My ASD Child

Some individuals with Aspergers (high functioning autism) will choose to stay single …others will marry … some will have kids …some will have happy marriages and families …and some will not. An important factor in determining their chances of happiness is “awareness” – awareness that there are two different languages of two different worlds being spoken in the home. Anger, resentment, depression, grief, rejection, confusion ...all are experienced by both partners – unless they (a) come to the realization that each is speaking a different language AND (b) learn how to translate for each other. Empathy and emotional intimacy are often lacking in a relationship with an Aspergers partner. This doesn't mean that love is lacking, though. People with Aspergers “love” just like anyone else, but they do not understand the need for expressing love, and they don't know when and how “expressions of love” should occur (unless their non-Aspergers partner is willing to teach them).

If you are about to embark on a marriage to someone who has Aspergers (high functioning autism), there are a few things that you may need to know (some good, and some not-so-good, perhaps): 1. Although Aspies (i.e., people with Aspergers) do feel affection towards others, relationships are not a priority for them in the same way that it is for neurotypicals or NTs (i.e., individuals without Aspergers). 2. A relationship with an Aspergers partner may take on more of the characteristics of a business partnership or arrangement. 3. Although he genuinely loves his spouse, the Aspie does not know how to show this in a practical way sometimes. 4. An Aspie is often attracted to someone who shares his interests or passions, and this can form a good basis for their relationship. 5. An Aspie needs time alone. Often the best thing the NT partner can do is give her Aspie the freedom of a few hours alone while she visits friends or goes shopping. 6. An Aspie often has a