"Is it common for children with Asperger's Syndrome to be rather explosive? My daughter can fly off the handle in a heartbeat for what seems to be rather trivial matters (to me anyway)."Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism easily can have as much of a problem controlling their anger as other children. Because children and teens with Aspergers have difficulty understanding emotions and their impact on others, however, they often have more difficulty than other children reigning in their anger.
In addition, teens with Aspergers aren’t living in a void in which they don’t understand that they’re different from other kids. Often teased by their peers, they can have incipient anger they don’t understand and can’t easily control.
Helping these children and teens with anger control issues requires direct communication about the affect of their anger on others as well as methods of improving their low self-esteem and poor sense of self-worth, which is often at the root of the child’s anger.
Anger that’s acted-out badly needs to be treated like any other unwanted behavior. Some form of reasonable consequence directed at getting the point across that the behavior is wrong needs to be combined with a pragmatic discussion of the meaning behind the anger and other ways to control the anger. Remember that what punishes the Aspergers child can be much different from what punishes other children.
If the anger seems to be a part of your child’s frustration over how he/she is being treated by others or from depressive feelings, finding better avenues to discuss what is really going on can help him/her deal with the issues without using anger as an outlet. Most Aspergers children are of greater than average intelligence and have the resources to understand the relationship between their anger and the underlying social issues their dealing with.
In situations where the anger seems to be an overwhelming issue, families should not hesitate to speak with a family therapist or other psychotherapist for help.
5 comments:
i've learned anger management in a very unpredictable way. i learned kickboxing. i didnt know it, but kicking and punching bags while thinking about things that angered me and then stopping when the instructor told me to helped me control my rage attacks.
i often felt anger as a child without knowing why. it confused me and made me sad.
a rage attack makes a person with asperger syndrome lose control and that person might attack someone much bigger without worrying about the consequences, including legal ones.
i've attacked two men twice my size by trying to slam a heavy suitcase into one's head and the other between the legs. the first one ducked and the other stepped back. i drew my hand back in order to throw the suitcase forward - my motor skill are terrible - the men were frightened. they saw who they were dealing with and walked away.
in my defense i can say one of them put his hands on me indecently while the other laughed after the stumbled out of the alley, dead drunk.
but it wasnt self defense, either, because they walked away and i ran after them, went around them, blocked their way, and almost killed one. the heavy suitcase would've killed him.
i'm very strong and from what i've read on the internet and in forums many aspies are stronger than the average.
an aspie rage attack is caused by constant bullying, feeling of alienation, inability to put frustration into words and not knowing any other strategies.
a rage attack is scary to the person who gets it. it makes one feel like he/she is lost in a red fog, the top on one's head feels hot, the heart beats faster, one may not remember what he's done afterward. it makes you feel out of control. you feel yourself moving and have no control over your arms and legs.
i took sick feral cats to the vet and paid with money i barely have. i asked the neighbor's wife if they need any help after her husband has gone blind because of a genetic disease. i'm not a psychopath. i care about people. i never lose my self control with small children or animals and dont snap at the slightest provocation.
if not provoked, i dont have rage attacks.
one thing that can help, though, is to prepare for a case in which one is bullied, and work out strategies of dealing with it, like walking away, for instance.
i even wrote in my blog what it feels like to have a rage attack. i described rage attacks and what it's like for an aspie kid to grow up surrounded by aliens.
My son everyday fly's off the handle at me. It can be depressing at times. School only sees one side. I am thinking of video taping him so the school can see how he is at home.
my Asperger's son is also diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder but i'm told that can be due to the frustrations and extra stresses in connection with too much sensory stimuli as well as miscommunication/missing some non-verbal cues.
and yes, things seem trivial to you but to them it's a whole lot more of an issue because of all the above mentioned, it's triple the stress and triple the frustration :(
you can get some change in the at home behavior by giving him the chance to de-stress by allowing him time to himself as a routine, when he comes home he gets to de-stress with 1 30 minute episode of a cartoon he enjoys or 30 minutes of video game playing or reading or some other thing that he enjoys. at first it'll be change and difficult to get him to come back to homework or chores or other tasks, a timer may help, one that rings about 1 minute or two before time actually runs out so he learns that the ring means it's time to be done/pick up before time runs out. I'm at the point with my son where it's much easier now than it used to be but the time to himself without stress "refreshes" him and he's in a much better mood and better able to deal with other stressful demands.
My daughter does, it helps at therapy;)
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