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Aspergers Children and Anger Control Problems


My 21 year old son is very fidgety, interrupts while I'm speaking with him and has basically lost all his friends over the years. He gets mad about things (like why we circumcised him when he was a baby) that normally would not bother anyone. If something goes wrong in his life (which seems to be a daily occurrence), it is someone's fault. He went from being a popular child to being a loner. I had him move in with his dad because he kept starting fights with his younger brother - obsessing that his younger brother was gay and that he would beat the crap out of him if he found that out. It just seems he is getting worse now. Years ago I had taken him for counseling and they said he was depressed and was very "sensitive" to what was going on. However, this sensitivity has gotten into the danger point where you never know what might set him off. Since he is 21 it is next to impossible to get him to see anyone (no insurance) but he has admitted to my mother that he needs help. He just explodes sometimes and then will apologize after the fact but the explosions are getting more and more. Is he emotionally unstable?


You are referring to anger-control problems and low-frustration tolerance – also called “meltdowns.” These meltdowns are especially common in Aspergers (high functioning autism) children and teens (or in your case, a young adult-child). Some families have learned how to prescribe behavior to prevent meltdowns:
  • Look directly at your child who is about to have a major meltdown.
  • Give your child permission to have a major meltdown. For example say, "Jon, I know you usually have a meltdown when this happens and I want you to know that it is ok for you to do that now."
  • Prescribe the behaviors that your child usually does in this situation when agitated. You'll continue talking after telling your child it is ok to have a meltdown and list what the child normally does. "Jon, when you are feeling this way, you usually start swearing, kicking, screaming, and blowing snot – so go ahead and get started."
  • Let your child think about what you said. If your child is truly oppositional, then he will refuse to do what you prescribed. If your child does it, that's ok, you gave permission. Eventually, doing this will help your child learn self-control.

Do you have an Aspergers child who doesn't do well with transitions? Does he have a meltdown at the slightest provocation or change in schedule? Does he kick, punch, destroy property, swear, and runaway when upset?

Click ==> Here’s help in dealing with Aspergers meltdowns...

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This was very odd. You say that your child was angry about being cut as a baby and you think normally people don't care?
Thousands of men around the world care. Thousands are angry. If your daughter's genitals were cut into, wouldn't she be angry too?
I'm not cut (my parents weren't suckered by the medical industry or religion) and let me tell you, if my parents cut me, I'd be ready to put them through the window if they denied my anger like you're doing.
I wonder whether he first started getting angry when he first found out what was done to him as a baby and you told him he had no reason to be angry? Same time? Right?
I also wonder where he got his homophobia from...

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...