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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query stress anxiety. Sort by date Show all posts

Tips for Reducing Stress Related to Parenting Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"My (high functioning autistic) child is one of the most wonderful blessings of my life – yet at times, stress may cause me to wonder if he is at the root of my most intense times of irritability and anxiety. I don't like thinking like this. Any tips on how I can reduce my stress while at the same time, care for my son's special needs.?"

Let’s be honest. Caring for a child on the autism spectrum can be tiring. On bad days, we as parents can feel trapped by the constant responsibility. The additional stress of caring for a child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) or Asperger's (AS) can, at times, make a parent feel angry, anxious, or just plain "stressed out." These tensions are a normal, inevitable part of the family, and parents need to learn ways to cope so that they don't feel overwhelmed by them.

To see if you are experiencing toxic amounts of parental stress, answer the following questions:
  1. Are you often irritable?
  2. Are you suffering from lack of sleep?
  3. Are you worried about your child’s future?
  4. Are you worried about your family’s finances?
  5. Do you avoid of social interaction outside the home as much as possible?
  6. Do you choose the self-serve lane at the supermarket and the ATM at the bank because doing things by yourself is just easier?
  7. Do you ever find yourself so rushed and distracted that it’s “just annoying” when a cashier or neighbor tries to make chitchat with you about the weather?
  8. Do you ever get so caught up in one subject (e.g., IEP worries or your frustration with your child’s school) that you catch yourself repeating the same complaints to anyone who will listen?
  9. Do you find yourself snapping at your child for interrupting you, then feeling guilty afterwards?
  10. Do you have a disregard for personal appearance and social niceties?
  11. Do you keep meaning to pick up the phone and call a friend, but find yourself too busy or distracted?
  12. Do you scan each room you enter for things that might trigger a meltdown in your youngster, (e.g., unusual smells or loud noises)? …and do you find yourself doing so even when he isn’t with you? …for that matter, after avoiding those things for so long, do you find that they now irritate you, too?
  13. Have the cute hairdos and perky outfits been replaced by ponytails and sweats?
  14. Have you ever had the thought, “I don’t like my child”?
  15. Have you found yourself getting annoyed when your spouse tunes you out or tries to change the subject?

If you answered “yes” to several of these questions, you too may be suffering from parental stress associated with parenting a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.
 

Stress becomes a problem when you feel overwhelmed by the things that happen to you. You may feel "stressed out" when it seems there is too much to deal with all at once, and you are not sure how to handle it all. When you feel stressed, you usually have some physical symptoms. You can feel tired, get headaches, stomach upsets or backaches, clench your jaw or grind your teeth, develop skin rashes, have recurring colds or flu, have muscle spasms or nervous twitches, or have problems sleeping. Mental signs of stress include feeling pressured, having difficulty concentrating, being forgetful and having trouble making decisions. Emotional signs include feeling angry, frustrated, tense, anxious, or more aggressive than usual.

The stress of parenting a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder does not have to damage the bond you have with your child. In fact, if you take the necessary steps to reduce stress in your life, it can actually strengthen the closeness of your relationship with your youngster.

20 Tips for Reducing Stress Related to Parenting Children on the Spectrum

1. As a mother or father, it’s a necessity to take care of yourself so that you have the energy and motivation to be a good parent.

2. Avoid fatigue. Go to bed earlier and take short naps when you can.

3. Coping with the stress of parenting an HFA or AS child starts with understanding what makes you feel stressed, learning to recognize the symptoms of too much stress, and learning some new ways of handling life's problems. You may not always be able to tell exactly what is causing your emotional tension, but it is important to remind yourself that it is not your youngster's fault.

4. Develop good relationships. Family relationships are built over time with loving care and concern for other people's feelings. Talk over family problems in a warm, relaxed atmosphere. Focus on solutions rather than finding blame. If you are too busy or upset to listen well at a certain time, say so. Then agree on a better time, and make sure to do it. Laugh together, be appreciative of each other, and give compliments often. It may be very hard to schedule time to spend with your family, doing things that you all enjoy, but it is the best time you will ever invest. Moms and dads and kids need time to spend one-to-one. Whether yours is a one or two-parent family, each parent should try to find a little time to spend alone with each youngster. You could read a bedtime story, play a game, or go for a walk together.

5. Have a realistic attitude. Most moms and dads have high expectations of how things should be. We all want a perfect family, and we all worry about how our children will turn out. But, wanting “the ideal family” can get in the way of enjoying the one you have. 
 

6. If you don’t already belong to a group for parents of HFA and AS kids, you’re missing out on great social and emotional support. But, also remember that you had interests before you became a harried mom. Whether it’s decorating or reading murder mysteries, we all need some sort of pleasant diversion, and friendly folks to share it with. If you’re able to join a local support group and club, great! But if not, there is a plethora of online discussion groups about just about any interest you can imagine.

7. If you feel guilty about the idea of trying to plan time and activities apart from your youngster– don’t! How can we teach our "special needs" children that socialization is important, healthy, and worthwhile, if we hardly ever take time for it ourselves? So pick up the phone and plan time for some fun with a friend. If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your youngster.

8. If you're feeling pressured, tense or drawn out at the end of a busy day, say so. Tell your kids calmly that you will be happy to give them some attention soon but first you need a short "quiet time" so that you can relax.

9. Keep in mind that your child experiences stress, too – at any age. So when you work on methods to reduce your own stress, try to incorporate stress relieving techniques that both you and your youngster can use to reduce stress. Of course, the stress relieving activities that you choose for you and your child to share will depend on your child’s age.

10. Learn some ways of unwinding to manage the tension. Simple daily stretching exercises help relieve muscle tension. Vigorous walking, aerobics or sports are excellent ways for some people to unwind and work off tension; others find deep-breathing exercises are a fast, easy and effective way to control physical and mental tension.

11. Look for community programs for moms and dads and kids. They offer activities that are fun, other moms and dads to talk with, and some even have babysitting.

12. Look for parenting courses in your community. 
 

13. Make a play date. The great thing about play dates for moms is that you don’t have to referee them – you just have to find time for them! Sit down with your calendar, get on the phone, and schedule time to spend with friends, at least every couple of weeks. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Go together for manicures or a trip to Target, followed by lattés, while Dad watches the kids. But make sure you schedule in play dates with Dad occasionally, too. If you can’t find a sitter, trade off watching the kids with another couple who has a youngster on the spectrum – most, I’ve found, are happy to make such a deal.

14. Make quality time for yourself, and reserve time each week for your own activities.

15. Most of us live hectic lives, and working through lunch can easily become habit. Make a commitment to yourself that at least three days a week you’re going to operate as a social human being. Go over to the food court with your coworkers, or brown bag it and catch up on the gossip in the lunchroom. You need interaction with grown-ups who are interested in topics that you are interested in. So after the dishwasher is loaded, put everybody down to nap or stick in a DVD for 20 minutes, and pick up the phone and call your best friend or sister, and give yourself a dose a grown-up time.

16. Practice time management. Set aside time to spend with the kids, time for yourself, and time for your spouse and/or friends. Learn to say "no" to requests that interfere with these important times. Cut down on outside activities that cause the family to feel rushed.

17. Take a break from looking after the kids. Help keep stress from building up. Ask for help from friends or relatives to take care of the kids for a while. Exchange babysitting services with a neighbor, or hire a teenager, even for a short time once a week to get some time for yourself.

18. Take care of your health with a good diet and regular exercise. Moms and dads need a lot of energy to look after kids.

19. Talk to someone. Sharing your worries is a great stress reducer!

20. We all have reactions to life's events which are based on our own personal histories. For the most part, we never completely understand the deep-down causes of all our feelings. What we must realize is that our feelings of stress come from inside ourselves and that we can learn to keep our stress reactions under control.

If you are considering getting some additional support or information to help you cope with the stress of parenting, there are many different resources available, including books and video tapes on stress management, parenting courses and workshops, professional counseling and self-help groups.
 

Autism Spectrum Disorder in Kids and Teens: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS from Parents

 1. Are individuals with ASD more likely to be involved in criminal activities?

Some individuals with ASD have found themselves before the criminal justice system for a variety of offenses that are usually related to their special interests, sensory sensitivity or strong moral code. If a person's special interest is of a dangerous nature it can sometimes lead them into unusual crimes associated with that interest. The courts are becoming increasingly aware of the nature of ASD and are responding accordingly. More often than not, individuals with the disorder are more likely to be victims than offenders. Their naivety and vulnerability make them easy targets.

2. Can ASD occur with another disorder?

The simple answer to this question is YES. The symptoms of ASD have been recognized in individuals with other conditions and disorders. Once a single diagnosis of ASD is confirmed, it is wise to continue the diagnostic process to see if there is another specific medical condition.

3. Can ASD occur with ADHD?

These are two distinct conditions, but it is possible for a youngster to have both. They have specific differences, but there are some similarities, and a youngster can have a dual diagnosis and require treatment for both conditions.

4. Can the person develop normal relationships?

In early childhood, a youngster with ASD may need to be given instructions on the different ways of relating to family members, to a teacher, to friends and to strangers. Teenagers on the spectrum can be delayed in their social/emotional maturity compared to the other kids in their class. It may be necessary to repeat some school programs on human relationships and sexuality when the person with ASD has reached that stage of their emotional development. 
 
With a prolonged emotional adolescence and delayed acquisition of social skills, the person may not have a close and intimate relationship until much later than their peers. Many individuals with ASD have loving relationships, but the partners may need counseling on each other's background and perspective. One could describe these relationships as similar to those between individuals of two different cultures, unaware of the conventions and expectations of the other partner.

5. Could a difficult pregnancy or birth have been a cause?

Some studies state that quite a high percentage of cases had a history of natal conditions that might have caused damage. But, in general, pregnancy may well have been unremarkable. However, the incidence of obstetric abnormalities is high. No one factor can be identified, but labor crises and neonatal problems are recorded with a significant number of kids with ASD. There is also a greater incidence of babies who are small for gestational age, and mothers in the older age range. It is recognized that there are three principal causes of ASD - genetic factors, unfavorable genetic events, and infections during pregnancy or early infancy that affect the brain.

6. Could ASD be a form of schizophrenia?

These are again, two distinct conditions. The chances of a person with ASD developing schizophrenia are only marginally greater than for any individual. Some individuals with the disorder are wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia, when they have extreme stress, anxiety and depression related to their ASD. A false diagnostic trail is easily created and it is important to re-trace the steps and see what is causing the stress and anxiety for the person with ASD.

7. Could ASD be inherited?

Some research shows that there are strikingly similar features in first- or second-degree relatives on either side of the family, or the family history includes "eccentric" individuals who have a mild expression of the disorder. There are also some families with a history of kids with ASD and classic Autism. Should a relative have had similar characteristics when younger, they have a unique advantage in helping the youngster - they know what they are going through. There is no formal identification of the precise means of transmission if the cause is genetic, but we do have some suggestions as to which chromosomes may be involved. As our knowledge of genetics improves, we may soon be able to predict the recurrence rate for individual families.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

8. Could the pattern be secondary to a language disorder?

If a young child has difficulty understanding the language of other kids and cannot speak as well as their peers, then it would be quite understandable for them to avoid interactions and social play, as speech is an integral part of such activities. However, the youngster with autism has more complex and severe social impairments, which identify the disorder from other disorders.

9. Could we have caused the condition?

ASD is not caused by emotional trauma, neglect or failing to love your youngster. The research studies have clearly shown that ASD is a developmental disorder due to a dysfunction of specific structures and systems of the brain. These structures may not have fully developed due to chromosomal abnormalities or may have been damaged during pregnancy, birth or the first few months of life.

10. Do girls have a different expression of the disorder?

The boy to girl ratio for referrals for a diagnostic assessment is about ten boys to one girl. However, the evidence indicates that the actual ratio of diagnosed kids is four boys to one girl (this is the same ratio as occurs with classic autism). Why are so few girls referred for a diagnosis? In general, boys tend to have a greater expression of social deficits, whereas girls tend to be relatively more able in social play and have a more even profile of social skills. Girls seem to be more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other kids and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of ASD.

11. How can you reduce the person's level of anxiety?

A person with ASD is especially susceptible to high levels of anxiety, and this can only be reduced by practical strategies to cope with the issues causing the anxiety. Sensory issues, social skills and the need for structure and routine can cause unbearable stress and anxiety and this increases the expression of their ASD itself, thus causing a vicious circle. Stress management programs can help minor levels of anxiety - providing a sanctuary without social or conversational interruption and using relaxation techniques.

If a person becomes increasingly anxious or agitated, it may help to start an activity that requires physical exertion (e.g., a trampoline or swing). Offering a youngster an alternative to the playground at break-time can be invaluable, and using specific ways (such as sending the youngster to the school office with a message) to give the youngster a break from the classroom. It helps if the teacher can establish a special code with the youngster with ASD, so that they can signal their anxiety without drawing attention to themselves. We recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy as an excellent way to reducing anxiety for individuals with ASD.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

12. How do you share the news?

This varies according to each youngster and their circumstances. For some it may help if the diagnosis becomes public, while for others it may be preferable that they are not distinguished from other kids. A principle of who needs to know is considered to be useful. There are classroom activities that can be used to help other kids to understand the condition, and how to help their classmate with ASD. At home, it will become apparent to siblings that a diagnosis has been reached, and it is important to explain things properly to them. There are some useful books on this topic; also, local help groups may run workshops for siblings. How do you tell the youngster themselves that they have ASD?

The answer may be to tell the youngster when they are emotionally able to cope with the information and want to know why they have difficulties in situations that other kids find so easy. It is important to give the person with ASD a sense of their many positive qualities, and to give examples of the many scientists and artists who have the disorder and have used these qualities for great achievements. Once the person knows they have ASD it can provide a sense of relief and understanding.

13. Is the person likely to become depressed?

Clinical evidence shows that there is a greater risk of depression in individuals with ASD. In early childhood the person may be less concerned about their differences to other kids. During adolescence they start to become more interested in socializing with others and become acutely aware of their difficulties. The most common cause of depression is the person with ASD wanting to be like others and to have friends, but not knowing how to succeed. Should one suspect that the person with on the spectrum is depressed, it is essential that they obtain a referral to a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable in autism spectrum disorders and obtain treatment. Treatment for depression involved conventional medicine, but should also include programs to deal with the origin of the depression.
 
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

14. Is there a specific area of the brain that is Dysfunctional?

There is increasing evidence to suggest that the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain are dysfunctional.

15. What are the advantages of using the term ASD?

If the term ASD-Level 1 is used, it can avoid misunderstandings in relation to the use of the term autism. Many individuals have a negative association with the term autism, so it is good to use a different one. When a youngster is said to have ASD-Level 1, the usual response is "I've never heard of that. What is it?" The reply can simply explain that the youngster has a neurological condition which means that they are learning to socialize and understand the thoughts and feelings of other individuals, have difficulty with a natural conversation, can develop an intense fascination in a particular area of interest, and can be a little clumsy.

16. What are the changes we can expect during adolescence?

The physical changes of adolescence are likely to occur at the same age as for their peers, but young people with ASD may be confused by such changes. During the hormonal changes and increased stress associated with adolescence, the teenager may have a temporary increase in their expression of ASD. Moms and dads need to be supportive and patient, and remember that this is a difficult time for virtually all kids.

Some of the emotional changes of adolescence may be significantly delayed in teens with ASD, and while other teenagers are intent on romance and testing the rules, the teenager with ASD still wants simple friendships, has strong moral values and wants to achieve high grades. They can be ridiculed for these qualities, but it is important to explain that they are valuable qualities, not yet recognized by others. Some traits of adolescence can occur later than usual and extend well into a person's twenties; thus, the emotional changes of adolescence are often delayed and prolonged.

17. What is the difference between High-Functioning Autism and classic autism?

Some kids have the features of autism in early childhood and then develop the ability to talk using complex sentences, develop basic social skills and an intellectual capacity within the normal range. This group was first described as having High- Functioning Autism. It is most likely to be used as a term for those who had a diagnosis of autism in their early childhood. It is less likely to be used for kids whose early development was not consistent with classic autism. Both autism [level 3] and ASD [level 1] are on the same seamless continuum, and there will be those kids who are in a diagnostic "grey area", where one is unsure which term to use.

18. What is the difference between the disorder and the normal range of abilities and personality?

The normal range of abilities and behavior in childhood is quite extensive. Many kids have a shy personality, are not great conversationalists, have unusual hobbies and are a little clumsy. However, with ASD, the characteristics are qualitatively different. They are beyond the normal range and have a distinct pattern.

19. What should we look for in a school and teacher?

What are the attributes of a good school? Most important is the personality and ability of the class teachers and their access to support and resources. It is not essential that the teacher has experience of similar kids, as each youngster with ASD is unique and a teacher uses different strategies for each individual. It is very important to find as small-sized a class as possible, to have a quiet, well-ordered classroom, with an atmosphere of encouragement not criticism, and to have practical support from the school administration. It is important to maintain consistency for the youngster with ASD, so try not to change school unless absolutely necessary once a youngster is settled.

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

Aspergers Children & Mental Health Issues

Individuals with autism or Aspergers are particularly vulnerable to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression, especially in late adolescence and early adult life (Tantam & Prestwood, 1999). Ghaziuddin et al (1998) found that 65 per cent of their sample of patients with Aspergers presented with symptoms of psychiatric disorder. However, as mentioned by Howlin (1997), "the inability of individuals with autism to communicate feelings of disturbance, anxiety or distress can also mean that it is often very difficult to diagnose depressive or anxiety states, particularly for clinicians who have little knowledge or understanding of developmental disorders". Similarly, because of their impairment in non-verbal expression, they may not appear to be depressed (Tantam, 1991).This can mean that it is not until the illness is well developed that it is recognized, with possible consequences such as total withdrawal; increased obsessional behavior; refusal to leave the home, go to work or college etc.; and threatened, attempted or actual suicide. Aggression, paranoia or alcoholism may also occur.

In treating mental illness in the patient with autism or Aspergers, it is important that the psychiatrist or other health professional has knowledge of the individual with autism being assessed. As Howlin (1997) says, "It is crucial that the physician involved is fully informed about the individuals usual style of communication, both verbal and non-verbal". In particular it is recommended, if possible, that they speak to the parents or care-givers to ensure that the information received is reliable, e.g., any recent changes from the normal pattern of behavior, whilst at the same time respecting the right of the person with autism to be treated as an individual. Wing (1996) asserts that psychiatrists should be aware of autistic spectrum disorders as they appear in adolescents and adults, especially those who are more able, if diagnostic errors are to be avoided. Attwood (1998) also stresses the importance of the psychiatrist being knowledgeable in Aspergers. Tantam and Prestwood (1999), however, state that treatments for anxiety and depression that are also effective for individuals without autism are effective for individuals with autism. They go on to say that practitioners and psychiatrists with no special knowledge of autism or Aspergers can be of considerable assistance in treating these conditions. Typically, however, it is of great advantage if the psychiatrist has experience of autism/Aspergers.

This post will concentrate on mental health in individuals with high-functioning autism or Aspergers although references will be made to autism per se where appropriate. Emphasis will be on depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, but it is important to realize that individuals with Aspergers also experience other problems, such as impulsive behavior and mood swings. To date there has been little research in this area but, as Carpenter (2001) has found, these can sometimes be incapacitating. Treatment can include conventional mood stabilizing drugs, but helping the person to improve their self-awareness is also important.

Depression—

Depression is common in individuals with Aspergers with about 1 in 15 individuals with Aspergers experiencing such symptoms (Tantam, 1991). Individuals with Aspergers leaving home and going to college frequently report feelings of depression as demonstrated by the personal accounts that can be found at www.users.dircon.co.uk/~cns/index.html As one young person says, "I also had to deal with anger, frustration, and depression that I had been keeping inside since high school". A study by Kim et al (2000) also found depression to be more common in children aged 10-12 years with high-functioning autism/Aspergers than in the general population of children of the same age.

Depression in individuals with Aspergers may be related to a growing awareness of their disability or a sense of being different from their peer group and/or an inability to form relationships or take part in social activities successfully. Personal accounts by young individuals with Aspergers frequently refer to attempts to make friends but "I just did not know the rules of what you were or were not supposed to do" www.users.dircon.co.uk/~cns/jeanpaul.html Indeed, some individuals have even been accused of harassment in their attempts to socialize, something that can only add to their depression and anxiety; "I also did not know how to approach girls and ask them to go out with me. I would just walk up and talk to them, whether they wanted to talk to me or not. Some accused me of harassment, but I thought that was the way everybody did that." www.users.dircon.co.uk/~cns/jeanpaul.html

The difficulties individuals with Aspergers have with personal space can compound this sort of problem. For example, they may stand too close or too far from the person to whom they are speaking.

Other precipitating factors are also seen in many individuals without autism who are depressed and include loneliness, bereavement or other form of loss, sexual frustration, a constant feeling of failure, extreme anxiety levels etc.

Childhood experiences such as bullying or abuse may also result in depression, as can a history of misdiagnosis. Another possibility is that the person is biologically predisposed to depression (Attwood, 1998). However, there are, of course, many other factors that may trigger the depression and this list should not be taken as exhaustive.

Tantam and Prestwood (1999) describe the depression of someone with Aspergers as taking the same form as in individuals without the condition, although the content of the illness may be different. For example, the depression might show itself through an individual’s particular preoccupations and obsessions and care must be taken to ensure that the depression is not diagnosed as schizophrenia or some other psychotic disorder or just put down to autism. It is important to assess the individual’s depression in the context of their autism, i.e. their social disabilities, and any gradual or sudden changes in behavior, sleep patterns, anger or withdrawal should always be taken seriously.

Symptoms of depression can be psychological (poor concentration/memory, thoughts of death or suicide, tearfulness); physical (slowing down or agitation, tiredness/lack of energy, sleep problems, disturbed appetite (weight loss or gain)); or affects of mood and motivation (e.g., low mood, loss of interest or pleasure, hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness, withdrawal or bizarre beliefs etc.) Individuals with depression can also experience periods of mania.

Lainhart and Folstein (1994) cite three approaches that need to be made in diagnosing depression in a person with autism. The first concerns a deterioration in cognition, language, behavior or activity. The complaint is rarely couched in terms of mood. Secondly, it is important to take the patients history to establish their baseline, patterns of activity and interests. It is this pattern with which the presenting patterns can be compared. Thirdly, an attempt should be made to assess the patient’s mental state, both directly and through the parent or care-giver, if present. Examples would include reports of crying, difficulties in separating from their parent/care-giver for an interview, increased/decreased activity, agitation or aggression. There may be evidence of new or increased self-injury or worsening autistic features, such as increased proportion of echolalia or the reappearance of hand-flapping.

Attwood (1998) also refers to the inability that some individuals with Aspergers have in expressing appropriate and subtle emotions. They may, for example, laugh or giggle in circumstances where other individuals would show embarrassment, discomfort, pain or sadness. He stresses that this unusual reaction, for example after a bereavement, does not mean the person is being callous or is mentally ill. They need understanding and tolerance of their idiosyncratic way of expressing their grief.

In treating depression, medications used in general practice may be prescribed (Carpenter, 1999). It is important to realize, however, that such agents do not make an impact on the primary social impairments that underlie autism. See Gringras (2000) for a discussion on the use of psychopharmacological prescribing for children with autism or Santosh and Baird (1999) for a analysis of psycho pharmacotherapy in children and adults with intellectual disability (including autism). As with any treatment for depression, adjustments may have to be made to find the appropriate drug and dosage for that particular person. Side effects should also be monitored and effort made to ensure the benefits of the treatment outweigh the penalties (Carpenter, 1999). It is also important to identify the cause for the depression and this may involve counseling (see below), social skills training, or meeting up with individuals with similar interests and values.

Anxiety—

Anxiety is a common problem in individuals with autism and Aspergers. Grandin (2000) writes that, at puberty, fear was her main emotion. Any change in her school schedule caused intense anxiety and the fear of a panic attack. Anxiety attacks started shortly after her first menstrual period. Muris et al (1998) found that 84.1% of children with pervasive developmental disorder met the full criteria of at least one anxiety disorder (phobia, panic disorder, separation anxiety disorder, avoidant disorder, overanxious disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder). This does not necessarily go away as the child grows older. Attwood (1998) states that many young adults with Aspergers report intense feelings of anxiety, an anxiety that may reach a level where treatment is required. For some individuals, it is the treatment of their anxiety disorder that leads to a diagnosis of Aspergers.

Individuals with Aspergers are particularly prone to anxiety disorders as a consequence of the social demands made upon them. As Attwood (1998) explains, any social contact can generate anxiety as to how to start, maintain and end the activity and conversation. Changes to daily routine can exacerbate the anxiety, as can certain sensory experiences.

One way of coping with their anxiety levels is for persons with Aspergers to retreat into their particular interest. Their level of preoccupation can be used a measure of their degree of anxiety. The more anxious the person, the more intense the interest (Attwood, 1998). Anxiety can also increase the rigidity in thought processes and insistence upon routines. Thus, the more anxious the person, the greater the expression of Aspergers. When happy and relaxed, it may not be anything like as apparent.

One potentially good way of managing anxiety is to use behavioral techniques. For children, this may involve teachers or parents looking out for recognized symptoms, such as rocking or hand-flapping, as an indication that the child is anxious. Adults and older children can be taught to recognize these symptoms themselves, although some might need prompting. Specific events may also be known to trigger anxiety e.g., a stranger entering the room. When certain events (internal or external) are recognized as a sign of imminent or increasing anxiety, action can be taken for example, relaxation, distraction or physical activity.

The choice of relaxation method depends very much on the individual and many of the relaxation products available commercially can be adapted for use for individuals with autism/Aspergers. Young children may respond to watching their favorite video. Older children and adults may prefer to listen to calming music. There is much music on the market, both from specialist outfits and regular music stores that is written specifically to bring about a feeling of tranquility. It is important the person does not have social demands, however slight, made upon them if they are to benefit. It is also important that they have access to a quiet room. Other techniques include massage (this should be administered carefully to avoid sensory defensiveness), aromatherapy, deep breathing and using positive thoughts. Howlin (1997) suggests the use of photographs, postcards or pictures of a pleasant or familiar scene. These need to be small enough to be carried about and should be laminated in order to protect them. Howlin also stresses the need to practice whichever method of relaxation is chosen at frequent and regular intervals in order for it to be of any practical use when anxieties actually arise.

An alternative option, particularly if the person is very agitated, is to undertake a physical activity (Attwood, 1998). Activities may include using the swing or trampoline, going for a long walk perhaps with the dog, or doing physical chores around the home.

Drug treatment may be effective for anxiety. Individuals may respond to buspirone, propranilol or clonazepam (Santosh and Baird, 1999) although Carpenter (2001) finds St. Johns Wort, benzodiazepines and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) antidepressants to be more effective. As with all drug treatments it may take time to find the correct drug and dosage for any particular person. Such treatment must only be conducted through a qualified medical practitioner.

Whatever method is chosen to reduce anxiety, it is crucial to identify the cause of the anxiety. This should be done by careful monitoring of the precedents to an increase in anxiety and the source of the anxiety tackled.

Obsessive compulsive disorder—

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is described as a condition characterized by recurring, obsessive thoughts (obsessions) or compulsive actions (compulsions) (Thomsen, 1999). Thomsen goes on to say that obsessive thoughts are ideas, pictures of thoughts or impulses, which repeatedly enter the mind, whereas compulsive actions and rituals are behaviors which are repeated over and over again.

Baron-Cohen (1989) argues that the stereotypic obsessive action seen in children with autism differs from the child with OCD. As Thomsen (1999) explains, the child with autism does not have the ability to put things into perspective. Although terminology implies that certain behaviors in autism are similar to those seen in OCD, these behaviors fail to meet the definition of either obsessions or compulsions. They are not invasive, undesired or annoying, a prerequisite for a diagnosis of OCD. The reason for this is that individuals with (severe) autism are unable to contemplate or talk about their own mental states. However, OCD does appear often to coincide with Aspergers, although there is very little literature examining the relationship between the two (Thomsen, 1999).

Szatmari et al (1989) studied a group of 24 children. He discovered that 8% of the children with Aspergers and 10% of the children with high-functioning autism were diagnosed with OCD. This compared to 5 per cent of the control group of children without autism but with social problems. Thomsen el at (1994) found that in the children he studied, the OCD continued into adulthood.

Individuals with Aspergers can sometimes respond to conventional behavioral treatment to help reduce the symptoms of OCD. However, as with anyone, this will only be effective if the person wants to stop their obsessions. An alternative is use medication to reduce the anxiety around the obsessions, thus enabling the person to tolerate the frustration of not carrying out their obsession (Carpenter, 2001).

Schizophrenia—

There is no evidence that individuals with autistic conditions are any more likely than anyone else to develop schizophrenia (Wing, 1996).

It is also important to realize that individuals have been diagnosed as having schizophrenia when, in fact, they have Aspergers. This is because their odd behavior or speech pattern, or the persons strange accounts or interpretations of life, are seen as a sign of mental illness, such as schizophrenia. Obsessional thoughts can become quite bizarre during mood swings and these can be seen as evidence of schizophrenia rather than the mood disorder that actually are. However, should someone with Aspergers experience hallucinations or delusions that they find distressing, conventional antipsychotic medications can be prescribed? However, it is recommended that only the newer atypical antipsychotics are used, as individuals with Aspergers often have mild movement disorders (Carpenter, 2001). Cognitive behavior therapy and other psychological management methods may be effective.

Psychological Treatments—

A primary psychological treatment for mood disorders is cognitive behavioral therapy as it is effective in changing the way a person thinks and responds to feelings such as anxiety, sadness and anger, addressing any deficits and distortions in thinking (Attwood, 1999). Hare and Paine (1997) list ways in which the therapy can be adapted for use with individuals with Aspergers: having a clear structure e.g., protocols of turn-taking; adapting the length of sessions therapy might have to be very brief e.g., 10-15 minutes long; the therapy must be non-interpretative; the therapy must not be anxiety provoking as any arousal of emotion during therapy may be very counterproductive; group therapy should not be used. It is also important that the therapist has a working knowledge and understanding of Aspergers in a counseling setting i.e., the difficulty individuals have dealing things emotionally, finding it best to deal with things intellectually. The therapist and client can work towards explicit operational goals, the focus being on concrete and specific symptoms. Attwood (1999) gives a succinct overview of the components of the counseling process. Hare and Paine (1997) stress that such therapy is not a treatment or even an amelioration of the characteristics of Aspergers itself. It merely opens the psychotherapeutic door for individuals with such a diagnosis.

Catatonia—

Catatonia is a complex disorder covering a range of abnormalities of posture, movement, speech and behavior associated with over- as well as under-activity (Rogers, 1992; Bush et al, 1996; Lishman, 1998).

There is increasing research and clinical evidence that some individuals with autism spectrum disorders, including Aspergers, develop a complication characterized by catatonic and Parkinsonian features (Wing and Shah, 2000; Shah and Wing, 2001; Realmuto and August, 1991).

In individuals with autistic spectrum disorders, catatonia is shown by the onset of any of the following features:

a. difficulty in initiating completing and inhibiting actions
b. increased passivity and apparent lack of motivation
c. increased reliance on physical or verbal prompting by others
d. increased slowness affecting movements and/or verbal responses

Other manifestations and associated behaviors include Parkinsonian features including freezing, excitement and agitation, and a marked increase in repetitive and ritualistic behavior.

Behavioral and functional deterioration in adolescence is common among individuals with autistic spectrum disorders (Gillberg and Steffenburg, 1987). When there is deterioration or an onset of new behaviors, it is important to consider the possibility of catatonia as an underlying cause. Early recognition of problems and accurate diagnosis are important as it is easiest to manage and reverse the condition in the early stages. The condition of catatonia is distressing for the individual concerned and likely to exacerbate the difficulties with voluntary movement and cause additional behavioral disturbances.

There is little information on the cause or effective treatment of catatonia. In a study of referrals to Elliot House who had autistic spectrum disorders, it was found that 17% of all those aged 15 and over, when seen, had catatonic and Parkinsonian features of sufficient degree to severely limit their mobility, use of speech and carrying out daily activities. It was more common in those with mild or severe learning disabilities (mental retardation), but did occur in some who were high functioning. The development of catatonia, in some cases, seemed to relate to stresses arising from inappropriate environments and methods of care and management. The majority of the cases had also been on various psychotropic drugs.

There is very little evidence about effective treatment and management of catatonia. No medical treatment was found to help those seen at Elliot House (Wing and Shah, 2000). There are isolated reports of individuals treated with anti-depressive medication and electro-convulsive therapy (ECT) (Realmuto and August, 1991; Zaw et al, 1999).

Given the scarcity of information in the literature and possible adverse side effects of medical treatments, it is important to recognize and diagnose catatonia as early as possible and apply environmental, cognitive and behavioral methods of the management of symptoms and underlying causes. Detailed psychological assessment of the individuals, their environment, lifestyle, circumstances, pattern of deterioration and catatonia are needed to design an individual program of management. General management methods on which to base an individual treatment program are discussed in Shah and Wing (2001).

Conclusion—

Individuals with Aspergers can experience a variety of mental health problems, notably anxiety and depression, but also impulsiveness and mood swings. They may be misdiagnosed as having a psychotic disorder and it is therefore important psychiatrists treating them are knowledgeable about autism and Aspergers. Conventional drug treatment can be used to treat depression, anxiety and other disorders. Behavioral treatments and therapies can also be effective. However, any treatment must be careful tailored to suit an individual and overseen by a qualified practitioner. However, any psychotropic medicine should be used with extreme caution and strictly monitored with individuals with autism due to their susceptibility to movement disorders, including catatonia.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism



References—

• Attwood T. (1998) Aspergers syndrome: a guide for parents and professionals. London: Jessica Kingsley.
• Attwood T. (1999) Modifications to cognitive behaviour therapy to accommodate the unusual cognitive profile of people with Aspergers syndrome. Paper presented at autism99 internet conference ( http://www.autismconnect.org ).
• Baron-Cohen S. (1989 ) Do autistic children have obsessions and compulsions? British Journal of Clinical Psychology, Vol. 28 (99), 193-200.
• Bush G. et al (1996) Catatonia. I. Rating scale and standardising examination. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, Vol. 93 , pp. 129-136
• Carpenter P. (1999) The use of medication to treat mental illness in adults with autism spectrum disorders . Paper presented at autism99 internet conference ( http://autismconnect.org ).
• Ghaziuddin E., Weidmer-Mikhail E. and Ghaziuddin N. (1998) Comorbidity of Asperger syndrome: a preliminary report. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research Vol. 42 (4), pp. 279-283.
• Gillberg C. and Steffenburg S. (1987) Outcome and prognostic factors in infantile autism and similar conditions: a population based study of 46 cases followed through puberty. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, Vol. 17 (2), pp. 273-287.
• Hare D.J. and Paine C. (1997) Developing cognitive behavioural treatments for people with Aspergers syndrome. Clinical Psychology Forum, no. 110, pp. 5-8.
• Howlin P. (1997) Autism: preparing for adulthood. London: Routledge.
• Kim J. et al (2000) The prevalence of anxiety and mood problems amongst children with autism and Asperger syndrome. Autism, Vol. 4(2), pp. 117-132.
• Lainhart J.E. and Folstein S.E. (1994) Affective disorders in people with autism: a review of published cases. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, Vol. 24 (5), pp. 587-601.
• Lishman W. A. (1998) Organic psychiatry: the psychological consequences of cerebral disorder pp. 349-356. Oxford: Blackwell.
• Muris P. et al (1998) Comorbid anxiety symptoms in children with pervasive developmental disorders. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, Vol. 12 (4), pp. 387-393.
• Realmuto G. and August G. (1991) Catatonia in autistic disorder; a sign of comorbidity or variable expressions? Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, Vol. 21 (4), pp. 517-528.
• Rogers D. (1992) Motor disorder in psychiatry: t owards a neurological psychiatry. Chichester: Wiley.
• Santosh P.J. and Baird G. (1999) Psychopharmacotherapy in children and adults with intellectual disability . The Lancet, Vol 354 , July 17, pp.233-242.
• Shah A. and Wing L. (2001) Understanding and managing catatonia in autism. A clinical perspective. To be published.
• Szatmari P., Bartoluci G. and Bremner R. (1989) Aspergers syndrome and autism: comparison of early history and outcome . Developmental Medicine and Child Neurology, Vol. 31 , pp. 709-720.
• Tantam D. (1991) Asperger syndrome in adulthood . In U. Frith (ed.) Autism and Asperger Syndrome, pp. 147-183 Cambridge University Press.
• Tantam D. and Prestwood S. (1999) A mind of one's own: a guide to the special difficulties and needs of the more able person with autism or Asperger syndrome.
• Thomsen P.H. (1994) Obsessive-compulsive disorder in children and adolescents. A 6-22 year follow-up study. Clinical descriptions of the course and continuity of obsessive-compulsive symptomatology . European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Vol. 3 , pp. 82-86.
• Thomsen P.H. (1999) From thoughts to obsessions: obsessive compulsive disorder in children and adolescents. London: Jessica Kingsley.
• Wing L. (1996) The autistic spectrum: a guide for parents and professionals. London: Constable.
• Wing L. and Shah A. (2000) Catatonia in autistic spectrum disorders. British Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 176 , pp. 357-362.
• Zaw F. K. et al (1999) Catatonia, autism and ECT . Developmental Medicine and Child Neurology, Vol. 41 , pp. 843-845.

Children on the Autism Spectrum and Social Phobia

The diagnosis of social phobia in Aspergers and high-functioning autistic (HFA) kids emphasizes the following:
  1. A youngster with social phobia must show the capacity for age-appropriate social relationships with familiar people, and his/her anxiety must occur in peer contexts, not just with grown-ups.
  2. Due to limitations of cognitive and perceptual skills, Aspergers and HFA kids with social phobia need not recognize that their fear in social situations is excessive or unreasonable.
  3. The anxiety brought on by social situations may be evidenced by crying, tantrums, meltdowns, freezing, shutdowns, or shrinking from social situations with unfamiliar people.
  4. There must be evidence of the social fears existing for a minimum of six months.

Developmental Pathways to Social Phobia—

1. Genetic factors: Taken as a whole, studies using twins to determine whether genetics play a significant part in the development of social phobia are inconclusive. Some twin studies have examined the heritability of shyness and social fears rather than the clinical disorder social phobia. Overall, these studies suggest that genetics play a modest to moderate role in the development of symptoms and temperamental traits associated with social phobia.

Studies examining the rates of social phobia in the offspring or in other first-degree relatives of socially phobic people show that social phobia rates in relatives are higher than in the relatives of people with other anxiety disorders or no disorder. Overall, these studies suggest that social phobia is at least moderately familial and possibly specific in its transmission. However, family studies cannot specifically sort-out the relative contributions of genetic influences and family environmental influences on the development of a disorder. Thus, the mechanisms behind this familial connection in social phobia still need clarification.

2. Normative developmental factors: Kids as young as 6 months through 3 years of age commonly show anxiety in the forms of stranger and separation anxiety. Some young kids, when confronted with a new social situation, throw tantrums, cling to a familiar person, avoid contact, refuse to take part in group play, and become overly vigilant. By late childhood and early adolescence, kid's fears of social evaluation of academic and social performance are forefront. Although at some point during their adolescence all youth will experience some level of anxiety about being judged in school or social situations, obviously not everyone goes on to develop pathological levels of social anxiety (i.e., social phobia).

3. Parenting/family environment factors: Research indicates that parent characteristics and family environment (through such mechanisms as modeling of avoidant responses and restricted exposure to social situations) are likely to have at least a moderate effect on the development of social phobia in kids and adolescents. It appears likely that if the parent's own anxiety is communicated to the youngster, a cycle is established in which parent and youngster reinforce each other's anxiety.


Controlling/overprotecting and less affectionate parenting styles have been found to be associated with social phobia in adult offspring, although the cause and effect relationship between these characteristics and social phobia is unclear. A major gap in this area is research that uses kids with social phobia or kids at high risk for social phobia, and this needs to be filled before the developmental impact of parental and family factors can be specified.

4. Physiological factors: Researchers have just begun to explore the physiology of social phobia, and studies have been primarily conducted with grown-ups. When facing phobic situations, socially phobic people commonly experience such symptoms as blushing, racing heart, sweating, and increased respiration, all of which are reactions associated with the autonomic nervous system (ANS). However, the few studies that have examined ANS functioning in socially phobic people have provided mixed results.

Other research has examined the function of the amygdala, a small region in the forebrain involved in the output of conditioned fear responses, e.g., freezing up behavior, blood pressure changes, stress hormone release, and the startle reflex. Hypersensitivity in the neural circuitry that centers on the amygdala may be responsible for behavioral inhibition in kids. The application of currently developing neuroimaging technologies to kids and adolescents may prove to be especially useful in elucidating the continuities and differences between social phobia in youngsters and in grown-ups.

5. Temperamental factors: A predisposition to timidity and nervousness has been believed to be a matter of inborn temperament. The majority of recent research in the role of temperamental factors in the development of social phobia focuses upon behavioral inhibition (BI). BI refers to a temperamental style that is characterized by reluctance to interact with and withdrawal from unfamiliar settings, people or objects. In infants, BI is typically manifest as irritability, in toddlers as shyness and fearfulness, and in school age kids as cautiousness, reticence and introversion. BI includes reactions that can be seen in behavior, such as interrupting of ongoing behavior, ceasing vocalization, comfort seeking from familiar persons, and retreat from and avoidance of unfamiliarity.

BI also includes reactions that are physiological, such as stable high heart rate, acceleration of heart rate to mild stress, pupillary dilation, and increased salivary cortisol. Overall, evidence to date suggests that a behaviorally inhibited temperament may predispose a youngster to the development of high social anxiety, although BI has yet to be definitively identified as a necessary precursor to the development of the clinical syndrome social phobia.

Treatment of Social Phobia—

1. Cognitive Behavioral Treatment (CBT): Treatment from the cognitive-behavioral perspective assumes that social anxiety is a normal and expected emotion. Social anxiety becomes problematic when it exceeds expected developmental levels and results in significant distress and impairment at home, school, and in social contexts. Anxiety is assumed to be comprised of physiological, cognitive, and behavioral components.

Cognitive behavioral treatment involves specific psycho-education, skills training, exposure methods, and relapse prevention plans for addressing the nature of anxiety and its components. Psycho-education provides corrective information about anxiety and feared stimuli; somatic management techniques target autonomic arousal and related physiological responses; developmentally appropriate cognitive restructuring skills are focused on identifying maladaptive thoughts and teaching realistic, coping-focused thinking; exposure techniques involve graduated, systematic, and controlled exposure to feared situations and stimuli; and, relapse prevention methods focus on consolidating and generalizing treatment gains over the long term.

2. Social Effectiveness Therapy for Children (SET-C): This treatment is appropriate for youth ages 8 through 12 and involves 24 treatment sessions held over a 12-week period. Each youngster participates in one group social skills training session and one individual exposure session each week, with structured homework assignments serving to promote generalization of the within session experience to the youngster's real life.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

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Asperger’s Kids and Back-to-School “Separation Anxiety”

With the start of school, boys and girls begin to spend much of their day in the classroom, a place where pressures and relationships with other children can be quite stressful. While some youngsters with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) naturally greet new situations with enthusiasm, others tend to retreat to the familiarity of their home.

For some children on the autism spectrum, merely the thought of going at school – away from home and apart from parents – causes great anxiety. Such children, especially when faced with situations they fear or with which they believe they can’t cope, may try to keep from returning to school. 

It's natural for your AS or HFA youngster to feel anxious when you say goodbye to him or her in the morning. Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. However, if anxieties intensify or are persistent enough to get in the way of school or other activities, your youngster may have Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD). This disorder may require professional treatment, but there is also a lot that you, as a mother or father, can do to help.



Many children with AS and HFA experience separation anxiety that doesn’t go away, even with mom’s best efforts. These kids experience a reoccurrence of intense separation anxiety during their elementary school years or beyond. If you see any of the “red flags” listed below, and your interventions don’t seem to be enough, it may be necessary to “take the bull by the horns” and help your son or daughter by implementing a different set of interventions listed later in this article:
  • Withdrawal from friends, family, or peers
  • Refusing to go to school for weeks
  • Constant complaints of physical sickness
  • Excessive fear of leaving the house 
  • Preoccupation with intense fear or guilt 
  • Age-inappropriate clinginess or tantrums

SAD is not a normal stage of development, but a serious emotional problem characterized by extreme distress when a youngster is away from the parent. However, since normal separation anxiety and SAD share many of the same symptoms, it can be confusing to try to figure out if your youngster just needs time and understanding – or has a more serious problem. 

The main differences between healthy separation anxiety and SAD are the intensity of your youngster’s fears, and whether these fears keep her from normal activities. Kids with SAD may become agitated when away from the parent, and may complain of sickness to avoid attending school. When symptoms are extreme enough, these anxieties can add up to a disorder.

Children with SAD feel constantly worried or fearful about separation. Many are overwhelmed with one or more of the following:
  • Worry that an unpredicted event will lead to permanent separation: Children with SAD may fear that once separated from a mother or father, something will happen to keep the separation (e.g., worry about being kidnapped or getting lost).
  • Nightmares about separation: Kids with SAD often have scary dreams about their fears. 
  • Fear that something terrible will happen to a parent or sibling: The most common fear a youngster with SAD experiences is the worry that harm will come to a family member in the youngster's absence (e.g., may constantly worry about his mother becoming sick or getting hurt).

SAD can get in the way of normal activities. Kids with this disorder often:
  • Cling to the parent: Kids with SAD may shadow the parent around the house or cling to her arm or leg if the parent attempts to step out. 
  • Complain of physical sickness (e.g., headache, stomachache): At the time of separation, or before, kids with SAD often complain they feel ill.
  • Display reluctance to go to sleep: SAD may make these kids insomniacs, either because of the fear of being alone or due to nightmares about separation.
  • Refuse to go to school: A youngster with SAD may have an unreasonable fear of school, and will do almost anything to stay home.

SAD occurs because a youngster feels unsafe in some way. Take a look at anything that may have thrown your youngster’s world off balance, or made her feel threatened or could have upset her normal routine. If you can pinpoint the root cause(s), you’ll be one step closer to helping your youngster through her fears.

The following are common causes of SAD in kids:
  • Anxiety: Stressful situations (e.g., switching schools, loss of a family member, loss of a pet, divorce, etc.) can trigger SAD. 
  • Over-protective parent: In some cases, SAD may be the manifestation of the mother’s or father’s own anxiety—moms and dads and kids can feed one another’s anxieties. 
  • Change in environment: Changes in surroundings (e.g., a new house, school, or daycare situation) can trigger SAD. 

For AS and HFA kids with Separation Anxiety Disorder, there are steps parents can take to make the process of separation easier:

1. Be ready for transition points that can cause anxiety for your youngster (e.g., going to school, meeting with friends to play). If your youngster separates from one parent more easily than the other, have that parent handle the drop off.

2. At times of stress at school, a brief phone call (e.g., a minute or two) with a parent may reduce separation anxiety.

3. Develop a “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a goodbye kiss. 

4. Educate yourself about SAD. If you learn about how your youngster experiences this disorder, you can more easily sympathize with his or her struggles.

5. If a school-related problem (e.g., a bully, an unreasonable teacher, disgust of school cafeteria lunches) is the cause of your youngster's anxiety, become an advocate for your child and discuss these problems with the school staff. The teacher or principal may need to make some adjustments to relieve the pressure on your youngster in the classroom, cafeteria, or on the playground. 

6. Remember that every good effort, or a small step in the right direction, deserves to be praised. Use the smallest of accomplishments (e.g., going to bed without a fuss, a good report from school) as reason to give your youngster positive reinforcement. 

7. Help your youngster develop independence by encouraging activities with other kids outside the home (e.g., clubs, sports activities, overnights with friends, etc.). 

8. Find a place at school where your youngster can go to reduce anxiety during stressful periods. Develop guidelines for appropriate use of the “safe place.”

9. If the school can be lenient about late arrival at first, it can give you and your youngster a little wiggle room to talk and separate at your youngster’s slower pace.

10. If your child has missed several days of school due to separation anxiety, initiate a plan for him to return to school immediately. This may include gradual reintroduction with partial days at first. The longer he stays home, the more difficult his eventual return will be. Explain that he is in good health and his physical symptoms are probably due to concerns he has expressed to you (e.g., grades, homework, relationships with educators, anxiety over social pressure, legitimate fears of violence at school, etc.). Let him know that school attendance is required by law. He will continue to exert some pressure on you to let him stay home, but remain determined to get him back in school. Recruit school staff (e.g., school nurse) to help with this.

11. Keep calm during separation. If your youngster sees that you can stay cool, he is more likely to be calm, too.

12. If you allow your youngster to stay home, be sure he is safe and comfortable, but he should not receive any special treatment. His symptoms should be treated with consideration and understanding. If his complaints warrant it, he should stay in bed. However, his day should not be a holiday. There should be no special snacks and no visitors, and he should be supervised. 

13. Keep familiar surroundings when possible, and make new surroundings familiar (e.g., have the sitter come to your house; when your youngster is away from home, let her bring a familiar object).

14. Leave without fanfare. Tell your youngster you are leaving and that you will return, then go – don’t hang around.

15. Make a commitment to be extra firm on school mornings whenever your child begins to complain about her symptoms. Keep discussions about physical symptoms or anxiety to a minimum. For example, do not ask her how she feels. If she is well enough to be up and moving around the house, then she is well enough to attend school. When in doubt, err on the side of sending your youngster to school. 

16. Listen to and respect your youngster’s feelings. For kids who might already feel isolated by their disorder, the experience of being listened to can have a powerful healing effect.

17. Minimize scary television shows and movies. Your youngster is less likely to be fearful if the shows you watch are not frightening.

18. Offer choices as much as possible. If your youngster is given a choice or some element of control in an activity or interaction with a grown-up, she may feel more safe and comfortable. 

19. Place a note for your youngster in his lunch box or locker. A quick “I love you!” on a napkin can reassure a SAD youngster.

20. Practice separation. Leave your youngster with a caregiver for brief periods and short distances at first. 

21. Provide a consistent routine for the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of predictability for kids with separation anxiety. If your family’s schedule is going to change, discuss it ahead of time with your AS or HFA youngster. 

22. While you may try to manage separation anxiety on your own, if your child's fretfulness lasts more than a few weeks, you and your child may need professional assistance to deal with it. First, he should be examined by your doctor. If his anxiety persists, or if he has chronic or intermittent signs of separation difficulties when going to school (in combination with physical symptoms that are interfering with his functioning), your doctor may recommend a consultation with a psychiatrist or psychologist. Even if your youngster denies having negative experiences at school or with other kids, his unexplainable physical symptoms should motivate you to schedule a medical evaluation. 

23. Schedule separations after naps or meals. AS and HFA kids are more susceptible to separation anxiety when they’re tired or hungry. 

24. Set limits in a compassionate way. Let your youngster know that although you understand his feelings, there are rules in your household that need to be followed.

25. Support your youngster's participation in activities. Encourage him to participate in healthy social and physical activities.

26. Talk about the problem. It’s very healthy for kids to talk about their feelings. They don’t benefit from “not thinking about it.” Be empathetic, but also gently remind your youngster that she survived the last separation.

27. Try not to give in. Reassure your youngster that he will be just fine. Setting some healthy limits will help the adjustment to separation.

28. If your youngster's anxiety is severe, she might benefit from a step-wise return to school. For example: 
  • On day one, she could get up in the morning and get dressed, and then you could drive her by the school so she can get some feel for it before you return home with her.
  • On day two, she could go to school for just half a day, or for only a favorite class or two.
  • On day three, she could return for one full day of school within that week.
  • The following week, she could attend school for three of the five days.
  • The week after that, she could attend on all five days.

Moms and dads should be concerned if their AS or HFA youngster regularly complains about feeling sick or often asks to stay home from school with minor physical complaints. Not wanting to go to school may occur at any time, but is most common in kids 5-7 and 11-14 (times when they are dealing with the new challenges of elementary and middle school). AS and HFA kids may suffer from a paralyzing fear of leaving the safety of their home. Their panic and refusal to go to school is very difficult for moms and dads to cope with, but these fears and behavior can be successfully managed by using the steps listed above.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

The Distinction Between Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) often communicate their internal experiences and emotional states in ways that may di...