Married To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses
If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a ...
Comments
May 26 at 4:06pm · Like · 2 people
Karen Gomez Vega that is what she was saying i think-and i feel EXACTLY the way you do. you can not get help with out the "labels". my boys are very high functioning, so to some, it appears they are fine. i am proud of all the work they have done to get to this point because they were low functioning and only used sign language. it is amazing how cruel people can be. thanks for your response!
May 26 at 4:13pm · Like
David Lasee
I do not know if this will apply to your situation. I have noticed a that some parents with low functioning children are resentful of higher functioning kids diagnosis. My twins can "pass" as NT on good days. Some have implied my kids do not have autism because they can speak and have decent eye contact! Maybe it is a little like when people say African American's think someone is/isn't "black enough". Maybe my kids are not "Autistic enough" for some people.
Friday at 1:10pm · Like
Karen Gomez Vega i agree david-i think that may be part of her problem. thanks for your insight!
Friday at 3:51pm · Like
Zach Kieschnick
Ill tell you one thing Karen,,and I just lost a relationship to a woman with an aspie because of this. If you dont implement the right solutions, or worse, accept they will just be this way, you would be failing your child. Every child needs direction and aspies need twice as much. The work can be very intense and tiring for both parties. Its easy to misinterpret solutions or ideas as you being a bad parent, but in reality, the failure to implement solutions and ideas to help your child grow as a human being, that is the point where you would become a bad parent. Parents with aspies must be very understanding and thick skined when it comes to outside opinions on your childs care. My guess is, everyone would like to help.
4 hours ago · Like
Karen Gomez Vega THANKS Zach. I am sorry you lost a relationship-guess we are kinda in the same boat. It just totally shocked me that someone with special needs kids would think that getting continued help and diagnosis' for my children would be a negative thing. I have had several of our shared friends contact me to say that I am right to do what I am and I will not back down or apologize to anyone. Thank you for YOUR support! : )