My ASD Child

"How can I motivate my adult son (with high functioning autism) to develop some sense of responsibility and think in terms of becoming a productive member of society?" If you are in a situation where your adult child with Aspergers or high-functioning autism (HFA) is living with you and it is mutually beneficial (or at least mutually respectful), then this article may not be for you. However, if your young adult is overly-dependent or lives at home in a situation that has become uncomfortable or intolerable, then read on… Over time, some moms and dads of adult children on the autism spectrum have moved from “caring for” their child to “care-taking” – sometimes well into their adulthood. Many moms and dads are held hostage by emotions (e.g., anger, frustration, disappointment, guilt, fear, etc.) and frequently wonder what will happen if they do throw their adult child out of the nest without a net. Here are some concrete steps to help that adult child gain the self...

  The transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the most emotionally complex and practically demanding phases for families raising an autistic child. It is also one of the most misunderstood. Adulthood is often framed as a clean break—graduate, move out, work full time, manage everything independently. For autistic young people, development rarely follows such a linear script. Progress comes in waves, pauses, regressions, and breakthroughs, all shaped by nervous-system capacity, executive functioning, emotional safety, and support quality. This article reframes adulthood not as a deadline, but as a developmental process —one that unfolds over time and looks different for every individual on the autism spectrum. Learning Objectives By the end of this article, you will understand how the transition into adulthood differs for autistic teens and young adults, how to support independence without overwhelming capacity, and how to plan across multiple life domains in a way ...

College depression is a common problem in young people with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism (HFA). Moms and dads need to understand why the transition to college makes their “special needs” son or daughter vulnerable to depression — and what they can do about it – BEFORE the young adult attempts, and then fails, his or her first semester of college. “College depression” isn't a clinical diagnosis. Rather, it’s a form of an adjustment disorder (i.e., a type of stress-related mental illness or depression).  Typically, signs and symptoms of an adjustment disorder begin within three months of a stressful life event (in this case, going away to school). Depression, however, may occur at any time. College students with Aspergers and HFA face many challenges, pressures and anxieties that their “typical” peers do not. Many factors can cause these young people to feel overwhelmed, for example: adapting to a new schedule adapting to a new workload adjusting to life ...

“We have a 28 year old son with ASD (high-functioning) who refuses to leave our house. He is a college graduate with a marketable degree, but he refuses to get a real job. He has earned a considerable amount of money playing online poker and just laughs in my face and tells me to shut up when I tell him that gaming is not a way to earn a living. I recently told him that if he was going to support himself by gambling that he needed to find a new place to live. He threw a huge tantrum, got in my face, cussed me out, and dared me to kick him out. On top of everything else, he does not clean up after himself. You’d think we had a 16 year old living here! We are at our wits end. We don't want to strain our relationship with our son by getting the police involved because we love him and have had plenty of good times over the years. But we are getting older, and it’s time for him to go. My wife and I are getting ready to retire and we do not need to spend our retirement dealing with thi...

The greatest challenge you will face as a mother or father of an Aspergers or high functioning autistic (HFA) child is supporting him or her through the transition to adulthood. As protective (or over-protective) as you may be, at some point you will be ready for your teenager to leave home to venture out on his own into the adult world. Of course your relationship with your adult child will continue long after he or she leaves the nest, and your loving support can help with “grown-up” responsibilities. Is your 18 or 19-year-old teenager ready for adulthood? Answer yes or no to the following questions: Can your adolescent drive? Can your adolescent make meals and snacks for himself? Do you get frustrated with your adolescent's inability to complete projects? Do you give your adolescent opportunities to make his own decisions? Do you give your adolescent positive feedback? Do you listen to your adolescent's problems, make suggestions and then allow him to choose ...

Parenting any ASD adolescent has its challenges. When he or she has Asperger’s (AS) or High Functioning Autism (HFA), the challenges are even greater. While most young people on the autism spectrum attend regular school, have friends, and participate in the same activities as their peers, they possess certain traits - and face certain obstacles - that “typical” adolescents don’t. For example: Adolescents on the autism spectrum might imitate what they have learned in books or movies, and their voices might sound flat or boring. Many AS and HFA adolescents prefer to be alone and may not show an interest in making friends.  Some are quiet and withdrawn.  They often don’t understand the importance of eye contact – and may avoid it altogether.  They have trouble understanding jokes or sarcasm. Some AS and HFA adolescents don’t understand socially acceptable ways to express frustration, and may become aggressive or throw tantrums. Most of these young people are soci...