How To Get Other Family Members To Accept Your Child's Diagnosis

"I'm a stay-at-home mom. My husband works out of town and is only home on weekends. My question is how can I get my husband and in-laws to accept our daughter’s diagnosis? They claim I am just 'making this up' and that it's really a behavior problem with her – not a 'disorder'."

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6 comments:

  1. Sharing these blogs with my family through facebook and email has really helped them understand aspergers. It hurts to have family members believe that you are a bad parent because they see poor social skills in your child. Remember not to take comments personal. You know your child best and are doing what you can so you are a great parent.

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  2. Stephanie Moore I use to think if I heard one more time "don't you think he'll grow out of it" I'd scream. I've realized over the years that sometimes you just need to let people know that it's rough and you need some support. By being willing to speak openly about some of the issues we face, I believe you can raise awareness and help other to understand.
    about a minute ago · Like

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  3. Theresa Van Poucke-Shanahan My family are so old school....they say unbelievable things such as, there is nothing wrong with him that a good beating wouldn't cure, you are just spoiling him, put your foot down and the worst one....you are not a good parent. Their negativity has turned me against them.
    17 hours ago · Like

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  4. Well, I grew up in the stone ages before anybody knew anything about Aspergers. During my son's evaluation process, I realized that I fit the diagnositic criteria for Aspergers as well. But my parents and teachers were clueless about what my deal was. I can attest that my Aspergers traits have caused a great degree of pain and confusion in my life. As a child, though nobody discussed these issues with me, I noticed that I was different. I struggled with handwriting and wondered why I had so much more trouble with it than the other kids. I could read just fine, but when I read aloud in class, I struggled terribly because I could not coorinate those different areas of my brain like the other kids. I never understood why the other kids didn't want to play with me....and it hurt....deeply!!! My son on the other hand has had a tremendous amount of help with social skills and handwriting. He understands that he is highly intelligent in some areas and needs to work harder in others...and that he is a wonderful person with much to offer. He is SO MUCH BETTER OFF because we understand what is going on with him and HE GETS HELP APPROPRIATE TO HIS DIAGNOSIS!!! He has confidence and self-esteem far beyond what I had at his age and he is much better off! Theresa, I pray that your family can grow to understand that one size does not fit all when it comes to dealing with handling behavior of children. Aspergers children do need discipline ( like any child. BUT it is important to understand the intend of behavior and how well that particular child manages it. For example, now that I understand Aspergers better, I know that I have to make sure my son really is hearing me when I ask him to do a chore. If he is absorbed by visual stimuli, he can be oblivious to auditory input. Before he gets in trouble for not doing something, I have to ensure that he really did understand what I was asking of him. So a diagnosis can be crucial in discovering better ways to handle a child.

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  5. Theresa Van Poucke-Shanahan
    Hi Deborah...Brian does have a diagnosis of Aspergers. He just turned 8....we got the diagnosis when he was 6. It has been a difficult road but I focus on my son strong points. My child amazes me everyday. I am so proud of him. We do continue to work on areas that are very difficult for him.....but continue we do. I see so much potential in Brian, it is there, but anger, behavior and anxiety are every present. We have strategies and sometimes it works, but we keep moving ahead. Brian will start grade 3 and I am very impressed with the team that will be working with him. I am hoping and praying for the best. Regarding the comments I made about my family, it hurts, they know he has Aspergers but the don't believe me. My mother states "those doctors don't know what they are talking about" So...I give up when it comes to them, but I am continually advocating for Brian and will never stop. I feel truly sad for your ordeal growing up. I truly feel your pain. Take Care and be well.
    3 hours ago · Like

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  6. I really liked the article, and the very cool blog

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