My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
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Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens
Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
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Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.
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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
2 comments:
nice post. thanks.
I'm 23 (24 at the end of June) and have Asperger Syndrome. Here are some more examples of rigid thinking in people on the Autism Spectrum:
Jane's dad said he would pick her up at 3:00, but he actually arrives at 2:59. Jane is very upset that her dad did not come to pick her up at the exact time he said he would, and lets him know how upset she is. Jane is on the Autism Spectrum. Like many people on the spectrum, Jane's thinking is very literal and concrete. When Jane's dad said he would pick her up at 3:00, she expected that he would pick her up at EXACTLY 3:00.
Cody notices that his teacher gives a classmate a detention for coming to class late one day. But another student comes to class late one day (on either the same day or a different day) and the same teacher seems completely cool with it. Cody tells the teacher that s/he is being unfair by giving one classmate a detention for showing up late, but another classmate gets off scot free for doing the same thing (showing up late to class). Other people might think Cody is just trying to be mean to this teacher, but Cody most certainly is NOT trying to be mean AT ALL! Cody is on the Autism Spectrum. He does not easily understand when certain rules don't need to be followed. He remembers how adults and older kids have taught him that he needs to be fair, and that fairness means everyone gets the exact same snack. Or the exact same number of turns on the monkey bars at recess. He also doesn't understand how what he does or says makes other people feel. Cody may even be thinking, "how could what I said have hurt this teacher's feelings? All I did was tell him/her like it is."
Shaniqua overhears a peer saying "move over," instead of, "excuse me." She tells this peer. "you should know by now that you're supposed to say 'excuse me.'" Others might think Shaniqua is just trying to make the other kid feel bad about saying "move over," but that most certainly is NOT Shaniqua's intention. Shaniqua has a very mild form of Autism. The adults and older kids in her life have always taught her to say "excuse me," instead of, "move over," and she likely does not realize that this peer has not been taught this.
Ryan is at the park, and a kid he doesn't recognize asks him if he wants to play. Ryan says, "NO!" The other kid might be thinking, "why doesn't he want to play with me?" Ryan isn't saying, "NO," because he really doesn't want to play with that kid. Ryan is on the Autism Spectrum. Like many people on the Autism Spectrum, he is very rigid and concrete in his thinking, and doesn't understand that there are times when certain rules don't need to be followed. Adults and older kids have always taught him to say no to strangers, and he doesn't understand that this is a situation where this rule doesn't need to be followed.
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