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Oppositional Defiance in Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"My 8 y.o. has been diagnosed with autism (high functioning) recently, and before that was diagnosed with ODD. When we have behavior problems with him, it's hard to know if the particular 'misbehavior' is driven by autism or by ODD. How do we tell the difference, and how do we approach the multitude of behavior issues we are having with him?"

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Anonymous said...

Nice to know that I am not the only parent that may have a child with more than one overlapping diagnosis.

Anonymous said...

Shannon Lord Persistent is an understatement! I have a feeling my 6 yr old son with Aspergers is going to be an attorney or some kind of debator or salesman when he grows up. He is ALWAYS right regardless & I don`t know what my response is supposed to be. I know people say "choose your battles", but does anyone else have any advice or words of wisdom?
4 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · Like · 1 person
Brenda Garza I try to explain to people that my aspie is yes, oppositional, but no, not defiant. There is a difference.
@ shannon I try to find a way to make him THINK he won the battle. be creative. find a way to say no, without saying "no". "I'd love to let you stay up late when its not a school night." that kind of thing. It doesn't always work, but it avoids alot of battles in our house. as always....GOOD LUCK!

Anonymous said...

Parenting Aspergers Children - Support Group
It is estimated that up to 80% of children with Aspergers also experience intense anxiety symptoms. Anxiety Disorders such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder commonly co-occur with Aspergers. ...See More
6 hours ago · Like
Toni Campbell those are my exact thoughts. It's as if his defiance and opposition are a coping mechanism for his other issues. Thank you!
6 hours ago · Like
Denice Molina Egilsson Before our dx I thought that ODD was possibly the problem. After dx I learned about the anxiety etc and it all made sense. I am glad you brought this up because there are times i still worry. It is good to hear it from someone else's perspective. Thanks :~)
5 hours ago · Like
Toni Campbell
when I heard ODD last week, I literally sobbed, felt like an awful mother, but then the more reading I did and the more people I spoke with, it's all part of the package, and unfortunately my son has just about everything in the package. I've come to the conclusion that even the experts don't know everything. I've had 12+ years with my son, the dr had 5 hours, I think that makes me the expert on my son and no one else. good luck!
3 hours ago · Like

Anonymous said...

Dianna Justice-Ray
Thank you so much for your posts! My 5 yr old daughter was just diagnosed with ODD a few weeks ago. I had never heard of it, but I knew there was something going on, and I'm glad we finally found out what it is. Again, thank you so much for all the info and the support because it has been a long, hard road and sometimes more than I felt I could bear. Hopefully now that she has started med therapy things will start to improve (fingers crossed) for her. I love her so much and just want her to be happy and enjoy life!

Anonymous said...

We have two boys aged 9 and 6 years of age, Our 6 year old was diagnosed with Aspergers a year and a half ago and over the last few months his behaviour has become more aggressive and difficult to control. He is extremely physical and tends to be violent a lot of the day with his older brother and also the children in his classroom. We thought that it was due to the summer vacation break from school and a break in his routine but since his return he has shown more disturbing symptoms which we do not know how to handle.

The main one is that he is asking other children to hurt him or he is hitting himself or using pencils to "stab" himself. His teacher is obviously very concerned and has said that this is far from ‘normal’ behaviour from a child as young as he is. We were wondering if you could advise us in order for us to help him/understand this kind of behaviour and possibly why it is happening and also in order for us to help him going forward.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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