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School-related Anxiety in ASD Children

"My 15 year old son has just had a meltdown over exams at school today and I'm at home with him - afraid to leave him alone and go to work in case he does something silly to himself. When he loses control, he bashes walls, rants, raves and finally curls up and hides somewhere (what I consider to be the danger period where he beats up on himself). He’s a very intelligent boy …places extreme expectations on himself. I try my best to reason, but with little success."

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12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have a 12 year old daughter with Aspergers, she is so anxious and stressed about going to school and not learning anything because she's on sensory overload the whole time and has no idea what's going on, she gets no help, I'm considering home schooling, I'm a single working mum and don't know how I can work this, what are my options?

Anonymous said...

My son is only 6 and already beats himself up over not getting thing right..it is a scary thing...honey I will keep you in our prayers and thoughts..much love coming your way...if you ever need someone to just talk to I am here..

Anonymous said...

Going through somewhat of the same thing. Dr had to admit my 12 yr old son to behavior care at hospital. So my prayers go out to you. It broke my heart but its what he needs for a few days. They need to adjust his meds

Anonymous said...

We have similar issues with my 16 (17 next week) year old. She doesn't hurt herself, but totally melts down and shuts down.

Anonymous said...

He was admitted last night. It breaks my heart but he needs inpatient treatment :’(

Anonymous said...

My 7 yr old is the same ..its so scary I've been asking for help with him for so long but keep failing - we r still waiting official diagnosis been waiting 18 mth so far :-(

Anonymous said...

My 13 year-old is the same. He very seldom lets them see this at school. But @ home I get the brunt of it. He's always thinking about what he needs to do to get in to college, but he's overwhelming himself in 7th grade!

Anonymous said...

My 10 year old is the same way. I always say that he is his own worst critic. My son places unrealisti expectations on himsel. I always try to explain that he is only human but when things go wrong he will bang his head on the floor and walls and it scares me. My son was just diagnosed but I have been dealing with these issues from the beginning.

Anonymous said...

my son is 16,he's having meltowns in school,they have new clinical psychologist who thinks could be trauma but isn't sure and wants to try employees treatment,even though I have diagnosis for asperger but he told me not to worry bout them it will only label him?

Anonymous said...

if you can access the program, the secret agent society is fantastic social skills traning program. My 8yr old has just started it and after 1 session I have noticed a difference in his understanding of emotions

Anonymous said...

It's your call whether to take this advice or not but I'll tell you how I handle my son's self loathing. I learned early on that trying to sooth only made the problem escalate so I flipped it on him and agreed with him, but in a fun, silly grandiose way. [He had to understand I was kidding] When he would go on about how awful he was I'd say,"...you're right, you're the worst kid ever. Good grief how am I going to go on with a kid like you around. I think I'll just give up and move to the mountains and survive by eating bugs and snails...." You get the idea.
When I mirrored his desperate, inflated emotions he realized how inappropriate and exaggerated they were and was able to rein himself in. Every Aspergers child is different and you know your son best, mine is very intelligent, high functioning and thank God he has a sense of humor. I did this for him when he was only 4. Now he is 10 I'm not looking forward to the challenge of the teenage years.

Unknown said...

My child is 5 he has been diagnosed with severe adhd and aggression but i think he has aspergers. He has all the signs and things. He is very agressive and if he wants something he is relentless..."mom i want ice cream" he is like a broken record on repeat and DOES NOT stop until i give in or we have a yelling match....i just dont know what to do with him anymore. I love him i want him to be happy but he cant always have ice cream 24/7. I have other kids so its not fair to them not to have it in the house but im tired of fighting him. The violence is very scary especially since hes only 5....whats to come at 15 is terrifying!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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