My ASD Child

"I know parents shouldn't punish a child for having a meltdown, but how do I know when it's a meltdown versus flat out bad attitude?" One of the most important things for parents to realize is that a meltdown is a trait of High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's. Because meltdowns can often look like tantrums, it's sometimes difficult to know what course of action to take. To make matters worse, a particular behavior may be meltdown-related on one occasion, but a simple tantrum on another occasion (e.g., the child may have a tantrum over a certain food item because it tastes "yucky," yet he or she acts-out in the same way over another food item due to a gustatory (i.e., taste) sensitivity. Children on the autism spectrum can avoid tantrums - but not meltdowns. The best parents can do is try to reduce the damage. Punishing a child for a meltdown is like punishing someone for swearing when they hit their thumb with a hammer. It won't d

"Are shutdowns actually avoidance behavior, in other words, the child is simply trying to get out of doing something uncomfortable? And how is it different than a meltdown? I'm not sure exactly where to draw the line between intentional and involuntary acts with my 10 y.o. (high-functioning) son." When it comes to dealing with a child who has High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's (AS), there aren't too many differences between meltdowns and shutdowns. Both are extreme reactions to everyday stimuli. Both tend to be the result of long-term unresolved issues rather than the more obvious triggers, and both are almost completely out-of-the-control of the youngster rather than being used as a means to an end (which would be either a tantrum or emotional blackmail). Some kids on the autism spectrum are more prone to meltdowns while others lean more towards the shutdown reaction. It's possible to do both, but this depends greatly on the root cause of the

“Why is there a general consensus that children on the autism spectrum (specifically on the high end) should not receive ‘traditional’ discipline that works with most other children? What am I missing here?” Traditional discipline may fail to produce the desired results for kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s, primarily because they are unable to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequently, punitive measures are apt to exacerbate the type of behavior the punishment is intended to reduce, while at the same time increasing the anxiety-level of the child. This paradox is due to some of the traits of the disorder, specifically the following: Executive dysfunction: An impairment in the higher-order processes that enable us to plan, sequence, initiate, and sustain our behavior towards some goal, incorporating feedback and making adjustments along the way. Theory of mind deficits: This is an inability to recognize that other people have thoughts, fee

Question I'm so frustrated! My 4 year old son was diagnosed with high-functioning autism last year, and for the year prior to that I was dealing with his overwhelming emotions. Now it seems like even if he's happy, he's too much for me. When he's not happy, he throws things, slams doors, screams, climbs furniture etc. So basically I have the same behaviors no matter how he's feeling. I fear the thought of going out anywhere with him. I have 4 other children, and he has drained everything I have inside me. I just don't know how to cope with him anymore. He is aggressive to the baby… I have to fight with him to change his clothes. I just feel like I've done all I can and now I'm back at square one again without the ability to do it again. Any advice on how to get through to him and calm him some? Answer For children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's, tantrums and meltdowns look similar in the behavioral sense, but have d

“I have two children, one age 4 - the other age 7. Both are on the autism spectrum (high functioning). The oldest is easily overwhelmed by even the smallest of problems, most of which can result in a meltdown depending on his general mood of the day (shirt is too tight, younger brother is too pesky, poor loser playing board games, hates the shower with a passion, and on and on we go). What are some things I can say or do to save him from getting so stressed out?” High-Functioning Autism is a developmental disorder that results in several ongoing challenges: (a) two-way social interaction, (b) verbal and nonverbal communication, (c) a reluctance to accept change, (d) inflexibility of thought, and (e) an all-absorbing narrow area of interest. Also, there is a range of severity of symptoms within the disorder (e.g., the very mildly affected youngster often goes undiagnosed and may just appear odd or eccentric). In general, kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s are h

“I would like to better understand my son, who is on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum. I want to understand how he thinks, how he interprets what is going on, and how his deficits cause problems. Thanks in advance!” This is a very good question, because a lot of parents of kids on the autism spectrum will rush into action before they have collected enough information and analyzed what is going on. If you do not know the reasons behind the behavior, you may very likely do the wrong thing. If you know what is going on, you can help things go better. Realizing that your son will not be a good observer of his behavior is your first step. The youngster with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger’s (AS) often does not know what to do in a situation. He does not know the appropriate behavior because he doesn't understand how the world works. Or, if he knows a better solution, he cannot use it because he becomes "stuck." ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns a

In an ideal world (which none of us will ever experience), your child’s educational experience would include the strategies listed below, all of which will optimize the potential for academic success – intellectually, emotionally and socially. Strategies that can guarantee the success of kids with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS) include the following: 1.  In an ideal world, the HFA or AS youngster’s school has an extensive, in-depth knowledge of autism spectrum disorders (e.g., principal, vice principal, dean, teachers, administration staff, etc.). This guarantees that whoever has contact with your youngster in the course of the school day is aware of his or her needs and understands that the disorder is neurobiological in nature – and not a behavioral issue. So, ask what specific training the staff at your youngster’s school has had, and check that this is updated regularly. This is particularly relevant for your child’s classroom teacher. If no specific trai

As parents of kids with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA), we are all familiar with the enigma of their unequal reaction to pain and injury. A stubbed toe or paper cut may set off a pain response (e.g., crying, screaming, and sobbing) such as is equaled by the loss of a limb, yet a burst ear drum or broken limb may go seemingly unnoticed. Parents of children on the autism spectrum are often bewildered by this unequal response to pain stimuli. Anecdotal evidence from clients worldwide is full of reports on this topic. So, what's the answer to this confusing puzzle? The questions surrounding these kid's unequal response to pain can be explained scientifically. The assumption that, physiologically, humans are equipped to limit the amount of stimuli entering our brains thereby preventing the brain from becoming overloaded, has led to the establishment of a 'normal' range of feeling. However, those with an autistic spectrum disorder are recognized a