Question
My 8-year-old grandson has Asperger's and ADHD. The schools do not understand the characteristics of Asperger's -- let alone recognize it. What do parents do to get the schools to help these kids; they do have rights!
Answer
You, the parent, need to educate your child's teacher. Use the following information as a start:
Tips for teachers re: "understanding Aspergers characteristics":
Teaching a youngster with Aspergers (high-functioning autism) can seem daunting, especially if you are unfamiliar with the disorder. But it doesn’t have to be. If you are about to teach a student with Aspergers, understanding the syndrome is your best preparation.
Kids with Aspergers tend to have normal or above-normal intelligence and high verbal skills, though they may have a hard time expressing their thoughts. As younger kids, they may show the ability to focus on one task for a long period of time, but they typically do not understand sarcasm, innuendo, or double meaning and have a hard time reading body language and social clues. Teachers are more likely to see boys rather than girls with Aspergers.
Kids with Aspergers may have a very specific and even obsessive interest, such as baseball statistics, trains, or dinosaurs. If a youngster in your class is interested in a particular subject, incorporating it into your teaching, when appropriate, can help keep him focused on the lesson.
Following the "Rules"—
Because many kids with Aspergers have difficulty with social interaction, they sometimes appear to be misbehaving when they don’t mean to be. Some kids do not realize that classroom rules apply to them. They may develop their own ‘rules’ and have a high demand to be perfect.
While some students with Aspergers can focus on one subject, you might find they have trouble concentrating in other areas. A visual cue, such as a yellow warning card placed on the desk for distracting behavior or personalized instructions for what to do during downtime can help keep a youngster focused.
As students grow older and school routines change, different tactics might help. One school used a peer educator to help the student with Aspergers. The peer educator would meet him at his locker in the morning, because he wouldn’t remember which book to bring. It helped cue him about what he needed to get together. Sitting the student next to compassionate students or kids with similar interests, such as baseball, improved the atmosphere.
Enlisting Peers—
Teaching your students about Aspergers can help them handle with maturity and compassion the challenges classmates with Aspergers can present. While many students may not grasp the concept of the autistic spectrum, they can understand that certain kids are more sensitive and need a bit of extra help. Some parents may choose to come have a discussion about Aspergers, while others may leave talking about people’s individual differences to the teachers. One class had a discussion about differences and bullying, led by student council leaders, that helped include his student with Aspergers.
Kids at that age don’t understand disabilities unless they’re explained. It isn’t that he’s trying to be this way, it’s just the way he was born. They can relate in that way. I’m not even sure I used the word Aspergers.
Helping your students understand Aspergers, or at least recognize some of its traits, will help them cope when they experience a meltdown. One teacher would often ask her student’s peer educator to help him calm down by walking with him. He just needed time to have a quieter environment where he could settle down and talk about what he’s upset about. It wasn’t easy for him to brush things off, but he could get control, come back, and be part of the group again.
Giving a youngster time to recompose—by sitting in a special “study desk” or talking to a counselor or teacher in the hall—can help get things back to normal. Ask what caused the meltdown: for a younger kid, it might be the texture of a pencil; an older kid may have felt flustered when the room got too chaotic. But be warned: Sometimes they may not be able to express what happened without a little digging on your part.
A tiny shift in environment can make a huge difference for kids with Aspergers. If you’re not sure just what tiny shift your environment needs, experts recommend talking to the parents, who will most likely know their youngster better than anyone else.
Keeping Good Communication—
Meeting with parents and kids separately before school starts, if possible, is one good way to transition into a new year. One teacher also shows the kids their desks, lockers, and the restroom. Expect that things might be a bit rough for a few weeks. Just like you’re getting to know your new students, they are trying to figure you out, too—while adjusting to a new schedule and new surroundings as well. Woods says that a positive change in the demeanor of a youngster with Aspergers typically happens after a few weeks, once they feel more comfortable in their setting.
Keeping the line of communication with parents open, be it through e-mail or notes sent home, can help them work together to provide a positive learning environment. The goal is to help kids with Aspergers learn and be able to adapt socially, and teachers need to consider every way of reaching them.
Think outside the box and try different things. Find out what makes them tick.
Best Comment:
I feel like the worse
parent in the world, I have a 14 year old who was just recently diagnosed
with Asperger's. I have just started reading your blogs and I find them
very informative. I knew all along that it was Asperger's but every
professional I went to just added another label. It started with ADHD and
sensory in kindergarten, then OCD, ODD (grade 1), Tourettes(grade 3), over
anxious disorder, non verbal learning disorder, executive dysfunction Grade 7,
and finally Asperger's in Grade 9.
Anyways a big problem for my son is anxiety. I recognized this at a very early age, my son was a bed wetter up until the age of 8 and he would hide it from his father for fear that his father would be mad. In Kindergarten and Grade 1 if my son had a bad day at school he was punished at home. His father would take everything away. A problem arose at school where my son would freak out afraid that the staff would tell his father. The anxiety over getting in trouble was bigger than the actual behaviors.
Anyways a big problem for my son is anxiety. I recognized this at a very early age, my son was a bed wetter up until the age of 8 and he would hide it from his father for fear that his father would be mad. In Kindergarten and Grade 1 if my son had a bad day at school he was punished at home. His father would take everything away. A problem arose at school where my son would freak out afraid that the staff would tell his father. The anxiety over getting in trouble was bigger than the actual behaviors.
When his father became physically abusive in Grade 3 I left. I have been doing it on my own ever since. I have lost my career as a teacher because I have had to miss so much time to attend to my son. He always had a severe dislike of school. In Grade 1 he would either run or fight. If a staff member cornered him when he was upset he would physically lash out. My son was restrained, locked in rubber rooms and more often sent home.
I would physically have to carry my son to school on several occasions but he quickly became too big. The last time I forced him to go to school 3 years ago he jumped out of a moving car. Now my days exist of pleading, bribing, reasoning, begging etc just to get him to school. Some days he out right refuses to go , other days I get him to the parking lot and he cries hysterically.
On the days I get him to school he quite often is sent home, for refusing to do his work or for crying. Other days he says he simply cannot handle it and leaves.
I have been fighting the school to get supports for my son. Currently he is in a segregated classroom for 2 1/2 hours a day. I don't think the lack of structure in this classroom is working, there are always different people in and out. I want an aid for my son to accompany him to the regular classroom.
I have wrote a letter of appeal to the School board and the department of education as follows:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello,
I am writing today to express a grievance which I have with Menihek High School. I have contacted Lester Simmons and he has not responded to my email. I am an extremely frustrated parent of a 14 year old boy who is being denied of an education because the school is refusing to meet his needs. My son is diagnosed with Asperger's as well as a long list of co morbid disorders.
I made the decision to move back to Labrador City last year after contacting the school and assessing what resources would be available for my son. I was very clear as to my expectations and I wanted my son in a regular Grade 8 classroom with an aid. I was told he met the criteria for an aid because he was a runner and had a history of violent out bursts. He was put in the regular classroom with no support. This was disastrous and he was quickly moved to a special ed classroom. His day was then shortened to 2 1/2 hours. There has been no plan that I am aware of to increase his days other than asking him if he would like to stay longer.
I am writing today to express a grievance which I have with Menihek High School. I have contacted Lester Simmons and he has not responded to my email. I am an extremely frustrated parent of a 14 year old boy who is being denied of an education because the school is refusing to meet his needs. My son is diagnosed with Asperger's as well as a long list of co morbid disorders.
I made the decision to move back to Labrador City last year after contacting the school and assessing what resources would be available for my son. I was very clear as to my expectations and I wanted my son in a regular Grade 8 classroom with an aid. I was told he met the criteria for an aid because he was a runner and had a history of violent out bursts. He was put in the regular classroom with no support. This was disastrous and he was quickly moved to a special ed classroom. His day was then shortened to 2 1/2 hours. There has been no plan that I am aware of to increase his days other than asking him if he would like to stay longer.
This year he started Grade 9 eagerly, His teacher told him he had to go to a regular classroom for homeroom period, he freaked, he was terrified so the teacher told me I had to bring him in 20 minutes later at 8:20 because there was no one available to watch him during this time.
His teacher has constantly set him up for failure. If he cries he is sent home. If he refuses to do his work he is sent home. It seems that he is constantly being set up for failure so he will go home.
I have provided the school with a list of suggestions that have been successful and they are not trying. In the past Zachary has had the most success in the regular classroom with the services of an aid. He needs sensory breaks, he needs a safe place to go when he is upset, not the bench in the hallway. I believe Zach needs structure and routine and this is not the case in the special education class.
Currently he is involved in a power struggle with his teacher, Almost three weeks ago she presented him with questions in Science that are different from what he has been doing all year and he refused to do them. He was given the choice, do them or go home. He came home in tears. It took me week to get him back to school and he was only there 10 minutes when I was called to go get him because he was refusing to do the questions, he was crying in the background saying that he didn't want to go home. Today 9 days after the last attempt I bought him to school and was called 45 minutes later over the same questions. I am a teacher, fully aware that differentiated instruction is available and not every approach will work for every child. Most of Zach's work in the special ed classroom has been independently working at the computer. When he was presented with different style questions he freaked.
My son has a severe anxiety towards school, many days he is stomach sick and it is a big struggle just to get him there.
I am involved with Association for Community Living and they have advised me that it is time to take further action. I decided to hold off for a bit hoping that the school would make school more accessible to my son. I know my son's legal rights and I have the support I require to take this to the next level should I need to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just had a team
meeting last week and His Dr., the school and his councilor turned everything
around on me. They say the reason my son runs from school is
because I make home to attractive to him. They even say it may be a
matter for protective services because the law says that he has to be in
school! They accused me of letting him on the computer all the time...
I'll admit he does spend too much time on the computer, about 3 hours a day but
that use is contingent on his going to school, if he doesn't go and stay he
does not get the computer. What am I supposed to do lock him in a
dungeon?
I was told that if my son had a diagnosis of Asperger's there would be more resources available, I am not seeing any yet. The Dr that diagnosed my son has only seen him over the last year via teleconference and never even asked about his past behaviors.
MORE COMMENTS:
• Anonymous said… Evan gives me a hard time about going to school but once we're out of the house he seems fine. He's only been to one party this year and it was for one of Sam's friends. Good luck with the party! I hope he has a good time smile emoticon
• Anonymous said… Get an advocate........I volunteer as one where I live......schools give parents a rough time.....when they bring in someone who knows special ed law for the state......there's a whole different attitude......advocates are volunteers so there's no cost.......in an advocate and when my sons had meetings.....I took my own advocate..
• Anonymous said… He actually does best with adults which is was one of the first red flags for his teacher. He for the most part is content to sit quietly by himself. His grades are excellent and he works ahead of most of his class. Anonymous said… I am another parent who eventually gave up on our public schools in 4th grade. We have a virtual charter school program, which is public, but all online at home. Now in 10th grade, headed to early college classes to finish high school. Brilliant techie! He will always be quirky, but not disabled in the way the schools tried to define him. Play to their strengths-- and always, always be on your child's side, you know them best
• Anonymous said… I am reading some amazing books. A friend of mine also has me started with using essential oil blends, they do help. I just found a couple of these groups recently. But, knowing what I know now makes it a lot easier in communicating more effectively with him. I will definitely let you know if I find one locally.
• Anonymous said… I am still all new to this thinking my son was only ADHD. I am awaiting confirmation from the doctor. But, everything I have read are characteristics of my sons behaviors. Still trying to find a support group.
• Anonymous said… I am trying to find this puffy that you can make at home with Evan. I am going to try it tonight. It is supposed to be very good for sensory issues. But, it is something for everyone.
• Anonymous said… I don't know how or what laws are in place in different states,but my son was in a charter school since kindergarten until the beginning of 4th grade I knew he had Aspergers very early but he didn't get fully diagnosed until last year .Then he finally received an IEP plan .The charter school wasn't equipped with people that were empathetic to my sons learning issues and it was too much of a lax environment.I moved to a different county and home schooled for a few months but he hated it,it wasn't structured enough for him.So his first time in public school was a few months ago and lucky he got into a school that deals with IEP's regularly so he loves school. You have to definitely advocate for your kid/s to get an IEP or 504 plan by law in CA the schools have to abide by it or find a school that will and provide transportation as well to and from the school willing to work with your child.It's a process but it's worth it in the end.It's ridiculous that there are teachers that treat kids like ours like they are bad or not willing to listen.SMH why teach? My son had an evil fourth grade teacher that would laugh at his nervous movements.I reported her but the charter school did nothing.Now his teacher is a straight gift from the teacher god's! Lol I just wish schools would be more empathetic towards our kids.
• Anonymous said… I know exactly how you feel. No problem!
• Anonymous said… I pulled my son out of public school. He was being bullied by the kids and the teachers. He is homeschooled now, and he loves it.
• Anonymous said… It's been frustrating because we've been saying for 2 years that we thought Ev had Aspergers and no one would listen. His kindergarten teacher is AMAZING and she mentioned it to me after doing research on her own. She helped us get the ball rolling.
• Anonymous said… I've been looking at psychologists for Ev to maybe get him help with socializing at school. That's where he has the most trouble
• Anonymous said… Let me know how it turns out. I need to find stuff to keep them occupied next week. We're gonna take them to the Museum next week. They have a Lego exhibit and all 3 of them enjoy Legos
• Anonymous said… My 10 year old sons school ( bardfield primary) didn't understand my sons needs and didn't want him there, wanted me to change he's school so took him out of school all together an home tutoring him now, best move I made
• Anonymous said… oh dear my two boys have asd and i see its so common that some.of our kids dont manage to finish school frown emoticon xx
• Anonymous said… Oh, I know... And the sooner it is caught the sooner intervention can start. Let me guess he gets along with kids either younger or older. But, just doesn't mesh with his peers. Easily frustrated switching tasks.
• Anonymous said… Reading all these problems gob smack me .Its the same as our grandson .He told us that he lives in a different world to other people and if he could write it all down everything would be just fine .He likes one on one no interferance from any one .He wont go to school either and in NZ only one doctor who can access the mind of children with asperges and she has gone private .So the people who dont have the money get shoved at the back of the line.
• Anonymous said… Same here we now home educated all four kids. My two boys with autism were 5 and 7 and I couldn't allow school to fail them further. I'd tried two schools with my 7 year old the first was appalling the second better but just not equipped to manage and I noticed they started to belittle them. I now have different boys they are so much happier. To be honest my 9 year old is much happier too and my youngest will never experience school. I wish I'd never but them in school.
• Anonymous said… Sounds like Evan. Breaks my heart daily. I'll look them up. Thank you!
• Anonymous said… They never understood mine? Don't believe me? Ask LISD from the 80s, 90s, and early 00s. Social Media had came back to haunt them in NTX area.
• Anonymous said… Unfortunately the reason the schools are not recognising these conditions. Is that there is very little training for the teachers around this. Keep pushing the schools. I take information about Autism and Adhd and give it to the teacher's.
• Anonymous said… Yep. Hopefully, you can get some things in place during the summer. The girls like my son but the boys tease him a lot. I am letting him go to a birthday party next Friday. I think he is excited because it is Jaks Warehouse.
• Anonymous said… Yep. There is a new one at St. Margarets Dyer. Her name is Ashlyn and she is great!!! She is actually the only person that connected the dots for Riese. Just waiting for clinical diagnosis.
Post your comment below…
I was told that if my son had a diagnosis of Asperger's there would be more resources available, I am not seeing any yet. The Dr that diagnosed my son has only seen him over the last year via teleconference and never even asked about his past behaviors.
MORE COMMENTS:
• Anonymous said… Evan gives me a hard time about going to school but once we're out of the house he seems fine. He's only been to one party this year and it was for one of Sam's friends. Good luck with the party! I hope he has a good time smile emoticon
• Anonymous said… Get an advocate........I volunteer as one where I live......schools give parents a rough time.....when they bring in someone who knows special ed law for the state......there's a whole different attitude......advocates are volunteers so there's no cost.......in an advocate and when my sons had meetings.....I took my own advocate..
• Anonymous said… He actually does best with adults which is was one of the first red flags for his teacher. He for the most part is content to sit quietly by himself. His grades are excellent and he works ahead of most of his class. Anonymous said… I am another parent who eventually gave up on our public schools in 4th grade. We have a virtual charter school program, which is public, but all online at home. Now in 10th grade, headed to early college classes to finish high school. Brilliant techie! He will always be quirky, but not disabled in the way the schools tried to define him. Play to their strengths-- and always, always be on your child's side, you know them best
• Anonymous said… I am reading some amazing books. A friend of mine also has me started with using essential oil blends, they do help. I just found a couple of these groups recently. But, knowing what I know now makes it a lot easier in communicating more effectively with him. I will definitely let you know if I find one locally.
• Anonymous said… I am still all new to this thinking my son was only ADHD. I am awaiting confirmation from the doctor. But, everything I have read are characteristics of my sons behaviors. Still trying to find a support group.
• Anonymous said… I am trying to find this puffy that you can make at home with Evan. I am going to try it tonight. It is supposed to be very good for sensory issues. But, it is something for everyone.
• Anonymous said… I don't know how or what laws are in place in different states,but my son was in a charter school since kindergarten until the beginning of 4th grade I knew he had Aspergers very early but he didn't get fully diagnosed until last year .Then he finally received an IEP plan .The charter school wasn't equipped with people that were empathetic to my sons learning issues and it was too much of a lax environment.I moved to a different county and home schooled for a few months but he hated it,it wasn't structured enough for him.So his first time in public school was a few months ago and lucky he got into a school that deals with IEP's regularly so he loves school. You have to definitely advocate for your kid/s to get an IEP or 504 plan by law in CA the schools have to abide by it or find a school that will and provide transportation as well to and from the school willing to work with your child.It's a process but it's worth it in the end.It's ridiculous that there are teachers that treat kids like ours like they are bad or not willing to listen.SMH why teach? My son had an evil fourth grade teacher that would laugh at his nervous movements.I reported her but the charter school did nothing.Now his teacher is a straight gift from the teacher god's! Lol I just wish schools would be more empathetic towards our kids.
• Anonymous said… I know exactly how you feel. No problem!
• Anonymous said… I pulled my son out of public school. He was being bullied by the kids and the teachers. He is homeschooled now, and he loves it.
• Anonymous said… It's been frustrating because we've been saying for 2 years that we thought Ev had Aspergers and no one would listen. His kindergarten teacher is AMAZING and she mentioned it to me after doing research on her own. She helped us get the ball rolling.
• Anonymous said… I've been looking at psychologists for Ev to maybe get him help with socializing at school. That's where he has the most trouble
• Anonymous said… Let me know how it turns out. I need to find stuff to keep them occupied next week. We're gonna take them to the Museum next week. They have a Lego exhibit and all 3 of them enjoy Legos
• Anonymous said… My 10 year old sons school ( bardfield primary) didn't understand my sons needs and didn't want him there, wanted me to change he's school so took him out of school all together an home tutoring him now, best move I made
• Anonymous said… oh dear my two boys have asd and i see its so common that some.of our kids dont manage to finish school frown emoticon xx
• Anonymous said… Oh, I know... And the sooner it is caught the sooner intervention can start. Let me guess he gets along with kids either younger or older. But, just doesn't mesh with his peers. Easily frustrated switching tasks.
• Anonymous said… Reading all these problems gob smack me .Its the same as our grandson .He told us that he lives in a different world to other people and if he could write it all down everything would be just fine .He likes one on one no interferance from any one .He wont go to school either and in NZ only one doctor who can access the mind of children with asperges and she has gone private .So the people who dont have the money get shoved at the back of the line.
• Anonymous said… Same here we now home educated all four kids. My two boys with autism were 5 and 7 and I couldn't allow school to fail them further. I'd tried two schools with my 7 year old the first was appalling the second better but just not equipped to manage and I noticed they started to belittle them. I now have different boys they are so much happier. To be honest my 9 year old is much happier too and my youngest will never experience school. I wish I'd never but them in school.
• Anonymous said… Sounds like Evan. Breaks my heart daily. I'll look them up. Thank you!
• Anonymous said… They never understood mine? Don't believe me? Ask LISD from the 80s, 90s, and early 00s. Social Media had came back to haunt them in NTX area.
• Anonymous said… Unfortunately the reason the schools are not recognising these conditions. Is that there is very little training for the teachers around this. Keep pushing the schools. I take information about Autism and Adhd and give it to the teacher's.
• Anonymous said… Yep. Hopefully, you can get some things in place during the summer. The girls like my son but the boys tease him a lot. I am letting him go to a birthday party next Friday. I think he is excited because it is Jaks Warehouse.
• Anonymous said… Yep. There is a new one at St. Margarets Dyer. Her name is Ashlyn and she is great!!! She is actually the only person that connected the dots for Riese. Just waiting for clinical diagnosis.
Post your comment below…
20 comments:
Ah! Easy, you inform them what Aspergers kids are all about, you are vigilant in e-mail teachers, administration and the BOE... You inform them of the child's rights, you NEVER, EVER back down. :-)
1st and foremost educate yourself & your family armed with knowledge go into the school with things like a book and offer to read it to his class to start with I used The Friendship Puzzle to read to 1st my own kids class then I was asked by other teachers to borrow it so it could be read to there's also use the counsolur in the school, princpals, librarians and resource teachers if your not being heard in school go to the school board or your representative in your district
I agree with them all. we also had to have the Autism Doctor come in and speak to the teachers on our behalf. my advice is to be very vocal about your grandson's needs and characteristics..keep at it!
We went to a tribunal to fight for our child to go to a specialst autistic school....I'm afraid to say "mainstream just don't understand or have the expertise " to educate and support our children no matter how much they say they do!.....my son went to 4 primary and 1 secondary "mainstream" schools before we said enough this child deserves and should be given the education and more important the help and support he needs!!
Good luck, because so many of these kids are also incredibly smart, the schools don't want to do anything for them. I fought for almost 2 years just to get my daughter evaluated, now she is on a 504, but they don't enforce it. They refuse to do a social skills group because she doesn't qualify for special education, despite the school psychologist stating that she needs it! It has been a constant battle since she was diagnosed, and the battle continues. I wish you luck!
We've been working with our new district to find out the right support system for my son since we moved here a little over a year ago. Finally, we had a behavior specialist come and do an evaluation, and now they're doing some training this week for the teachers and implementing a whole list of supports. Here's hoping it helps!
My child also has a 504 but they will give her no accommodations for it because her grades are good .... I fought and fought and lost .... What was the point of approving it and then not letting me use it
We got the help of a therapist and she met with teachers and staff at our son's school. We eventually moved him to a different school and into a program where they understand his struggles and he is thriving!
My son's first elementary school called the police when my son had a meltdown. Luckily I got to the school before they responded. That was last school year. This year had I changed schools, but he hadn't been diagnosed so they didn't know how to handle him. At least they tried. I'm now homeschooling. We are working with the school and the therapist to get him back in a school environment next year. It requires a lot of educating, but if the school is good they will do what they can to learn and to help. Bringing the dr in may help. It really helps if it is a team effort.
OMG this sounds like my story! My daughter was diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD/inattentive type at the age of 9, only 8 months ago. I feel like people act like aspergers is fake. I am educating myself by reading books that I would love to share with the teachers but afraid they will not read them. I don't feel they care about the individual students. Yes she has an IEP and receives extra time, separate setting for state-testing, modified assignments, speech therapy. They requested I put her on medication, I did. They requested I get her extra speech therapy outside of school, I did. Thank God we have awesome insurance. I am about to request counceling for my family because it is hard having a husband and a neurotypical daughter that don't get it because my 9 year old is very different than my son with autism. I recently started volunteering with the autism society. I hope this will help me learn to advocate in a calmly manner. Her teachers think she should be retained because she is immature. That right there tells me they aren't willing to educate themself. If they want to kick her while she's down, I will take her off medication. What would be the point for her to do her best and improve, only to be retained. There is no law that says I have to medicate her. That is the card I am playing right now. I also would like to see monthly seminars on bullying.
Same here. Nothing gets done for my child no matter how hard I try. They think that because she may ask a question while the treacher is talking she its just behaving badly.
Hi everyone! We are part of a nationwide non-profit organization that offers FREE help to parents regarding their child's IEPs, 504 plans, Behavior, Transition, IDEA, etc. If you are struggling to get your schools to write a good and measureable IEP, or if you believe you have a good IEP and they're not following it, please come to our page and leave a comment and we'll connect you with the Parent Training and Information center in your area. PLEASE do not leave your comments here as we don't get FB notifications except for ones left on our page. Best wishes!
I have had so many struggles with my sons school..paid to have him transferred to a school a couple cities away..thought all was well..now looks like I am going to have to start fighting once more..its ridiculous that our children need help and we have to fight for it so hard and they make it nearly impossible. They should offer up the services to begin with. I have been so shocked at how my son has been treated thus far. His former school was abusive, the school he is at now thinks that for some reason after this holiday break it over that he is going to be "leveled out" after being taken off his meds( bad side effects), they had to hire an aid to be by his side 24/7 so that he could function in the class..and they informed both my husband and I that it was "temporary" and that they couldn't just do that forever. So they would do it for a week and thats it. I know when he goes back in a couple of days he is going to continue to of course have the struggles he had 2 weeks ago..he has had them his entire life. Its so sad and exhausting. You are not alone in your battles with the school district..I know and understand how hard it is. But just keep pushing, keep fighting, keep doing everything you can think of to get your sweet child the help that they need.
As soon as we got a diagnosis ( in kindergarten ) I went to work on developing his IEP - note:I I I went to work on it! We do have an adequate support staff so I set up meetings with them. What I request MUST go in his IEP. IEP (indivualized education plan) is a LEGAL document with regulations that REQUIRE teachers to read it and follow any modifications listed. In his IEP it is required that I meet with ALL of his teachers BEFORE school starts each year. I describe aspergers to them, tell them about his specific needs and peculiarities, and point out the 3 handouts that I chose to put in his permanent file - as REQUIRED reading for each of his teachers. NEVER STOP. It will happen. "no child left behind" is a FEDERAL PROGRAM!!!
Elementary school was a nightmare, the school labeled him as ADD with defiant behaviors, though that wasn't the case. Intermediate school was even worse (5th and 6th grades). I was constantly getting calls from the school about him going into a meltdown and then full blown shutdown mode. I honestly don't know how we survived that year, but thankfully we did. I'm a single parent and most of the times I was alone when going to the school meetings. He was diagnosed before his 7th grade year. Armed with a diagnosis, research and a team full of ppl, my son and I entered his 7th grade year ready to fight. Thankfully his 7th and 8th grade years went a little better, but I have learned to make sure and not go into a meeting by myself. That's when the schools will gang up on you and give you the run around. I am fortunate that my mother is a SPED para in another district. She knows the state policies and can help me call the schools out on the bs they try to feed me every so often. My son and I are also fortunate enough to have a great Case Manager, she attends the meetings as well and has helped greatly this year. He is currently a 9th grader and high school has been a hard transition for him. As for the people I take with me to the school meetings, I bring people with me that are involved in my son's life. My mother, my sister, his case manager, his Boy Scout Troop leader. It lets the school staff and teachers know that I mean business, that my son and I have a great support system and we are not afraid to demand that he has the education he not only needs but deserves. Involve other people if you have to, as they can help you, if not through the schools, then to the school administration and as you go up the chain. Don't stop at just the district administration, go all the way up to the State department of education and even higher if you have to. These are our children and they deserve the same chance's, education and respect as others!!!
If you can find a school with a really good learning support system, you may have to think about changing schools, i know its t.e worst thing for aspie, change, but at the right school it can make a hell of a difference!
I bring his behavioralist with us to every 504 meeting and she also works with his teacher to educate her. I have at one point needed a special ed advocate as well. The most important thing to remember is to NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT!
My son is 7 and just about to go into year 2 (australia) and we're finding our school wants nothing to do with us and our advice. We have had multipule meetings with the principal of the school to discuss our son and his needs and each time we are informed that no special allowances will be made as they will only single him out (as if him covering his ears and crying during whole school assemblies isn't enough to make him stand out among his peers), and we are made to feel that we are stupid for believing our son has asperger's + sensory processing disorder.
Aspergers and autism related disorders are as real as you and I. I am very lucky here as the school works together to have a personal learning plan, the teachers aides are great and the kids at school are more understanding of kids with special needs. It has been a hell battle not with the school or the team of specialists that support us, the hardest part for me was accepting that one of my children has this disorder - let alone 3 on the spectrum who are so similar and so very different. I found that educating myself and knowing what my children have has made a huge impact on working with the teachers and community in general. I found out the autism and related disorders like aspergers are more common than people think some statitstics I saw said 1 in 91 here in aus/usa. I live in Australia and there has been a huge movement in getting our kids funding and education to help them get a better start in life.
I am finding myself feeling very frustrated as I am dealing with these same issues. As I often do, I shared this link on my page as it is comforting to feel not so alone in this struggle. It amazes me that I got a response from an individual- not dealing with aspergers or any other conditions by the way- that wrote on my post that if schools identifyied Aspergers it would be like ADHD and everybody would be diagnosed with it. Really??!!
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