of the issue. If your child tends to run away from you, resist the urge to chase them as it can make the situation worse.
Hold your child if necessary or talk with him in an attempt to redirect his behavior. In other situations, let the meltdown run itself down. Bear in mind that the child will often be exhausted after a meltdown so that you may need to give him the time to rest and get his breath back after such an event.
Remember that these types of behaviors represent ways you child is trying to communicate with you. Think about what the behavior represents and make attempts to avoid the behavior the next time.
16 comments:
I know that feeling! Looking forward to the tips because I have NO idea!
There usually isn't any stopping it once it gets to that level. You have to try and head it off before it starts. They can't be calmed and told to stop. I've found help by talking to my sons after the meltdown. I tell them they can't act like.that, that it isn't good for them or anyone else. I let them know I know things are hard for them but they still have to find another way to cope. And I give them choices. I've made a sensory area that is just for them. We call it the cool down club house. It is a pop up tent with sensory things inside. Fidgetes, coloring things, other small toys they enjoy. when they feel one coming on they are to take themselves away from the situation and go to their club. If they allow themselves to get like that then there is consequences, and I let them know what they are prior. It puts them in charge of their meltdowns and let's them know its not proper. On top of that it gives them rules and Aspergers like rules. It has helped us anyway.
The less we diviate from plans or structure the better. I have learned not to say when and where we r going unless it is a 100% chance it is happening that way. I do not ...or try hard not to interupt his daily schedule, plan everything....daily routeins helps. My aspie does not like change.not sure any of them do. Hope this help.
My son when he was little use to do something similar but not with the laughing and use to self injure during these times. My saving grace was some one taught me how to give him a love hug, a form of restraint but in a hug. I would do that and not speak or give any emotional response and we would sit there until I knew he was done and calmed down to release him. I have to say they started to lesson over time. I know this is a time where the journey feels it will never end but I am 18 yrs in and I can say it does get a bit easier as time goes on.
*****taurine. It will calm your child down within 10 minutes!! My son is 50 pds and he gets 335 mg every morning. It stops meltdowns!! Use the powder form by Source Naturals from Vitacost!!!!
This may not work for everyone, but for my son, changing his diet has reduced has tantrums by about 95%. Even though all of his allergy tests came back negative, we've found that corn causes a delayed reaction that leads to horrible tantrums. It might be worth it to try an elimination diet (along with behavioral strategies) to see if it would help.
time to look at biomedical treatment. diet triggers, select supplements. contact me when you are ready.
i have a child with aspergers, after a few years of treating his disorder, he is now the best behaved boy on the block. I can help you turn the meltdowns into sweet smiles and I love yous!
I found with my son it was good to let him know in advance if there was going to be a change in routine ..... Talk to him about it, his ideas and feelings so that he was prepared..... If it was going to be hard we used to talk about what to bring with us to make it more comfortable or like home eg if we went on holidays or school camps etc he would bring his special book, or toy or pillow or blue tac ( he used to mould n play with this while watching tv....... It helped to prevent melt downs ..... He has had melt downs n I found putting him in a quiet place alone till he calmed down , the best way was with the least amount of sensory distractions possible and then after he calmed we would talk about the situation , what triggered it and try to find a solution.... I would also learn from this as sometimes I didn't release what I might have done to bring it on....... He is 16 now and living with his father,.... Now his father is learning all about it but at least my son knows what the triggers are and he warns his dad and tells him " dad I need quiet time or dad I hate busy arcades don't take me there' his farther didn't listen one time and my son had a melt down , NOW he listens.... It's a learning experience for us all....... This works for us
For years I wondered what was wrong with my son. Now having this as a diagnosis helps us to understand a little better why and we have learned to stay calm with him and talk him through it. He is eight.
Always try to abort a meltdown.Meaning as a parent you have to stay one step ahead.We are trying at 11 yrs to get our Aspie to recognize her stress level.I truthfully feel at the edge of a meltdown they have no control.Possibly can't hear either.We try to keep schedules.It gets worse at puberty.
Show no fear, use firm reassuring touch if he reacts with firmness. My son was like this only without the laughing and I took him to a biomedical doctor, he is on a variety of homeopathic medicines but the one that was noticably calming for him was the evening primrose. I would highly recommend getting him looked at by either a gp/naturapath (a doctor who looks at the biomedical chemistry) I am a big believer in treating the causes rather than the symptoms myself and I have never looked back since doing this for my son. Your son could be what is called a Pyrole child (just a fancy name with a group of chemical imbalances in the body) and could be high in one or several heavy metals which cause an interruption to the brain signals too. Be strong!
13 hours ago · Like
Patience and very clear consequences that he will expect to happen each time he hurts someone, which I assume he may be doing. Our son is 12, on medication and still does these things fairly often. It's part of Asperger's, it's our job to make sure he knows what to expect. After all, they usually act this way the most when they are unsure of what's expected of them at that time.
Went through much less tantrums when we started our daughter on Nurtured Heart Approach. Didn't start her until around 6, but she was through with the all out tantrums, biting, kicking and such within a few weeks. Highly recommended! Other then that love worked wonders!!
For a few years I tried the very clear consequences trick, I found it did nothing for my son, he use to stab me with knives if any were left out, hit me with branches if he had any and I found by showing him no fear and walking confidently up to him to remove the item (knives were different) he didn't use it. I had to go through a whole trial and error system before finding out triggers, calming ways, I use to diaries each event what happened before and after which was alot of work and not easy to keep up with but for me was well worth it in the end. I documents foods he ate which caused some of the behavioural changes for example, strawberry topping would set my son off within 10 minutes of eating it, his mood changed and his behaviour. Sometimes it was the environment like shopping, he use to run wild throwing things off the shelves and I found out it was due to the over stimulation of the environment for example, the lights, all the busyness with all the labels on the shelves and noise. After ruling out everything I could think of after some years of trial and error and documenting, I took him to get the biochemisty checked, mind you getting a blood test was a challenge but we got around that by offereing his favourite food or activity after. We found that a lack of zinc, iron and high copper were a factor with him too so now he has been put on a few different natural medications like, olive leaf extract, evening primrose oil, melatonin for sleeping, and a pyrole primer he has been amazingly less violent, learns alot more at school, and copes slightly better with sensory stimulation. I did have a physchologist tell me that Apergers children were non violent but she obviously was not well informed about this as Aspergers children can be quiet and mild or violent and uncontrollable, the later is less common though. I wish you luck as it is no easy feat but what is life without a challenge? If you do not invest in your child with time and effort no one else will, it is worth persistance and perserverance in the end. Children change all the time so the learning of them never ends .. good luck.
I actually have never heard of the Nurtured Heart Approach, I have been researching in Magic 123 a disciplinary system used for all children in general including special needs children but will look into this other approach for research.
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