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Are there any articles for fathers that can’t cope with the fact their children have Asperger’s...

Question

I was wondering if there are any articles for fathers that can’t cope with the fact their children have Asperger’s. I realise that our 2 children are on the spectrum but for 5 years now I cannot get him to deal with it and it is going to break us up.

Answer

It can be difficult for a parent to accept a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome or a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder or Autism. Parents, especially of young children, often do not want a diagnosis and they don’t want to acknowledge that certain behaviors are indicators that a child has Asperger’s. Parents often make excuses for their children and learn to work around their behaviors.

Coming to accept a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome can be a long process. Many parents have trouble thinking of their children as different. Some parents are relieved to finally understand why their child acts or reacts the way he does. But for those parents who have trouble coping with the diagnosis, you need to be patient and persistent.

If you realize that your children are exhibiting behaviors on the autism spectrum, it is in their best interest, as well as yours, to get a diagnosis soon. This means you will need to take them and have them evaluated. Speak to your husband before you do this to see if he agrees with taking this step and wants to participate with you. Encourage him listen to the doctor’s evaluation of your children’s situation. You both may be surprised by what the doctor has to say. It may also be necessary to consider having the children evaluated on your own if your husband does not want to participate.

Once you receive a diagnosis, it would be wise to talk with a therapist or counsellor who is skilled in helping families adapt to new situations such as this. Talking things through with a neutral third party can be very helpful for both you and your husband. Hopefully, this will bring you together so that you can begin to parent your children from the same point of view.

If you can come together and start to work together with the children, getting further advice on how to parent a child with Asperger’s can be helpful. Jeffrey Cohen has written a book entitled, “The Asperger Parent: How to Raise a Child with Asperger Syndrome and Maintain Your Sense of Humor.”

Jeffrey Cohen is the father of a child with Asperger’s Syndrome and he talks about what it’s like to parent his son. This book is full of humor and is easy to read. It can help you develop insights into your own parenting. It provides great information as well as emotional support.

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