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Marriage Difficulties and Raising Aspergers Children

Having a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism has the potential to place a great deal of strain on a family -- and particularly on a couple. Some couples may struggle with issues of blame, how the child should be disciplined, guilt, etc.

Daily routines are a constant challenge. A special needs child often comes with additional financial costs to the family. Dealing with the school can seem like a full-time job. The time that it takes to care for a special needs child can leave other family relationships with no attention. All of this can add up to a number of problems that need to be looked at.

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Anonymous said...

Try amily therapy and taking parenting c;asses together and both working with an ABA trained therapist working with your son... my son is now 19 and the same issue was huge in our marriage too (and there were other bigger issues too that we couldn't get beyond at the time - sadly) - that's the one he repeatedly tossed in my face. and yes that's what it felt like - a slap. the other issues aside - there was likely some truth in the middle. I tended to err on the side of coddle and he on the side of firm discipline - and that may not be a bad thing. (we worked out our co-parenting and are divorced )kids, even ours adapt better than we tend to give them credit for. if you are both approaching parenting from the center of love and can find a way to work together w/o undermining, the duel differences may just be what your little guy needs. ♥ good luck and contact if you feel the need

Anonymous said...

I hate to say that having a son with Aspergers eventually split me and my husband up. He couldn't cope with our son, it put immense pressure on everyone and he left. He now gets on so much better with our son as he isn't around him all the time and seems to deal with him better "in small doses". He's re-married and 3 years on I'm still single, living with depression and doing my best to get through every day best I can. It doesn't always have a happy ending x

Anonymous said...

at times my hubby and i clash over parenting our aspie son but u need to do it together as structure and rules of the house are good for our children and anyway dad is the peacemaker as myself and josh can be too close at times and fall out but dad gives out and moves on whereas i nag and nag........

Anonymous said...

Both of you are probly right.It take two a mother who is protetive a father who pushes to overcome.It makes for a perfect combo.So don't stress overy his way or yours.

Anonymous said...

50% of marriages with a special child unfortuanly end in divorce-mine did I am now remarried my ex remarried 5 yrs ago he still tells me i am crazy & nothing is wrong with our son try councilling & parenting classes u both half to be willing or u also will become part of that satistic its true

Anonymous said...

The main point you need to agree on is: no education action will ever change (let alone heal) the disposition, or maybe the lacking emotional competence of your child.

Anonymous said...

we too had all these problems parenting our a/s daughters,we could never agree,now understand as 5 years ago hubby diagnosed with aspergers too,so many families have an undiagnosed parent too,but its getting better,

Anonymous said...

We always try and discuss ways to deal with our son - above all you have to show a united front - rules have to be consistent from both parents as otherwise it will just be confusing for your child. Sit down and perhaps between you find some common ground and write the rules down so that your child will always know where they stand. I have a teen with asperger and I think in particular at this age rules need to be consistent from everyone

Kate said...

Great post!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content