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Balancing Time Between the Aspergers Child and His Siblings

Question

How can I balance things so that I spend enough time with my son with Aspergers and his siblings?


Answer

Every mother struggles to create balance in her life. Work, household chores, spouse, and kids all compete for a woman’s attention. A youngster with Aspergers (high-functioning autism) will demand attention. Other people and areas of life will fall to the wayside as the mother struggles to meet the needs of that youngster.

It is possible to accomplish the goal of a balanced home life. It will take planning and dedication, skills you already exercise every day as a mother. Here are some areas that you can work on.

Be an involved parent. Support all of your kids at school and at home. Get in the floor with them to play, watch movies, or just hang out. Talk about everything. Know what’s going on in their lives, show interest in their friends, and recognize their hobbies and special interests. Make every minute count for all of your kids.

Do your homework. Find books that will help you deal with tough issues and give you guidance on how to improve the relationships within your home.

Make therapy a family project. It can actually be fun. Spreading the work among several people will make it easier to stick to a therapy plan. It will teach your kids about teamwork, social skills, and what it means to be part of a family.

Make time for work and for play. Household chores should be shared by all. It is important for all of your kids that you keep your youngster with Aspergers involved. He needs to learn these important life skills and his siblings need to experience a home of fairness. On the other hand, make sure you schedule plenty of structured and free playtime. Your kids need to play together. Your typical kids will learn the value of tolerance while your youngster with Aspergers will learn those important social skills.

Schedule time with each youngster. One-on-one time is invaluable for building your kid’s self-confidence. Plan regular alone time with each of your kids. Encourage each youngster to talk about things that happen with their siblings. Be open and honest about Aspergers. These outings are the perfect time to answer questions the siblings may have about your youngster with Aspergers.

My Aspergers Child

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have four kids, 1 with aspergers! We have assigned a day to each child and they get 1- 1 1/2 hrs of alone time. It could be going to the library, play outside, get an ice cream, pack a picnic, go window shopping, play at the mall that has an indoor playground (I don't think they would care what we do as long as we have our "date"). It works for us to do-Monday is one, Tuesday is one, Wednesday is one, and Thursday is one. My husband and I alternate weeks! It can be exhausting to keep this going but so well worth it!

Anonymous said...

We also do one on one timewith each child with each parent. Its tough but my kids love their mommy or daddy days

Anonymous said...

I read "love languages for children" ... And figured out how each child has their bucket filled. It made a huge difference!!

Anonymous said...

It's easy to say, I know, but spending time with your son is the best thing you could do for him, and I would say for yourself as well.

Anonymous said...

When you have 4 kids all at school with fair bit of homework to do its hard getting that time for time alone with them all :(

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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