Search This Blog
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query tantrums. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query tantrums. Sort by date Show all posts

Is there any method I can use during the meltdowns...?

Question

I have three teenagers on the autism spectrum and my spouse does also. Needless to say, our home is stressful at least once a day---usually more---every day. The conflict upsets our preschooler and leaves me in the middle to maintain peace and order. It is challenging to keep them from misreading, reacting to, and feeding off of each others' moods/verbalizations. Is there any method I can use during the meltdowns, especially if I come in when it's already angry and chaotic? I've tried getting them to separate and cool off, but they seem locked into engaging with each other. And, if I leave the room or the house I often end up with holes punched in walls, broken items, etc.

Answer

The parent’s behavior can influence a meltdown’s duration, so always check your response first:
  1. Calm down
  2. Quiet down
  3. Slow down
  4. Prioritize safety
  5. Re-establish self-control in your son/daughter, then deal with the issue

1. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the meltdown that’s about to take place, assure yourself that you’ve survived meltdowns 100 times before and will do so this time too.

2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally pleasant. Don’t speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don’t be “baited” into an argument. Often ASD (high-functioning autistic) kids seem to “want” to fight. They know how to “push your buttons,” so don’t be side-tracked from the meltdown issue. 
 

3. Slow down. A meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient time (e.g., rushing out the door to school). The extra pressure the fear of being late creates adds to the stress of the situation. ASD kids respond to "referred mood" and will pick up on your stress. This stress is then added to their own. So forget the clock and focus on the situation. 
 
Make sure the significant people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss know that your youngster has meltdowns that have the capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let your youngster's teacher know that if he or she is late due to a meltdown -- it’s unavoidable, and he or she shouldn’t be reprimanded for it.

4. Prioritize safety when your child is having a meltdown. Understand that he can be extremely impulsive and irrational at this time. Don’t presume that the safety rules he knows will be utilized while he is "melting down." Just because your youngster knows not to go near the street when he is calm doesn’t mean he won’t run straight into 4 lanes of traffic when he is having a meltdown. 
 
 
If your child starts melting down when you’re driving in the car, pull over and stop. If he tends to “flee” when melting down, don’t chase him. This just adds more danger to the situation. Tail him at a safe distance, and maintain visual contact.

5. When your youngster is calm and has regained self-control, she will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your youngster the appropriate way to express her needs and requests.

Remember that all behavior is a form of communication, so try to work out the message your son or daughter is trying to convey with his or her meltdown, rather than responding and reacting to the behavior displayed.

Note: A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Tantrums are caused by kids not getting their own way and then "acting out" in order to try and get what they want. A meltdown is often triggered by sensory overload (e.g., hypersensitivity to noise, light, heat, etc.). This leaves them feeling irritable, agitated, and stressed. 
 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
 
 
More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
 
------------------------------------------------------------
 
A child with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can have difficulty in school because, since he fits in so well, many adults may miss the fact that he has a diagnosis. When these children display symptoms of their disorder, they may be seen as defiant or disruptive.

Click here for the full article...
 
 
Comments:

Anonymous said...Thanks Mark -I have actually joined because I have a 12 year old nephew who has Asperger's and he is so full of anger. I really feel that alot of it is caused by his Dad (my brother) and his Mum not handling the situation very well. They talk about punishing him and he has to realise that he cannot behave the way he does when he swears at them and tells them that he hates them etc. I feel that alot of this would be helped if he had plently of exercise. He is a very active boy and loves the outdoors but they are always busy and he seems to spend most of his time inside. He is on the school bus at 7.30 a.m. and doesn't get home until 5 p.m. He is then inside, although he lives in the country. He desperately wants a small pond or water trough for his birthday and they won't let him, no explanation, just that they don't want one, which has really made him angry as he has no real reason why. If I am honest they frustrate the hell out of me and I'm 43!!! I don't know how they will react to your CD's but I can only try. I feel like I am watching an animal being cruely treated and it kills me. Unfortunately the Mum is jealous that he behaves more when he is with me and my husband but that is only because we are outdoors people and he loves it, but she stops him from seeing us. Anyway, watch this space!!! Thanks - Angie

Anonymous said...One of the difficult things, though, is although the meltdown is not JUST about getting his way (i.e., a simple tantrum), it is often precipitated by a parent saying no to something, or other frustration of his desires. The fuel may be all the other stresses and frustrations, but the match is a parent not allowing something he wants, or requesting he do something he doesn't want to do. So from our viewpoint, it often *feels* like a tantrum and direct challenge to our authority, although our son will (when he's calmed down) insist that it was not.
 
Anonymous said...What has worked for us during a meltdown is telling him that he is not allowed to punch the walls or break anything. We make him go to a certain room in the house until he calms down. We take turns supervising him so he doesn't hurt himself and so wee each get a break. We let him hit only pillows on the couch but am trying to get him to stop that. It is best not to talk to him during these meltdowns, anything we say makes it worse and it usually is over within an hour. We have his favorite TV show on during the meltdowns which helps him get his mind off whatever was bothering him.
 
By

Preventing Tantrums and Meltdowns in Younger Children on the Autism Spectrum

“Do younger kids with ASD have meltdowns on purpose? Can they be prevented? What's the best way to respond? Should the child be punished for having a meltdown? When might meltdowns be a sign of something more serious? Sorry for all the questions, but we are trying to learn all we can to help or little girl.” 

A meltdown (which oftentimes looks like an intense temper tantrum) is the expression of an Aspergers or high-functioning autistic youngster's frustration with the physical, mental or emotional challenges of the moment. Physical challenges are things like hunger and thirst. Mental challenges are related to her difficulty learning or performing a specific task. Emotional challenges are more open to speculation. Still, whatever the challenge, frustration with the situation may fuel an ASD kid's anger — and erupt in a meltdown.

Consider this: Most 2-year-olds have a limited vocabulary. Moms and dads may understand what a toddler says only 50 percent of the time. Strangers understand even less. When your child wants to tell you something and you don't understand — or you don't comply with your youngster's wishes — you may have a meltdown on your hands.

Do young ASD kids have meltdowns on purpose?

It might seem as though your kid plans to misbehave simply to get on your nerves, but that's probably giving your youngster too much credit. Young kids on the autism spectrum don't have evil plans to frustrate or embarrass their moms and dads. A young kid's world is right there in sight, at the end of his or her nose. Your youngster doesn't enjoy throwing a tantrum any more than you enjoy dealing with a meltdown.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Aspergers and High Functioning Autism

Can meltdowns be prevented?

There may be no fool-proof way to prevent meltdowns, but there's plenty you can do to encourage good behavior in even the youngest ASD child:
  • Avoid situations likely to trigger meltdowns. If your kid begs for toys or treats when you shop, steer clear of "temptation islands" full of eye-level goodies. If your youngster acts up in restaurants, make reservations so that you won't have to wait — or choose restaurants that offer quick service.
  • Be consistent. Establish a daily routine so that your kid knows what to expect. Stick to the routine as much as possible, including nap time and bedtime. It's also important to set reasonable limits and follow them consistently.
  • Encourage your daughter to use words. Young kids understand many more words than they're able to express. If your youngster isn't speaking — or speaking clearly — you might teach him or her sign language for words such as "I want," "more," "enough," "hurt" and "tired." The more easily your youngster can communicate with you, the less likely you are to struggle with meltdowns. As your kid gets older, help him or her put feelings into words.
  • Let your youngster make choices. To give your youngster a sense of control, let him or her make appropriate choices. Would you like to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt? Would you like to eat strawberries or bananas? Would you like to read a book or build a tower with your blocks? Then compliment your youngster on his or her choices.
  • Plan ahead. If you need to run errands, go early in the day — when your youngster isn't likely to be hungry or tired. If you're expecting to wait in line, pack a small toy or snack to occupy your youngster .
  • Praise good behavior. Offer extra attention when your kid behaves well. Tell him or her how proud you are when he or she shares toys, listens to directions, and so on.
  • Use distraction. If you sense a meltdown brewing, distract her. Try making a silly face or changing location. It may help to touch or hold your youngster .





What's the best way to respond to a meltdown?

If you can, pretend to ignore the meltdown. If you lose your cool or give in to your ASD kid's demands, you've only taught your youngster that meltdowns are effective.

If your youngster has a meltdown at home, you can act as if it's not interrupting things. After he or she quiets down, you might say, "I noticed your behavior, but that won't get my attention. If you need to tell me something, you need to use your words."

If your child has a meltdown in public, pretending to ignore the behavior is still the best policy. Some parents who witness the scene may sympathize with you as you ignore the meltdown. If the meltdown escalates or your youngster is in danger of hurting himself or herself, stop what you're doing and remove your youngster from the situation. If your youngster calms down, you may be able to return to your activity. If not, go home — even if it means leaving a cart full of groceries in the middle of the store. At home, discuss with your child the type of behavior you would have preferred.

Should an ASD kid be punished for having a meltdown?

Meltdown? No.

Tantrums? This calls for a different approach.

Tempter tantrums are a normal part of growing up. Rather than punishing your daughter, remind her that tantrums aren't appropriate. Sometimes a simple reminder to "use your words" is adequate. For a temper tantrum that caused you to abandon an activity in public — try a timeout.

During a timeout, your youngster can sit someplace calming — such as in a chair in the living room — for a certain length of time, usually one minute for each year of the kid's age. You can pretend that you don't even see your kid during the timeout, but you can still assure his or her safety. If your youngster begins to wander around, simply place him or her back in the designated timeout spot. Remind your youngster that he or she is in timeout, but don't offer any other attention. Eventually, your youngster may even take his or her own timeout at the first sign of a tantrum — before a negative cloud surrounds you both.

When might meltdowns be a sign of something more serious?

As your youngster's self-control improves, meltdowns should become less common. Many kids on the spectrum  outgrow meltdowns by age 4, although in some cases meltdowns can continue into adolescence. If your older ASD child is still having meltdowns, the meltdowns seem especially severe or the meltdowns have pushed you beyond your ability to cope, share your concerns with his or her doctor. These may be signs that something else is going on. The doctor will consider physical or psychological problems that may be contributing to the meltdowns, as well as give you additional tips to help you deal with your youngster's behavior.

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Aspergers and High Functioning Autism

==> Click here for more information on meltdowns and tantrums, and the parenting strategies to deal with them...


COMMENTS:

 •    Anonymous said… I agree that puberty seems to be a factor. Our 13 yo had one of his worst ones yet yesterday. He's so ashamed afterwards I don't have the heart to punish that
•    Anonymous said… I feel like meltdowns often still occur past the age of 4. This is the first article that I disagree with. Although the skill tips are on point with removing child from area, finding a safe place and trying to avoid the circumstances all together.
•    Anonymous said… I'm just learning like everyone else here how to handle my daughter with her Aspergers but one thing I feel is she should never be punished for having a melt down. HOW she handles the meltdown might need to be addressed but we talk. Or I let her indulge in her "peaceful place"...the iPad. It's her way of taking a time out and we all need a time out once in a while.
•    Anonymous said… Meltdowns are caused by sensory issues. Usually the child is out of control and cannot express what they are upset about. They are caused by input of senses. In tantrums, the child is looking for attention, is upset about something, cannot put into words what he/she is upset about but it's usually directed at someone/something. In my son we can tell the difference.
•    Anonymous said… My daughter is now 12. We have come an extremely long way. She started school at 3 in a developmentally delayed class but by the time she reached kindergarten she took a huge turn and was placed in normal classes. She is now in 7th grade in Spark, Gifted Arts, Beta club, french club, band etc. She is a straight A student. She has recently tested high in her class on a pre-test to take the ACTs this year and if she tests high enough she could skip 8th grade! (Which she doesn't want to do but still wants to test) I told you all of this because I had a totally different approach to her "gift". Although she is different from other kids I never once treated her different. When she threw a tantrum she was punished depending on the severity of the tantrum this could mean a spanking, timeout, something she loved taken away (her obsession was Sonic the hedgehog). Once she calmed down we sat her down and asked her #1 To explain what she did wrong and asked her why she acted the way she did and #2 had her give examples of a better reaction as to what she could have done differently. We taught her to divert things that worked up her nerves by thinking or doing something that made her happy. She will continue to get punished for her poor choices or tantrums because she has to learn how to behave and act. We do not use her "gift" as a crutch or excuse for why she acts out, etc. When she was young and threw a tantrum in public I absolutely removed her from the situation. I don't agree with ignoring the tantrum. I understand that no two kids are alike on the spectrum but this has worked for us. Most importantly we kept God and our faith in the center of her life as well as an extremely supportive family and extended family that followed how we dealt with her. I know that she will grow up to be a productive member of society and do great things.
•    Anonymous said… My son is 10 and still has them
•    Anonymous said… No meltdowns should not be punished. They can't properly express their feelings the way that we can, they become overwhelmed more easily. And no they don't do them on purpose. Set limits with the kids. Enforce these limits. Comfort them when they go through the meltdowns, sometimes that helps bring them out of them.
•    Anonymous said… Um my daughter is 11 and actually has had some of the worst meltdowns ever recently. Her doctors and I have attributed this to puberty beginning as well as the stress of middle school. I agree that time outs are helpful and of course keeping your cool. It's hilarious to say that in public other parents witnessing a meltdown will sympathize with you though, lol. Not even as a toddler was that true.

 Post your comment below…
By

Dealing With Meltdowns That Are In Full Swing


"I read your article on preventing meltdowns, but what can be done when a child is already in a meltdown? My autistic son (high functioning) will experience meltdowns that can literally last for an hour or more."

There are a number of ways to handle a meltdown in a child with high-functioning autism once it has started. 

Some simple strategies include the following:

1. You can positively distract the youngster by getting him focused on something else that is an acceptable activity. For example, you might remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate toy.

2. You can place the youngster in time away. Time away is a quiet place where she goes to calm down, think about what she needs to do, and, with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.

3. When possible, hold the youngster who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or someone else. Let the youngster know that you will let him go as soon as he calms down. Reassure the youngster that everything will be all right, and help him calm down. Parents may need to hug their youngster who is crying, and say they will always love him no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for a youngster who may be afraid because he lost control.

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 
4. Unlike a meltdown, you can ignore a tantrum if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the youngster calms down, give the attention that is desired.

5. Try to intervene before the youngster is out of control. Get down at her eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.

6. Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the youngster’s frustration, his characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.

7. Talk with the youngster after she has calmed down. When she stops crying, talk about the frustration she has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. 

8. For the future, teach her new skills to help avoid meltdowns, such as how to ask for help. Teach her how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express her feelings with words and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.

9. Remain calm and do not argue with the youngster. Before you manage him, you must manage your own behavior. Spanking or yelling at the youngster will make the meltdown worse.

10. If the youngster has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct him to time-away (not to punish, but to remove him from the current environment). If you are in a public place, carry your youngster outside or to the car. Tell him that you will go home unless he calms down. In school, teachers can warn the child up to three times that it is necessary to calm down and give a reminder of the rule. If the youngster refuses to comply, then place him in time-away for no more than 1 minute for each year of age (again, not to punish, but to remove him from the current environment).

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's
 
Post-tantrum management:
  • Do not reward the youngster after a meltdown for calming down. Some kids will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.
  • Explain to the youngster that there are better ways to get what he or she wants.
  • Never let meltdowns interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with the youngster.
  • Never, under any circumstances, give-in to a temper tantrum (which sometimes looks like a meltdown). That response will only increase the number and frequency of the tantrums. Also, when the youngster on the autism spectrum has become accustomed to successfully manipulating parents with tantrums in the past -- but then doesn't get his way with today's tantrum -- it can often escalate into a meltdown. Now the parent has two distinctly different problems (that may look the same) to address.
  • Teach the youngster that anger is a feeling that we all have and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
By

Can Aspergers be treated? Yes!

Is there a cure for Aspergers?

No. Aspergers (high-functioning autism) can currently not be cured and the condition is life-long. However, with correct treatment and therapy, many people with Aspergers can go on to lead normal lives and may even excel in certain areas of occupational functioning.

Can Aspergers be treated?

Yes, most definitely! However, because Aspergers is a relatively new diagnosis in the field of developmental psychology and psychiatry, many treatment approaches are still in the developmental stages and lots of work still needs to be done in this area. One thing has definitely been established - the sooner treatment begins - the better! This applies especially to remedial, educational and therapeutic intervention. While there is no specific treatment or 'cure' for Aspergers, there are many interventions which can significantly improve the functioning and quality of life of people and kids with Aspergers.

Social Skills Training—

This should be one of the most important components of a treatment program. Kids with Aspergers can be helped to learn social skills by an experienced psychologist. Body language and nonverbal communication can be taught in much the same way as one would teach a foreign language. Kids with Aspergers can learn to interpret nonverbal expressions of emotion and social interaction. This can assist them with social interaction and peer relationships and prevent the isolation and depression that often occurs as they enter adolescence. Teenagers can sometimes benefit from group therapy and can be taught how to use the teenage 'slang' and language forms of their peer groups.

Educational Intervention—

Because kids with Aspergers may differ widely in terms of IQ and ability levels, schools should learn to individualize educational programs for these kids. Some of them may cope well in a mainstream class with additional support, while others may need to receive specialized education. In all cases, teachers should be aware of the special needs of Aspergers kids, who often need a great deal more support than first appears necessary.

Psychotherapy—

Psychotherapeutic approaches which focus on supportive therapy, the teaching of social skills and concrete behavioral techniques are more effective than approaches which concentrate on emotional in depth therapy, which may be too uncomfortable and stressful for the person with Aspergers. Kids can benefit from play therapy and 'story' therapy aimed at raising awareness of nonverbal communication, development and teaching of empathy and learning of social skills.

Diet—

Although there is no conclusive evidence, there are strong suggestions that changes in diet may significantly reduce the symptoms of some kids with Aspergers. Many moms and dads report that their kids become much more manageable when certain classes of food are eliminated from the diet. These include dairy products, sugar, gluten, wheat and some artificial colorants and preservatives like MSG and tartrazine. It is worthwhile consulting a trained nutritionalist to assist with dietary intervention and moms and dads should not simply eliminate important foods from their kid's diets without expert advice.

Psychopharmacological Interventions or Drug Therapy—

Many kids and adults with Aspergers do not need any form of medication, while others need to be treated symptomatically While there are no specific 'Aspergers' drugs, psychiatric drugs can be used to treat some of the problems which may manifest or be associated with Aspergers, such as ADD/HD, depression, mood swings, temper tantrums, irritability, aggression, obsessions and compulsive behaviors and anxiety. Many of the drugs used to treat the other Pervasive Developmental Disorders like Autism are also used to treat some of the associated symptoms of Aspergers. These include Ritalin, Adderall, Paxil, Strattera, Prozac, Risperal and others.

Like many psychiatric drugs, these often come with unwanted side effects and the risk of addiction and their benefits should always be weighed against the potential harm they could cause, particularly in the case of kids. Remember that you should always consult your doctor before altering or discontinuing any prescription medication. It is also important to realize that there are effective herbal and homeopathic alternatives to many of the prescription drugs. As with any medication, it is always best to consult your doctor before changing or discontinuing any prescribed medicines.

Natural alternatives—

Herbal and homeopathic remedies can be viable alternatives to the synthetic drugs and may be just as effective, with far fewer risks and side effects. Depending on the symptoms that need treatment, Native Remedies recommends the following remedies to assist in an overall treatment plan. Herbal remedy for depression, mood swings, repetitive behaviors, irritability, and aggression. These may all be symptoms of serotonin imbalance and may show improvement with the use of our 100% herbal MindSoothe Jr. formula. The ingredients of MindSoothe Jr. have been clinically proven to assist in balancing serotonin levels and act as SSRI's (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors) in much the same way as the synthetic SSRI's do.

Herbal remedy for anxiety (calm and soothe)—

Tranquilizing drugs may be very effective in calming autistic kids and adults, who can easily become highly distressed and volatile over seemingly small changes in their environment. However, many tranquilizing drugs are also addictive and individuals may build up tolerance, resulting in the need for increasingly higher doses. PureCalm is a herbal formula which has been especially formulated to calm and soothe kids and adults without the risk of side effects and potential addiction. Available in easy to administer drop form, the dosage may be adjusted to suit kids or adults. PureCalm may be taken on its own when needed for quick symptomatic relief, and is also safe to use with most prescription and herbal medicines.

Herbal remedies for ADHD, hyperactivity and concentration—

Like the benzodiazepines and tranquilizing drugs, the psycho-stimulants come with documented side effects and potential for dependency. Yet many moms and dads find it very difficult to deal with Aspergers kids who also have symptoms of ADHD, hyperactivity and concentration problems. For the treatment of hyperactivity, restlessness and lack of concentration, Native Remedies has developed two highly effective remedies: Focus ADHD Formula is a 100% herbal remedy which has been especially formulated to treat the symptoms of ADHD in kids and adults alike. Focus comes in a tincture an is easily administered as drops in some juice or water. Native Remedies also offers BrightSpark, a safe and effective homeopathic formula. BrightSpark can be effectively used on its own or it can be combined with Focus ADHD Formula for severe or stubborn cases or for kids with defiance and anger problems.

Herbal remedy for tantrums—

Many Aspergers kids have violent tantrums, sometimes seemingly without cause. Tantrums may often be a result of the youngster's frustration at being unable to communicate or understand, and may also be a response to changes in routine or environment. Tantrum Tamer, a specially formulated homeopathic remedy, uses proven homeopathic ingredients which can greatly reduce or eliminate distressing and hard to handle tantrums. Tantrum Tamer dissolves easily in the mouth and is pleasant tasting and readily accepted by kids. Remedies may be used independently or in combination.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Aspergers Children
By

Meltdowns versus Tantrums in Autistic Kids: Crucial Strategies for Parents and Teachers

"How does one tell the difference between meltdowns and temper tantrums in a child with ASD level 1? I certainly do not want to punish my son for something he cannot control." 

ASD level 1 or High-Functioning Autism is a neurological condition. The brain is wired differently, making this disorder a lifelong condition. It affects communication, social interaction and sensory issues. ASD is often referred to as the "invisible syndrome" because of the internal struggles these kids have without outwardly demonstrating any real noticeable symptoms. Thus, difficultly assessing someone with the disorder is even more impacted.

Kids with this disorder struggle with a problem and internalize their feelings until their emotions boil over, leading to a complete meltdown. These outbursts are not a typical temper tantrum. For children on the autism spectrum (and for their parents), these episodes are much worse.

Many of these kids may appear under-receptive or over-receptive to sensory stimulation and therefore may be suspected of having vision or hearing problems. Therefore, it's not unusual for parents or teachers to recommend hearing and vision tests. Some kids may avoid gentle physical contact such as hugs, yet they react positively to rough-and-tumble games. Some kids on the spectrum have a high pain tolerance, yet they may not like to walk barefoot in grass.





There are nine different types of temperaments in ASD children:
  1. Distractible temperament predisposes the child to pay more attention to his or her surroundings than to the caregiver.
  2. High intensity level temperament moves the child to yell, scream, or hit hard when feeling threatened.
  3. Hyperactive temperament predisposes the child to respond with fine- or gross-motor activity.
  4. Initial withdrawal temperament is found when children get clingy, shy, and unresponsive in new situations and around unfamiliar people.
  5. Irregular temperament moves the child to escape the source of stress by needing to eat, drink, sleep, or use the bathroom at irregular times when he or she does not really have the need.
  6. Low sensory threshold temperament is evident when the child complains about tight clothes and people staring and refuses to be touched by others.
  7. Negative mood temperament is found when children appear lethargic, sad, and lack the energy to perform a task.
  8. Negative persistent temperament is seen when the child seems stuck in his or her whining and complaining.
  9. Poor adaptability temperament shows itself when children resist, shut down, and become passive-aggressive when asked to change activities.

 ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

Some meltdowns are worse than others, but all leave both parent and kid exhausted. Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it ends, both you and the autistic child are totally exhausted. But… don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day, and sometimes into the next, the meltdown can return full force.



Meltdowns are overwhelming emotions and quite common in kids on the spectrum. What causes them? It can be anything from a very minor incident to something more traumatic. How long do they last? It’s anyone’s guess. They last until the kid is either completely exhausted, or he gains control of his emotions, which is not easy for him to do.

If your youngster has to find ways to cope with the disorder, expect her to experience both minor and major meltdowns over incidents that are part of daily life. She may have a major meltdown over a very small incident, or may experience a minor meltdown over something that is major. There is no way of telling how she is going to react about certain situations. However, there are some ways to help your kid learn to control his emotions.

ASD children don’t really have the knowledge to decipher when their actions are inappropriate. When your kid is calm and relaxed, talk to her about her meltdowns if she is of an age where she can reason and learn to work with you. This will probably not be until the kid is seven or eight years old. Then, tell her that sometimes she does things that are not appropriate. Have her talk to you about a sign you can give her to let her know when this happens.

All you can do is be patient with your kid while she is having a meltdown, though they are emotionally exhausting for you as well as he. Never punish her for experiencing a meltdown. Overwhelming emotions are part of the traits associated with the disorder, but if you work with your kid, she will eventually learn to control them somewhat.

These young people don’t like surprises and some don’t like to be touched. Never rush to your youngster and give her a hug. If you want to hug her, tell her exactly what you are going to do. A surprise hug can send her into an even worse meltdown than she is already experiencing.

ASD kids like to be left alone to cope with emotions. If your kid says something like, “I just want to be left alone,” respect her wishes for at least a while. You can always go back in ten minutes and ask if you can help. Do not be hurt if she refuses.

Work with your youngster as she grows older to help her learn to cope with daily life. Remember, she sees the world much differently than we do and needs help deciphering exactly how we see the world. While working with her on this, she will give you clues as to how she sees the world and a firmer bond will be established.




 ==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

It is much easier to prevent meltdowns than it is to manage them once they have erupted. Here are some tips for preventing meltdowns and some things you can say:
  • Avoid boredom. Say, “You have been working for a long time. Let’s take a break and do something fun.”
  • Change environments, thus removing the child from the source of the meltdown. Say, “Let’s go for a walk.”
  • Choose your battles. Teach children how to make a request without a meltdown and then honor the request. Say, “Try asking for that toy nicely and I’ll get it for you.”
  • Create a safe environment that children can explore without getting into trouble. Childproof your home or classroom so children can explore safely.
  • Distract children by redirection to another activity when they begin to meltdown over something they should not do or cannot have. Say, “Let’s read a book together.”
  • Do not ask children to do something when they must do what you ask. Do not ask, “Would you like to eat now?” Say, “It’s suppertime now.”
  • Establish routines and traditions that add structure. For teachers, start class with a sharing time and opportunity for interaction.
  • Give children control over little things whenever possible by giving choices. A little bit of power given to the child can stave off the big power struggles later. “Which do you want to do first, brush your teeth or put on your pajamas?”
  • Increase your tolerance level. Are you available to meet the child’s reasonable needs? Evaluate how many times you say, “No.” Avoid fighting over minor things.
  • Keep a sense of humor to divert the child’s attention and surprise the child out of the meltdown.
  • Keep off-limit objects out of sight and therefore out of mind. In an art activity keep the scissors out of reach if children are not ready to use them safely.
  • Make sure that children are well rested and fed in situations in which a meltdown is a likely possibility. Say, “Supper is almost ready, here’s a cracker for now.”
  • Provide pre-academic, behavioral, and social challenges that are at the child’s developmental level so that the child does not become frustrated.
  • Reward children for positive attention rather than negative attention. During situations when they are prone to meltdowns, catch them when they are being good and say such things as, “Nice job sharing with your friend.”
  • Signal children before you reach the end of an activity so that they can get prepared for the transition. Say, “When the timer goes off 5 minutes from now it will be time to turn off the TV and go to bed.”
  • When visiting new places or unfamiliar people explain to the child beforehand what to expect. Say, “Stay with your assigned buddy in the museum.”

  

There are a number of ways to handle a meltdown once it has started. Strategies include the following:

  • When possible, hold the child who is out of control and is going to hurt himself or herself or someone else. Let the child know that you will let him or her go as soon as he or she calms down. Reassure the child that everything will be all right, and help the child calm down. Parents may need to hug their child who is crying, and say they will always love him or her no matter what, but that the behavior has to change. This reassurance can be comforting for a child who may be afraid because he or she lost control.
  • If the child has escalated the meltdown to the point where you are not able to intervene in the ways described above, then you may need to direct the child to time-away (not to punish, but to remove the child from the current environment!). If you are in a public place, carry your child outside or to the car. Tell the child that you will go home unless he or she calms down. In school, warn the child up to three times that it is necessary to calm down and give a reminder of the rule. If the child refuses to comply, then place him or her in time-away for no more than 1 minute for each year of age (again, not to punish, but to remove the child from the current environment).
  • Remain calm and do not argue with the child. Before you manage the child, you must manage your own behavior. Spanking or yelling at the child will make the meltdown worse.
  • Talk with the child after the child has calmed down. When the child stops crying, talk about the frustration the child has experienced. Try to help solve the problem if possible. For the future, teach the child new skills to help avoid meltdowns such as how to ask appropriately for help and how to signal a parent or teacher that the he or she knows they need to go to “time away” to “stop, think, and make a plan.” Teach the child how to try a more successful way of interacting with a peer or sibling, how to express his or her feelings with words and recognize the feelings of others without hitting and screaming.
  • Think before you act. Count to 10 and then think about the source of the child’s frustration, this child’s characteristic temperamental response to stress (e.g., hyperactivity, distractibility, moodiness), and the predictable steps in the escalation of the meltdown.
  • Try to intervene before the child is out of control. Get down at the child’s eye level and say, “You are starting to get revved up, slow down.” Now you have several choices of intervention.
  • Unlike a meltdown, you can ignore a tantrum if it is being thrown to get your attention. Once the child calms down, give the attention that is desired.
  • You can place the child in time away. Time away is a quiet place where the child goes to calm down, think about what he or she needs to do, and, with your help, make a plan to change the behavior.
  • You can positively distract the child by getting the child focused on something else that is an acceptable activity. For example, you might remove the unsafe item and replace with an age-appropriate toy.

Post-tantrum management:

  • Teach the child that anger is a feeling that we all have and then teach her ways to express anger constructively.
  • Never, under any circumstances, give-in to a temper tantrum. That response will only increase the number and frequency of the tantrums. Also, when an Asperger child has become accustomed to successfully manipulating parents with tantrums in the past -- but then doesn't get his way with today's tantrum -- it can often escalate into a meltdown. Now the parent has two distinctly different problems (that may look the same) to address.
  • Never let meltdowns interfere with your otherwise positive relationship with the child.
  • Explain to the child that there are better ways to get what he or she wants.
  • Do not reward the child after a meltdown for calming down. Some children will learn that a meltdown is a good way to get a treat later.

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
By

Tantrums in Public: Tip for Parents of Kids on the Autism Spectrum

"Any tips for avoiding temper tantrums when my 5-year-old (high functioning) son and I are out shopping?"

All parents have experienced the temper tantrum in the grocery store or the restaurant. While young people with High-Functioning Autism and may have tantrums that seem larger than life at times, they are still tantrums.

Here are some tips for parents:
1. Prior to going on outings, it is important that your child is prepared for what is going to take place. So explain the trip's agenda in depth.

2. You may want to have your child engage in some physical activity and play prior to the trip so that he is calm (and slightly worn-out) for the outing.

3. You also want to establish what the expectations are for his behavior during the outing. You will need to keep in mind his age and level of understanding when giving expectations.

4. Don't overload him with rules, but be consistent.
 
==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

5. Monitor your child's behavior on the outing. If you sense that he is becoming overwhelmed, intervene at that point. Tantrums are not only embarrassing for you, but for your child as well. They don't want to behave this way, so if you can help them avoid it, you should.

6. If you are going to be gone for an extended period of time, prepare for it. Bring with you activities or things that your child enjoys to keep him occupied. If he doesn't function well during long outings, then start with brief periods of time.

Go on an outing for 5-10 minutes, and if all goes well, reinforce that behavior. Then gradually increase that time period. However, if the outing is not for his benefit, don't ask him to engage in an activity for extended periods of time. Don't expect him to sit quietly for hours while you shop (it's unfair to any child).

7. When a tantrum occurs, leave! Just do it -- and do it NOW!!! Try not to create more tension by making a big deal of it. Simply stop shopping and remove him from the area. This may mean leaving for a few minutes until his behavior becomes calm, or returning home and planning your outing for another day. Tell him what was inappropriate, and why you are leaving, but try not to continue the discussion about his behavior once you are home. It's over!




 
Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD
 
----------
 

Here's what other parents have had to say:

•    Anonymous said... Don't take him shopping. I had no idea what my aspergers toddler was going through until he was old enough to tell me. The lights, the colors and displays, the crowds, the noise... It is too much for them to handle. And it is too much to expect them to.

•    Anonymous said... i have found short trips to the store work best. Also, bring along a toy or something that your child finds comforting. if too much noise is the problem, try headphones to drown out the noise. Hope this helps!

•    Anonymous said... I try to explain what we are doing before we enter. I tell him he can pick out one thing, I usually let him push the cart if its the grocery store. This works about 80% of the time. If theres someone home I give him the option to stay home, if he wants to come we agree he will behave or not be invited again

•    Anonymous said... Tough love: Just pick him up and carry him out to the car leaving everything behind. Keep talking to him in a calm voice that you will not accept this behaviour in public and you are going home now. You may need to say it loud enough for others around you to hear as well so they keep their noses out of your business. I had to do this only 3 times and my child never had another tantrum in public again. I understand that every child is different and I don't know the extent of involvement with your child but if this method helps anyone else out there, go for it. The first time I had to do this I was annoyed because I had to leave everything. So the other times he pulled this, I was just out to give him an opportunity to 'shop' and it was no hardship if I had to leave a store.

•    Anonymous said... Two people threatened to call CPS on me because I "was clearly a bad parent who couldn't discipline my child correctly" they have no understanding of how a child who is so vocal can be autistic. We're usually trying to do our shopping in one or two big trips on weekends when I can leave ds home with dad or he shops instead. Otherwise, very short trips work best.

•    Anonymous said...just try and stay calm and ignore others around you,my son would do cartwheels down the aisles in supermarkets and run and skid on his knees not easy.

•    Anonymous said... The normal, check for all the sensitivities, go when it is not crowded, ear plugs, sunglasses (lights can be horrible), gum or chewy. But number one thing - don't give in. Mean what you say and say what you mean - every time. I was prepared to leave the store at a drop of the hat or stand in line with a screaming child and angry customers. I have thick skin and a well adjusted 16 year old. Once I prepacked the car for a trip a day in advance just to say "I won't take a trip with kids that back talk and are unhelpful I am sick of warning blah blah blah... we are not going." Finally after a lot of promising and begging we left the next day (on the real date). They have never forgotten and both know I mean what i say.

•    Anonymous said... child once had a meltdown getting into the car at a grocery store. I was very firm with him...someone came by me and accused me of "abusing my child" and wanted to call the cops and Child protective services on me because "no child would be screaming in their child's presence. Other people came by and supported me..sigh. This was a couple of years ago. When my child was a toddler, another person wanted to do the same and we were out of town. Who are these people that think they know better than us parents of aspies.

Please post your comment below…
By

Children on the Autism Spectrum and Problems with Impulsivity

Autism Spectrum Disorders are often characterized by a lack of impulse control. Kids with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) are sometimes labeled unmanageable or aggressive because of their impulsivity, which involves “a tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences.”

Even though HFA kids can be caring and sensitive, their good qualities are often overshadowed by their lack of impulse control; their ability to "self-regulate" is compromised.

Impulse control can be a difficult skill to teach to any youngster, and is even more difficult with kids who have a neurological disorder. Many parents of these “special needs” children have reported that their youngster seems to spend his life in time-out, grounded, or in trouble for what he says and does – both at home and school – due to “acting before thinking.” Teaching self-regulation can be frustrating for parents and teachers, but is vital to the continued success of kids on the spectrum.



Here are a few strategies for parents and teachers that can be helpful when teaching self-regulation to kids with AS and HFA:

1. Be very specific in your instructions. Kids with HFA have difficulty telling right from wrong, so teachers and parents must be concrete, stating clear, consistent expectations and consequences. Telling the youngster to "be nice" is too vague. Instead, say something such as "Wait in line for the slide, and don't push" or "When we go into the store, just look – don’t touch.”

2. Consequences need to be instantaneous – and short. Delayed consequences (e.g., time-out or detention) don't work for those with difficulty anticipating future outcomes (an autistic trait). Consequences should be immediate (e.g., if the HFA student hits another student, recess is suspended – but for only 10 minutes).

3. Consider employing a "point system" in which the child earns tokens or pennies for a positive target behavior. He or she can then redeem the points at the end of the week for a special “prize” (e.g., pizza dinner, extra TV time, another small goldfish for the aquarium, etc.).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

4. Ignore minor problems. For example, if your youngster spills some juice because she's pouring it carelessly or too quickly, talk to her about the importance of moving more precisely and slowly, help her clean up the spill, and move on. Some slip-ups simply don’t warrant consequences. Pick your battles carefully.

5. Another method that can be used to teach children with HFA how to self-regulate is “redirection” from the problem-causing stimulus. Over-stimulation of the senses is a common cause of impulsive behaviors in these kids. So, look for cues that often precede the impulsive behavior so that you are aware of when they are more likely to occur, and find opportunities to redirect the child’s attention before the problematic behavior ensues. Music and art are two examples of activities that kids on the spectrum tend to enjoy, since they appeal to visual and audio stimuli.

6. Make sure that the punishment fits the crime. For example, dinnertime tantrums can result in dismissal from the table without dessert, rather than loss of computer game privileges (in this case, computer games have nothing to do with tantrums at the table).

7. No child is above the law! While HFA is an explanation for some behavioral problems, it is never an excuse (e.g., the disorder may explain why Michael pushed Sarah, but the disorder did not “make” Michael do it). Kids on the autism spectrum need to understand the responsibility to control themselves.

8. Acknowledgement and praise should be provided immediately (and as often as possible) when the child behaves appropriately. Catch him in the act of doing something good. Accuse him of being successful. And, specifically state what he is doing well (e.g., waiting his turn).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

9. Post the day's schedule on a dry erase board, and erase items as they are completed. This gives HFA children a sense of control about their day. For example: At home, parents can post chores that need to be completed on that particular day, such as “take trash can to the street for pick-up” or “run the vacuum in your bedroom.” At school, teachers can post items such as “organize your desk (with specific directions on how to do that)” or “sharpen pencils.” Also, be sure to alert the child in advance about any revisions to his or her daily routine.

10. Posting house rules and classroom rules lets HFA kids know what's expected of them, and also serves as a visual reminder for those who act before they think. At home, the rules can be posted on the refrigerator door. At school, they can be posted on the blackboard. Any location where they can be viewed throughout the day will suffice. Some kids benefit from seeing rules written on an index card, such as “Wash hands before eating,” taped directly on the dining room table, or "Raise hands before speaking," taped directly on their desks at school.

11. Prepare for impulsive reactions ahead of time. In situations where a lack of structure or some other situation sets off an impulsive reaction in the HFA child, have a plan ready to help him or her to keep impulses in check. For example: At home, maybe the child can help with dinner preparations as a distraction. At school, perhaps the child can be given a special task (e.g., "monitor" or "coach") to help him or her stay focused on self-control.

12. Prepare the HFA child for ALL transitions. To avoid meltdowns and tantrums when moving between tasks (another stressor for kids on the spectrum), give the child a 10-minute warning, then a 5-minute warning, and then a 1-minute warning of a transition so that he or she will have adequate time to stop one activity and start another. This would include everything from preparing for bedtime at home to preparing for lunch time at school.




Teaching self-regulation to HFA children is a challenge, and there is no single solution that works for everyone. As with most teaching, the more intervention you provide, the greater chance of seeing success. Like working to improve other skills, it is helpful to begin teaching impulse control as early as possible. Above all, avoid getting aggravated and know that it will take time and patience. In the meantime, you can be proud that you are helping your youngster reach his or her full potential.

 

More articles for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 
Social rejection has devastating effects in many areas of functioning. Because the ASD child tends to internalize how others treat him, rejection damages self-esteem and often causes anxiety and depression. As the child feels worse about himself and becomes more anxious and depressed – he performs worse, socially and intellectually.

Click here to read the full article…

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meltdowns are not a pretty sight. They are somewhat like overblown temper tantrums, but unlike tantrums, meltdowns can last anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. When it starts, the Asperger's or HFA child is totally out-of-control. When it ends, both you and your child are totally exhausted. But... don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. At the least provocation, for the remainder of that day -- and sometimes into the next - the meltdown can return in full force.

Click here for the full article...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Although Aspergers [high-functioning autism] is at the milder end of the autism spectrum, the challenges parents face when disciplining a teenager on the spectrum are more difficult than they would be with an average teen. Complicated by defiant behavior, the teen is at risk for even greater difficulties on multiple levels – unless the parents’ disciplinary techniques are tailored to their child's special needs.

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Your older teenager or young “adult child” isn’t sure what to do, and he is asking you for money every few days. How do you cut the purse strings and teach him to be independent? Parents of teens with ASD face many problems that other parents do not. Time is running out for teaching their adolescent how to become an independent adult. As one mother put it, "There's so little time, yet so much left to do."

Click here to read the full article…

------------------------------------------------------------

Two traits often found in kids with High-Functioning Autism are “mind-blindness” (i.e., the inability to predict the beliefs and intentions of others) and “alexithymia” (i.e., the inability to identify and interpret emotional signals in others). These two traits reduce the youngster’s ability to empathize with peers. As a result, he or she may be perceived by adults and other children as selfish, insensitive and uncaring.

Click here to read the full article...

------------------------------------------------------------

Become an expert in helping your child cope with his or her “out-of-control” emotions, inability to make and keep friends, stress, anger, thinking errors, and resistance to change.

Click here for the full article...
By
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Strategies for Transforming ASD Meltdowns into Moments of Connection

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a multifaceted neurological condition influencing how individuals interpret the world around them and how ...