It is hard to know if kids with Aspergers (high functioning autism) are as lonely as their moms and dads believe they are. Therapists do know that playing with a friend, making a friend and being with a friend are "overwhelming skills" for Aspergers children. Kids without Aspergers make no sense to "Aspies," because Aspies are totally preoccupied with their own agendas.
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16 comments:
I do get lonely sometimes, but I have a partner, and family and a couple of friends I see occasionally and that usually seems to be enough.
I don't know if you feel this way too, but it seems like I really want to be alone and don't like being around people, but at the same time I desire really deep connections with people. I don't want to be socializing all the time, but I need something, and it has to be more than just the normal shallow kind of friendship, or I can't be bothered with it.
I have aspergers and I have over 1500 friends. it’s just a raise in intelligence
I have the same problem...I’m 20....I get some social satisfaction out of Yahoo Answers...lol and it helps to hear from people like you who are struggling with the same problem and It makes me feel better.
I think what would be best for you is to have a couple of close friends. You might be able to meet people with similar interests online, who live near you.
I'd also spend time on online communities, like RPGs (text based, so there was a lot of discussion going on in the forums), and while that's not a substitute for friends (in fact, some studies have shown that when you replace real relationships with online ones it can contribute to depression), it seemed to be enough for me.
If you're like that, it would explain why having a boyfriend helps - because that one deep connection is pretty much enough.
I'm like you, I've always found socializing difficult (social phobia), but I have no problem understanding people. I'm just very insecure, and my nerves get in the way of saying and doing the right things. While I meet some of the criteria for Asperger's, I'm pretty sure I don't have it. I think some of the symptoms just overlap with other disorders like social phobia and schizotypal and schizoid personality disorders (a couple of weird ones that I meet a lot of the criteria for).
I'm not sure if I have Aspergers but I am 23 and my whole life I have felt very different from everyone else, socializing was always hard for me. I can pick up on social cues and I understand people's emotions but I'm a loner type and I've never had very many friends. I usually have a bf, which helps, but right now I do not. I try to develop hobbies and to make happy, but when I'm not around people I feel so lonely. What do you do when you don't have friends? How to you keep from being lonely?
It sounds like you might not have Asperger's. They generally aren't good at picking up on social cues etc., which is why they're bad at socializing. They can't relate to people very well or feel empathy towards people. In your case it sounds like something else is causing socializing to be hard for you.
Well, The BF thing is good. I'm 16 with aspergers and never been kissed so at least you got something going for you, I’ve only really started socializing recently. But for the past few years I was horribly lonely and depressed. (And not just fake emo depressed). Like I really had no-one. I've always found hobbies to be helpful (personally I just played chess a lot) but if they haven't worked for you I'm not sure... Video games can help but I'm too sure about it if you’re a girl. Try Sims maybe? Lol
When I didn't have friends, which I pretty much didn't in the last couple of years of high school (I could have hung out with people if I wanted but I couldn't be bothered because I didn't like them that much), I didn't feel all that lonely because my passion in life was poetry and other writing. I'd read a lot and write poetry and that strangely sort of fills the gap pretty well. I suppose because poetry is so personal and reading other people's poetry is like having them speak to you. And poets are often lonely, sensitive types, so I could relate to what they were saying. Maybe there's something like that for you?
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