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Aspergers Children and Poor School Attendance

Question

My child with Aspergers often convinces me that he is too sick to attend school. I end up calling-in for him at least a couple times a month. How can I tell if he’s really sick – or if he just doesn’t want to go to school that day?

Answer

Is your Aspergers (high functioning autistic) child really too sick to attend school - or is he faking it?

Many moms and dads have a hard time deciding if their children are well enough to go to school. After all, what well-intentioned mother or father hasn't sent a youngster off with tissues in hand only to get that mid-morning "come get your son" phone call? But making the right decision isn't as tough as you might think. It basically boils down to one question: Can your youngster still participate in school activities? After all, having a sore throat, cough, or mild congestion does not necessarily mean a student can't be active and participate in school activities.

Determining whether or not a youngster has a fever offers a fairly reliable way of judging whether or not he is truly too sick to go to school. Additionally, it is one of the few symptoms that can actually be quantified. States often have requirements regarding the exact temperature at which kids need to be sent home, especially in early childhood and child-care settings.

The time of day during which a youngster is experiencing a fever can also make a difference. Fevers usually run a bit higher in the evening than they do in the morning. So a high temperature in the evening may abate overnight. However, a high temperature in the morning will likely only get worse as the day progresses, so moms and dads should consider keeping children home in this case.

The child should probably stay home if it is the first day of the illness and the temperature is over 101. If it is the third day or later, and the youngster has been acting well during the day, but has a 101 temperature in the evening, he probably should go to school.

A fever isn't the only symptom to track when it comes to judging a kid's ability to attend school. Vomiting, diarrhea, rashes and a host of other indicators can also mean the difference between a desk at school or the couch at home.

Vomiting and diarrhea can also be a tremendous source of discomfort for kids if severe or uncontrolled. In these cases, a day at home may be the best option. If the youngster is vomiting, it is inconvenient for the teacher and the other classmates. If mild and controllable, however, a bit of diarrhea may not be a big problem. In elementary age kids, diarrhea isn't as much of an issue if it doesn't interfere with their ability to remain in the classroom and if they aren't sick enough to potentially have accidents, have to run to the bathroom, or be in pain.

Rashes, particularly those that cannot be readily explained, may also be cause to keep your kid at home -- and perhaps even require a doctor's opinion.

And kids with severe cases of conjunctivitis -- commonly known as pink eye -- should also be kept home from school. However, some doctors note that mild cases of this affliction may not warrant a day off.

Many moms and dads may also wonder when it is safe for their youngster to go back to school after recovering from their illness. The answer to that one is a little bit trickier. In general, nobody would recommend that a youngster goes back to school unless he has been fever-free for 24 hours, and some would even say 48 hours. A full day of fever-free downtime is probably sufficient to safeguard the youngster's health, as well as that of his peers. It is fairly standard that kids are required to be fever-free for 24 hours before returning, which is a useful method of limiting the spread of infection during the febrile period when kids are thought to be most contagious. When the fever is gone for 24 hours, the contagiousness is greatly diminished.

The 24-hour rule may prove to be more than sufficient for vomiting. Vomiting is a temporary nuisance most of the time. So if the youngster feels OK and has not vomited since midnight, consider allowing him to go the next morning.

In most cases, however, the decision of whether or not to send a sick kid to school will not be clear-cut. In these cases, moms and dads must ask themselves certain questions to help them decide. Will the illness prevent the youngster's participation in normal school activities? Also, will the youngster's illness place an unusual burden on the staff? A third and very important question to consider is whether or not the illness that the youngster has poses a risk to other kids and adults.

Moms and dads must also keep in mind that those complaints of abdominal pain could be from a food-borne illness -- or they could just be due to anxiety over the prospect of going to school. But in these situations, it may be better to err on the side of caution.

Moms and dads have to be willing to trust their instincts. Even when their youngster is not having any objective signs of illness, if they think that the youngster is different from how she normally is, they need to trust their instincts and keep her at home until they figure out what's wrong.

Moms and dads should also be aware of symptoms that suggest the youngster should be brought to a doctor. If the youngster cannot touch her chin to her chest, it could be a sign of meningitis, a serious infection that warrants immediate medical attention.

Deciding whether or not to send your kid to school can sometimes be a tough call. After all, it's not always easy to distinguish simple theatrics from true illness. Worse yet, a diagnosis and decision must often be made in the few spare moments after breakfast (and before an angry call from your boss). Fortunately, there are a few rules of thumb that you can follow when determining whether a youngster is up to the task of a full day at school. And doctors say a mild case of sore throat or the sniffles is not necessarily a mandate to keep children at home.

Trust your instincts. If your child has the sniffles but hasn't slowed down at home, chances are he's well enough for the classroom. On the other hand, he may need to take it easy at home if he's been coughing all night and needs to be woken up in the morning.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns at Home and School

Helping Aspergers and HFA Children Who Get Frustrated

When my 15y/o son with autism (high functioning) meets with disappointment, and when things don't go just as he wants them to, he has his meltdown …then it is so difficult to get him redirected back to doing what he should be doing. Are there any tips you can give me about how to try to get him back on track, to help him accept that something didn't work out or that he can't do or have something he really wanted?

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The "Female Version" of Aspergers

Aspergers (high functioning autism) affects behavior, personality, and the way a person interacts with others. As females with Aspergers become adults, they may feel isolated because they react differently to certain "stressful" situations. Their comments can seem insensitive and uncaring, when in reality, they simply may not fully understand the concept of empathy. These ladies often look for companionship with other adult females who have similar behavior patterns and outlook.

The symptoms of Aspergers in adult females are usually displayed in a more subtle manner, which often results in missed or incorrect professional diagnoses, a lack of access to special education services and provisions in school, and a greater chance of social and emotional problems in adulthood. Several distinct differences exist in regard to the ways that females and males with Aspergers behave.

Females with Aspergers are not often aggressive when they get frustrated. Instead, they tend to be withdrawn and can easily "fly under the radar" in classrooms and other social environments. These girls are also able to express their emotions in a calmer way than their male counterparts. Young females with Aspergers are often protected and nurtured by their “non-Aspergers” friends, who help them cope with difficult social situations. Acceptance from peers can sometimes mask the issues that these kids have so that they are not recognized by educators and parents, and as a result, they are less likely to suggest psychological and social evaluations for young female "Aspies."

There are certain personality traits and symptoms that moms and dads, educators, and professionals can look for if they suspect that a young girl or woman has Aspergers. Females with the disorder often display obsessive tendencies in regard to animals, dolls, and other female-oriented interests. While “non-Aspergers” females will play with dolls by pretending that they are interacting socially, female Aspies may collect dolls and not use them to engage socially with other kids. Their fascination with certain subjects can lead to them lagging behind their peers in terms of maturity and age-appropriate behavior (e.g., a pre-teen with Aspergers may be fascinated with stuffed animals or cartoons long after other peers her age have outgrown these things).

Female Aspies may be mistakenly assumed to have a personality disorder because they mimic typical kids, but use phrases inappropriately. They tend to be bored with others their age and have difficulty empathizing with their peers' worries or problems. While their behaviors are more passive than those typical of males with Aspergers, people who pay close attention to female kids with social and emotional delays can ensure that proper diagnosis and treatment will take place. The younger a child is when she begins to receive the appropriate speech, occupational, and psychological services for the disorder, the greater likelihood she will have of living an independent and functional adult life.

Other Aspergers symptoms if females include:

• Communication Difficulties— A girl with Aspergers finds that social communication does not come easily. She may struggle to find topics to talk about that will interest her peers. She often attempts to mimic the interests, behavior, and body language of others in an attempt to "fit in." Many female Aspies become quite adept at this mimicking, causing them to elude diagnosis and treatment throughout life. A girl with Aspergers who does not mimic others appears shy and socially awkward. Her body language is different from her peers, and she seems oblivious to the body language of others. Her voice may lack inflection, and she may show no happiness at the good fortune of others.

• Emotional Outbursts— It may be easier to identify males as having Aspergers, because they express their feelings and frustrations through emotional outbursts, which are more obvious to the observer. On the other hand, females with Aspergers may be more likely to internalize their emotions and feelings, and experience inward or passive signs of aggression. These certain gender-related behaviors might be part of the reason that fewer females are diagnosed with Aspergers.

• Fantasy— Female Aspies are intrigued with fantasies that include magical kingdoms, princesses, and other fairy tale elements. It is possible that the princess fantasies are given little notice, because females in general are more prone to this type of imaginary fantasy and play; therefore, these fantasies are not used as criteria in diagnosing the disorder.

• Highly Intelligent— Girls with Aspergers may be less talkative than other females their age. They are highly intelligent, but like their autistic counterparts, possess poor language skills. Communication and interaction with other kids may be difficult. Female Aspies may strive to learn as much as they can, even though social interaction is limited. Most "typical" kids who are socially active have no problem learning in a group setting, whereas Aspie girls may want to study and learn on their own.

• Inflexibility— An girl with Aspergers may be inflexible about her daily routine. She may want to eat the same meal each day and avoid food that has touched other food on her plate. She may arrange her toys a certain way on the shelf, perform the same grooming ritual each day and become upset by any change in her schedule.

• Obsessional Interests— Obsessional interests are another indicator of Aspergers. The child may talk incessantly about her topic of interest or spend the majority of her free time studying it or playing with it. A girl with Aspergers is more likely to have interests that are common to healthy females, whereas an Aspie male is more likely to have an unusual interest (e.g., a girl may be obsessed with horses, while a boy may be obsessed with AAA batteries). This highly focused interest can prove helpful or harmful (e.g., a strong interest in math can help a girl function well in school, while an interest in dolls may cause her to not focus on schoolwork and to eventually bore her friends).

• Repetitive Behaviors— The girl with Aspergers may exhibit repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand-flapping, pacing, stomping, blinking, finger-tapping, etc.). These may become more obvious when she is stressed. Even when she is made aware of these behaviors, she may be unable to control them.

• Socially Awkward— Inability to communicate and physical clumsiness will put young Aspies at a disadvantage from the very beginning. They may seem disinterested and aloof. Asperger kids have difficulty understanding slang and humor. They may seem out of place and will not make friends easily. As Asperger kids grow into teens, many find ways to adapt, and their differences may not seem as pronounced.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...