ASD and School Behavior Problems
I have a daughter age 6 who was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (unspecified) at age two. She received intensive therapy, 40 hours plus, per week utilizing various techniques. She is now 6. She is extremely friendly to even strangers, her IQ is 133… she is great with the exception of some behavioral problems. She is in first grade and is getting in trouble and being punished regularly for things such a marking on things she should not mark on, refusing to write. I need help.
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Last summer he did attend some social skills training ( 10 lessons given on Saturdays), but I did not see any benefit from these in terms of his behavior.
Although I have dozens of questions and concerns I will start with the issues that he is experiencing in the first grade. I approached the school at the start of the year with some basic suggestions that I got from our psychologist, in an attempt to be proactive, and help the teachers better connect with our son. The school seems to think that the only solution is to get special services involved in his day to day, which means that my son would have to be a coded student - something that I am not closed to, but also something that I do not believe should be the first thing we try.
Here are the disruptive behaviors flagged by the teacher:
- hands in the pants
- defiance/lack of motivation when asked to complete a task
- talking out-loud to himself
I believe my child to be very bright, the IQ test given to him last summer put him in the average range, but my theory on that is that the testing was quite long and his "lack of motivation" may have kicked in and his answers may have been affected.
He is able to read quite well, and he has a strong grasp of arithmetic while his class is focusing on topics that are much more basic. Right now his behavior is obscuring his potential from the teachers, so I need some good suggestions to help get his behavior in line, so that I can then start to work on all the other problems.
We went through a variety of pencil types, lead hardness, and different pens (although he really is supposed to be using erasable pens). Reluctantly this year, I have allowed him to use mechanical pencils (the school is accommodating and will let him use whatever he needs). The mechanical pencils seem better in terms of the scratchiness, but he is now CONSTANTLY fiddling with needing to advance or retract lead, put more lead in the pencils, and messing with separate erasers because the "erasers" at the end of mechanical pencils are useless. He starts each day with 4 filled pencils, and if one "goes bad" he is to just get the next one from his pencil bag, but that doesn't seem to alleviate the problems.
I realize that we have two separate problems--the preoccupation and need to fiddle with something in his hands that detracts from his attention (fiddle gadgets are no better-they take his attention as well), and well as the sensory issue with the pencil/pen itself. I am first trying to solve the sensory issue. I have looked at some of the autism websites and have found weighted pencils, and vibrating pencils (that still write straight). Does anybody have any experience with these products, or with anything that can help my son be physically more comfortable writing, with less scratchy feedback that drives him bonkers? He does most of his written homework on the computer (he has become a fairly proficient typist), but for taking notes in class, math, and general survival, he needs to be able to physically write. Eventually much of his notetaking will be done on a laptop, but that is not very practical for a 7th grader.
I am sorry I am rambling, but I am at my wits end. We have 2 ½ months left of school and she isn’t passing……. I don’t know where to turn at this point and don’t really know what else to do. Parenting and supporting her is a very difficult, but extremely rewarding job, but I feel like I failed her.
The meeting went GREAT today. Their tone was much more on focusing on the behavior and how to help support a positive change than a quick fix discipline.
THANK YOU!
Then when he came from school he kept at it, about the person who did the funny thing didn't get a red card..ectra. He blalmes everyone but himself which i have stated over and over again. The meltdown which was a first from coming from school.. i took him to the shower to cool off it was muggy here in New Jersey yesterday. So, he resisted but i got hiim in there. I thought it would pass but NOPE!! He kept on and on i beng his mom and concerned sat down with him and gave hiim words of advice and he would cry and cry.. so it stopped for a few hours until bedtime. Oh boy!It did not let up even though i was laying in the bed with him trying ot talk to hiim again and soothe him but he was crying so hard and then he looked at me and said . "You made me like this"! That remark came out of nowhere and it nhit me between the heart!
I cried myself though without him knowning. My response was God made you like this because he didn't want to make you a boring person. He looked at me but i was caught off guard. So yes he put the blamed on me! Guilty yes. Not that i should be. I feel bad for the pain that he is ging through now as a 5th grader. I feel for my son i want him to progress and follow hs aide's instructions. He is a very, very smart boy, he is in a general education and he has thrived from wehre he was before. Please help me. I don't know what else to do?