Parents of Aspergers kids are faced with many behavior problems such as aggression and violent behavior, anger, depression and many other inappropriate behaviors. However, parents can overcome these issues much easier with the correct techniques.
Part of the problem stems from a conflict between longings for social contact and an inability to be social in ways that attract friendships and relationships.
Focus on prevention and on helping Aspergers children develop communication skills and develop a healthy self-esteem. These things can create the ability to develop relationships and friendships, lessening the chances of having issues with anger.
Anger can also come in Aspergers sufferers when rituals can't get accomplished or when their need for order or symmetry can't be met. Frustration over what doesn't usually bother others can lead to anger and sometimes, violent outbursts.
This kind of anger is best handled through cognitive-behavioral therapy that focuses on maintaining control in spite of the frustration of not having their needs met.
While it is better to teach communication skills and self-esteem to the Aspergers children, communication skills and friendship skills can be taught to teens or even adults, which can eliminate some of the social isolation they feel. This can avert or reverse anger symptoms.
There are many sources of stress for children and adolescents with Aspergers. Some will react to this by becoming anxious, some by feeling depressed, while others become angry, and rage against the frustrating incidents in their day.
Some individuals internalize their feelings and tend to blame others when things go wrong. Those who externalize their feelings have great difficulty in controlling their temper.
There may be no particular rationalization or focus – just an aggressive mood or an excessive reaction to frustration or provocation. The provocation can be deliberate teasing by other children, or being “set up” as a form of live theater enjoyed by the children who do not get into trouble.
Children with Asperger’s seem to evoke either the maternal or the predatory instinct in others. Children with this syndrome often lack subtlety in retaliating. Other children would wait for an appropriate moment to respond without being caught.
The child with Asperger’s can also lack sufficient empathy and self-control to moderate the degree of injury. They are in a blind fury that gets them into trouble. The teacher sees the child being aggressive and may not be aware of the taunts that precipitated the anger.
It is useful to use strategies to help the child understand the nature and expression of specific feelings, particularly anger. It is also useful to encourage self-control, and to teach the child to consider alternative options.
The Parenting Aspergers Resource Guide: A Complete
Resource Guide For Parents Who Have Children Diagnosed
With Aspergers Syndrome.
Search MyAspergersChild.com
Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management
Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens
Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions
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6 comments:
My son is 8 and we have a terrible time with his anger and fits of "rage". He hits me on a daily basis. Sometimes his fits last an hour. We go see a therapist on a regular basis and he is also on medication. Seems like everyone's ideas and suggestions are great but NOTHING works. It's very hard on me.
My son has ADHD and is almost 11. Has definite signs of Aspergers but was never dx- until now- finally the professionals are thinking he def has it. His anger is awful and the other day he got mad at a friend bc he beat him in a wii game- he crushed a can and scratched the child on the face. I am so upset by this. How do you get the violence form getting worse?
Heather Stokes My 6yr old has extreme fits as well and my 9yr old more emotional breakdowns. What seems to set them off more than anything is processed foods and I can always tell what they have eaten from how extreme the bad behavior is. It seems that after a wk/end of allowing processed foods it takes 3 to 4 days of going through every emotion (anger, rage, crying then exhaustion) before they're back to normal again.
My son is 5 years old, in kindergarten, and was diagnosed the end of
May. Here is the problem: He is very abusive, both physically and
mentally, to me. He says he hates me, says I'm mean, that he wishes
someone would kill me, that I would leave and live somewhere else, among
a list about a mile long. I also have scars where he has scratched and
bit me. He has also charged me like a bull, and buried his head in my
gut. The only form of punishment we can use is sending him to his room.
When he wont go to has room, by saying no or lying on the floor, I have
to physically drag him to his room. Then he flies into a rage and
attacks me. I can't win. I am tired of walking on eggshells around him
because my legs hurt. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can deal with
him besides ignoring him when he is being abusive. It tears my heart in
two every time he says he hates me or he wishes I was dead or gone.
Please help.
How does one begin to deal with violent play themes? My husband and I are at a total loss. We do not allow any violent themes in our home,. however when our 6 year old boy visits his bio mom she allows him to watch inappropriate themes and play accordingly. At this very moment there is nothing we can do legally,.. so how do you recommend we tackle his violent play in our home? Each time we remove the toys he is being inappropriate with his attacks turn to my husband and I,... all advice welcome ♥ Thank you
My name is Sara and I have a 16 month old that hasnt been diagnosed yet. But for the past couple weeks I have noticed his anger getting so bad. Everytime I show him affection he accepts it for a few seconds then attacks my face with such a serious look on his face. And if I say no-no or ow. He becomes very angry and does it again and then throws his self down. No one can get their face anywhere near him or he will either hit you or grab you with his nails and try to rip your face off and gets mad because he cant. This makes me so upset I just want to love on him so badly and every time I think about it I just cry. I dont know what to do.
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