HELP FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER'S & HIGH-FUNCTIONING AUTISM

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders

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Aspergers/High-Functioning Autistic Kids and Peer Rejection

“I need to help my autistic daughter (high functioning) deal with peers – and rejection of peers. I want to be able to help her fit in with her friends.”

All kids want friends. Friendships are what make children who they are developmentally, emotionally, and intellectually. It starts when children are just babies. Moms and dads sit mesmerized, waiting for their son or daughter to make eye contact, smile, and coo. It’s the beginning of real, social connection. From that moment, life is all about relationship.

Younger kids spend most of their time trying to make and keep friends. The early years of school continue to focus primarily on friendships, emphasizing socialization over academics. But, kids with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have genuine struggles making friends and keeping them. This sets the stage for most of the obvious problems related to autism spectrum disorders.

Your daughter should know that you are an available support for her when things happen that are beyond her control. Young people with AS and HFA need structured, step-by-step guidelines to help them in sticky situations. You can set up a plan for her to use when dealing with her peers.

Use your daughter’s specific friendships to draw out your guidelines. If she has a friend who is happy to play, but acts differently when others are around, she needs a plan of action on how to handle the situation. This can be typical behavior for boys and girls when they fall into social cliques. Help her make a list of “if-then” steps to follow. For example:
  • If my friend acts like she doesn’t know me, then I will tell her I don’t like how she is treating me.
  • If my friend calls me names in front of other kids, then I will play with someone else or tell an adult.
  • If my friend is happy to play, then we’ll play together on the swings.

Another example could be time on the playground. Lay out the guidelines of acceptable behavior on the playground. Give your daughter examples of problems that may arise, and write out a plan of action on how to deal with these problems. With practice, your daughter will be able to replay her plan in her mind and put it into action. For example:
  • If my peers try to skip my turn on the slide, I will calmly tell them it is my turn.
  • If a boy or girl bullies me on the playground, I will tell my teacher as soon as possible.
  • If my teacher doesn’t help me with a bully on the playground, I will tell another grown-up that I trust as soon as I can.

Rejection is tough for all children. There will be times when your daughter will be rejected. It may be that her spectrum disorder has little to do with the rejection. You can still have a plan for dealing with rejection. She should know what appropriate behavior is for a child who has been rejected. Reassure her that this is normal, and that all kids get rejected at some point.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
 

COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… AS AN ADULT IM STILL STRUGGLING WITH THE REJECTION FROM FRIENDS AND THE REJECTION MY SONS RECIEVE ITS HEART BREAKING ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR THEM WHEN IT HAPPENS. I FOUND STICKING TO OUR OWN KIND WORKS FIND THE SIMALARITIES AND STICK WITH THAT.
•    Anonymous said… My son with through the same thing in middle school. He looks normal, but when they found out he was in a special class they stopped hanging around with him- Maybe your women friends has kids you know that he can play with.
•    Anonymous said… My son is fifteen i give up trying and now he has made other aspie friends that understand him.
•    Anonymous said… Find a support group etc its amazing hoq many friends u find for u and ur child. All the best xoxo

*    Anonymous said... my 14 year old daughter is really struggling as we'll. as I am a Christian, I have been encouraging her to join the youth meetings at church.

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My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content