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Showing posts sorted by date for query traits. Sort by relevance Show all posts

18.12.23

Crucial Strategies for Parents of Challenging Kids on the Autism Spectrum

 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

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to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

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6.1.23

Characteristics of Females with ASD Level 1

"We think our daughter may have a form of autism due to her severe shyness, excessive need to have things just so, certain rituals she has with food, major touch sensitivity, a lot of anxiety, just to name a few. What are some of the signs to look for to help us decide if an assessment is in order?"

Females with ASD, or High-Functioning Autism. often present with a unique set of characteristics that can make diagnosing their disorder very difficult. In addition, their strengths often mask their deficits.

There has been considerable discussion among professionals about the way girls with ASD demonstrate their major characteristics. Some girls have obvious social difficulties, whereas others appear to have excellent skills because they imitate the behaviors of others (often without understanding them).



There are many females who do not receive a diagnosis, possibly because, compared to males, (a) they have fairly good social skills (particularly when interacting with adults in a one-to-one situation), (b) their special interests are different, and (c) their clinical presentation is different.

Sometime during childhood, a female with autistic traits will begin to know she is different compared to her peers. For example:


1. Due to adopting an alternative persona, she may begin to have problems of self-identity and low self-esteem

2. Due to observing and analyzing social behavior and trying not to make a social error, she may become emotionally exhausted

3. During the stress of adolescence, she may develop routines and rituals around food and a special interest in calories and nutrition that develops into the signs of an eating disorder

4. Her interests may be different to her peers in terms of intensity and quality of play

5. She may be an avid observer of human behavior and try to decipher what she is supposed to do or say

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism
 
6. She may be extremely sensitive to the emotional atmosphere at a social gathering

7. She may be like a chameleon, changing persona according to the situation

8. She may be more likely to apologize and appease when making a social error

9. She may be overly well-behaved and compliant at school so as not to be noticed or recognized as a different.

10. She may be vulnerable to “peer predators” who take advantage of her social immaturity

11. She may become increasingly aware of her social confusion and frequent faux pas, and thus prefer to be on the periphery of social situations

12. She may enjoy living in a fantasy world and creating a new persona

13. She may escape into the world of nature, having an intuitive understanding of animals, but not people

14. She may fear that her “true self” must remain secret because she is defective, thus she is almost always acting like someone else

15. She may have a pet that she views as a loyal friend

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

16. She may have a single - but intense – friendship with another female who may provide guidance for her in social situations

17. She may have a strong desire to collect and organize her toys (e.g., dolls) rather than to share her toys with friends

18. She may have an aversion to the traditional concept of femininity

19. She may have an encyclopedic knowledge of specific topics

20. She may have an intense interest in reading and escaping into fiction

21. She may have an interest in ancient civilizations to find an old world in which she would feel at home

22. She may have an interest in other countries (e.g., France) where she would be accepted

23. She may identify with a fictional character (e.g., Harry Potter), who faces adversity but has special powers and friends

24. She may not be interested in the latest craze among her peers to be 'cool' and popular

25. She may not identify with her peers

26. She may not play with her toys in conventional ways

27. She may not want to play cooperatively with her peers

28. She may prefer non-gender specific toys (e.g., Lego)

29. She may prefer to play alone so that she can play her way

30. She may prefer to play with males, whose play is more constructive and adventurous than emotional and conversational

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with ASD

31. She may suffer social confusion in silence and isolation in the classroom or playground, but she may be a different character at home

32. She may talk to imaginary friends, or write fiction at an early age

33. She may think that the way her peers play is stupid and boring

34. She may use imaginary friends that can provide companionship, support and comfort when she feels lonely

35. She may use passive-aggressive behaviors in order to control her family and/or social experiences


 
As young girls, many (but not all) females with ASD:

1. Apologize frequently and want to please others

2. Are an expert on certain topics

3. Are determined

4. Are honest

5. Are involved in social play, but are led by their peers rather than initiating social contact

6. Are kind

7. Are misunderstood by peers

8. Are more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other kids and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of autism
 
9. Are more aware of - and feel a need to - interact socially

10. Are perfectionists

11. Are so successful at "faking it" that they only come to the attention of a therapist when a secondary mood disorder emerges

12. Are specially gifted in the areas of mathematics and engineering

13. Are very good at art

14. Are visual thinkers

15. Are well-liked by adults

16. Become a target of teasing

17. Do not ‘do social chit chat’ or make ‘meaningless’ comments in order to facilitate social communication

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

18. Enjoy solitude

19. Have a faster rate of learning social skills than males

20. Have a single friend who provides guidance and security for them

21. Have a special interest that is more likely to be unusual in terms of intensity rather than focus

22. Have difficulty knowing what someone else may be thinking or feeling

23. Have difficulty making friends

24. Have difficulty managing feelings

25. Have difficulty showing as much affection as others expect

26. Have difficulty taking advice

27. Have difficulty with writing skills

28. Have extremely detailed imaginary worlds

29. Have imaginary friends

30. Have interests that are very similar to those of neurotypical girls (e.g., animals, dolls, classical literature), and therefore are not seen as unusual

31. Have what is classified as a "male brain"

32. Make reliable and trustworthy friends

33. Mimic or even try to take on all the characteristics of someone they are trying to emulate

34. Notice sounds that others do not hear

35. Read fiction to help them learn about inner thoughts, feelings and motivations

36. Show little interest in fashion

37. Speak their minds (sometimes to the point of being rude)

38. Still need to be directly taught certain social skills

39. Try to understand a situation before they make the first step

40. Use doll play to replay and understand social situations

2.10.22

Kids with ASD [level 1]: Gifted or Hyperlexic?

Parents who have discovered that their young child is "gifted" because he/she may be able to recite the alphabet at 18 months of age - or can read words by the age of 2 - may want to reassess the situation.

Hyperlexia often coexists with ASD level 1 [high-functioning autism]. Hyperlexia is not seen as a separate diagnosis; however, with current fMRI research revealing that hyperlexia affects the brain in a way completely opposite to that of dyslexia, a separate diagnosis may be on the horizon.



Children with hyperlexia may recite the alphabet as early as 18 months, and have the ability to read words by age two and sentences by age three. Many are overly fascinated with books, letters, and numbers. However, the child’s ability is looked at in a positive light, so many moms and dads delay in getting their “precocious” youngster any help because they believe that he/she is a blooming genius.

Hyperlexia has many characteristics similar to Autism, and because of its close association with Autism, hyperlexia is often misdiagnosed. The main characteristics of hyperlexia are an above normal ability to read coupled with a below normal ability to understand spoken language. Many of the social difficulties seen in hyperlexic children and teens are similar to those found in Autism. Often, hyperlexic kids will learn to speak only by rote memory and heavy repetition. They may also have difficulty learning the rules of language from examples or from trial and error.

Hyperlexic kids are often fascinated by letters or numbers. They are extremely good at decoding language and thus often become very early readers. Some hyperlexic kids learn to spell long words (e.g., elephant) before they are two years old and learn to read whole sentences before they turn three.

Hyperlexia may be the neurological opposite of dyslexia. Whereas dyslexic kids usually have poor word decoding abilities but average or above average reading comprehension skills, hyperlexic kids excel at word decoding but often have poor reading comprehension abilities.

Some experts denote three explicit types of hyperlexics, specifically:
  • Type 1: Neurotypical kids that are very early readers.
  • Type 2: Kids on the autism spectrum, which demonstrate very early reading as a splinter skill.
  • Type 3: Very early readers who are not on the autism spectrum though there are some “autistic-like” traits and behaviors which gradually fade as the youngster gets older.

The severity, frequency, and grouping of the following symptoms will determine an actual diagnosis of hyperlexia:
  • A precocious ability to read words far above what would be expected at a youngster’s age
  • Abnormal and awkward social skills
  • An intense need to keep routines, difficulty with transitions, ritualistic behavior
  • Auditory, olfactory and / or tactile sensitivity
  • Difficulty answering "Wh–" questions, such as "what," "where," "who," and "why"
  • Difficulty in socializing and interacting appropriately with people
  • Echolalia (repetition or echoing of a word or phrase just spoken by another person)
  • Fixation with letters or numbers
  • Listens selectively / appears to be deaf
  • Memorization of sentence structures without understanding the meaning
  • Normal development until 18-24 months, then regression
  • Self-stimulatory behavior (hand flapping, rocking, jumping up and down)
  • Significant difficulty in understanding verbal language
  • Specific or unusual fears
  • Strong auditory and visual memory
  • Think in concrete and literal terms, difficulty with abstract concepts
  • Youngster may appear gifted in some areas and extremely deficient in others

Hyperlexia appears to be different from what is known as hypergraphia (i.e., urge or compulsion to write), although as with many mental conditions or quirks, it is possible that this is more a matter of opinion than strict science.

Despite hyperlexic kid’s precocious reading ability, they may struggle to communicate. Their language may develop in an autistic fashion using echolalia, often repeating words and sentences. Often, the youngster has a large vocabulary and can identify many objects and pictures, but can’t put their language skills to good use. Spontaneous language is lacking and their pragmatic speech is delayed. Between the ages of 4 and 5, many kids make great strides in communicating and much previous stereotypical autistic behavior subsides.

Often, hyperlexic kids have a good sense of humor and may laugh if a portion of a word is covered to reveal a new word. Many prefer toys with letter or number buttons. They may have olfactory, tactile, and auditory sensory issues. Their diets may be picky, and often potty training can be difficult. Social skills lag tremendously. Social stories are extremely helpful in developing effective age-relative social skills, and setting a good example is crucial.

Many moms and dads have had their hyperlexic kids go through numerous evaluations, with various confusing and contradictory diagnoses applied – ranging from Autistic Disorder to ADHD, or language disorder. In other cases, there is no diagnosis applied except “precociousness” or “gifted.”

Controversy exists as to whether hyperlexia is a serious developmental disorder like autism, or whether it is in fact a speech or language disorder of a distinct and separate type, or, in some cases, it is simply advanced word recognition skills in a normal (neurotypical) youngster, especially when sometimes accompanying “autistic-like” symptoms are present.

Treatment—

The first step in treatment is to make the proper diagnosis. Then management of the condition follows. When precocious reading ability and extraordinary fascination with words presents itself in a young son or daughter – especially when accompanied by other language or social problems that might suggest an autistic spectrum disorder – a comprehensive assessment by a knowledgeable professional or team familiar with the differential diagnosis of the various forms of hyperlexia is indicated. 

5.6.22

Autism Spectrum Disorder in Kids and Teens: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS from Parents

 1. Are individuals with ASD more likely to be involved in criminal activities?

Some individuals with ASD have found themselves before the criminal justice system for a variety of offenses that are usually related to their special interests, sensory sensitivity or strong moral code. If a person's special interest is of a dangerous nature it can sometimes lead them into unusual crimes associated with that interest. The courts are becoming increasingly aware of the nature of ASD and are responding accordingly. More often than not, individuals with the disorder are more likely to be victims than offenders. Their naivety and vulnerability make them easy targets.

2. Can ASD occur with another disorder?

The simple answer to this question is YES. The symptoms of ASD have been recognized in individuals with other conditions and disorders. Once a single diagnosis of ASD is confirmed, it is wise to continue the diagnostic process to see if there is another specific medical condition.

3. Can ASD occur with ADHD?

These are two distinct conditions, but it is possible for a youngster to have both. They have specific differences, but there are some similarities, and a youngster can have a dual diagnosis and require treatment for both conditions.

4. Can the person develop normal relationships?

In early childhood, a youngster with ASD may need to be given instructions on the different ways of relating to family members, to a teacher, to friends and to strangers. Teenagers on the spectrum can be delayed in their social/emotional maturity compared to the other kids in their class. It may be necessary to repeat some school programs on human relationships and sexuality when the person with ASD has reached that stage of their emotional development. 
 
With a prolonged emotional adolescence and delayed acquisition of social skills, the person may not have a close and intimate relationship until much later than their peers. Many individuals with ASD have loving relationships, but the partners may need counseling on each other's background and perspective. One could describe these relationships as similar to those between individuals of two different cultures, unaware of the conventions and expectations of the other partner.

5. Could a difficult pregnancy or birth have been a cause?

Some studies state that quite a high percentage of cases had a history of natal conditions that might have caused damage. But, in general, pregnancy may well have been unremarkable. However, the incidence of obstetric abnormalities is high. No one factor can be identified, but labor crises and neonatal problems are recorded with a significant number of kids with ASD. There is also a greater incidence of babies who are small for gestational age, and mothers in the older age range. It is recognized that there are three principal causes of ASD - genetic factors, unfavorable genetic events, and infections during pregnancy or early infancy that affect the brain.

6. Could ASD be a form of schizophrenia?

These are again, two distinct conditions. The chances of a person with ASD developing schizophrenia are only marginally greater than for any individual. Some individuals with the disorder are wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia, when they have extreme stress, anxiety and depression related to their ASD. A false diagnostic trail is easily created and it is important to re-trace the steps and see what is causing the stress and anxiety for the person with ASD.

7. Could ASD be inherited?

Some research shows that there are strikingly similar features in first- or second-degree relatives on either side of the family, or the family history includes "eccentric" individuals who have a mild expression of the disorder. There are also some families with a history of kids with ASD and classic Autism. Should a relative have had similar characteristics when younger, they have a unique advantage in helping the youngster - they know what they are going through. There is no formal identification of the precise means of transmission if the cause is genetic, but we do have some suggestions as to which chromosomes may be involved. As our knowledge of genetics improves, we may soon be able to predict the recurrence rate for individual families.
 
==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

8. Could the pattern be secondary to a language disorder?

If a young child has difficulty understanding the language of other kids and cannot speak as well as their peers, then it would be quite understandable for them to avoid interactions and social play, as speech is an integral part of such activities. However, the youngster with autism has more complex and severe social impairments, which identify the disorder from other disorders.

9. Could we have caused the condition?

ASD is not caused by emotional trauma, neglect or failing to love your youngster. The research studies have clearly shown that ASD is a developmental disorder due to a dysfunction of specific structures and systems of the brain. These structures may not have fully developed due to chromosomal abnormalities or may have been damaged during pregnancy, birth or the first few months of life.

10. Do girls have a different expression of the disorder?

The boy to girl ratio for referrals for a diagnostic assessment is about ten boys to one girl. However, the evidence indicates that the actual ratio of diagnosed kids is four boys to one girl (this is the same ratio as occurs with classic autism). Why are so few girls referred for a diagnosis? In general, boys tend to have a greater expression of social deficits, whereas girls tend to be relatively more able in social play and have a more even profile of social skills. Girls seem to be more able to follow social actions by delayed imitation because they observe other kids and copy them, perhaps masking the symptoms of ASD.

11. How can you reduce the person's level of anxiety?

A person with ASD is especially susceptible to high levels of anxiety, and this can only be reduced by practical strategies to cope with the issues causing the anxiety. Sensory issues, social skills and the need for structure and routine can cause unbearable stress and anxiety and this increases the expression of their ASD itself, thus causing a vicious circle. Stress management programs can help minor levels of anxiety - providing a sanctuary without social or conversational interruption and using relaxation techniques.

If a person becomes increasingly anxious or agitated, it may help to start an activity that requires physical exertion (e.g., a trampoline or swing). Offering a youngster an alternative to the playground at break-time can be invaluable, and using specific ways (such as sending the youngster to the school office with a message) to give the youngster a break from the classroom. It helps if the teacher can establish a special code with the youngster with ASD, so that they can signal their anxiety without drawing attention to themselves. We recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy as an excellent way to reducing anxiety for individuals with ASD.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

12. How do you share the news?

This varies according to each youngster and their circumstances. For some it may help if the diagnosis becomes public, while for others it may be preferable that they are not distinguished from other kids. A principle of who needs to know is considered to be useful. There are classroom activities that can be used to help other kids to understand the condition, and how to help their classmate with ASD. At home, it will become apparent to siblings that a diagnosis has been reached, and it is important to explain things properly to them. There are some useful books on this topic; also, local help groups may run workshops for siblings. How do you tell the youngster themselves that they have ASD?

The answer may be to tell the youngster when they are emotionally able to cope with the information and want to know why they have difficulties in situations that other kids find so easy. It is important to give the person with ASD a sense of their many positive qualities, and to give examples of the many scientists and artists who have the disorder and have used these qualities for great achievements. Once the person knows they have ASD it can provide a sense of relief and understanding.

13. Is the person likely to become depressed?

Clinical evidence shows that there is a greater risk of depression in individuals with ASD. In early childhood the person may be less concerned about their differences to other kids. During adolescence they start to become more interested in socializing with others and become acutely aware of their difficulties. The most common cause of depression is the person with ASD wanting to be like others and to have friends, but not knowing how to succeed. Should one suspect that the person with on the spectrum is depressed, it is essential that they obtain a referral to a psychiatrist who is knowledgeable in autism spectrum disorders and obtain treatment. Treatment for depression involved conventional medicine, but should also include programs to deal with the origin of the depression.
 
==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

14. Is there a specific area of the brain that is Dysfunctional?

There is increasing evidence to suggest that the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain are dysfunctional.

15. What are the advantages of using the term ASD?

If the term ASD-Level 1 is used, it can avoid misunderstandings in relation to the use of the term autism. Many individuals have a negative association with the term autism, so it is good to use a different one. When a youngster is said to have ASD-Level 1, the usual response is "I've never heard of that. What is it?" The reply can simply explain that the youngster has a neurological condition which means that they are learning to socialize and understand the thoughts and feelings of other individuals, have difficulty with a natural conversation, can develop an intense fascination in a particular area of interest, and can be a little clumsy.

16. What are the changes we can expect during adolescence?

The physical changes of adolescence are likely to occur at the same age as for their peers, but young people with ASD may be confused by such changes. During the hormonal changes and increased stress associated with adolescence, the teenager may have a temporary increase in their expression of ASD. Moms and dads need to be supportive and patient, and remember that this is a difficult time for virtually all kids.

Some of the emotional changes of adolescence may be significantly delayed in teens with ASD, and while other teenagers are intent on romance and testing the rules, the teenager with ASD still wants simple friendships, has strong moral values and wants to achieve high grades. They can be ridiculed for these qualities, but it is important to explain that they are valuable qualities, not yet recognized by others. Some traits of adolescence can occur later than usual and extend well into a person's twenties; thus, the emotional changes of adolescence are often delayed and prolonged.

17. What is the difference between High-Functioning Autism and classic autism?

Some kids have the features of autism in early childhood and then develop the ability to talk using complex sentences, develop basic social skills and an intellectual capacity within the normal range. This group was first described as having High- Functioning Autism. It is most likely to be used as a term for those who had a diagnosis of autism in their early childhood. It is less likely to be used for kids whose early development was not consistent with classic autism. Both autism [level 3] and ASD [level 1] are on the same seamless continuum, and there will be those kids who are in a diagnostic "grey area", where one is unsure which term to use.

18. What is the difference between the disorder and the normal range of abilities and personality?

The normal range of abilities and behavior in childhood is quite extensive. Many kids have a shy personality, are not great conversationalists, have unusual hobbies and are a little clumsy. However, with ASD, the characteristics are qualitatively different. They are beyond the normal range and have a distinct pattern.

19. What should we look for in a school and teacher?

What are the attributes of a good school? Most important is the personality and ability of the class teachers and their access to support and resources. It is not essential that the teacher has experience of similar kids, as each youngster with ASD is unique and a teacher uses different strategies for each individual. It is very important to find as small-sized a class as possible, to have a quiet, well-ordered classroom, with an atmosphere of encouragement not criticism, and to have practical support from the school administration. It is important to maintain consistency for the youngster with ASD, so try not to change school unless absolutely necessary once a youngster is settled.

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

1.6.22

SUPER Important Tips for Parents of Children on the Autism Spectrum

Understanding the implication of ASD (high-functioning autism) can bring a greater level of tolerance and acceptance for those with the condition.  
 
Here are some traits and behavior patterns commonly seen in ASD:

• A youngster can be helped if parents consistently work with him and highlight his strengths and work consistently on his weaknesses.

• ASD is often detected when a youngster starts preschool. He will generally interact better with his teacher than his peers and may display silly, loud, aggressive or socially withdrawn behavior.

• Kids on the autism spectrum express their feelings in unpredictable ways. Sometimes they may seem emotionless and other times they may display extreme emotion that is not appropriate to the situation.

• Kids with ASD prefer routine and structure and can become irritable and distressed if the unexpected happens.

• Eye contact is not understood or made use of.
 

• Gross and fine motor skills are often underdeveloped, causing problems in sports and balance.

• Intense preoccupations often center on certain toys or areas of interest. Common obsessions are dinosaurs and forms of transport and how they work.

• Interrupting conversations is a common problem as the youngster does not understand the social signals that allow conversation to move from one to another.

• It is possible to teach social skills but it is a long slow process and often requires parental intervention to repair social damage when they act inappropriately.

• Many kids are perfectionists and struggle if they fail to produce perfect schoolwork. Encourage them to move on, and create distractions if necessary to get them to continue working.

• Most children with the disorder are of average or above average intelligence.

• Older kids may enjoy a club that is focused on their interest – for example, coin or stamp collecting.

• On a positive note, this aversion to rule-breaking means the youngster is less likely to experiment with smoking, drinking, drugs, and sex as he matures.

• Rules are very important and a youngster may become angry if a game is not played fairly or his peers break school rules.

• Short stories can be useful in teaching social skills. Use one page visual aids that teach about listening to others and keeping quiet and still while they talk.

• The youngster may appear cold and uncaring but it is not deliberate. He does not think about others and cannot understand the social graces that keep society functioning.

• They find it hard to generalize. If taught that they shouldn’t hit a youngster at school, they do not automatically make the connection that they shouldn’t hit a youngster in the mall.

• They have excellent thinking skills where things are concerned but are extremely poor at interpreting human relationships.

• They will often seek out other people to talk to about their interests. The conversation is usually one-sided – more like a lecture where they talk about their knowledge and aren't interested in feedback.
 

• Things are interpreted very literally, meaning that sarcasm, playful teasing and figures of speech are not understood.

There is hope for kids who have autism, and with training and support from their family and health professionals, they can live meaningful, productive lives. 
 
 

 
 
Here are some important parenting tips to implement ASAP:

1. Although it is not the youngster’s fault, he will still ultimately be the one to take the consequences of his behavior. It will help your youngster if you can explain the consequences clearly and logically when your youngster is able to listen.

2. Celebrate your child’s humor, creativity, and passion.

3. Do you want to understand the child`s actions? Just ask yourself: What behavior would make sense if you only had 4 seconds to live?

4. Don’t argue; nag; or attempt unsolicited and spontaneous transplants of your wisdom to your youngster. Instead, either a) decide that the issue is aggravating but not significant enough to warrant intervention; or b) make an appointment with your youngster to discuss the issue.

5. Especially with teens, negotiate, negotiate, and negotiate. Parents need to model negotiation, not inflexibility. Don’t worry about losing control: the parent always gets to decide when negotiation is over and which compromise is accepted. Remember: negative behaviors usually occur because the child is spinning out of control, not because he is evil. While evil behavior would need to be aggressively squelched, the much more common overwhelmed behavior needs to be calmly defused.

6. Forgive your youngster and yourself nightly. You didn’t ask to live with the effects of ASD any more than did your youngster.

7. Head off big fights before they begin. Seek to diffuse, not to inflame. When tempers flare, allow everyone to cool off. Serious discussion can only occur during times of composure.

8. If it is working, keep doing it. If not, do something else.

9. If your youngster has a meltdown, the most important thing to remember when dealing with these situations is to try to figure out what caused them. Your youngster is not doing this to intentionally annoy you; he is doing it because he has reached his limit of tolerance in whatever he is dealing with. If you feel his meltdown was caused by a change in routine, reassure him of the routine for the rest of the day and that the routine will not change the next day, if that is the case.

10. Imagine your youngster delivering your eulogy. What do you want him to say about you? Keep those bigger goals in mind as you choose your interactions/reactions to your youngster.

11. Instead of punishing wrong behavior, set a reward for the correct behavior you would rather replace it with. Rewards should be immediate, frequent, powerful, clearly defined, and consistent. Also remember that a behavior always gets stronger before it changes.

12. Keep a sense of humor. Seek to enjoy – not to scream.

13. Pick your fights. Is the issue at hand worth chipping away at your relationship with your youngster? Can your youngster really control the offending behavior at this moment?

14. Plan ahead. Give warnings before transitions. Discuss in advance what is expected, and what the results might be. Have the youngster repeat out loud the terms he just agreed to.

15. Recognize that attention issues in the youngster are only the tip of the iceberg that the whole family must address.

16. Remember that a youngster on the spectrum is still a youngster with thoughts and feelings, and that you are the adult this youngster looks to for support and guidance.

17. Remember that these young people have two time frames: Now, and Huh. There is no future. There is only now. The past is non-negotiable.
 

18. Review this text, and others, periodically. You are going to forget this stuff, and different principles will likely be needed at different stages.

19. The kids who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways.

20. The most important thing is to be consistent. Kids with ASD thrive on routine. Everything needs to be done at the same time, in the same way, every day, as much as possible, to give the youngster a sense of safety and security. When there will be a change in your youngster's routine, tell them as far in advance and explain what will happen. When you talk to your child, you should use a calm and even tone of voice, and use explicit language that says exactly what you mean. Do not make requests too complicated or ask a youngster to do things with too many steps at once. Try to keep your language as literal as possible. Try to be very verbal. If your youngster does something right, praise them for it.

21. The patient in ASD is the whole family.

22. This is hard work. It is also hard work for your youngster.

23. This is not a contest with your youngster. The winner is not the one with more points. The winner is the one whose youngster still loves them when they graduate from high school.
 

24. You do not have a standard youngster. You can view the issue as a disability. Or, you can view it as wonderful uniqueness. Or, you can view it as both. This "disability outlook" will help because it eliminates blame; sets reasonable expectations thereby minimizing anger; and points the way for parents/teachers to see themselves as "therapists" not victims.

25. You will make it through this; you have no choice.

Kids on the spectrum are for the most part bright, happy and loving kids. If we can help break through to their 'own little world' we can help them to cope a little better in society. They have a need to finish tasks they have started. Strategies can be developed to reduce the stress they experience at such times. Warnings that an activity is to finish in x minutes can help with older kids. With younger kids attempts to 'save' the task help - videoing a program, mark in a book, etc.

As the kids mature some problems will get easier, but like all other kids new problems will emerge. Some teenagers can feel the lack of friendships difficult to cope with as they try hard to make friends in their own way but find it hard to keep them. This is not always the case. Many have friends who act as 'buddies' for long periods of time. Social skills will have to be taught in an effort for them to find a place in the world ... so take all opportunities to explain situations time and time again ..... and one day.......it may work!
 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

14.2.22

Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2021

 Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2021

 

o   A Message to Older Teens and Young Adults with ASD

o   Articles in Alphabetical Order: 2020

o   ASD [Level 1]: 15 Simple Strategies for Parents of...

o   Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD

o   Can my son with ASD truly understand love?

o   Children on the Autism Spectrum and Behavioral Pro...

o   Educating Students with ASD [Level 1]: Comprehensi...

o   Employment Support for Employees with Autism Level 1

o   How Anxiety May Affect Your Autistic Child in Adul...

o   How the Traits of ASD May Affect Relationships in ...

o   How to Avoid "Negative Reinforcement": Tips for Pa...

o   How to Create a Sensory Safe Haven for Your Child

o   How to Diffuse Meltdowns in a Child on the Autism ...

o   How to Help Your Adult Child to Find Employment

o   How to Teach Organizational Skills to Kids on the ...

o   Is ASD Just a Different Way of Thinking?

o   Issues that Females on the Autism Spectrum May Exp...

o   Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder and the Associa...

o   Learning to Parent a Child with a Diagnosis of Au...

o   Low Self-Esteem and "Sensitivities to Criticism" i...

o   Message to Teens on the Autism Spectrum: What Are ...

o   Message to Teens on the Spectrum: What Does Your N...

o   Mind-Blindness and Alexithymia in Children and Tee...

o   Motivating Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum

o   Nonverbal Learning Disorder versus Autism Spectrum...

o   Parenting Out-of-Control Teens with ASD Level 1 [H...

o   Parenting Tips for Moms and Dads on the Autism Spe...

o   Parent's Concrete Plan to Avert Meltdowns in Kids ...

o   Parents’ Management of Temper Tantrums in Children...

o   Problems with "Sensory Overload" in Children on th...

o   Putting a Positive Spin on Your Negativity: Tips f...

o   Resolving School Behavior Problems in Kids on the ...

o   Rituals and Obsessions in Children with ASD [Level 1]

o   School Refusal in Children with ASD

o   Should You "Push" Your Adult Child with ASD to Be ...

o   Sleep Problems in Teens on the Autism Spectrum

o   Teenage Son with ASD has Stopped Going to School

o   The "Suicide Threat" in Teenagers with Autism Spec...

o   The Difference Between Autism Spectrum Disorder an...

o   The schools do not understand the characteristics...

o   Tics in Teenagers on the Autism Spectrum

o   Videos for Parents Who Have ASD: Help for Marital ...

o   What Your Child on the Autism Spectrum May Experie...

o   When Your Child with ASD Does Not "Bond" Well with...

o   Why Your Teenager with ASD Can Be Moody and Depressed

o   Your Child on the Autism Spectrum has Many Strengt...

o   Your Child on the Autism Spectrum May Be a Logical...

Raising Kids with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Parents' Grief and Guilt

Some parents grieve for the loss of the youngster they   imagined  they had. Moms and dads have their own particular way of dealing with the...