Aspergers Children and Encopresis

Question

I have my 12 yr old Grandson living with my husband and I, It isn't easy because his mother had to leave him with us for awhile. We are implementing your assignments in your book, it hasn't been easy but we are making significant headway. One thing that bothers us more than his behavior is him soiling his pants. I don’t know why and I have tried asking him why he does but all he says is he doesn`t know. I know that maybe he doesn`t know why but it is hard for my husband to understand how he can let it sit in his pants without a care. When my husband addresses this with my grandson he is confronted with a complete shutdown, he won`t look at him, answer him. I understand why he does but when I approach him on it, I will ask if he soiled his pants his first reaction is to tell me no he did not do it. Then I ask to check his pants, when I do I can see it and at that point I calmly ask him to get some clean clothes go to the bathroom have a shower and I make him clean out his shorts. He does this almost every day and when we noticed he didn`t do it that one day we praise him to no end. I don`t know what I can do to help him stop or why it happens in the first place. I would appreciate any comments as to how I can help him get over this. My grandson isn`t the easiest to handle when he gets to upset he is 12 at 6` tall and 230lbs so having an easy approach would be greatly appreciated.


Click here for my response...

Comments

Anonymous said…
A wheat free diet also helps tremendously.
July 14, 2011 at 9:16 AM
mom said…
I'm in the same position with my 12y.o. son who also is on the edges of the autism spectum with psych. analysis suggesting NLD. He has been disgnosed with encopresis and we are using miralax daily per his dr's advice. This is not the first time we're going though this---in fact it's hard to think of a time when these accidents weren't occuring and we weren't seeking help. It's very hard for a 12 year old to constantly have "bathroom issues" when he's very shy anyway and it's so hard for parents to watch and grill him on the shape, consistency and frequency of his bm's and ask if he's "soiled". This is awful for him at school, too It's so humiliating for him. I feel we need help with the "whole child" aspect of this problem-not just the cleaning out. I don't know where to go for this or how to do it without mortifying my child.
August 30, 2011 at 11:36 PM
mom said…
I'm in the same position with my 12y.o. son who also is on the edges of the autism spectum with psych. analysis suggesting NLD. He has been disgnosed with encopresis and we are using miralax daily per his dr's advice. This is not the first time we're going though this---in fact it's hard to think of a time when these accidents weren't occuring and we weren't seeking help. It's very hard for a 12 year old to constantly have "bathroom issues" when he's very shy anyway and it's so hard for parents to watch and grill him on the shape, consistency and frequency of his bm's and ask if he's "soiled". This is awful for him at school, too It's so humiliating for him. I feel we need help with the "whole child" aspect of this problem-not just the cleaning out. I don't know where to go for this or how to do it without mortifying my child.
August 30, 2011 at 11:37 PM
SteveLA said…
This is the most difficult issue with our 'Aspy'. She is 11 years old, bright, beautiful, and so funny. But she sill has this issue. Are there surgical approached to this that have had success? we've tried everything everyone else has mentioned. We are getting her a colonoscopy next week, and another child in her class had a similar condition, which was solved by surgery according to her principal.

Thanks
March 22, 2012 at 2:04 PM
Anonymous said…
My son is 12 and has the same soiling issues asd I'm aspergers and have suffered the same problem since I was young all I can say is from my experience is the feel of going is really horrible so holding it in is a better option so I can kind of understand my son and unfortunately everything has been tried with him nothing's worked I find with me as well I can't use the toilet if people are about - surgey is so drastic no
September 9, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Twinky03 said…
Unfortunately, my 12 yr old son is a mild Aspie & we are having this same struggle we have tried everything. Like others I can't recall not dealing with this awful issue. Reading this does offer me some encouragement & I don't feel like the only one going through this nightmare.
April 7, 2013 at 10:07 AM
Armywife said…
We've been dealing with this problem in our 9yo since he potty trained 6 years ago. He's seen multiple peds GI docs, OTs, and psychologists - and even had a colonoscopy & barium swallow. All resources and docs I've seen give the same advice - high fiber diet, bowel clean out, daily laxatives, then gradually wean the laxatives, then voila! Problem solved, right? Wrong! How exactly do you give an autistic kid a high fiber diet when he only eats about 10 items and would rather starve than try anything new? Seems to me that this is a rampant problem among autism/Aspy kids and no one has studied a real or reasonable solution. My heart breaks knowing some day he'll be bullied for smelling like crap at school.
May 28, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Unknown said…
I've got a 15-year-old with the same issues. He sits and plays games for hours (becoming violent if taken away) and soils himself. Sometimes, 2-3 times in a non-school day.

He has done it at church - which is a horrible place to have this happen - and I have had to rescue him at least twice from school when he has had incidents.

We did the gastro and psych routes, and no response. Giving him laxatives just makes it worse. Counseling got too expensive and was not helping with this issue. Money rewards do not work.

The kid likes sweets and dairy, but he overeats anything we have, so we don't keep the fridge stocked. He will drink a 2-liter coke in no time; if I buy little debbies for lunches, they are gone in an afternoon.

I tried locking up the food, but he figured out how to prize the chest open on the side to get at the sweets.

We even tried diapers, but he just started urinating in them as well as soiling himself.

I'm furious; he has ruined his $1500 bed, as well as $2000 couch with his accidents. He takes a shower and leaves his droppings there. And, he swears up and down that he "sat in something" but we can clearly see what has happened.

ON top of that, he won't wash his clothes as directed, and then he comes and steals MY underwear to wear.
December 9, 2013 at 3:43 AM
Bleh said…
I understand this thread is old but I have 8 yr old twin boys. The oldest was diagnosed with encropreses 4 yrs ago and was just diagnosed last week with aspergers and adhd. This whole time his mother, my fiance, has been telling me that the doctor told her that there was no cure and that the only thing we could do is supply suppositories every few days and that he will be dealing with the encroprese every day for the rest of his life. It was just a few months ago that he started acting out causing me or his mother having to go pick him up from daycare. It was at that point when we decided to go get him evaluated and checked for adhd and aspergers. Now his brother is the complete opposite. Healthy, thick but solid boy. It is affecting him as well to the point where he really doesn't spend much time with his older brother. I am at my wits end and so is his mother who has all but given up. But now from reading all this I am guessing that if I start giving the suppositories everyday maybe it will be enough to boost his ego after having less frequent accidents. Sorry for all rhis but this has been the first time I have felt brave enough to say anything especially after finding out this problem may be able to be resolved. Thank you.
August 25, 2014 at 7:53 PM
Unknown said…
I have the same problem with my 8 year old Aspergers daughter. Giving her culturrel and probiotics made a tremendous difference
May 18, 2016 at 6:46 AM
Unknown said…
I have 11 year old daughter diagnosed with high functioning autism. She's never been poos on the toilet. At afe 8 she started doing wees on the toilet. She's fully aware of when she is about to go and waits until she can poo in her undies then clean up. So stressful. She's had laxatives for 6 years. No luck. I really am at a loss about this.
June 24, 2018 at 3:32 PM
Unknown said…
Thank you so much for sharing, its extremely helpful. Its so sad and interesting that the feeling of "going" is so awful for you. I've always wondered if that is the case for my 11 year old. I really appreciate your comment.
June 24, 2018 at 3:44 PM
Rosemary Babcock said…
My 11 yr old has Asperger's and encopresis. I finally gave up on regular underwear and he uses overnight pants. The doctor has prescribed miralax and it helps but we haven't solved the issue yet. It's very obvious my son has large stools, so his colon is stretched. He will sometimes have excruciating stomach pains because of it. ImI such a busy single mother, it is a struggle to keep up with potty rules and miralax because no one else like the school nurse wants to keep it up. They think he should be able to do it because he is very smart and old enough. No one seems to understand his struggles. He always pees in the toilet, but doesn't always poo in it. He has leakage pretty much every day. So we're still working on the regularity thing. It does make me feel less alone knowing that this is common for high functioning autistic children.
October 14, 2018 at 7:33 AM
Anonymous said…
This thread is quite old. However, I had this problem as a child / teen and believe I have Aspergers and ADHD but was never diagnosed. For me this issue was anxiety related. I believe that an ADHD medication or anxiety medication would have helped. As it was, I overcame the issue on my own due to private shame. Went to great lengths to hide it, too.
May 8, 2020 at 9:23 PM
Anonymous said…
My son is 11, has had encopresis all his life and has been in counseling for years. We thought he was retaining because he suffered the trauma of finding his dad deceased, but now we are thinking aspbergers. How can we get him out of pullups and using the toilet to poo? I fear he will be made fun of when he goes to middle school this year and get depressed or worse. He is self punishing and hates when we ask him if he soiled, but we need help to resolve this issue
July 25, 2022 at 9:20 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Telltale Signs of ASD Level 1 [High-Functioning Autism]: A Comprehensive Checklist

Image
Below you will find the majority of symptoms associated with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), also referred to as Asperger’s. The HFA child will not usually have all of these traits. We will look at the following categories: sensory sensitivities, cognitive issues, motor clumsiness, narrow range of interests, insistence on set routines, impairments in language, and difficulty with reciprocal social interactions. Sensory Sensitivity Checklist— 1. Difficulty in visual areas: Avoids eye contact Displays discomfort/anxiety when looking at certain pictures (e.g., the child feels as if the visual experience is closing in on him) Engages in intense staring Stands too close to objects or people 2. Difficulty in auditory areas: Covers ears when certain sounds are made Displays an inability to focus when surrounded by multiple sounds (e.g., shopping mall, airport, party) Displays extreme fear when unexpected noises occur Fearful of the sounds particular objects make ...
Read more

Raising Aspergers Children: Symptoms and Parenting Strategies

Image
Aspergers (high functioning autism) is a developmental disorder falling within the autistic spectrum affecting two-way social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication and a reluctance to accept change, inflexibility of thought and to have all absorbing narrow areas of interest. Individuals are usually extremely good on rote memory skills (facts, figures, dates, times etc.) many excel in math and science. There is a range of severity of symptoms within the syndrome, the very mildly affected youngster often goes undiagnosed and may just appear odd or eccentric. While Aspergers is much more common than Autism it is still a rare condition and few people, including professionals, will know about it much less have experience of it. It seems to affect more boys than girls. In general terms they find making friends difficult, not understanding the subtle clues needed to do so. They often use language in a slightly odd way and take literal meanings from what is read or heard. They ...
Read more

Married To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses

Image
If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a ...
Read more