I suspect that my 20-year-old son (still living at home) may have Aspergers. Should he get an official diagnosis – or is it better to not know so he doesn’t get labeled?
Answer
A lot will depend on how well your son is functioning in daily life. If he is not experiencing any major problems in relationships or employment, it may not be important to get an actual diagnosis of Aspergers. However, an official diagnosis is necessary if he needs to apply for social benefits at some point (e.g., Social Security Disability, Vocational Rehabilitation). Note that the diagnosis of Aspergers alone will not qualify him for services. He will also need to be diagnosed with some disabling co-morbid condition that affects his ability to function in the work or home environment.
Despite the fact that functioning in a “normal” world can be very difficult for Aspies, a diagnosis of Aspergers does not mean the individual is unable to learn to function, especially if he is fortunate enough to have people in his life that provide the support he needs.
Getting an official diagnosis can be useful if your son needs accommodations in order to perform tasks, or deal with the environment, in an employment situation. Such accommodations may include alternative ways of communicating, a more isolated space, breaks, etc.
On the other hand, if your son is having considerable difficulty with relationships, especially with regards to understanding other’s perspectives, then investigating whether or not he has Aspergers may be important. He may need to (a) explore what it is he expects and needs from relationships and (b) learn how to advocate for what he wants in a non-demanding manner. If he decides to seek help in this regard, he should be sure that the diagnostician has experience with -- and is accepting of -- Aspergers differences.
Who should you contact?
Psychologists or neuropsychologists will arrive at a diagnosis through testing. This can be helpful if your son is looking for more information on areas of learning strength and differences. A neuropsychologist looks at neurological and psychological issues. This type of assessment can provide helpful information, but only if the psychologist or neuropsychologist is familiar with neurological differences associated with Aspergers. Otherwise, the report is not likely to provide an accurate picture of your son that he can relate to and use.
A psychiatrist will often diagnose the client after getting a history and talking with you and your son (or others who know your son). A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can prescribe medication that may be helpful in dealing with comorbid conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, etc.).
The choice should always be left up to your son as to whether or not he wants to try medication. Medication can have side effects he will need to be aware of. Be aware that psychotropic medications (e.g., antidepressants) ) must never be stopped suddenly, and long-term use can sometimes result in a form of tics. Your son always has the choice of trying natural supplements that have a similar influence on brain chemistry. Unfortunately the manufacturers of supplements are unregulated, so his doctor probably won’t support their use, and his insurance is not going to cover their cost.
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9 comments:
if you know he will recievve services through the state to care for him...if not, you wont...
its better he knows so he can understand himself
My advice is to read all you can learn all you want shut the book & continue with your lives. At 14 years old my daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers during many years of assessments & diagnostics I came to realise that I may too have Aspergers, but ïm married have children, hold a full time job managing 30 people, so with a little understanding & a lot of patience a 'normal' life can be had. Good luck with your decision x
Learn all you can about the disorder and then follow your instincts...it can be overwhelming..there will be those times when you get conflicting advise.
i hate this whole "fear of labeling" thing. don't you want your son to not be discriminated against for the simple fact of people not understanding WHY he is different? i have a friend who is 42, recently diagnosed and that diagnosis is the only thing that saved him from being fired from his job of 10 years...that he is EXCEPTIONALLY skilled at. he was being reprimanded for his interpersonal "issues". i KNEW he had aspergers (as does my son). he went from almost fired to promoted. once HR UNDERSTOOD why he had problems in the areas he does. not to mention that RELIEF for him, personally. he has felt "broken" his whole life and not understood why. i strongly suggest getting a proper diagnosis, looking into occupational therapy and facilitating the best life possible for your son.
At 20 years of age it would be important to permit him autonomy- to identify himself - or not. This can be handled through a therapist familiar with ASD - as a 3rd person outside of the parents will be more neutral. A therapist can also provide family therapy and help facilitate services too. This frees the parents for their important role of supporting their son holistically and unconditionally w/o being the target of anger or frustration or "bad guy" in the process of emotions that may arise. Following up with the services of a life coach may also help. good luck and blessings for success.
Personally, I would find out. The more we can learn about ourselves the better. And he will have a family some day and will need tools to cope with that. Don't shy away from anything. And as far as labelling goes?? Everyone is labelled somehow, whether u may be blonde, male, female, fat, thin, rich, poor. Never be ashamed. It brings strength. Good luck and god speak. Xx
i am 41 and have aspergers, trust me the worst thing you can do is get them officicially disgnosed. its a label for life and makes it VERY DIFFICULT to find a job. i have been medically signed of for the last 5 years because my doctor, who is very understanding, could see how depressing it was for me going to multiple job interviews and getting no where at all.
I was officially diagnosed at 32 and did it mainly for acknowledgement that I wasn't just a 'freak' I have found it too be useful though as I have been able to use it to explain better to people why I cannot do somethings or why they are more difficult for me or for a little extra help or support such as my uni tutor doesn't expect me to attend the group tutorials (I'm studying from home)
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