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Educating Others About Your Child's "Odd" Behavior

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"My 8 year old son is going to begin testing in a few weeks. I'm not sure if he has high functioning autism or not, but he sure has many of the behaviors and tendencies. He does have sensory issues and severe anxiety. My question is about the constant judgment and ignorance of other parents and teachers. I do have plenty of supportive friends, but recently I've had some intense altercations with my son's teacher (saying he's only "oppositional" with me, he's fine at school and this is "something I need to work out in therapy"). Her comment was so ignorant - she knew nothing about his level of anxiety, his sensory issues or how he melts at the end of each day after just trying to hold it together. I also had another mom leave our playdate the other day because of inappropriate behavior (slamming a door b/c of frustration). She couldn't believe I let that happen. Ugh!! My parents and even husband have called me a pushover and too "s