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Being Your Aspergers Child's Advocate

"The psychiatrist has told us that our son Travis has Autism (high functioning). Should my husband and I tell other people, for example teachers, that he has this? I'm not sure if making others aware of this will make it better or worse for Travis."

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20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think telling teachers and others at your child's school is imperative to them knowing why certain behaviors exist. It is a tool to help them know how to better teach your child and perhaps provide services.

Anonymous said...

As a teacher, I agree 100%

Anonymous said...

YOu need to educate yourself as much as you can about everything ASD and Aspergers in particular. The processes in which you will be going through with the schools and teachers. You need to do this now before school starts good luck

Anonymous said...

Yes, tell the teachers. They will be able to help your child much better if they know about their specific needs. Ask the school to have a 504 meeting to discuss it.

Anonymous said...

We didn't tell them last year to begin with and I think that was a mistake. I got called in after he said something strange, but once I told the teachers he has Asperger's then they understood that he was just frustrated. This year I will be telling them ASAP. They need to know that we don't want him using Asperger's as an excuse to say and do strange things, but he needs help learning what is appropriate. Hopefully if they know they can help him better. I also tell them that he is on ADHD meds every year in case he has a medicine reaction in their class.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything said above. A few resources for you - the 100 Day Kit from Autism Speaks (there's a version for Aspger's and it's an invaluable resource!)... it provides wonderful tools including outlining symptoms and what to expect as he gets older, how to talk to family and educators, how to find support groups, and then the basics of what to ask for at his school. I've been right where you are - I can tell you the first few months are the most challenging because there's a lot to learn. But you'll soon realize (if you haven't already) that his diagnosis isn't a curse! It's a blessing. It will provide you with a roadmap to understanding him better and being the very best parent you can for him.

Anonymous said...

We tell people up front because I don't want my son to think it's something to be ashamed of. We have told him, yes, he's different but there are pro's and con's to it just like there are for neurotypical kids. He has even bragged about to a few people LOL! He knows there are negatives to it but overall is proud of the fact he has aspergers. :)

Anonymous said...

We told our son that having Asperger's means he sees the world differently. He responded by saying "yeah, I see Big Bear Mountain everywhere I look".
I made a point of telling his teacher and principal last year. This year, due to difficulty on the playground, I'm going to get an IEP.

Anonymous said...

All Cat's have Asperger's is a great book for young ones.

Anonymous said...

My son told another child he was going to bring a knife to school and it was clearly out of frustration because he had something to say and the other child would not listen to him. Knowing he has Aspergers that makes sense that he would spout off out of frustration. In a case like that - knowing a child has Aspergers makes a huge difference. He could easily have been suspended over it.

Anonymous said...

So what about telling your child's peers and their parents. I'm talking elementary age. I'm afraid my child will get bullied.

Anonymous said...

I would definitely tell his teachers. This will help them understand that he just isn't "acting" out in certain situations. And, it will help him getting the services in school he will need. As for other parents, that's more a judgement call. Most parents will understand if you tell them what Asperger's entails, especially since more and more individuals are being diagnosed with this. In regards to bullies, they are always going to be out there. We've just put our teenaged daughter in a private school that helps those with Autism and those spectrum disorders because of the bullying she was enduring at her school. I suggest you let your child know that he can come to you with whatever is bothering him. This way you can determine if he's actually being bullied or if it may be anxiety he's feeling. And then you can look for ways that he can handle himself in these situations as well as you being able to go to the school/parents with your concerns as you hear them. One day at a time.....hard as that is :-)

Anonymous said...

Definitely tell them. Chances are he'd get bullied or ostracized if they didn't know/understand.

Anonymous said...

I have told my eight year old and since he has known been far better as he no longer feels like the naughty child. He as fascinated for a week. Now its never really mentioned. The school know but he has the book called all cats has aspergers which he uses to tell people if he wants to. With his peers really left to him to tell if he wishes which I feel gives him the control and it is very few children he tells which may change as he gets older.

Anonymous said...

I think that information is always good. I tell everyone who will be alone with my child...camps, babysitters etc. We homeschool so we no longer have the teacher category but everyone else....then they can be on the look out for signs BEFORE things blow up and can use techniques (that I also share with them) that work for my kids.

Anonymous said...

prep now cause bulling will happen & it only gets worse when they get older & my son came home asking if he waz dirt :-( it kills me that theres not more i can do i cant afford private school may end up doing home school but time will tell

Anonymous said...

Yes, tell everyone. Get support and understanding. Apply for school services, IEP and seek out support groups. You need others who have been there.
32 minutes ago via mobile · Like

Anonymous said...

It's important for teachers to know and you'll most likely still need to educate them re his specific profile as every ASD kid is different. It took me 18 months to start talking about it to other parents. I needed to process and understand it myself. We've been developing a profile book for our kids with challenges and strengths of ASD so that if kids start to question it we've got some answers. Also important to teach your child about ASD too so they have their own answers. I think you do have to be careful who you tell bc not everyone is going to be understanding.

Anonymous said...

I think you must talk with the teachers about AS. They can work with him better. Child WIth AS are very specyfic (need routine, dislike change). If your son is angry at school the reason of this can be AS. (Sorry for my English)

Anonymous said...

You can definitely get a 504 plan and IEP if you need it. The beauty in that is that you have legal protection. We have had the worst nightmare with school with our son. Finally having a 504 is nice to have legalities to threaten them with.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens

Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content