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Asperger’s “Meltdowns” – First Hand Experience

Let me tell you about a “meltdown” that my son experienced. It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen, and it took us both days to recuperate. For some reason, he freaked out. He said it was because he didn’t have any red crayons, while all the while there were red crayons all around the house. Why red? It is his favorite color.

Anyway, to make a long story short, he laid on his bed for over an hour, crying and shouting that no one cared that he didn’t have any red crayons. I tried reasoning with him to no avail. I pointed out all of the red crayons in his room while he lay on his bed, tears streaming down his face, saying he had no red crayons. I was at my wits end and left him alone to see if he would be able to gain control of his emotions. I checked on him several times, but didn’t interfere. I know that the overwhelming emotions have to be played out for him to gain control.

I knew that his “meltdown” had nothing to do with red crayons. There was some underlying factor. It may have been something that happened at school that day, or it might have been something that happened a week or month previously. One never knows exactly what sparks an Asperger’s “meltdown”.

Finally, I voiced my opinion: “This is not about red crayons,” I told him. “What exactly is it about?” To my surprise he lifted his head off the bed and told me that he had been teased at school earlier in the day. I felt a thrill go through my body from head to toe. My son had actually identified what had caused the “meltdown.” This is something that Asperger’s kids have trouble doing -- and if they do know, they don’t know how to communicate their feelings.

I told him that it was excellent that he had told me what was causing his problem and offered to help him solve it in a positive way. He listened carefully as I told him what we would do to correct the actions of the child who had teased him. He accepted my solution and then fell asleep exhausted. There was no recurring “meltdowns” from this incident.

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•    Anonymous said... I've had the same experience with my, now 14 year old daughter. She would get fixated on something and say that was what she was upset about. Eventually I would find it always had to do with her frustations with children at school. I had a wake up call this summer when she was misbehaving... I asked how she could be so good at school and fall apart at home. She said, do you know how hard it is for me to hold it together at school?" I said no honey, I don't.
•    Anonymous said... luckily we now know how to bring her out of one.ADELE, she hears her voice and she smiles and starts singing.
•    Anonymous said... My 11 yo son has these types of melt downs the reasons have changed as he has gotten older. This summer it seems to be he is sorry he is not a good big brother and they always happen at work, it's so hard to reason with the inconsolable.
•    Anonymous said... Thank you for sharing this. Somehow, it makes me feel understood. My 9 year old Aspie has similar meltdowns
•    Anonymous said... thank you, I have shared this.
•    Anonymous said... Thank you. Ive experienced this with my little one. Triggers recently have been all the changes that come with summer.

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Anonymous said...

I have experienced this with my son!! Moments like this can be triggered by anything...

Anonymous said...

I can completey relate!!!! Great article and encouraging!! Do you ever find yourself afraid of saying the wrong thing or using the wrong words whne addressing these tantrums?? I do!

Anonymous said...

When my son was around three he had a meltdown. I didn't realize he had asperger's at the time but we were out of town and I think he was upset that I had led him outside away from the rest of the family during a wedding reception. He was screaming and a passerby who I didn't know came by and accused me of child abuse. I was floored by it. Told the person to mind her own business. She said she would be calling CPS on me.

Anonymous said...

My little guy really wanted to see a friend the same age as his older brother, but then was afraid of the friend being mean to him. I was so relieved to be able to talk out with him how to handle thee friend if tings came to be uncomfortab
le and that he would not play with the friend if he was mean. I discussed with the friend's mom as well our conversation so that she could re-instill on her side the way she deemed. It is so good/stressful to see my little guy learning to work out this or that choices to protect himself.
2 minutes ago · Like

Anonymous said...

My son is 15 and the meltdowns he has result in him getting very angry and the other day he threw the chopping board at me!..then the next day he had a bigger meltdown about his bike and pushed me ..i have called the police to him simply be
cause he is bigger than me and he wont listen to me ...just recently he came home with a dodgy home made seat on his bike..i said where is youre seat and he had swapped it for the dodgy one because he was once again took for a fool by his"friends" and they ripped him off..we try to explain what has happened but he is so happy to have "friends "..that he only listens to them ..we only managed to get him to get his expensive seat back because one of his "real friends told him he had been ripped off ..he didnt want to listen to us..does anyone else have these kind of issues with pretend friends?..its driving me nuts!!!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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