Married To An Aspie: 25 Tips For Spouses
If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a ...
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My whole life is trouble in jobs. I've had so many jobs I've lost count. I went through the "counseling circuit" over the years because i always knew something was wrong. I gave up on that because the sessions would inevitably lead into a "diagnosis" that never seemed to fit how I really was. My whole life has been about missing information. It
s like everyone else always knows what is going on, but I struggle to keep up and can never figure out where I miss the information to begin with. As a child I had a hard time talking with people. I wanted to talk really bad but I couldn't get any "conversation" going. People just thought I was "shy". I learned over the years how to converse and can carry on conversations now, even with strangers in grocery stores.
But I still have a hard time on jobs. Right now I work as a night auditor for 2 nights a week but it is not enough work. I have had some good jobs in the past but, like with one, we moved.
I've never been diagnosed with HFA, but I know without a doubt that I am not bi-polar or aDHD....although I've been given these. Makes me mad because I don't have "mania" which is like never sleeping and hyperactive. I have never been "distracted" and hyperactive. So a long time ago I quit going to counseling. I guess I'm one of those people that falls thru the cracks.
My stuff isn't like all that bipolar and adhd. Mine is like (even when I was a kid) being in a room and suddenly the lights seem to magnify in intensity and every sound, like a pencil dropping on a floor and somebody coughing all simultaneously becomes almost like a chorus blending together with each note individually identifiable. Or like when I was watching Peter Jennings on ABC back one night in 1999 I could hear each word but didn't know what he was saying.
Like Don, I'm older. I am now in my 50s. I have 2 grown kids, both very good people. Somehow I raised 2 compassionate people even though I was labeled "single mom", dingy and job hopper. People think people like me are dumb, but my IQ is actually above average. My son who is an upper classman in college now (he's in communications! how ironic) and says I am a classic asperger/hfa. But knowing doesn't help that much. It helps to know why I was often the scapegoat at work, or taken advantage of, and why I am "ECCentric" which I've been told many times.
But it doesn't help other than that because I live in a constant state of stress because of the Jobs. I like "work" but hate working with all these same types of people over and over who are nazi fascists. So I am working night audit, with little people interaction. They put me up in Reservations with a 20 year old telling me what to do and humiliating me because she really didn't want me on her team. So I told them I just want the 2 nights doing audit. Hopefully I will find another job soon, because I did have a "meltdown" with that 20 year old. I try very hard not to do that, but I knew after 1 day of being with this 20 year old I was going to have to be real careful or I would have a meltdown (because these people are a dime a dozen in these little slave labor camps and once you don't go along with the "agenda" you are completely ostrasized.).
Thank you for letting me vent.