My ASD Child

The partner with Aspergers (high functioning autism) can manifest a wide range of varying behaviors with varying intensities. However feedback from their partners in marriage suggests there are many common threads in their experience of marriage. Below is a list of some common characteristics of the marriage experience and of the partner with Aspergers, as described by members of our website: • A tendency to correct and instruct those around them. • After marriage the partner with Aspergers often seems to lose motivation to keep working on the quality of the relationship as though the wedding day has “completed” their pursuit, allowing them to pursue other interests. • An essential need to have things done in a prescribed manner or order. • Apparent evidence that the partner with Aspergers is not “reading” situations or people intuitively and is consequently behaving insensitively or inappropriately for the circumstances. • Interests and hobbies of some par...

Question My husband was recently diagnosed with Aspergers. He graduated from college, but his self-absorption, social awkwardness and rigid behaviors have negatively affected our marriage. Is there hope for our relationship? Answer If there is one word that describes the reaction of a family member to the diagnosis of Aspergers (high functioning autism) in someone you love, that word is loneliness. Certainly it is not easy to bridge the communication gap that exists in the everyday life which you describe. It is important to look at the history of your relationship. You must have had good times together and shared positive feelings about each other. Try to recapture whatever glimmers of that you can of what brought you together. You may benefit from consultation with a mental health professional who is experienced in helping people in your kind of situation. Even if your husband won't go with you, you may gain some insight into the relationship that will help you re...

Adolescence is full of challenges – especially if a teenager has to deal additionally with the Aspergers condition. The change is fast, everywhere, and hard to keep up with: The body changes in response to increasing levels of sex hormones; the thinking process changes as the youngster is able to think more broadly and in an abstract way; the social life changes as new people and peers come into scope. Yet the youngster needs to deal with every single one of these changes, all at the same time! With their willingness to help, that’s where the parents come in, who have "been there", with the life experience, maturity and resources. So, how can parents help? Recognizing the complex and sometimes conflicting needs of an adolescent would be a good point to start. Teenagers yearn to develop a unique and independent identity, separate from their moms and dads. Yes, they love their parents, but they don’t simply want to follow their footsteps. They challenge their parents ...

Question I'm curious about messy eating and chewing on stuff ...pencils, toys, paper, wood ...you name it, he'll put it in his mouth. Answer Eating non-food items is referred to as pica. These items may include, but are not limited to dirt, paint chips, coffee grounds, hair, paper, sand, and cigarettes. For a true diagnosis of pica, the child should be craving and eating these things for at least a month. Although common in infants and toddlers, most children outgrow pica by the time they are about three years old. Pica is also more common with other disorders, such as autism, and other developmental disabilities. 10 to 20% of children may suffer from pica at some point during childhood. Pica is also common during pregnancy. Though, the specific cause of pica is unknown, there are a lot of theories prevalent trying to explain its cause. Most commonly it is suspected that emotional disturbance and deficiencies of iron or zinc may lead to this condition (H...

"Why does my Aspergers teen reject everything I say? Why is he so argumentative and defiant?" These are some of the many questions you, as a parent of a rebellious Aspergers (high-functioning autistic) teen, might be asking yourself right now. The teenage years can be a very rough time for both the teen and the parent – especially when you consider the challenges that are part of the Aspergers condition. Why do Aspergers teens rebel? It's normal for any teenager to show a little bit of rebellion now and again. However, teenage rebellion that is constant, interferes with normal daily functioning, and is destructive calls for much more attention. Aspergers teens rebel for a variety of reasons: Peer pressure - Some forms of rebellion can begin with pressure from peers to join in various destructive behaviors. Independence - These years are a constant struggle between dependence and independence. Rebellious adolescents want to have total independence and pr...

Older Aspergers (high functioning autistic) kids (19-years-old and up) are moving back home – or have never left! Why is this?  Between a troubled economy, crushing student loan debt, and social skills deficits that are part of the Aspergers condition, grown Aspergers kids are moving home at ever-increasing rates – or they have never left! It's hardly surprising that a mixture of emotions (e.g., anger, anxiety, and possibly joy) flows when junior moves back home. If you're still trying to decide if this step is right for you, the "Are You Ready for a Refilled Nest?" quiz may help (located at the bottom of this article). But if you've already taken the plunge, it may be helpful to understand where the boomerang trend and its accompanying emotions are coming from, and the issues most likely to arise. House Rules— Moms and dads love their children. They want the best for them. When they see their children clearly making mistakes and bad choices, the...

Kids with Aspergers (high functioning autism) have difficulty in communication, a wish for everything to stay the same, and sticking to their favorite routines. They can get very angry and upset if something unexpected happens or when they do not understand what they are told or what is expected from them . Their frustration levels are much higher and even the slightest thing can set them off. To outsiders their sometimes violent tantrums seem to be without a cause. As a grandparent of a boy with Aspergers, I know from experience there is always a reason for him to express his frustration in such a way. Typically, rages in Aspergers kids occur when the youngster has experienced a maximum sensory overload and can no longer interpret the environment stimuli occurring around them. The rages and outbursts may occur because of miscommunication between your youngster and another youngster, or when your youngster is simply not able to interpret the communication occurring in their e...