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Helping Asperger's and High-Functioning Autistic Teens To Cope With Life

 "I need some tips on how to deal with my HFA teenager. We're dealing with so many issues at the moment - depression, social isolation, backtalk, failing grades, and the list could go on and on here..."

Parenting adolescents brings many challenges – hormonal changes, self-identity, and the pressure of being socially acceptable, just to name a few. When you add Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism (HFA) to the equation, the element of difficulty increases significantly.

Parents can help their “special needs” adolescents, but this begins with becoming knowledgeable about what they face. Parents should learn as much about the disorder as possible and how they can support and help these young people face their challenges.

The “typical” teenager is really into his or her friends. The tools for developing social skills as an adolescent are shared experiences and conversation with peers. But, for the teenager who has poor social skills or struggles to communicate, the idea of conversation and interaction with peers is not appealing. For many teens with Asperger’s and HFA, they literally can’t think of anything they would enjoy less than “having” to be social. And who blames them? Nobody enjoys doing things they are not naturally good at.

Teens with Asperger’s and HFA are easily misunderstood. For example, one teenager might be unfiltered, blurting out the first thought that pops into his head, while another may struggle to form and express complete sentences. Both scenarios create tension for the teen with Asperger’s or HFA – as well as his peers, who may be attempting to interact. Typically developing teens sometimes react harshly in these awkward moments.

In general, adolescents don’t exactly have the market cornered on emotional maturity. They’re still developing. So, odds are high that a young person on the autism spectrum has already had a number of uncomfortable peer-encounters by the time he reaches adolescence (e.g., teasing, bullying, peer-rejection, etc.). You can see why the critically important skill (i.e., the ability to engage in age-appropriate social interaction) needed in adolescence may be the one thing that a teen with Asperger’s or HFA associates with failure.


Parenting Out-of-Control Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism 




 ==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers and HFA Teens


15 crucial strategies that parents and teachers can employ in an effort to assist teens with Asperger's and HFA:

1. Adolescents with Asperger’s and HFA are challenged with self-esteem issues. Thus, it is important to help them feel important in matters that involve them. Get them to participate by giving them the choices available, as well as understanding of the consequences behind those choices.

2. Alternate preferred activities (e.g., computer games, TV viewing) and less-preferred activities (e.g., homework, chores). Teens on the spectrum are likely to put more intense – and more sustained – effort into challenging/non-preferred tasks when they know that they can take part in a fun or interesting activity at the end of it.

3. As the mother or father facing the often overwhelming task of parenting and disciplining an adolescent with Asperger’s or HFA, it may seem that you don’t have the time or patience for allowing her to have input into decisions that concern her. And it may even seem downright scary to consider allowing her to make her own decisions. Doing so would take more time and would definitely involve some risk. But, it becomes a significant issue when adolescents feel they are disregarded in matters that directly affect them. Adolescents with Asperger’s and HFA are no different in this regard. It’s a big deal when they are made to feel important despite their disorder. An important proactive step is letting the “special needs” adolescent know that, although her needs may be a challenge, there is nothing that can’t be overcome or managed more effectively.

4. Challenged by a particular developmental disorder or not, teens want to know they are loved, supported and have encouragement when needed. This is even more important for young people on the autism spectrum. When the disorder is allowed to overshadow the significance of a teenager, it hinders him or her greatly.

5. Check to be sure that you have your teen’s attention before giving directions. However, understand that young people on the spectrum may not always make eye contact, even when they are paying attention to you. Be on the lookout for other signs of attending (e.g., alert posture, orientation toward you, stopping other activities, verbalizations, etc.). Also, include essential information in your directions that will answer these four questions for your teen: When do I do the work? What is my payoff for doing the work? What exactly am I supposed to do? How much work is there to do in this task?

6. Create a plan to help your teen to generalize his learned social skills across settings and situations. Teens on the autism spectrum are likely to need explicit programming to generalize skills that they have learned in a particular setting to other settings or situations. Teach only a small number of “key” skills (e.g., how to start a conversation, how to ask for help) at one time so that you will have enough time to work with your child on generalizing each mastered skill. After he has mastered a skill in one setting, list other settings or situations in which you would like him to show the skill. Then create a training plan to help your teen to use the skill in these novel settings. If he has mastered the task of delivering appropriate social greetings at school, for example, you might take him to a church youth group, prompt him to greet his peers, and provide praise or rewards for his successful performance. This is an example of “hands-on” social skills training, which is greatly needed with these young people. Parents and teachers should “go the extra mile” like this.

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7. Create structured opportunities for your teen to participate in social interactions (e.g., allow him to invite a friend or two over for a movie or pizza party). Asperger’s and HFA teens are often excluded from social interactions with their typical peers at school, so parents can make up for this by providing social opportunities at home.

8. Help build your “special needs” teen’s self-esteem. List-making can be an effective method for accomplishing this goal. To begin, your adolescent can make a list of at least 5 things he admires or appreciates about himself. This list can include simple things (e.g., has a nice smile), or more significant things (e.g., earning good grades in school). Each day thereafter, he continues to make a new list. These lists can include his 5 greatest strengths, 5 greatest life achievements, 5 people who love and care about him, and his 5 favorite memories. Your adolescent can keep these lists in a special place and refer to them any time negative thoughts enter his mind.

9. Helping your Asperger’s of HFA adolescent will be challenging at times, because with mood swings, meltdowns and hyperactivity, it seems you have no control – but neither does she! However, take a moment to realize that you can help her by controlling yourself. You really do your teen a great service by maintaining control, and by not allowing difficult situations to overwhelm you. Stress is contagious, so don’t spread it to your teenager.

==> Discipline for Defiant Aspergers and HFA Teens

10. Minimizing the disorder is NOT the point. Helping your adolescent to understand that he can accomplish things in spite of his disorder IS the point. Not only does this encourage self-esteem, it also provides motivation and hope.

11. Offer meaningful choices that give your teen some autonomy and control. For example, you may encourage her to select a few chores, and then allow her to decide what chore she will work on first. Also, you could allow her to choose when and where she will do her homework. Make an effort to build choices into home activities whenever possible.

12. Post a clear and predictable daily schedule. Children and teens with Asperger’s and HFA crave structure and predictability. But know that young people on the spectrum can sometimes react more strongly than their “typical” peers when faced with any unexpected change in their daily schedule. Thus, be as consistent as possible with the schedule.

13. Provide your teenager with simple strategies to engage others in social interactions. Demonstrate and model these strategies. Then give her an opportunity to try them out, and give her feedback and encouragement (e.g., role play how to approach a group and ask to join a game or other activity).

14. Use verbal prompts (i.e., pre-correction) before your teen engages in a task to promote success. Phrase your prompt to reflect what you would like to see your teen do (e.g., “Michael, please do your homework before dinner”), rather than what you would like him to stop doing (“Michael, you need to stop playing video games and get busy with your homework, because we are going to eat dinner soon”).

15. When a problem arises and you must confront your teen, keep your tone of voice calm and relaxed in spite of how you may be feeling. This “gentle” approach can diffuse a lot of situations that may otherwise be lost to conflict and anger. While every situation may not be diffused, disciplining in a gentle fashion is something that should be practice diligently with children and teens who are prone to meltdowns and feelings of frustration or anxiety.

Your adolescent with Asperger's or HFA will want friends, but may feel shy or intimidated when approaching his peers. He probably feels "different" from others. Although most “typical” adolescents place emphasis on being and looking "cool," young people on the autism spectrum may find it frustrating and emotionally draining to try to “fit in.” They may be immature for their age, and they may be naive and too trusting, which can lead to teasing and bullying.

All of these difficulties can cause these adolescents to become withdrawn and socially isolated – and to have depression or anxiety. However, with a little assistance from parents and other caring adults, even an Asperger’s or HFA teen can thrive and live a productive, happy life.


More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

 ==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 ==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book
==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
By

Traits of ASD that May Influence Criminal Behavior

“I'm currently studying law and was wanting to know what some of the characteristic features are that predispose to criminal offending for teens with [high-functioning] autism?”

First of all, let me be clear that there is little to no evidence that teens on the autism spectrum engage in criminal behavior any more than the general population of similar age. Second, the following characteristics may apply to some “typical” teenagers, not just those with ASD:

1.   Social naivety and the misinterpretation of relationships can leave the autistic teen open to exploitation as a stooge. His or her limited emotional knowledge can lead to a childish approach to adult situations and relationships, resulting in social blunders (e.g., in the mistaking of social attraction or friendship for love).

2.   Overriding obsessions can lead to offenses (e.g., stalking, compulsive theft). Harshly reprimanding the teen can increase anxiety - and consequently a reflective thinking of the unthinkable that increases the likelihood of repeating the offense.

3.   Misinterpreting rules, particularly social ones, teens on the spectrum may find themselves unwittingly embroiled in offenses (e.g., date rape).

4.   Lacking motivation to change, these young people may remain stuck in a risky pattern of behavior.

5.   For those teens who have been traumatized by teasing, rejection, and bullying from their peer group, “revenge-seeking behavior” may become their method of establishing equality (i.e., to even the score).

6.   The teen’s tendency to misjudge relationships and consequences can result in a risky openness (i.e., dangerous self-disclosure) and the revealing of private fantasies which, although no more shocking than any teen’s, are best not revealed.

7.   Impulsivity, sometimes violent, can be a component of comorbid ADHD or of anxiety turning into panic.

8.   Difficulty in judging the age of others can lead the teenager into illegal relationships and acts (e.g., sexual advances to somebody under age).

9.   An innate lack of concern for the outcome can be problematic (e.g., an assault that is disproportionately intense and damaging). Young people on the spectrum often lack insight and deny responsibility, blaming someone else, which may be part of an inability to see their inappropriate behavior as others see it.

10.   An innate lack of awareness of the outcome can lead the teen to embark on actions with unforeseen consequences (e.g., fire-setting may result in a building’s destruction).

Many of the traits listed above affect the teen’s ability to make logical decisions, thus limiting his or her level of responsibility. Whether the teen is identified as an “offender” (as distinct from someone who has committed an offense) depends on chance factors in his or her environment (e.g., effectiveness of his/her supervision, the recognition of ASD and the understanding of those around.


 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

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Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

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Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

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Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

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Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

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Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
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A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
By

Parenting Teens on the Autism Spectrum: Changes in Adolescence

"My high functioning autistic son will become an official teenager next week (13th birthday). Any advice on what parents should do differently with an HFA teen vs. a child?"

First of all, there's no need to worry. Children with ASD or High-Functioning Autism eventually go through adolescence on their way toward becoming strong, focused adults -- regardless of the misinformation you may have been fed.

While adolescence is a difficult time for all teens, it can easily be much worse for those dealing with HFA. With the right education and support, most of these young people go on to graduate from high school.

Because they tend to be loners and have odd mannerisms, HFA teens can be shunned from popular groups of kids -- and can be the focus of teasing. Even so, these teens develop feelings for others they become attracted to, though they can’t always express their feelings correctly.

This can lead to frustration and anger in the HFA teen who develops his/her first tentative relationships. They are more likely to face rejection from their peers and be left with a low self-esteem as a result.

Often, a teen on the autism spectrum fares best with one or two close friends with whom they can practice adolescent social skills and "growing up" behaviors. Even one relatively close relationship can make the difference between a depressed, awkward teen -- and one who is beginning to learn valuable social skills with a select few others.

Parents and family may need to help facilitate relationships between their "special needs" teenager and other teens his own age. Offering to have other teens overnight or taking their teen to an activity with one or two other acquaintances can help facilitate closer connections between their child and others his own age.

Having a teen "love experience" is often much more difficult for teens on the spectrum. Their tendency to want to be alone comes into conflict with their desire to be close to another person. Psychotherapy and family support can go a long way toward helping a teen with HFA get through the difficult adolescent time.




In summary:
  • With the right education and support, most HFA teens go on to graduate from high school. 
  • Teens on the spectrum fare best with one or two close friends with whom they can practice adolescent social skills.
  • Parents may need to help facilitate relationships between their teenager and other teens his own age.
  • Psychotherapy and family support can go a long way toward helping a teen with special needs to get through the difficult adolescent time.

By

TEACHING ASPERGERS TEENS TO CHOOSE FRIENDS WISELY

Research shows that the pressure to have sex, use tobacco, alcohol, and illegal drugs comes most often from wanting to be accepted, wanting to belong, and wanting to be noticed. Help your Asperger's (high-functioning autistic) teenager learn what qualities to look for in a friend, and advise him about what to say if offered harmful substances. Children who have difficulty making friends need your support to avoid being isolated or bullied. This post offers information and tips to support your child's social skills and development at a time when he is making important decisions that will affect his whole life.

Teen Popularity Tied to Alcohol, Tobacco, and Illegal Drug Use—

From cigarette-smoking James Dean in the 1950s to the current generation of rave goers, images of popularity among teenagers often have included alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. In a study at the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania, researchers found that young people connect cigarette smoking and alcohol and illegal drug use with popularity.

According to the study, young people between the ages of 14 and 22 are more likely to connect drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or pot, or gambling with their “popular” peers than their “unpopular” ones. Young people believe that cigarettes, marijuana, and alcohol are easily accessible, and many also believe that the popular kids drink and smoke cigarettes or marijuana. Since popular kids shape the norms that influence the attitudes and behaviors of those their age, this combination of popularity and accessibility is a dangerous mix.

Teens’ desire to be well-liked is not unusual, but it may lead them to make poor decisions, especially when it comes to resisting peer pressure; saying “no” to a popular kid can be tough. You can help your teen by preparing her to deal with peer pressure.

Another way to help your teen is to get to know your teen’s friends. Encourage your teen to invite his friends to hang out at your house, drive them to a movie or school event, and attend school or community events (like a football game). Meeting your teen’s friends will give you a sense of their personalities, their interests, and their family situations. Don’t be too quick to judge your child’s friends, though. Radical styles and unconventional appearances may be nothing more than a badge of identity. Besides, your teen may dismiss any snap judgments that you offer.

What Is Your Child’s School Doing About Bullying?

Bullying affects more students than many parents realize. Even if your child isn’t a bully and isn’t a victim of bullying, she may still be affected by bully/victim problems in her school.

According to Blueprints for Violence Prevention, in classrooms or schools with high levels of bullying problems, students tend to feel less safe and are less satisfied with school life. These feelings mean that for many students, especially those who are bullying victims, the classroom is no longer a place of learning. When a child feels unsafe, he can’t pay attention to his schoolwork as he should.

A classroom with a lot of bullying problems may also have other harmful effects on students. Children and teens who regularly see bullying at school have a less secure learning environment, fear that the bully may target them next, and know that teachers and other adults either can’t or won’t control bullies’ behavior. Over time, such events can lead to new bullying episodes and other problems in the classroom.

School administrators need to be committed to stopping bullying at school. The best way of addressing bullying is through broad, school wide programs. Although teachers, counselors, and parents may be able to deal with individual cases of bullying as they come up, it’s not likely to have a real impact on the rate of bullying in the school.

For one thing, bullying often is hidden from both teachers and parents. Adults typically identify less than 10 percent of bullying incidents. In addition, many teachers and administrators don’t understand the dynamics of bullying. With no training, some educators may actually support bullying behavior. They may accidentally send students the message that bullying is “part of growing up,” or simply ignore the behavior.

There are a large percentage of students who regularly witness bullying at school but don’t know what they can do to help. The most important reason for creating a school-wide anti-bullying program may be to connect and make this “silent majority” fell powerful enough to help. Programs that teach students to recognize and intervene in bullying have been found to have the greatest impact on stopping incidents of bullying and harassment at school.

To learn what you school is doing about bullying, contact a school guidance counselor or administrator. If your school does not have a bullying prevention program in place, encourage school administrators to start one. Bullying prevention programs don’t just make school better for bullies and victims; they make school better for all students.

Know Your Child's Friends and Their Parents—

A Good Result: You may wonder if any of your guidance is sinking in, but young people listen and absorb more than you think. They are likely to apply your viewpoint to their own friends and social situations. Young people consistently say that their parents are the most important influence in their lives.

A Guiding Hand: Adolescents may react negatively to any pressure or direct suggestions about whom they should hang out with. But there are plenty of opportunities to learn more about their friends. You can ask a child what she likes about a friend or what she thinks of a situation. Use examples from your own experience. Spending time together and being involved in a child's life allows communication about friends and other sensitive topics to become natural and expected. Encourage your children to get involved in activities that match their interests. Trying different activities channels an adolescent's curiosity into things that are safe and fun. Positive activities are good ways to meet friends who have positive attitudes.

A New Era: As children move into middle school and on to high school, they meet new people and experience changes in style, outlook, and social life. Don't be surprised to see major shifts in your child's fashion sense, the movies she watches, and the music she listens to. As your adolescent develops her new identity, she may challenge the way things are done and may see little need for advice and direction. Disappearing into her room, spending endless hours on the phone, and hanging out with friends—often new friends—are behaviors that signal a whole new scene.

Peer Influences: As a child begins to declare his independence, his social circle may provide new views about what's right, acceptable, "cool," or "hip." Unspoken expectations as well as direct encouragement can sway an adolescent's behavior as well as his attitudes. The youth scene inevitably includes issues of drinking, smoking, and illegal drug use. When a young person has friends who engage in these activities, it becomes easier for her to believe that such conduct is normal. Besides, adolescents tend to think nothing bad can happen to them. As a result, a child may be inclined to go along with the crowd. She may try a substance that not only is dangerous, but also can get her in trouble. Remember, tobacco and alcohol use are against the law for adolescents.

A Watchful Eye: Young people often are so focused on their personal world of friends and activities that parental influence may seem to be squeezed out. But you can do a lot to help your adolescent take the right social cues.

Get to know the friends' parents. If you haven't met them, give them a call. Ask what their expectations are regarding curfews, sleepovers, and entertainment. Share your rules and views. Invite the friends' parents to contact you with any questions or concerns regarding the adolescents' behavior or to clarify arrangements for their activities. Doing so will add to your impressions of your child's friends. It will help you know where your child is, whom he is with, and how (or if) he is being supervised when he's not at home.

Getting to know a child's friends is a good place to start. Meeting them will give you a sense of their personalities, what they are "into," and their family situations. Don't be too quick to judge a child's friends, though. Radical styles and unconventional appearances may be nothing more than a badge of identity. Besides, your child will dismiss any snap judgments that you offer.

Welcome your child's friends into your home. Encourage your child to invite them over. Talk with them. Offer to drive them home or to drop the group off at a party, the movies, or a school event.

Preparing Youth for Peer pressure—

It's more than just a phase that young people go through. Whether it leads to pink hair or body piercing, peer pressure is a powerful reality and many adults do not realize its effects. It can be a negative force in the lives of children and adolescents, often resulting in their experimentation with tobacco, alcohol, and illegal drugs. Parents often believe that their children do not value their opinions. In reality, studies suggest that parents have tremendous influence over their children, especially teenagers. No matter the age of their children, parents and caregivers should never feel helpless about countering the negative effects of peer pressure. Here are what parents can do:

Teach young people how to refuse offers for cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Making children comfortable with what they can say goes a long way. For instance, shy children and adolescents might be more comfortable saying, "no thanks," or "I have to go," while those who are more outgoing might saying something like, "forget it!" or "no way!" No matter what approach parents choose, it is important for them to role-play peer-pressure situations with their children.

Talk to young people about how to avoid undesirable situations or people who break the rules. Children and adolescents who are not in situations where they feel pressure to do negative actions are far less likely to do them. Likewise, those who choose friends who do not smoke, drink, use drugs, steal, and lie to their parents are far less likely to do these things as well.

Remind children that there is strength in numbers. When young people can anticipate stressful peer pressure situations, it might be helpful if they bring friends for support.

Let young people know that it is okay to seek an adult’s advice. While it would be ideal if children sought the advice of their parents, other trusted adults can usually help them avoid most difficult situations, such as offers to smoke, drink, or use drugs.

Nurture strong self-esteem. Strong self-esteem helps children and adolescents make decisions and follow them, even if their friends do not think some choices are "cool." Some ways parents can do this include being generous with praise, teaching children how to perceive themselves in positive ways, and avoiding criticism of children that takes the form of ridicule or shame.

Teach Your Child Refusal Skills: Your child faces a number of tough decisions in her life. Since making friends and fitting in are important to many children, peer pressure has a big impact on decisions, especially on those about drug, alcohol, and tobacco use. Children may be afraid that if they say no to something harmful, they won't be accepted. It is important that you teach your child about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Other important skills your child needs are refusal skills. If you teach her how to say no to dangerous situations, she will feel more confident in her decisions. There are a number of ways your child can refuse drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Following is a guide for teaching your child refusal skills.

Ways To Say No—

Assert yourself. This is an important part of all the above tactics. If your child can stick up for herself, she is learning an important life skill. Being able to state your position assertively is a trait that we value in adults, so if your child learns it now, she will be better off in the future.

Be a broken record. Tell your child to keep saying no as many times as he needs to, either to cause the person pressuring them to stop, or to stall until he can think of something else to say.

Change the subject or suggest doing something else. By saying, "Let's do ____ instead," your child has the potential to not only refuse an offer of drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, but to prevent a friend from using them too.

Give a reason. This reason could be simply, "I'm not allowed to do that," or, "That's bad for you." It could state the consequences, such as, "I don't want to do that; it will make me sick," or, "You can die from doing that." The important thing is that your child states her reason for saying no with confidence. It's important for your child not to get into an argument; the goal is to refuse what is being offered.

Say, "No, thanks." It could be just as easy as that! However, if the person offering the cigarette, beer, or joint persists, your child will have to back up her "No thanks" with other tactics.

Walk away or ignore the offer. This doesn't work in all situations. Sometimes your child will be alone or in some other situation where he can't walk away.

Remember, the best way to refuse drugs, alcohol, and tobacco is to spend time with people who don't use these substances. Help your children establish positive friendships, and monitor your child's activities.

==> The Aspergers Comprehensive Handbook
By

Insomnia in Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder

"Any advice on what to do for a teenager with ASD who has severe insomnia?"

According to the research, insomnia is a significant problem for ASD (high functioning autistic) teens compared to "typical" teens. Whether it is due to anxiety, noise, caffeine, or physical discomfort, these tips may help your teenager get a good night’s sleep:

1. Avoid caffeine, especially after 12:00 PM. Some ASD teens are sensitive to caffeine. It's highly unlikely for these young people to have a caffeine habit (e.g., Mountain Dew) and not be an insomniac.

2. Weighted blankets and soft sheets are a must.

3. Quiet blankets are supportive of a good night’s rest as well. A crackly sheet or comforter can wake the “light sleeping” teenager with the slightest movement.

4. Does your son or daughter scratch a lot at night? He or she is probably allergic to the detergent, or you may be putting too much soap in the wash and not getting a clean rinse.

5. Chamomile tea has been found to be helpful with sleep. The chamomile flower contains relaxants. At bedtime, have your teen drink a cup of pure chamomile (not the blends with peppermint or honey, which have stimulants that will be at cross purposes with the chamomile).

6. Do away with digital alarm clocks. They stare at the your teenager with bright red numbers, telling him how many hours and minutes until he has to get up for school. Digital clocks tend to raise the anxiety level of the teen. However, your teen should have a clock handy so he doesn’t have to get out of bed to check it. Cell phones or laptops nearby can do the trick.

7. Have some “downtime” before bed. Autistic teens need one hour of downtime for every hour of socializing, and this is especially true at night. Unlike most adolescents, teens with ASD can't just turn off the T.V., walk into the bedroom, and fall face first into bed, passed out like a drunken sailor. They need to engage in their rituals and routines and bring their adrenalin levels back to normal.

8. Earplugs will deaden noise, and although some teens say they don't like the feel of them, there are different shapes, materials and sizes. Most teens with ASD tend to prefer the medium size foam ones – although they almost always do fall out at some point – so keep an extra set handy so you don't have to scramble to find them in the middle of the night. Noise-canceling headphones are a good alternative to ear plugs.

9. Light cardio and fresh air are good precursors to good sleep. The teen may be lethargic or mentally exhausted if he has been sitting at the computer playing video games for 3 hours. Going for a short walk and getting some fresh air serves as a “pre-bedtime” relaxation exercise.

10. Lavender has been shown by researchers to usher in and improve the quality of sleep. You can use essential oil in an infuser, dried lavender in a sachet, or fresh lavender in a vase. Aromatherapy, in general, can be very relaxing (avoid stimulating scents like lemon, though).

11. Melatonin is not a sleeping pill – it's a natural sleep aid. However, the teen should not take more than 3 mgs (even though it is sometimes sold in 5mg tablets), because that much may act like a depressant the next day. Your teen can start with 3mgs, and then take an additional 1-2 mgs later if he wakes up too early (e.g., 3:00 AM).

12. White noise (e.g., from a fan) is also a good way to block out unwanted sounds.

13. Relaxation CDs (e.g., rain forest sounds) can be quite soothing for some ASD teens.

14. Some find the television (set at a low volume) to be calming, helping them to drop off into a relaxing sleep. However, others report that watching television before bed works more like a stimulant for them. Thus, decide if bedtime television is right for your teen.

15. Vigorous exercise has been reported to help ASD teens get to sleep more quickly – and to stay asleep longer. However, make sure he does not exercise within 3 hours of bedtime.



Comments:

Anonymous said...
just dont accidently give your child his am pill(adderal) thinking your giving him his pm pill(remeron) from all the confusing caios. he is still awake in his room taking his legos apart and putting them back together. defiently getting med trays

Anonymous said...
My 15 year old doesn't seem to need as much sleep, is this common for Aspies? When he sleeps, he sleeps soundly and gets himself up using his cell phone alarm.

Anonymous said...
This is a great article, my son has always had trouble sleeping, we are going through this list and trying everything on it, thanks!

Anonymous said...
Hello there! This publish couldn’t be published any greater! Studying by way of this article reminds me of my prior place mate! He often held referring to this. I'll ahead this short article to him. Fairly certain he'll have a very great go through. Thanks for sharing!

AmEpHySt said...
I am going to an professional to get sleeping tablets suitable for my 8 yr old because he gets no sleep at all. Melatonin may work for some but not for all. That's a reality. He's been mistaken as sick when in fact he's tired from lack of sleep and his eating habits turned to crap because of it.

By

The Challenges of Adolescence for Young People on the Autism Spectrum

The years from 12 to 18 are the most difficult time for teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder - Level 1 (ASD). These young people typically become more socially isolated during a period when they crave friendships and inclusion more than ever. In the cruel world of middle and high school, they often face rejection, isolation and bullying.

Meanwhile, school becomes more demanding in a period when they have to compete for college placements. In addition, issues of sexuality and a desire for independence from parents create even more problems.



In the teenage world where everyone feels insecure, adolescents that appear different are voted off the island. ASD teenagers often have odd mannerisms. For example, one adolescent talks in a loud un-modulated voice, avoids eye contact, interrupts others, violates their physical space, and steers the conversation to his favorite odd topic. Another appears willful, selfish and aloof, mostly because he is unable to share his thoughts and feelings with others.

Isolated and alone, many ASD teenagers are too anxious to initiate social contact. Many are stiff and rule-oriented, which is a deadly trait in any teenage popularity contest. Friendship and all its nuances of reciprocity can be exhausting, even though the teen wants it more than anything else.

These adolescents are not privy to street knowledge of sex and dating behaviors that other adolescents pick up naturally. This leaves them clueless about sex. Boys can become obsessed with Internet pornography and masturbation. They can be overly forward with a girl who is merely being kind, and then later face charges of stalking her. The ASD S female may have a fully developed body, but no understanding of flirtation and non-verbal sexual cues, making her susceptible to harassment and even date rape.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Many autistic teenagers, with their average to above average IQs, can sail through grammar school, but hit academic problems in middle and high school. They now have to deal with four to six teachers, instead of just one. The likelihood that at least one teacher will be indifferent - or even hostile - toward making special accommodations is certain. The “special needs” student now has to face a series of classroom environments with different classmates, odors, distractions, noise levels, and sets of expectations.

These teens, with their distractibility and difficulty organizing materials, face similar academic problems as students with Attention Deficit Disorder. For example, a high school term paper or a science fair project becomes impossible to manage because no one has taught the “special needs” teen how to break it up into a series of small steps. Even though the academic stress on the adolescent can be overwhelming, school administrators may be reluctant to enroll him in special education at this late point in his educational career.

Teenagers on the spectrum typically do not care about adolescent fads and clothing styles (concerns that obsess everyone else in their peer group). They may neglect their hygiene and wear the same haircut for years. Boys forget to shave. Girls don't comb their hair or follow fashion. Some remain stuck in a grammar school clothes and hobbies (e.g., unicorns and Legos) instead of moving into adolescent concerns like Facebook and dating. Boys on the autism spectrum often have no motor coordination. This leaves them out of high school sports, typically an essential area of male bonding and friendship.

The teenage years are more emotional for everyone. Yet the hormonal changes of adolescence, coupled with the problems associated with autism, can mean that the adolescent becomes emotionally overwhelmed. Childish tantrums reappear. Boys may act up by physically attacking a teacher or peer. They may experience “meltdowns” at home after another day filled with harassment, bullying, pressure to conform, and rejection. Suicide and drug addiction become real concerns, as the adolescent now has access to a car, drugs and alcohol. The teenage years can overwhelm not only the “special needs” adolescent, but also his or her parents.

Pain, loneliness and despair can lead to problems with drugs, sex and alcohol. In their overwhelming need to fit in and make friends, some ASD teenagers fall into the wrong high school crowds. Adolescents who abuse substances will use the autistic teen’s naivety to get him to buy or carry drugs and liquor for their group. If cornered by a police officer, the autistic teen usually does not have the skills to answer the officer’s questions appropriately. For example, if the officer says, “Do you know how fast you were driving?” the teen may reply bluntly, “Yes,” and thus appears to be a smart-aleck.

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

Here are a few things that parents can do to help their teen through the tough teenage years:

Most of the jobs that a teenager would be able to get (e.g., movie usher, fast food worker, store clerk, grocery sacker, etc.) involve interaction with the public. This means they are not always a good fit for an adolescent with ASD. However, some of these “special needs” teens can find work in their field of special interest, or in jobs that have little interpersonal interaction. Thus, parents should help their teen to find work that it is alignment with these special concerns.

When your child was little, you could arrange play dates for her. Now as an adolescent, you may have to teach her how to initiate contact with others. For example, you could teach her how to leave phone messages and arrange details of social contacts (e.g., transportation), and encourage her to join high school clubs (e.g., chess or drama). Also, many adolescents with ASD are enjoying each other's company through Internet chat rooms, forums and message boards. On a side note, it isn’t necessary to tell your child’s peers that she has an autism spectrum disorder – let her do that herself if she wants to.

You absolutely have to teach your adolescent about sex. You will not be able to “talk around” the issue. Be specific and detailed about safe sex, and teach your adolescent to tell you about inappropriate touching by others. Your child may need remedial “sex education.” For example, a girl needs to understand she is too old to sit on laps or give hugs to strangers. A boy may have to learn to close toilet stall doors or masturbate only in private.

In the school setting, if the pressure on your child to conform is too great, or if she faces constant harassment and rejection, or if the principal and teaching staff do not cooperate with you as the parent, it may be time to find another school. The adolescent years are a time when many moms and dads decide it is in their child’s best interest to enter special education or a therapeutic boarding school. In a boarding school, professionals will guide your child academically and socially on a 24-hour basis. They do not allow boys to isolate themselves with video games – everyone has to participate in social activities. Also, counseling staff helps with college placements.

If you decide to work within a public school system, you may have to hire a lawyer to get needed services. Your child should have an Individual Education Plan (IEP) and accommodations for the learning disabled. This may mean placement in small classes, using tutors, and providing special arrangements for gym and lunchtime. Your child should receive extra time for college-board examinations. Also, teach your child to find a “safe place” at school where he can share emotions with a trusted adult. The safe place may be the office of the school nurse, guidance counselor, or psychologist.

If your adolescent is college-bound, you have to prepare her for the experience. You can plan a trip to the campus, show her where to buy books, where the health services are, and so on. Also, teach her how to handle everyday problems (e.g., “Where do you buy deodorant?” … “What if you oversleep and miss a class?” … etc.).

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

As you prepare your adolescent for the workforce, keep in mind that people with ASD often do not understand “office politics.” They have problems with the basics (e.g., handling criticism, controlling emotions, showing up on time, working with the public, etc.). This does not mean they can’t hold down a job. Once they master certain aspects of employment, autistic teenagers are often able to work at high levels as accountants, research scientists, computer programmers, just to name a few.

Alcohol and drugs often react adversely with a child’s prescriptions (if he or she is on any), so you should teach your child about these dangers. Since most ASD teenagers are very rule-oriented, try emphasizing that drugs and alcohol are illegal.

Most teenagers on the spectrum can learn to drive, but their process may take longer because of their poor motor coordination. Once they learn a set of rules, they are likely to follow them to the letter (a trait that helps in driving). However, they may have trouble dealing with unexpected situations on the road. Thus, have your child carry a cell phone and give him a printed card that explains autism. Then teach him to give the card to a police officer and phone you in a crisis.

Because of their sensitivity to textures, ASD teenagers often wear the same clothes day in and day out. This is unacceptable in middle or high school. One idea that has worked for some moms and dads is to find an adolescent of the same age and sex as yours, and then enlist that person to help you choose clothes that will enable your child to blend in with other adolescents. Also, insist that your teen practices good hygiene every day.




In conclusion, parents of an adolescent with ASD face many problems that other parents don’t. The autistic teen is emotionally more immature than his “typical” peers. He may be indifferent - or even hostile - to his parents’ concerns. Like all teenagers, the autistic teen is harder to control and less likely to listen to his mom or dad.

He may be tired of his parents “nagging” him to look people in their eyes, brush his teeth, wake up in time for school, and so on. Also, he may hate school with a passion because he is dealing with social ostracism or academic failure. However, by implementing some of the suggestions listed above, parents can help their “special needs” teen to weather the storm of adolescence, and prepare him or her for the challenges of adulthood.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
By

What the Future Holds for Your Teenager on the Autism Spectrum

"I would like to know what to expect from a high functioning autistic child in the teenage years. My son was diagnosed 2 years ago. I know they say that they can suffer from this and that, but what is the long-term goal, what can we expect, what not to expect?"

Young people with ASD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) often have a difficult time between the ages of 13 and 19. They may be socially excluded and face rejection by their peers if they act differently from others. They want to be accepted and liked, but often don’t know how to behave and communicate appropriately. School is demanding and they long for friends. The goal for your HFA son is to make it through the teen years with the following:
  • his self-esteem intact
  • at least a friend or two
  • knowledge that his family loves him
  • a high school diploma
 
There are some teens that manage to navigate these years successfully because they don’t care about peer pressure and focus on a special interest of their own (e.g., chess or computers). So, encouraging your son to develop a special interest may help him at this time of life. A special interest may encourage friendships with other teens that have the same interest as well, making it easier to talk to and make friends with others.
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with High-Functioning Autism

A big problem for HFA teens is that often they don’t care about fads, clothing, celebrities, and teen communication devices (e.g., cell phones or Facebook). Your son’s interests may be more appropriate for younger children. Boys may be rejected if they are not interested in sports. Some of these issues can be resolved, though.

Help your son become aware of teen fads and how to talk about sports, celebrities, rituals, and school events. Encourage him to leave text messages for and arrange social engagements with peers. Perhaps he could join school clubs, especially those that focus on his special interest. Explain to your teen that he does not have to tell everyone that he has the disorder. He may enjoy talking with other HFA teens in internet chat rooms.

Your son may ignore personal hygiene and wear clothes and a haircut that are not in style. Find a same sex friend who will help him choose appropriate clothes to wear. Monitor your teen’s hygiene and create reminder notes or charts for him about daily bathing, tooth brushing, etc. Reward him for good hygiene, if that’s what it takes!

“Special needs” teens are sometimes not very well-informed about sex and dating. Boys may be very naïve or too forward with girls. Hormones cause rampant emotions, which HFA teens can’t handle. If they get angry, they may physically attack others or have a “melt down.”

You must teach your teen about sex. Provide books for him to read. Choose books that aren’t overly “clinical.” Be specific and detailed about safe sex. Never be judgmental or punish him when he confides in you; instead, counsel him. Boys need to be told that masturbating should take place only at home, in private. Teens on the autism spectrum often respond to “rules” by obeying them. Establish some rules for your son (e.g., “We have a rule in our house that teenagers should not have sex because they are too young to handle the emotions and problems that may occur”).

Some HFA teens develop problems with drugs and alcohol because they are eager to do what other teens do. They are not able to determine a “good” crowd from a “bad” crowd. Other teens may take advantage of your son’s eagerness to be liked and convince him to buy and/or take alcohol or drugs. You must always know where your son is, who he is with, what he is supposed to be doing, and the characters of the other teens he hangs around. Emphasize that drugs and alcohol are illegal. Teens on the spectrum are “rule-oriented,” so this may help your son avoid problems.

HFA teens may have school problems because of the difficulty in dealing with more than one teacher. Each classroom is a different environment, which may be confusing. Some teachers may be hostile. Some assignments may be overwhelming. Keep in close touch with your son’s teachers. A placement into Special Education may be necessary when a teen on the spectrum enters middle school. Some tens on the spectrum need special classes even though they didn’t before.

Make sure your son has a “safe place” at school where he can share emotions with a teacher, nurse, guidance counselor, or psychologist. If your son experiences harassment and/or rejection at school and the staff does not help, a special education placement or a therapeutic boarding school can give professionals a chance to assist your teen academically and socially.

Suicide may become a possibility for a few teens with autism. If you have any worries about this, get help immediately from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
 
==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with High-Functioning Autism

Use reasoning and negotiation with your son, instead of orders. If possible, give him two choices rather than telling him what he must do in a situation. He will have more control over his life and feel less resentment. He will be less likely to listen to you (like all teens!) at this age and may exhibit anger and impatience. He may hate school and resist everything you want him to do. Depression is common. If these problems occur, your son may need counseling.

Most autistic teens learn to drive successfully because they obey the rules! Have your son carry a cell phone and a card that explains the disorder. Teach him to call you in a crisis and to give the card to any police officer who stops him. Role play with him so he knows what to do and say if stopped by an officer.

Some teenagers on the autism spectrum do well in summer jobs in an area of special interest or with little contact with the public. Occupational therapy will help your son get ready for adulthood. Special programs are available that teach job and living skills. This will reduce his dependency on you. And above all, ask for help from professionals when you or your son need it.



==> Has your child on the autism spectrum been experiencing a lot of sadness lately? If so, here are a bunch of suggestions to assist in the matter...

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
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Here’s what other parents have had to say:

• Anonymous said… All of this is happening with my 15-year-old HFA. It can be heartbreaking for the parent. I just take it day by day.
• Anonymous said… Great article
• Anonymous said… Great article! My HFA is 39 & married now but that article was spot on with ways to help them through it.
• Anonymous said… I have a 16-year-old son that has not been diagnosed yet, but it is very obvious to us he is an HFA. Personally, I am very happy he is not interested in the 'teen fads", makes life much easier in my opinion. He could use a few friends though.
• Anonymous said… I will be homeschooling my son next year. I knew this would start happening. Just glad I have the option to homeschool:)
• Anonymous said… Nice article. My son who is now 17 has faced some of those issues and through counseling has been able to overcome many difficulties. He had a much rougher time in the early teens. Now he is more comfortable in his own skin. He doesn't necessarily follow trends in clothes, has let his hair grow. Still needs reminders with hygiene every now and then, but I believe he is on the road to independence. I want my son to have as beat normal life as possible, I don't want his condition to limit his potentials and who he will be. He can achieve greatness because he is a good kid. He gives me a hard time, but what teenager doesn't. I take it as a phase and guide him in all I can. His school has been very supportive and his peers accept him for who he is. Even when people snicker about him, he pays them no mind. I do like the advice about the HFA card in the wallet. He is learning how to drive and this is a good idea for when he will be driving by hi self and gets stopped by the police. Thanks for sharing this article.
• Anonymous said… Thank you for the article. My son turns 13 this year, I am sure I will be putting this info to good use.
•    Anonymous said... My son Liam is now 14. The best thing I did was have a behavior specialist come to the house once a week, which insurance covers, to help with things throughout the years like facial recognition, conversation with others, even just sitting in his chair and not crawling under the table when he got upset. He grew, matured, and learned, slower than the other kids yes, but still slow and steady learned to manage his behaviors. Now that he is a teenager he decided to do virtual school at home because the business of school, hallways, and other kids faired to distracting for him. He is doing great. Good grades, on a bowling team, has a few friends. Best thing you can do is join you child in something if they are not noise sensitive. It gives them a sense of belonging to a team. Liam started when he was 7 and is still on the team. He does his own laundry, vaccums his room, manages his schedule, takes care of his cat. Can't wait till he can get a job. So proud of him. So to answer your question an hour later lol you have lots of great stuff to look forward to if you get the right help. Also the behavior specialist made me feel like I had someone on my side and I wasn't alone. Relieved some of the stress.
•    Anonymous said... My daughter uses a note book to communicate with teachers, when she feels she can't talk or ask something. She has a brilliant sen support net work at school too and I have one main person who communicates everything to me. Her mood swings can change so quickly that each day is different, just make sure you keep talking to each other x
•    Anonymous said... I found Social Thinking books for teens excellent resource for your teen and you to read (very appealing to teens for how to on social stuff while insightful for parents) An advocate for you and student at school is huge. I truly enjoy communicating with my son and his perspective. Reason, logic, and showing you respect his viewpoint, but he must do the same. Clear, consistent logic. Plus if you want to hear about your teen's day tell them about yours, a chance to walk him through social situations at school.
•    Anonymous said... expect nothing, take each day as it comes and keep clear communication with him as much as possible, try to get him to tell you his feelings and opinions on things so you'll have an idea of how he's perceiving the world, make sure school are on board and check with him which teachers he trusts the most, these are the ones you need the most contact with so you can be part of the same team in helping him, as for hormones, expect the same as you'd expect from any teen. 

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