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Defiance in Teens with Aspergers & High-Functioning Autism

"My son (high functioning autistic) is now 13 ...he was diagnosed at the age of 8. All of a sudden he is acting out, cussing all the time, lying, being disrespectful and verbally abusive, and has an overall grumpy attitude. Are these years the hardest, or is this just the beginning? When he finally hits puberty, will things get better?"

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Anonymous said...

My son is 11 and we are starting to have some 'disrespect' issues. Sometimes it's hard to tell if it's normal tween hormones, or part of the Aspergers. Hang tough! We are taking away is favorite things, like his DS.

Anonymous said...

My son is 10 and having attitude & disrespect issues as well. Remember their 'authority' issues come into play - I take away his ps3 - that usually works.

Anonymous said...

My son is 14 and disrespect is a huge problem and he just doesnt care he tells me take away everything I dont care and he deosnt but @Mitze I feel the same way cant tell if its Aspergers or acting up teenager. hes very angry and has braces and refuses to brush his teeh he tells me I wasted my money some days Im at my wits end.

Anonymous said...

my daughter was diagnosed same as your son. what i have may be a lie to us, but it is reality to them. they see things in black and white much like a young child, and cannot handle abstract thinking. therefore, if it is said, it did happen. therefore, it is important to stick to the facts when dealing with them. experience tells me it is going to get worse before it gets better. the cussing is probably frustration and rebellion. good luck!

Terry Dupuy said...

My 14 yr old was diagnosed 4 yrs ago as Aspergers. One recommendation is seeking a child psychiatrist and look into rispidol. It is prescribed for irritability in autistic persons. It has made a night and day difference in his outbursts and frequency of "meltdowns." I am not usually an advocate of medication... but this one certainly has made a difference.

Anonymous said...

I think that is more to be caused by adolescence than Aspergers.

Anonymous said...

My lad is 13 n puberty has hit hard n he is like the devils child when he has meltdowns.....ten times worse than when he was younger.

Anonymous said...

When myson. Turned 12 i actually took him off all his meds abd he did great for almost two years. Even getting straight a at school. Then he suddenly began lying and angry all the time. The doc blamed it on puberty. I refused to believe it and fought with him for months until he became suicidal and homicital. I finally gave in and put him back on meds and he is back to his old self. No lying gettinv great grades no suicidal thoughts and even talking about a future living on his own. He will be 16 in feb. The doc blames changing hormones and im now left to agree with him. Good luck. Were all fighting the same battles

Unknown said...

My son is 17 now but until very recently we went thru some dark times. When he was around 12 he began going thru puberty and things got really rough. He started having more outbursts, horrible depression, and had more trouble at school with bullying when he entered jr high. He had always been picked on but things took a harsher more mature turn. He started having more sensory issues due to the florescent lighting and noise on the bus. A lot of these things I didn't know until after the fact. He was in such distress after school every day that I ended up home schooling him and that's when he finally made me aware of and helped me understand what was happening on a daily basis. It was sad and disturbing. So my advice is to be firm but very very patient. Try to remember what puberty was like for all of us and then imagine what it would be like with all the "extra" things aspergers brings to the table. It is an extremely turbulent few years but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep fighting the fight because the prize is worth more than gold! <3

Susan said...

My son gets extremely angry and disrespectful when asked to stop playing anot Xbox farming game.

Susan said...

He is 11 and extremely intelligent.
But so not nice when set off!

My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!

Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Children on the Spectrum

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

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Parenting Defiant Teens on the Spectrum

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Older Teens and Young Adult Children with ASD Still Living At Home

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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My Aspergers Child - Syndicated Content