Adults on the Spectrum: What Other Family Members Need To Know
ASD level 1 (high functioning autism) is typically first diagnosed in children. In contrast to those with ASD level 3, people at level 1
acquire language skills normally, develop appropriately in cognitive
abilities, and tend to have higher-than-average verbal skills. The most
significant feature of ASD is the inability to interact appropriately on
a social basis. If untreated, many difficulties continue into
adulthood.
Comments
When I learned my grandson had aspergers syndrone in October 2010, I did not know what it was. I knew Sam was different from his three brothers, but that was all.
Two weeks ago, while watching Hoarders on TV, the lady said: "Emotions? What emotions?" Something went off inside of me, and I hit the Internet. Searching about Aspergers, with no emotions.
I found "me".
First grade, elementary school, my teacher hit me for not doing what I was supposed to be doing. Fourth grade..........as I was horrible at sports, my teacher, a lady, took my bat, and said loud and clear, "let me show you how to do it." The laughing from the class almost killed me.
High School: Mr. Peculiar, had to drink beer to be able to talk, had to drink beer to be able to dance, then, only certain dances.
I attended East Carolina University from 1965-1969. I never met or made one single friend.
Marriage: arguments, arguments, then some more arguments. We divorced after 32 years in 1999.
My daughters, now 43 and 39, rarely speak, and when we do, it is all superficial....and very painful to me. Why the word painful? Well, over two weeks ago, it was. Now, I think it may be less. When you know you have something, you know the name, it makes a difference. Not knowing is the nightmare.
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Medical: In 1972, I had a nervous breakdown, was put on Tranxene. What brought it on was my working conditions. I was put into a huge room with nothing but women, in low cubicles. In other words, one could be seen.
The psychiatrist in 1972 said I had a "social disorder." In 1976, another breakdown.........brought on by being asked to do something I did not know how to do on the job.
In 1995, clinical depression hit. In Duke for three weeks, zoloft did its magic and got me out. But huge side effects sexually, as there was none with zoloft. In 2000, clinical depression arrived and stayed for 9 months. Electrical shock treatments finally broke it, and paxil.
but after 10 times of the same story, especially when he interrupts everyone else to tell it again, I want to scream. He has become so childlike in things he does, that my 4 year old grandchild looks confused. I want him to feel safe and secure and well cared for, but I wonder how I will cope when I am trying to grade or work on intense lesson planning and he is still telling me the same story for the umpteenth time. I am so afraid that I will yell at him which will be horrible. We were packing some of his pictures yesterday and 6 times he interrupted to show my son (who is moving in his house) how to turn the shower on. Each time we stopped and my son went to look, but when he did it a 7th time, we said dad, we have to finish this and you already showed him. Dad cried and I am afraid that he will cry or get angry, and we did not even raise our voices. Any suggestions????
I came across your website during my research. My research is trying to measure the need of Independent Living communities for adults within the Asperger spectrum.
We started the process to open Shire House as an Independent Living Housing...we hope to open our first home by the end of the year.
I do know there is a need here in the San Fransisco Bay Area but am looking for concrete numbers here and nationwide. I'm also researching what is actually out there to fill this need and what their programs like like.
I found your website to be very helpful... wish I had heard about it sooner since most of my experience in helping/dealing with my 19 year old son came from the school, therapists and county mental health dept. Back in the early years we were all learning together.
Thank you for the wonderful service you provide and will direct young parents dealing with these issues to your site.
Sincerely, Elizabeth
My other issue is the way he bullies his younger brother into doing whatever it is he wants him to do. He is 18 and trying very hard to figure out his own life. the problem is when his brother wants something, he gets very angry until he gets it. So he just winds up going along with whatever his older brother wants.
This is just a couple of the most important issues, but there are many. I am not sure how to handle this. I have been trying so hard to help him, but I feel like I am at a point that he needs to learn from natural consequences. That being said, Should I tell him it's time for him to find a place of his own to live? He recently got a factory job in town making decent money, so he could afford it if he stops blowing his money on Pot and other things that are not a priority. But I am honestly afraid that if I push him, it might lead to him going over the edge in some way.