Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders

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HFA Teens & Angry Outbursts

My son is 13 years old; he has been previously diagnosed with high functioning autism, adhd and obsessive compulsive disorder. My son lived with his father for six months while I recovered from a nervous breakdown. When I got custody of him again he was very aggressive, would hit his 6 year old brother and call him names and put him down. My ex gave him no discipline from what I gather from my son, he told me he had to raise his six year old brother for them six months. He blames me for the divorce between me and his father. I have bipolar and he doesn’t seem to understand that I am different too and that I need him to cooperate and help me as much as possible. He’s too focused on his ocd, his adhd and his autism and he uses all of these things for an excuse for all of the negative behaviors he is having. In the last past year he has changed 3 schools, and moved to a new area, which he says he hates. I’m wondering if he will adjust to the new setting and new rules that I have for him. I think some of it is the teenage years; he uses profanity often and shows aggression to get his way no matter what the consequences. I want to help my son but I don’t know what to do. His brother is totally opposite; he does what I tell him and goes by all of the rules. How do I get my son to show me respect and work on his attitude without so many angry outbursts which could get me evicted from our apartment? I go with the flow to keep things as quiet as possible but things get worse, if I threaten to take his games he threatens and has went as far as walking out of the door leaving me to find him. Am I dealing with Aspergers, Adhd, compulsive disorder or just an unruly teenager? I think it is all of them. I was wondering if there is an autism training center that could come in and work with my son. I am desperate at this point and will do anything to help my child to stay on the right track, I worry that he is headed for suicide or prison. I am very concerned for him, he’s happy as long as I cater to him, but when I stand up for what I think is right he rebels and I pay dearly. Please help.

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Anonymous said...

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seth said...

My husband recommended that I explore some Asperger websites. We have a 16 year old son who has not been diagnosed with Aspergers, but we have felt for years that it is the appropriate diagnoses. For the past few years in particular, and reading articles such as this confirm it to us. We have been seeking help since preschool with speech, tutors, psychological evaluations, etc. We were told by one Psychologist that he did not have Aspergers, but diagnosed him with Central Auditory/nonverbal learning disorder. Though he has always had "quirks", he used to be a well-adjusted, happy little boy. Something changed with puberty and outburts of anger and rage began, often over haircuts or cleaning his room. He began collecting things that smell in his bedroom, soap, candles, cologne...He has become more isolated, often sleeping an extreme amount. This had lead to our removing him from school over a year ago and begin homeschooling. His frustration with school work/social issues would lead to complete shut down every afternoon for often the entire evening, and he was beginning to sleep in class. One doctor had put him on an antidepressant which controlled his anger somewhat, but he now refuses to take it b/c he doesn't like the way it makes him feel. He recently went thru a short phase where he couldn't stop laughing and admitted that he needed to go back on meds, but soon after his precious cat died and we are back to extreme lows. My son has one friend who is very patient and understanding, thank God for him and an older brother who spends time working out with and even taking him to do volunteer work. He has a very hands on dad who engages him in all of his favorite activities like hunting, gardening. We don't know what to expect for our future. All of our attempts to get appropriate help for our son to live a happy/normal life have been failures. I fear his anger is going to lead to something terrible and society will view him differently than we do. I have often said that it would have been better for him to have Down's Syndrome, or some other syndrome where he just doesn't "look" so normal. Thankfully my son has an engaged and loving family, but this, more than anything has tested my marriage. We are united and supportive, just tired and fearful!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content