Aspergers Children and Discipline Problems

Disciplining kids displaying behavior consistent with ASD (high-functioning autism) will often require an approach which is somewhat unique compared to that of other kids. Finding the balance between understanding the needs of a youngster with ASD and discipline which is age appropriate and situationally necessary is achievable when applying some simple but effective strategies. These strategies can be implemented both at home and in more public settings.
 
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Comments

Bulldogma said…
Good advice in general. I have had these issues when attempting to change my daughter's (with Asperger's) behavior.

May I please make a suggestion? While your linguistic gymnastics lend credit to your doctoral degree, your primary audience is Jane Shmoe Parent - not other doctors. You sound impressive, but I worry that by paragraph 2, many of your reader's eyes will have glazed over. You have pertinent and important information to share, so speak to the masses.

We cool? Carry on!
November 16, 2011 at 6:31 AM
Anonymous said…
A school psychologist had an interesting suggestion that we have used successfully in a couple situations: Simple Drawings. Example, my son got a ride home every day with my close friend. One day he decided to stop buckling up. It became a huge struggle. She was pregnant and it was difficult for her to get to the back row and do it for him. So on to the solution.....I sat down one day to draw a picture with the markers. I drew a very primitive stick picture of the inside of a van and my friend and the other kids all buckled in but frowning. My son was not buckled in the picture. He, as promised, was all over my shoulder looking at the picture, asking questions. I only spouted the facts. This is the van. These are the people. These are the seatbelts. Everyone is sad because you didn't buckle up. Then I left it at that and walked away. It worked. We did it in another instance and 2 days later, it also worked. Be sure to just say the facts!!!! Control your Momma impulse to launch into a big long explanation!!!! Good luck!
November 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
I'm having the same problem. I recently started bribing my son, it helped till the next issue came up. Don't know what else to do.
November 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
my kid only acts out at school. They are trying what they call the backyard approach.
November 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
This is a huge problem for me and my son also. Physical punishment is out of the question and taking away toys and much liked items is no longer a threat. Please someone help.
November 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
Rescue Remedy, several doses, as soon as things begin to start (we all know that moment.) This will help the child to breathe and come back to center.
November 16, 2011 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
I have the same problem with my son who is 9 and since he is the oldest it becomes a problem with the yiunger children as well. Its very very discouraging. No matter how patient or consistent you are nothing seems to sink in and people look at me like...
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
Im crazy. Having a child with issues like that is very challenging and for me personally its haard because I just feel like an awful mom.
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
I've been having the same problem with my 9-yr.-old daughter. Even though I clearly explain the consequences to her of not following directions and give her the opportunity to comply, she often doesn't--even though it means losing priviledges or treats.
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
I'm sure you're a good mom who's just doing the best she can. I often feel the same way, especially b/c family members will often comment that I just need to be more "firm" in disciplining my daughter. They refuse to see that she is not like the "average" child.
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
Our son is 14, and usually behaves well, but does act out around things like family meals or times when we have social expectations of him. It's embarrassing, and surprising, when we are with people outside of our family because that is the main time problems come up. We have been dealing with this his whole life and still we have NO good ideas. Usually we just let the moment pass, somewhat stunned, with maybe just a few words or a time out. But then we feel like terrible parents and we know others look at us like we are terrible, overly permissive parents to "put up with" this behavior from our son. Does anyone have ideas for this situation? It affects our younger, NT daughter as well.
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Anonymous said…
the backyard approach is where you praise them or tell them not to do something through someone else so they are not getting the attention they may be seeking. For instaance, when my samantha is disturbing others, they tell the class Let`s not disturb each other its time to see who can turn in the neatest class work and she will quit the behavior so far. Or they will say i cant believe how well sandy is being good and samantha will turn around and do what she is supposed to be doing. All without the attention being on her.
November 16, 2011 at 8:40 AM
Anonymous said…
One of the hardest things is NOT to assign intent. The child is NOT seeking attention, or having a mental dialog such as, "If I misbehave I won't have to confront this social situation." With asd there is seldom intent. The behavior is a simple reaction to stimulus, much like pulling the hand away from a hot stove- it's not something you think about, you just do. Same with the behaviors- unintentional reaction. Roleplay and modeling can help: if family dinner or dinner with company is too stimulating, politely thank everyone for their company before quietly taking the meal somewhere away from the group. Model similar situations as well, as people with asd think very literally and don't always translate one social situation to similar situations. A polite response to leaving a dinner table won't always be recognized as the same as politely leaving a conversation, or leaving slightly different social situations. Set your child up for success, even if modified expectations, and unwanted behaviors will diminish.
November 16, 2011 at 8:40 AM
Anonymous said…
i got an email from my childs teacher she is having a great day and responding to the backyard approach very well. She earned 5 chance cards and got her first reward. Now she is working towards her next five. Im so relieved and so proud of her.
November 16, 2011 at 9:51 AM
stephanie said…
Positive rewards related to my son's Star Wars obsession are how we motivate him to behave appropriately. I think this is wonderful information for family members/friends who may not understand how difficult and different it is to deal with our children.
November 16, 2011 at 2:54 PM
Anonymous said…
no but i saw a shirt today at www.stlciam.org in there gift shop (might have to call to order) that said something like, "Discipline doesn't erase Asperger's but thanks for your concern" They had a bunch of cool shirt i wanted to get for my aspies. Also "Eye contact is overrated". hang in there.
November 19, 2011 at 6:59 AM
Unknown said…
I use the methods that I have learned from the 3 children before. Each one had different issues so different things worked. This child I have tried everything on. I put him in his room and close the door, he tears up everything and throws things around the room. After he calms down I make him clean it up before he is allowed to come out. This is not working though, each and every time he still tears it up. He mouth is out of control, although he doesn't cuss he is very sassy,and demanding. He says thing downright hateful. Like 'GIVE ME A DRINK!' or "I'm not going to do it!" I don't know what to do. Reading about Asperger I think he might have a slight case of this. I know his brother whom was adopted by someone else has been diagnosed with this. I will have to do more research. Thank you everyone for sharing.
October 7, 2012 at 7:50 AM
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