Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders


Are Aspergers Children Too Smart For Their Own Good?

One parent's search for answers to a particularly distressing school situation led her to characterize the plight of her 9-year-old Aspergers son like this: "The good news is he's bright, and the bad news is he's bright!"

This revealing description makes a sadly accurate statement about an educational system that not only fails to understand the Aspergers (high functioning autistic) youngster – it also fails to recognize that such understanding is in fact necessary if positive change is to occur. An analysis of what this parent meant by her statement gives one a window on the sometimes bizarre world of Aspergers.

In most disorders, a descriptor like "high functioning" is an excellent indicator of potential success – thus, the good news. How then can intelligence be considered bad news? The answer to this question lies in the paradoxical nature of Aspergers itself.

Kids with Aspergers are cognitively intact (i.e., they possess normal, if not above-average intelligence). This creates an expectation for success. Furthermore, the pursuit of their restricted range of interests and activities often results in (a) the amassing of impressive facts, and (b) an expertise beyond their years. This is a potential problem!

Given their enormous strengths and the expectations that they generate – and given the fact that intelligence is a highly-prized trait in our culture – the intellectual prowess in Aspergers children virtually eclipses the social-emotional deficits that are at the heart of the unusual behavior associated with Aspergers. Unmindful of their neurologically-based weaknesses, parents and teachers get blinded by the strengths of these kids. This situation inevitably leads to a mind-set that can be summed up as follows: "If he is that smart, shouldn't he know better?" The answer to that question is a resounding "no". In fact, because of the social-emotional deficits, as well as the presence of symptoms unique to the Aspergers condition, these kids cannot "know better" until they are “taught” to know and understand.

Consequently, in order to create a hospitable environment for kids with Aspergers in a world that is often inhospitable to their needs, it s vital that parents and teachers employ direct teaching strategies to address the following specific areas:
  • Executive dysfunction (i.e., problems in organizational skills/planning) 
  • Perspective-taking 
  • Problem solving 
  • Reading/language comprehension 
  • Socio-communicative understanding and expression

Together, these target areas constitute a kind of “life-skills curriculum” for the more able youngster/student. Their inclusion in the youngster's Individualized Education Program (IEP)) can help to ensure that each of these important skill areas gets the attention it deserves. After all, life skills are far too important to be left to chance!

The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook


Anonymous said...

Thank You!! It's so nice to hear support like this. I'm a single mom of an 8-year old Asperger's Child (Boy) and I appreciate you recognizing the work mom's do!!

Anonymous said...

Great article, many thanks, so true.

Anonymous said...

One of the best bits of advice I ever got on parenting was this, "Love them, love them, love them!" I like to have a plan, I like things cut and dry, I like things structured - and was dismayed to discover how often these things did not fit into the real-life raising of a child with Asperger's where there is so much unknown and uncharted! After initial research and all the conflicting information out there, I decided to fully embrace that love advice - it was the one thing I could keep constant. No matter what kind of day we've had, not matter what the current issue is, my daughter ends each night with no doubt as to my complete love for her and accepting of her. I show my love to her by reading her wonderful stories and commenting on her amazing drawings, I show love to her by keeping my voice calm and gentle when reminding her three times of the one task I have asked her to do, I show love by not complaining about her need for the same sandwich at bedtime EVERY night and kissing her when I bring it to her, I show love to her by not allowing her to self-absorb in an electronic game by setting the timer for her to alert her to the time, etc. And I tell her a million times a day that I love her, that I am proud of her, I tell her when she has expressed her feelings really well, I thank her for joining into the conversation and tell her what I liked about her comments. All these things add up to success, because if my child is filled up with love and acceptance - she will have what she needs to work hard and succeed in anything.

-T. Ruby

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the words of encouragement! Parenting is a challenging job in itself--but adding a disability of any kind intensifies the job! My 14 year old son with Aspergers is amazing in so many ways--but I'm exhausted keeping ahead of him to ensure he'll succeed. I also have two other sons, and their needs are important, too. Reading this today brought tears to my eyes as I don't often look at it that way--often I feel like I can't keep up. My husband also has Aspergers, and he does what he can. Thanks again!

Anonymous said...

It is so nice to have 'someone' say you are doing okay!!

Anonymous said...

Being a single mum of a highly intelligent 13 year old son with Asperger's and his 11 year old brother is completely exhausting and my confidence continually fluctuates between 'soaring' and plunging to the deepest depths! Not to be helped by a recent 'ex' (that I suspect may have attributes himself) who continually criticizes and does nothing!

Anonymous said...

I completely empathize with all the other mothers out there, and know that the ONLY thing that pulls us through is our love for our children.

Anonymous said...

I am continually in awe and love the exceptional young person that my son is, and am certain he will impact on the world in such a wonderful way as an adult!

sahm2adam said...

Yes, Love is so needed by our kids. I have a 13 yr old son with aspergers, although he does not ever want to hear anything is wrong with him. It's everybody else who has the problem. He is constantly baffled why he he constantly gets yelled at by his teachers, has no friends and gets picked on. He never wants to be corrected or given help, he will just yell "I'm perfect, I'm a good boy, why does everyone hate me??" It breaks my heart in pieces. He is so logical and he will not refrain from challenging his teachers and it makes them crazy. Everytime I bring up taking him to see someone for help, he goes ballistic. If we do go, he sits there and refuses to talk. I just don't know what to do anymore. any tips for a frustrated mom?

maigc said...

Hello there My name is Peter Caspian And My brother had have very very mild Aspergers and Aspergers Is not a bad thing or the end of the world Aspergers Is A gift a gift of Wonders of being smart/funny/creative/nice/ thats the stuff what aspergers mean but You need to Be nicer to them like treating them as if they were a king to you They can be sad sometimes or if there some thing wrong you cannot see it in them So ask He/she to come over for a cookie for a talk and ask what is wrong It is not their fault for aspergers dont be mean to them

Anonymous said...

Good article, i think the main problem is when people think of intelligence they only think of " mathematical intelligence" and don't understand there are different types of it like emotional intelligence etc. Having good grades or being good at math doesn't make you smart.

Kato said...

"'If he is that smart, shouldn't he know better?' The answer to that question is a resounding 'no'. In fact ... these kids cannot 'know better' until they are 'taught' to know and understand."

That about sums up my life. ;)

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens

Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Aspergers Children “Block-Out” Their Emotions

Parenting children with Aspergers and HFA can be a daunting task. In layman’s terms, Aspergers is a developmental disability that affects the way children develop and understand the world around them, and is directly linked to their senses and sensory processing. This means they often use certain behaviors to block out their emotions or response to pain.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Living with an Aspergers Spouse/Partner

Research reveals that the divorce rate for people with Aspergers is around 80%. Why so high!? The answer may be found in how the symptoms of Aspergers affect intimate relationships. People with Aspergers often find it difficult to understand others and express themselves. They may seem to lose interest in people over time, appear aloof, and are often mistaken as self-centered, vain individuals.

Click here to read the full article…

Online Parent Coaching for Parents of Asperger's Children

If you’re the parent of a child with Aspergers or High-Functioning Autism, you know it can be a struggle from time to time. Your child may be experiencing: obsessive routines; problems coping in social situations; intense tantrums and meltdowns; over-sensitivity to sounds, tastes, smells and sights; preoccupation with one subject of interest; and being overwhelmed by even the smallest of changes.

Click here to read the full article...

Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Parents, teachers, and the general public have a lot of misconceptions of Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism. Many myths abound, and the lack of knowledge is both disturbing and harmful to kids and teens who struggle with the disorder.

Click here to read the full article...

My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content