Married To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses
If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a ...
Comments
Last night, three of us were in tears following meltdowns and tempers flaring. I have read many books on the boys struggles, taken them to therapists, they are medicated, and try to remain calm. In my opinion, the underlying problem is my husband's inability to parent differently to their needs. He's read nothing, rarely attends dr visits, yet announces during meltdowns that something needs to change in the house. He's suggested that we need to be more strict, spanking for backtalk or soap in mouth, rather than ignoring the bad and rewarding the good. I refuse, and I'm convinced it will only cause damage and not teach them WHY their behavior is inappropriate.
I should also mention that my husband is a loving dad, but has been preoccupied with his depression, diagnosed in January. He doesn't adapt to the boys changing emotions, and cannot see that he is JUST LIKE THEM. He has never good with change in his routine.
I'm feeling hopeless for a happy homelife...