My ASD Child

"My 10 year old HF Autistic/Aspie doesn't have many friends, and when he's home he doesn't have any at all. He likes to be by himself playing video games with his online friends, which is very few as well. This has been the most difficult part of raising a child with autism. It is not made easier by teachers that damage fragile self-esteem and school boards and clubs that are exclusivist. I've found it to be heartbreaking. I often have to remind my son to talk about what other kids want to talk about and to play games others want to play. He often forgets this give-and-take aspect of friendships. He recently lost his best friend. The friend couldn't take the screaming, crying, yelling, controlling, bossiness and lack of reciprocity. My son takes things very literally and thinks with his heart. It is difficult for him to focus on more than one friend. He simply speaks on and on obsessively about his video games. I don't know what to do." Young

“Abstraction” is a relative concept related to the age of the youngster. For a 3-year-old, “the day after tomorrow” is a highly abstract concept. But for a teenager, “the day after tomorrow” is relatively concrete. The ability to think abstractly is associated with the ability to transfer what is learned from one context to another. For instance, a child who is a reasonably abstract thinker may learn the organization of an essay in English class, and then transfer that learning to his writing in Social Studies class. Conversely, a concrete thinker may need to be specifically taught in both classes. Relative to some academic skills, teaching "social competence" involves abstract skills and concepts. Because young people with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) tend to be concrete and literal, the abstract nature of these interpersonal skills (e.g., kindness, reciprocity, friendships, thoughts, feelings, etc.) makes them especially difficult to master.

“I am the mother of a 10 year old daughter with high functioning autism, recently diagnosed. My question: my daughter is very socially isolated most of the time, by her choosing. Is this a trait of HFA? Is it something I should address? In other words, should I try to get her to be more engaged with others her age? She has basically has no friends at this point.” Children with ASD level 1, or High-Functioning Autism, are often socially isolated, but are not unaware of the presence of others, even though their approaches may be inappropriate or peculiar (e.g., they may start a long, one-sided conversation about a favorite subject). Even though ASD children are often self-described "loners," they often express a great interest in making friends. These wishes are invariably thwarted by their awkward approaches and unintentional insensitivity to other's feelings, intentions, and non-literal and implied communications (e.g., signs of boredom, haste to leave, excessive

High-Functioning Autism (HFA), formerly “Asperger Syndrome,” is first and foremost a social disorder. Children with HFA are not only socially isolated, but also demonstrate an abnormal type of social interaction that can’t be explained by other factors (e.g., shyness, short attention span, aggressive behavior, lack of experience in a given area, etc.). Children with HFA are notable for their lack of motivation to interact with others. However, their social difficulties frequently stem from an incompetence and lack of knowledge and skill in initiating and responding in various situations and under variable conditions. For example, an adolescent with HFA may appear odd because of his continuous insistence on sharing with peers an obsessive interest in space craft, despite their displays of apathy for this topic. The fact that social difficulties of young people with HFA range from social withdrawal and detachment to unskilled social activeness is well documented. Nonet

“My wife and I are struggling dealing with our angry, increasingly aggressive 14 yr old son with high functioning autism. He's now refusing to hand over his electronics at night and shouting occurs. He is testing the boundaries, of course, but physical confrontation is something we don't know how to cope with.” Addressing hostility and aggressiveness in teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can be a frustrating and demanding process. The challenge for parents and teachers is to address the behavior in a constructive manner, rather than simply reacting to it. When AS and HFA teens are exhibiting hostile behaviors, it is often a sign that they are not receiving adequate support in mastering their environments, both at home and school. In addition, their aggressiveness does not necessarily reflect willfulness, rather they lack the social skills needed to “fit-in” and to be accepted by others – especially their peers. What makes AS and HFA teens a

"How can I help my child to generalize from one social situation to another? In other words, how can he learn 'social themes' on his own? I would like for him to realize that any particular interaction is nearly identical to some others." Children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA)  are hard to train in typical social behaviors, but they spontaneously learn things that neurotypical (non-autistic) children may consider difficult (e.g., memorizing license plate numbers of parked cars or home addresses in the neighborhood). The learning styles of AS/HFA children and neurotypical children are better suited to learn different tasks. AS and HFA children’s difficulty of learning social behavior is similar to neurotypical children’s difficulty of memorizing random factual details (e.g., phone numbers). Both arise from a mismatch between learning style and task. Intensive long-term training would surely make neurotypical kids remember a phonebook be

When an Aspergers or high-functioning autistic (HFA) child does not feel safe in school, it is impossible for that student to learn or participate in the educational process in a productive manner. Children who are bullied spend their entire time trying to escape the harassment, the violence, the humiliation, and the shame of being a victim. As this injustice goes unchecked, the child on the autism spectrum becomes more and more convinced that no one will rescue him, because no one sees or understands his attempt to communicate that he is, in fact, a victim. Also, he becomes angrier and angrier until he begins to cope with his victimization by either (a) emulating the characteristics of a bully or (b) dropping out of school altogether. Children who are bullied: Are more likely to have health complaints. In one study, being bullied was associated with physical health status 3 years later. Are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. Are more likely to retaliate t

“If we had to choose only one, what would be the best intervention strategy for our child with HFA?” For most children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger’s (AS), the most important treatment strategy would definitely be to enhance communication and social competence (i.e., social skills training). The goal is not to force the child to “conform to societal pressure” or to stifle individuality and uniqueness. Instead, the goal reflects the fact that most kids on the autism spectrum are not loners by choice.  Also, there is a tendency (as these kids develop towards the teenage years) for anxiety, depression, despondency, and negativism as a result of the child’s increasing awareness of personal inadequacy in social situations, and repeated experiences of failure to make and maintain relationships. The typical limitations of insight and self-reflection found in kids on the spectrum often prevent spontaneous self-adjustment to social and interpersonal demands.