Over 25% of public schools report that bullying among students occurs on a daily basis. Also, one in five middle school students with Aspergers (high-functioning autism) report being bullied in the past 3 months.
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My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum
Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.
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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
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12 comments:
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Darlene Robichaud this is so true! My son has Aspergers and he is bullied almost daily at school, and theres another boy in his class also with Aspergers whose also bullied! its just no right that these bullies know to what extent to which they can manipulate our children... its sad and breaks my heart having to send my boy to school!
9 hours ago · Like · 1
Betty Turner Macknight hi just reading what you had there , when did you find cout Austin had this cand how long ?
8 hours ago · Like
Michelle Cagle Thank you! We are really not alone! ♥ your advising!
7 hours ago · Like
Darlene Robichaud Nope definately not alone at all :( ♥
5 hours ago · Like
Lissa Bean Happened to my daughter in Kindergarten!!! It's starts early and these kids think they know more than you!! unbelievable how much my husband and i caught while we volunteered in the classroom during the year. Half the parents don't "believe" their kids can be bullies, but the reality is that YES they can!!! Too much has happened to my daughter that i said enough is enough. She is virtual schooled now and is waaaaay more happy!!! We do so much more than her public school offers too!!! :-)
5 hours ago · Like
Karren Carr So true we moved schools be
this is so true! My son has Aspergers and he is bullied almost daily at school, and theres another boy in his class also with Aspergers whose also bullied! its just no right that these bullies know to what extent to which they can manipulate our children... its sad and breaks my heart having to send my boy to school!
And unfortunately this is why so many of us are choosing to homeschool our children hoping that once they are beyond these adolescent years they will have matured and respect others.
well, i wasn't bullied in school, but i was teased alot by my friends for my gullibility and lack of understanding certain situations. however, i currently feel bullied my two of my coworkers. i haven't told them about my conditions, but i feel like they pick on me b/c i'm so eager to please. sometimes i don't understand why they get angry or frustrated with me. sometimes it just seems like they're trying to push me around. unfortunately, i think adults resort to passive/agressive bullying, which is alot harder to explain and resolve.
Here is another thing not often mentioned... sometimes teachers let it happen because they get annoyed dealing with our children's quirks and they turn a blind eye. Also, some teachers will find fault with every little thing our child does and yet let it slide with the other non-aspie kids. My son is in high school now, we're a military family and I can tell you most of the struggles we had was in public schools, not our overseas schools. But it was a long hard road. Just remember and KNOW your rights, because a lot of schools will push you into placing your child into special ed classes, we fought it as our son has a high iq, and the fact is, our children do far better learning socially in a classroom that is not special needs. The point is, they cannot force you into anything, it's a matter of holding your ground. He is in honors now and makes high grades, 10th grade. Things do get better and while there are always new challenges just hang in there. Half of what you worry over will get better. It takes them time to learn how to act in an acceptable way. I've learned I don't get embarassed easily anymore. Find the humor in your struggles and NEVER EVER tolerate bullying. An IEP is a must make sure you get your child an IEP, it's the best way to assert your child's rights in any school system and see they have an advocate. Lissa, same here, I caught kids jumping on my son at recess, even though it "wasn't happening'.
Yesterday at 4:58am · Like
PS with an IEP, usually it is bad on the school if the iep student is getting bullied. Even to this day, I will call his case worker at school if bullying happens. From time to time it does on the bus, and his case worker is right on it!
My son ( will be 9 march 1st), Sensory integration disorder, asperger's , nvld, and anxiety has been awful with me the past two to three weeks ( it has been longer but this has been every day now). He is only like this for me. As sson as he gets out of school it starts. He asks for something, if I need to say no or even not right now it's "you hate me" You are SO grumpy" you alwyas yell at me" I speak in a normal tone of voice, defiantely not yelling. When or if I try to point this out it's more YOU are grumpy. He can never see his part in the equation that he is the one yelling or actingout or losing control. It is all me. He won't do this with his dad ( who only sees him on satuday when I work and a bit on sunday because hubby works 3rd shift). His dad was recently diagnosed as Bipolar 2 and if he DID act this way way his dad his dad would throw things, slam doors and yell ( scream) so I try and usually do stay calm. The constant cyring, tantruming, irrational, crazy stuff is driving me crazy! I am clearly not yelling. Saying no is not being grump. I do not call him names, say mean things yet all evening it's all I hear. He has had a hard transistion to third grade ( new building and staff) but seemed to be getting better. His "friend" since kindergarten is moving in a month. We have a therapist ( I am ready to switch, my son just won't engage during sessionns) and he is on risperdal.25mg twice a day and 50 mg Zoloft once a day and meletonin at bedtime. He can be very sweet too but it is really wearing me down. He is obsessive and his latest is going to car dealers to look at cars and finding out the date cars were made (it's on the inside of the door). I have no idea what to do. I am told to be more strict but I don't just give him his way or the world when he does this. He doesn't use the computer or watch tv so not much to take away but I do get rid of toys and give timeouts, etc. My question is why is he continually turing this around to make ME the bad guy? I do not yell or anything yet he insists I am. I could whisper and he would tell meI am yelling. It is exhausting.
Michelle
My daughter has a 504 and they seem to be taking her needs more seriously than other kids who don't have one... but at the same time I do get some indifference. My daughter has notebooks and notebooks of short stories she has written and a child stole her notebook on Friday and tore all her stories out. They left a note stating "if you want your stories back you will meet me at locker #.... during 7th period." I spoke to the school guidance counselor about it today and she said that it could just be that the person that left the note knows where her stories are... or something to that effect and that maybe it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm waiting to see what kind of resolution comes of this because I don't feel she is taking my concerns seriously at all. I'm in the process of formulating my thoughts for a direct letter to the school.
Like many Aspie parent I too am frustrated. My son is 15 and has been the target of bullies for years. He's been told to "go play in traffic and to jump of a bridge". Kids are brutal to each other, but it seemed to be amplified where Christian is concerned. His worst bullying years were between the 6th and 8th grade. He had chairs pulled out from under him, drinks thrown on him and physically assaulted in gym class. I could see the toll that it was taking on my bright, beautiful boy. We got lip service from the school administrators, so I went to the school district and then to an IEP advocate. Needless to say, the school district has done a complete turn around. Now all students and teachers are educated on autism. Christian is still occassionaly bullied, but now other students are his advocates and turn in the bullies.
My son is 13 yr Aspergers, we have lived with Aspergers, autism and PDD our entire life and through out the family tree, very genetic. I am PDD nos. My son is provoked everyday, kids touch him, kick him say horrible things to him and then they blame my son when he reacts to it. Sometimes he just erupts and other times he asks them to stop and when they don't, so he hits them. Of course my son gets suspended and now the teachers want to expel him as they cant get him to act as a neuro-typical, but they gladly take the funding for an A-typical. They put him in these situations, do not monitor/supervise the other kids and allow for him to be taunted everyday. We told him to swing away if they harass him physically or verbally.Yes he will get suspended or expelled but he is so much happier when he does not have to bottle it up and just take it. Today we think he broke a boys nose after that boy provoked by kicking him in the back, I have to say that my son's gross motor skills are improving as he hit the mark today. I went through the same thing 30 years ago at school and nothing has changed in the school system, teachers are overpaid and ignorant against Autism Spectrum Disorders, they thinks its a disease and that it can be cured. Idiots the lot. That's the only way to deal with neuro-typicals, there a breed of their own.
It is sad to hear my child is not the only one being bullied. He is 9 now and we have been struggling with this since preschool. I am headed in to the school office tomorrow for an incident that occured last week. I am going in prepared though with black and white copies of the no bullying policy, the contact numbers for the american civil liberties union, the head guru for our school districts IEP/504 name and #, and our states dept. of education contact information as well. I will not have my son coming home begging to be home schooled "to avoid the bullies" EVER again!
Has anyone else been in a situation where the bullying is coming from the teacher and administration? We went through the whole process of attempting to move our children to another school and ended up moving to get our Aspie son into a school away from adults who had nothing better to do but bully our child and us. We are in a much better place now, but I am SO glad to have these ideas because, although middle school is still a few years away, now is the time to start implementing some of these ideas before more bullying actually happens. They might come in handy when my non-Aspie child starts middle school.
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