HELP FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER'S & HIGH-FUNCTIONING AUTISM

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders

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Reward System for Aspergers Children

Question

Reward systems …do they work? We are trying to come up with some kind of reward system and what works??? Stickers? When he completes an assignment, he does not want to work at all, only on his terms.

Answer

Even though rewards can inspire an Aspergers (high functioning autistic) youngster to cooperate, you will need to differentiate between discipline and behavior modification. Offering your Aspergers child stickers for what you would like him to do will often produce initial results. Having said that, the newness of the incentive plan will wear off (sometimes rather quickly), and you will still have to impose negative consequences for improper conduct when it happens.

Obviously, much will depend on your Aspergers youngster. A young child that is naturally driven towards approval may react to positive reinforcement. Sticker rewards may prove a terrific success! A young child that learns from bumping-up against the boundaries might be much less responsive to this method. Searching for approval and limit-testing are both typical ways for a youngster to learn to "go by the guidelines," and many kids require some of each.

What exactly are your household policies? Clear expectations and consistent consequences would be the secrets of success in creating cooperation all through your son or daughter's development. An alternative choice to a reward system is to develop a family environment of cooperative expectation from the beginning. Guidelines can include that we all brush our teeth each morning, comb our hair, wash our faces and eat breakfast. Genuine cooperation entails that I do something for you and you do something for me. Cooperative children are compensated with privileges, like visiting the zoo, receiving a new lunch box or even a brand new toy. Cooperation can also be compensated with simply feeling connected to members of the family.

Sticker reinforcement centers your Aspergers youngster on the accumulation of "goodies," as opposed to the spirit of cooperation. It may however, provide a quick start to cooperative conduct. Mothers and fathers should be prepared to cope with setting boundaries and motivating behavior through expectation and natural consequences in the end.

I do want to offer a word of warning and advice whenever choosing to alter your son or daughter's conduct. Separate actions from emotions. Moms and dads occasionally have impractical expectations that the youngster feel happy about cooperating. In the event the morning regimen is to put your clothes on, before arriving at the breakfast table, your son or daughter need not like doing it, but he or she must accept it.

Reflecting your Aspergers kid's feelings can help him cooperate, instead of "act out" with a meltdown. "You are angry right this moment, I understand; however, you must still put your clothing on, before arriving at the breakfast table. Then we can read our morning tale". The method here is that there is a natural incentive, organic to the cooperation involved in family life. When the youngster chooses not to cooperate, then this may produce a negative result of not having time for his morning story.

Make room for feelings AND expect your child to do his part in the family. If the consequences are not overly strict and the expectations are fairly realistic to your kid’s development, cooperation will become a family affair.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

My daughter is just 12 and has Aspergers, but she is refusing to accept that she is special and has a different outlook on life and the world. I have had to take her out of school due to bullies, and she has become very aggressive when I try to talk to her about her condition. I also have Aspergers.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark,



Thanks for the ebook it is very helpful to see that our sons behaviour is not so unusual after all, and that we are not alone in our struggles.

I feel more hopeful than I have for many years.


Our son is a bright AS 17 year old studying four A levels at a local 6th form college.

He works hard and is doing well at college after a tricky start in September. He has friends and likes to spend time with them.

At home it is a very different matter… he is all you describe in your book, in fact it seems to be based on him.

I have always put it down to the effort of trying to seem “normal” all day and we get the backlash and meltdowns at home.

Anonymous said...

my 7 year old son has ADHD and now we are discovering that he may also have aspergers syndrome. He has been refusing to do work in school in some subjects. Can anyone give me any advice on how to motivate him to do what he is asked to do.

Anonymous said...

At 6th grade now, we have never had success with reward systems, token economy, etc. Rewards and consequences have to be much more immediate for our Aspie: "When you finish (whatever), then you can...(whatever highly motivating thing will work for that child, sometimes just a little break, a special job, a chance to bounce, whatever)." just be sure to break it all down into realistic, Aspie-sized tasks. :) our Aspie can finish his homework in less than 10min if he gets to go for a bike ride after, as an example. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

go to HIGH SCORE HOUSE!!!!! It is awesome. NO rewards systems worked for my aspie until this one!!!

Anonymous said...

We have a range of Reward charts that have been very sucessful with ADHD and Autism children. They can be customized to your child's own needs too. We also have a 15% discount code that may be used.

Anonymous said...

The rewards definitely have to be immediate and sometimes it helps to give a choice as to what the child might receive as a reward or let them tell you what would motivate them. Every kid is motivated by something different.

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually. Thus, the best treatment for Aspergers children and teens is, without a doubt, “social skills training.”

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens

Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions

Parenting children with Aspergers and HFA can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Living with an Aspergers Spouse/Partner

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%. Why so high!? The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships. People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered, vain individuals.

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Online Parent Coaching for Parents of Asperger's Children

If you’re the parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you know it can be a struggle from time to time. Your child may be experiencing: obsessive routines; problems coping in social situations; intense tantrums and meltdowns; over-sensitivity to sounds, tastes, smells and sights; preoccupation with one subject of interest; and being overwhelmed by even the smallest of changes. The hardest part is you feel like you’ll never actually get to know your child and how he/she views the world.

Click here to read the full article...

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