Search This Site

Characteristics of Females with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

"We think our daughter may have a form of autism due to her severe shyness, excessive need to have things just so, certain rituals she has with food, major touch sensitivity, a lot of anxiety, just to name a few. What are some of the signs to look for to help us decide if an assessment is in order?"

Females with Aspergers (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often present with a unique set of characteristics that can make diagnosing their disorder very difficult. In addition, their strengths often mask their deficits.

There has been considerable discussion among professionals about the way girls with AS and HFA demonstrate their major characteristics. Some girls have obvious social difficulties, whereas others appear to have excellent skills because they imitate the behaviors of others (often without understanding them).

There are many females who do not receive a diagnosis, possibly because, compared to males, (a) they have fairly good social skills (particularly when interacting with adults in a one-to-one situation), (b) their special interests are different, and (c) their clinical presentation is different.

Sometime during childhood, a female with AS or HFA characteristics will begin to know she is different compared to her peers. For example:

1. Due to adopting an alternative persona, she may begin to have problems of self-identity and low self-esteem

2. Due to observing and analyzing social behavior and trying not to make a social error, she may become emotionally exhausted

3. During the stress of adolescence, she may develop routines and rituals around food and a special interest in calories and nutrition that develops into the signs of an eating disorder

4. Her interests may be different to her peers in terms of intensity and quality of play

5. She may be an avid observer of human behavior and try to decipher what she is supposed to do or say

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

6. She may be extremely sensitive to the emotional atmosphere at a social gathering

7. She may be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation

8. She may be more likely to apologize and appease when making a social error

9. She may be overly well-behaved and compliant at school so as not to be noticed or recognized as a different.

10. She may be vulnerable to “peer predators” who take advantage of her social immaturity

11. She may become increasingly aware of her social confusion and frequent faux pas, and thus prefer to be on the periphery of social situations

12. She may enjoy living in a fantasy world and creating a new persona

13. She may escape into the world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, but not people

14. She may fear that her “true self” must remain secret because she is defective, thus she is almost always acting like someone else

15. She may have a pet that she views as a loyal friend

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

16. She may have a single - but intense – friendship with another female who may provide guidance for her in social situations

17. She may have a strong desire to collect and organize her toys (e.g., dolls) rather than to share her toys with friends

18. She may have an aversion to the traditional concept of femininity

19. She may have an encyclopedic knowledge of specific topics

20. She may have an intense interest in reading and escaping into fiction

21. She may have an interest in ancient civilizations to find an old world in which she would feel at home

22. She may have an interest in other countries (e.g., France) where she would be accepted

23. She may identify with a fictional character (e.g., Harry Potter), who faces adversity but has special powers and friends

24. She may not be interested in the latest craze among her peers to be 'cool' and popular

25. She may not identify with her peers

26. She may not play with her toys in conventional ways

27. She may not want to play cooperatively with her peers

28. She may prefer non-gender specific toys (e.g., Lego)

29. She may prefer to play alone so that she can play her way

30. She may prefer to play with males, whose play is more constructive and adventurous than emotional and conversational

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

31. She may suffer social confusion in silence and isolation in the classroom or playground, but she may be a different character at home

32. She may talk to imaginary friends, or write fiction at an early age

33. She may think that the way her peers play is stupid and boring

34. She may use imaginary friends that can provide companionship, support and comfort when she feels lonely

35. She may use passive-aggressive behaviors in order to control her family and/or social experiences

As young girls, many (but not all) females with AS and HFA:

1. Apologize frequently and want to please others

2. Are an expert on certain topics

3. Are determined

4. Are honest

5. Are involved in social play, but are led by their peers rather than initiating social contact

6. Are kind

7. Are misunderstood by peers

8. Are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other kids and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of AS and HFA

9. Are more aware of - and feel a need to - interact socially

10. Are perfectionists

11. Are so successful at "faking it" that they only come to the attention of a therapist when a secondary mood disorder emerges

12. Are specially gifted in the areas of mathematics and engineering

13. Are very good at art

14. Are visual thinkers

15. Are well-liked by adults

16. Become a target of teasing

17. Do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

18. Enjoy solitude

19. Have a faster rate of learning social skills than males

20. Have a single friend who provides guidance and security for them

21. Have a special interest that is more likely to be unusual in terms of intensity rather than focus

22. Have difficulty knowing what someone else may be thinking or feeling

23. Have difficulty making friends

24. Have difficulty managing feelings

25. Have difficulty showing as much affection as others expect

26. Have difficulty taking advice

27. Have difficulty with writing skills

28. Have extremely detailed imaginary worlds

29. Have imaginary friends

30. Have interests that are very similar to those of neurotypical girls (e.g., animals, dolls, classical literature), and therefore are not seen as unusual

31. Have what is classified as a "male brain"

32. Make reliable and trustworthy friends

33. Mimic or even try to take on all the characteristics of someone they are trying to emulate

34. Notice sounds that others do not hear

35. Read fiction to help them learn about inner thoughts, feelings and motivations

36. Show little interest in fashion

37. Speak their minds (sometimes to the point of being rude)

38. Still need to be directly taught certain social skills

39. Try to understand a situation before they make the first step

40. Use doll play to replay and understand social situations

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism


Jannie said...

Sounds like my son!

Unknown said...

This is my daughter, although after a couple hours with developmental pediatrics at MUSC, they would not give her a diagnosis. Proving to me that it is very hard to diagnose in girls, especially after years of them copying "normal" behavior.

Anonymous said...

Yes, many of these traits sound just like me...

Unknown said...

My 4 year old daughter also went to an assessment recently and I was told that she has the characteristics of Aspergers but that (in the two hours they worked with her one on one) she did not show them the severity in which they would be comfortable giving her a diagnosis. She happens to be at her best in highly structured activities with adults (which I told them). So frustrating!

saraleh82 said...

Sounds like my son and my mom.

Uhhhhhh99 said...

Everything here, except for maybe three or four things list, I have been described as by both parents, and both their peers and mine.

elanaoali said...

Hi all I am looking at the list above for my daughter sake as she could possibility have high function autism or just have social anxiety disorder. Why does the list sound like me? I was told that we are all on the austic spectrum. That was my daughter's physcharist treating her for her anxiety disorder.

IF this is me then I being to understand myself even better. At the moment we are waiting to see if my daughter's psychiatrist is going to assess her for autism. This would have to be with the agreement of my daughter.
So I waiting to see what happens with her. Then perhaps I will do something about me. There are lots of pluses to austism and not just all negative. Understanding yourself is part of the journey to helping yourself.

S.Fitzwilliam said...

You should add repeats last conversation in head or out loud to work out what they should have said instead. :)

Unknown said...

The weird thing is i am male with autism spectrum conditions but think i fit into the female stereo type.

Unknown said...

I have autism and i am male but fit very well with the female symp

CyndiL PhillyGirl said...

I have a lot of the characteristics outlined here but I also don't have a few. What you need to know about your AS or ASD daughter is this...we want to be accepted by our parents. My mom had no clue about what was wrong with me and I didn't get diagnosed until I was grown. I couldn't believe that I wasn't diagnosed earlier. Parents...please...if your child is stand-off-ish...look into it! My friends when I was 8 years old were older ladies and older nuns! I always wanted to be around older ladies because they understood me and interacted with me appropriately. I mimicked the children I had to interact with so that I could be more like them but I got tired of trying to be like them and secluded myself away from them constantly but I found out that I had to deal with them in order to survive in the inner city...I just wanted to hang out with the grown ups but they pushed me toward the kids who were usually older. sucked for my young ass...I did what I could and survived but not without being bullied.

Kallya of Random Death said...

Seems to me that are missing some key feature to both sexs. Like wondering, all my life I know I will suddenly care off course or stop to look at something without much thought to those i am with Or around me. And eye contact, I can mimic it but it is a big challenge and most other autistic females I know also have the issue. So a girl looking down or away would be a possible sign. I don't get why they work so hard on very general signs and ignore far more common and actually easier to detect.

Renaissanista said...

I'm angry to hear that so many foolish doctors don't understand the importance of diagnosing this. A friend told me I shouldn't label myself, when I told them that I have all the classic signs of adult female high functioning Aspergers. They think they are doing kids a favor by not "labeling" them.
Tony Attwood didn't see his son's Aspergers until he was 30 and a drug addict from years of suffering in silence. At 45, with severe PTSD, Major Depressive disordering, having been bullied, suffering an eating disorder, social phobias and 2 suicide attempts. I now know I am on the Aspergers/Autism spectrum. Though, I have no idea how to get formerly diagnosed. Fight for your children.Get them diagnosed. It's a nightmare living a life where you don't fit in and not being able to explain why to others. I just want to be able to say this is why I feel pain you don't feel and have people get it right away. That's not labeling. That's helpful.

Luckie77 said...

Me to a Tee! I have many of the traits. Newly diagnosed and learning so much.

Anonymous said...

Feel so much that this is me. Almost 50yrs old and have always felt different. I have no idea whether it's worth trying to get a diagnosis, but a lot of this makes sense to me.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here
to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...

My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content