Setting Effective Boundaries with Children on the Autism Spectrum
“I have a 6-year-old daughter, Kayla, with HFA. My husband and I are having a terrible time knowing when to set limits with her. She is often critical of herself (and me) …is a very sensitive child …it doesn’t take much to get her very upset and then she becomes aggressive. Sometimes I feel I’m being too hard on her and damaging her self-esteem. But other times I feel I’m not being tough enough which is spoiling her. How do I walk the fine line between too much punishment and not enough?” Being empathetic doesn't mean always giving your high functioning autistic daughter what she wants. But when she is being refused another handful of candy, or disciplined for pushing her brother, or trying to scratch you, the limit-setting needs to be done in a firm, but very gentle, manner. Gentle boundaries coupled with empathy and flexibility will gradually help your “sensitive” daughter be less critical of you and herself. Expand your daughter's dialogue about what comforts and