How do you get teenagers with Aspergers to recognize that the social skills that you are trying to teach them (often to no avail) are imperative if they are to get on in life with regard to finding friends, a job etc.? Kids with Aspergers often seem in such a world of their own that they cannot appreciate the importance of those social skills. In our case, we have an adolescent who thinks that they are always right anyway and so see no need to modify their behavior.
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5 comments:
I really liked the article, and the very cool blog
In the middle of a meltdown my son told me, "mom it's your fault I don't have any friends. You gave me this". I had to DEFINE what a friend was and point out the people in his life that are his friends. Never dawned on me that he didn't know what a "friend" is! Then I told him a mother loves her child soooo much. They would never GIVE them something that made their life difficult but even though he has aspegers; if there was a cure tomorrow I wouldn't change a thing because it's part of WHO he is not what he is and he's delightful.
...and what to you do when a teen blames all of their frustrations on the Mom that is trying to support them?
Ignore it! It's not unusual for parents to be blamed by their Aspergers children for all that's gone wrong in the child's life. It's much easier to blame one's parents than to take any ownership of one's problems.
My son is only 10 & has been this way for the last four years with me, blaming me for everything he does wrong. His father, my ex-husband, walks on water in his mind, which is so hurtful to me. Unfortunately, his father also has Aspergers so he "relates" to my son better then I do, so my ex tells me....it just kills me to watch my son acting like dad who has been through 5 marriages and has no true friendships. I just want him to see that this is not how life has to be. He so desperately needs the social skills as he treats people like his father does, with very little respect. :(
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