HELP FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH ASPERGER'S & HIGH-FUNCTIONING AUTISM

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders

Search MyAspergersChild.com

List of Aspergers Characteristics

Question

Would you have a complete list of characteristics found in people with Aspergers?

Answer

Below is a fairly exhaustive list of Aspergers characteristics; however, keep in mind that no two Aspies are the exactly the same, and no single Aspie has ALL these traits. If you suspect your child or partner has Aspergers, the best thing you can do, as a parent or spouse, is arm yourself with information about this disorder.

Personal / Physical—

• Being "in their own world"
• Can engage in tasks (sometimes mundane ones) for hours and hours
• Can spend hours in the library researching, loves learning and information
• Clumsiness
• Collects things
• Doesn't always recognize faces right away (even close loved ones)
• Early in life they often have a speech impediment
• Eccentric personality
• Excellent rote memory
• Flat, or blank expression much of the time
• Highly gifted in one or more areas (e.g., math, music, etc.)
• Idiosyncratic attachment to inanimate objects
• Intense focus on one or two subjects
• Likes and dislikes can be very rigid
• Limited interests
• May have difficulty staying in college despite a high level of intelligence
• Non-verbal communication problems
• Difficulty reading body language, facial expression and tone
• Preoccupied with their own agenda
• Repetitive routines or rituals
• Sensitivity to the texture of foods
• Single-mindedness
• Speech and language peculiarities (hyperlexia)
• Strong sensitivity to sound, touch, taste, sight, and smell (e.g., fabrics, won’t wear certain things, fluorescent lights)
• Uncoordinated motor movements
• Unusual preoccupations
• Word repetition (they may frequently repeat what you've just said)

Social Interactions—

• Can obsess about having friends to prove they’re “normal”
• Desire for friendships and social contact but difficulty acquiring and maintaining them
• Difficulty understanding others’ feelings
• Great difficulty with small-talk and chatter
• Has an urge to inform that can result in being blunt or insulting
• Lack of empathy at times
• Lack of interest in other people
• May avoid social gatherings
• Preoccupied with their own agenda
• Rigid social behavior due to an inability to spontaneously adapt to variations in social situations
• Shuts down in social situations
• Social withdrawal

In Relationships (mainly pertains to Aspergers men)—

• Can often be distant physically and/or emotionally
• Can stop putting any effort into relationship after a time, and doesn’t understand why she then stops giving too
• He can be very critical and takes it personally if she won’t wear something he likes, or wears something he dislikes
• He can become quite defensive when she asks for clarification or a little sympathy; the defensiveness can turn into verbal abuse (usually not physical abuse) as the man attempts to control the communication to suit his view of the world
• He has a hard time saying “I love you,” showing physical affection; as a result it is difficult to find out if they do love you
• He will do what he thinks is best for the both of them but seldom talks to her about her feelings or opinions
• His attention is narrowly focused on his own interests
• If she tries to share her love for him, he may find her need to “connect” smothering
• Men with undiagnosed Aspergers often feel as if their partner is being ungrateful or “bitchy” when she complains he is uncaring or never listens to her
• Often are attracted to another purely because they are attracted to him
• Often times they will make no motions to keep a relationship going (be it friendship, or something more)
• They won't call, and you might not see them for days; that doesn't mean they don't care

Positive Aspergers Traits—

1. Attention to detail – sometimes with painstaking perfection.

2. Focus and diligence – has an ability to focus on tasks for a long period of time without needing supervision or incentive is legendary.

3. Higher fluid intelligence – scientists in Japan have recently discovered that Aspergers kids have a higher “fluid intelligence” than non-Aspergers kids. Fluid intelligence is the ability to find meaning in confusion and solve new problems. It is the ability to draw inferences and understand the relationships of various concepts, independent of acquired knowledge. Experts say that those with Aspergers have a higher than average general IQ as well.

4. Honesty – the value of being able to say “the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.”

5. Independent, unique thinking – people with Aspergers tend to spend a lot of time alone and will likely have developed their own unique thoughts as opposed to a ‘herd’ mentality.

6. Internal motivation – as opposed to being motivated by praise, money, bills or acceptance. This ensures a job done with conscience, with personal pride.

7. Logic over emotion – although people with Aspergers are very emotional at times, they spend so much time ‘computing’ in our minds that they get quite good at it. They can be very logical in their approach to problem-solving.

8. Visual, three-dimensional thinking – some with Aspergers are very visual in their thought processes, which lends itself to countless useful and creative applications.

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have to confessed that I am completely devastated. The love and hate feeling is really tearing me apart. We live in Brisbane. We are not effected. The flood really make me see love and humanity around the town when people helping each other. It also made me feel so bad that my son is a rock and no heart.

His asperger is getting worse. Totally not interest in other and stay in his room to do his computer program. No future, no hope, no love and no career. His finger nails are almost 20mm long. I cannot stand it. I melt down.

I told myself I only have 3 years to go. The pyscharist prescribed him medicine. He cheated and does not take it. Psycharist suggested him to take a part time work so he can learn to mixed with the same peer group. It would be a challenge. He is taking the advange that I am legally need to look after him and it is my problem that he does not go to school. He is always holding me ramsom. I told him that this is my house and he need to follow my rule. I only need to give him mininal. I do not need to give him computer and internet. If he run away from home, I just need to reort to the police. I would not put any effort to find him. If he did not change and he will be kick out when he is 18.

He is taking advantage of his asperger.

I think I need to seperate with the family. I am running into depression. I do not want to see him.

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I am so sorry... You sound overwhelmed and so sad. My first thought is perhaps you need some support. Are there any support groups for Aspergers parents in your area? If so, please reach out to them, or perhaps a counselor or trusted friend or family member.

There have been times that I have cried at night wondering what to do and how to understand my own son. I find comfort in reading the articles here knowing that what he says and does is not so unusual in many cases. Nevertheless, there are still times that I also feel overwhelmed and sometimes even resentful. I think these feelings are normal sometimes.

Please get some support. Your feelings and mental and emotional health are important.

Michael Rider said...

From experience as one with aspergers myself. I would say your son needs a true genuine friendship from someone. You yelling at him all the time isn't going to much good. Whatever you do this must be a true friendship. If he even senses one bit of deceit he will probably never trust that person or you again ever. Don't think we can't sense a snake in the grass when people are trying to get something they want. We are all to used to being hurt that way and treated like dirt.If you do that will be an extreme betrayal of trust ,and we do not tolerate lying easily and most will never forgive it.

Danny Boy said...

I have never received a professional diagnosis, but I (and others) have been suspecting (very strongly) that I have Aspergers. I took the Aspie Quiz after it was suggested by an acquaintance and got a high score on the neurodiverse side, but very low on the neurotypical side. I have also discovered (and continue to discover) that people around me have either suspected I have Aspergers or have at least thought there was something weird about me.
I have recently befriended someone who has actually been diagnosed with Aspergers and he (without me knowing it) tried using the same technique that his psychiatrist used on him to determine if I have Aspergers and he is quite certain that I have it. Anyway, he has dealt with having Aspergers on top of having narcolepsy which has basically resulted in him being tired of worrying about social norms to where he now for the most part doesn't care what he says. He's tired of people trying to change his behavior through clandestine attempts at behavioral conditioning. Last night, he told me that he was actually told by one of the people trying to condition him that they are trying to break his "arrogance." I have done some reading and that appears to be a common accusation made by neurotypicals against Aspies.
Just yesterday, I was accused of being arrogant when I refused to treat what I know to be fact as an opinion.

Joseph the Apostle Evans said...

My name is Joseph Evans, and I have Asperger's syndrome too,... and I'm 17 years of age. I'm about to turn 18 in a couple of months, and fear that I would wonder how I can step out in the real world, including with dating or marriage, without anyone stepping out on me. When I was a baby, I was diagnosed with autism... for an unknown reason or explanation. I'm now in 11th grade, and trying hard to get my grades up in one class. I, too, stick to one subject, which is to say "music", and want to become a musician, music producer, and possible DJ when I finally get a job. However, I have no idea as to how I'm going to fit in with society here, let alone society in the whole world, nor do I have any idea on how to keep a gf/wife later on. Plus, I have trouble with trying to obey, if not cooperate, with adults, like my mother or teachers in high school. Another trouble-area of mine is learning when to control my anger; and I lash out far beyond a normal societal limit. If u could comment back as to what I can do or what specialists I should see, that would be very appreciative of u, thx for ur time, and God bless u.

Joseph the Apostle Evans said...

My name is Joseph Evans, I'm 17 years old, and I'm an autistic. I have Asperger's syndrome, and have a few problems with trying to fit in school, let alone in society. My main skill (if not, constant task) is music, I'm alone most of the time, and I tend to lash out and feel enraged. I also have trouble with obeying, if not cooperating, with adults, like parents or teachers. Also, I want a relationship with a girlfriend, but don't know how I can hold on to that special someone I would c later on in life without her walking out on me. If u could message me back a comment as to what I should do (plz), that would be very appreciative of u. Thx for your time, and God bless u. 😇😇

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually. Thus, the best treatment for Aspergers children and teens is, without a doubt, “social skills training.”

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens

Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions

Parenting children with Aspergers and HFA can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Living with an Aspergers Spouse/Partner

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%. Why so high!? The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships. People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered, vain individuals.

Click here to read the full article…

Online Parent Coaching for Parents of Asperger's Children

If you’re the parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you know it can be a struggle from time to time. Your child may be experiencing: obsessive routines; problems coping in social situations; intense tantrums and meltdowns; over-sensitivity to sounds, tastes, smells and sights; preoccupation with one subject of interest; and being overwhelmed by even the smallest of changes. The hardest part is you feel like you’ll never actually get to know your child and how he/she views the world.

Click here to read the full article...

My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content