My child has been rejected by his peers, ridiculed and bullied !!!
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the Aspergers child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.
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How to Prevent Meltdowns in Aspergers Children
Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and the Asperger’s child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.
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Parenting Defiant Aspergers Teens
Although Aspergers is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager with Aspergers are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the Aspergers teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.
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Older Teens and Young Adult Children With Aspergers Still Living At Home
Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with Aspergers face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."
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Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.
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Highly Effective Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children with Asperger's and HFA
Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.
2 comments:
Hello Mark,
Thank you so much for your warm welcome. I search the internet for very specific issues and have managed to get much of it from your site. My son, Sam, is 12 years old and in the 6th grade and was diagnosed with Asperger's 4 years ago. He is a gifted student with extraordinary math, science & language arts ability. He has tourettes and OCD and although had been diagnosed with anxiety from the beginning, we didn't see it as we do this year. He has recently been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety which has caused him to lose complete interest in learning in his public school setting. He has literally gone from making the High Honor roll 2 years in a row to just hanging on to D's and a few F's. And this is with my strong support with homework.
We thought we were lucky enough to have dodged the bullet so many other parents had been confronted with. This school year things seem to go from bad to impossible! It is a total nightmare, not only for him but for us. And of course, no matter how hard you try to explain to the school that he is not rude, in fact he doesn't have a rude bone in his body, they just see this disrespectful child who isn't trying and is lazy. Which until this school year, everyone would tell me what an awesome kid he was, and I that I know he still is.
The school was very understanding at first, my only goal at first was to physically get him to school and hopefully not have to receive up to 6 phone calls per day from him crying and begging me to pick him up. He has missed close to 30 days this year in total. Now that he is in school, he's expected to focus, try harder, take fewer breaks and be polite. It's become too much for him and I feel like no one cares.
Our school district is among the least compliant or helpful when it comes to special services, this has been told to me by various advocacy groups as well as legal consultants. We are trying to get him reclassified, they changed him from an IEP to a 504 at the beginning of the year and it's just not enough anymore. He needs to be in a place where he is understood and appreciated for the amazing kid that he is.
I read Asperger's Students and School Anxiety and it has been very helpful. Any other information that you can provide to me explaining the difficulties an Asperger's child has in school, would be greatly appreciated.
Sadly, we are going through EXACTLY the same thing with our 11 (12 in July) yr. old son.
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