Mother Tells Her “Aspergers-related” Story

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
My son has a very mild case of Aspergers , but I have always held him to a high standard of behavior especially in regards to other kids… you hit/bite you get a time out, privileges taken etc.

My boyfriend has 2 children 7 and 8. The 8 yr old is mildly autistic. I have 3 family members who are autistic (all on the more severe side) so I have some experience in this, so dating him didn’t phase me at first.

He does not discipline them at all. His son plays "chicken" when my 11 yr old is mowing… almost gets run over, my son swerves to miss him and runs over some flowers, and I think my boyfriend was more upset about the flowers than the fact that his son caused it by jumping in front of the tractor.

We had a bonfire, and his son kept playing in the fire, waving smoldering sticks and waving them around, running at and near the fire.....if I hadn’t said anything I believe my boyfriend would have ignored all of this even when his son tripped and almost fell into the fire, had MY SON not caught him in time.

The kicker...his son bit my son who is 11, the next day. My son did not retaliate, went to the bathroom to look at the bite and have a bit of a cry. No punishment, no time out in fact his son was allowed to play video games 2 minutes later.

My boyfriend says, he gets that way… ummm so did my kids when they were 2 or 3. My nephews were never allowed to bite, hit, and play with fire. He doesn’t want to be "mean to his kids".

I’m kinda at a loss. I saw my sister raise a severely autistic child, with the full line of issues, behaviors, and social problems.

I think it’s just lazy parenting. His son is capable of behaving… he goes to day care and school and hasn’t bitten. He doesn’t run out in front of cars or ride his bike in a dangerous manner.

My Aspergers Child

Popular posts from this blog

List of Symptoms for High-Functioning Autism

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
"Is there a list of symptoms or traits associated with high functioning autism in children? We currently have suspicions that our 6 y.o. son may be on the autism spectrum and are wondering if we should take the next step and have him assessed."    Below is a list of common traits among children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's. However, no child will exhibit all of these traits. Also, the degree (i.e., mild to severe) to which any particular trait is experienced will vary from child to child. Emotions and Sensitivities:    An emotional incident can determine the mood for the day. Becomes overwhelmed with too much verbal direction. Calmed by external stimulation (e.g., soothing sound, brushing, rotating object, constant pressure). Desires comfort items (e.g., blankets, teddy, rock, string). Difficulty with loud or sudden sounds. Emotions can pass very suddenly or are drawn out for a long period of time. Inappropriate touching of self in
Read more

The Telltale Signs of ASD Level 1 [High-Functioning Autism]: A Comprehensive Checklist

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
Below you will find the majority of symptoms associated with High-Functioning Autism (HFA), also referred to as Asperger’s. The HFA child will not usually have all of these traits. We will look at the following categories: sensory sensitivities, cognitive issues, motor clumsiness, narrow range of interests, insistence on set routines, impairments in language, and difficulty with reciprocal social interactions. Sensory Sensitivity Checklist— 1. Difficulty in visual areas: Avoids eye contact Displays discomfort/anxiety when looking at certain pictures (e.g., the child feels as if the visual experience is closing in on him) Engages in intense staring Stands too close to objects or people 2. Difficulty in auditory areas: Covers ears when certain sounds are made Displays an inability to focus when surrounded by multiple sounds (e.g., shopping mall, airport, party) Displays extreme fear when unexpected noises occur Fearful of the sounds particular objects make
Read more

Traits of Partners/Spouses with Aspergers

By Mark Hutten, M.A.
Image
The partner with Aspergers (high functioning autism) can manifest a wide range of varying behaviors with varying intensities. However feedback from their partners in marriage suggests there are many common threads in their experience of marriage. Below is a list of some common characteristics of the marriage experience and of the partner with Aspergers, as described by members of our website: • A tendency to correct and instruct those around them. • After marriage the partner with Aspergers often seems to lose motivation to keep working on the quality of the relationship as though the wedding day has “completed” their pursuit, allowing them to pursue other interests. • An essential need to have things done in a prescribed manner or order. • Apparent evidence that the partner with Aspergers is not “reading” situations or people intuitively and is consequently behaving insensitively or inappropriately for the circumstances. • Interests and hobbies of some par
Read more