Crucial Skills-Acquisition for Children with Asperger’s and HFA

"How can parents help their child on the spectrum to improve behavior and cope with sensory sensitivities/problems related to anxiety?"

Parents often know that their child on the autism spectrum needs to be taught certain skills to improve behavior, sensory sensitivities, anxiety-related issues, and so on ...but they may not know exactly what skill-set will work best in any given situation.

There is a specific set of skills that children with Asperger’s (AS) and High Functioning Autism (HFA) need to be taught in order to insure their long-term success. The progression of skills-acquisition proceeds as follows:

1. In the first stage of skills-acquisition, the AS or HFA child follows rules as given, without context, and with no sense of responsibility beyond following the rules exactly.
2. In the second stage, competence (i.e., active decision making in choosing a course of action) develops, and the child acquires organizing principles to quickly access the particular rules that are relevant to the specific task at hand.
3. In the third stage, the child develops intuition to guide his decisions and devise his own rules to formulate plans. 
4. In the fourth and final stage, the child (a) has an intuitive grasp of situations based on a deep, tacit understanding, (b) has a vision of what is possible, (c) transcends reliance on rules, guidelines, and maxims, and (d) uses "analytical approaches" in novel situations or in solving problems.

The progression is thus from rigid adherence to rules to an intuitive mode of reasoning based on tacit knowledge. Below are the crucial skills that children on the autism spectrum so desperately need to be taught:

Social and Communication Skills—

Social and communication skills are best taught by a communication specialist with a focus on pragmatics in speech. Alternatively, social training groups may be used if there are enough opportunities for individual contact with the teacher and for the practicing of specific skills. Teaching may include:

• Verbal decoding of nonverbal behaviors of others
• Social awareness
• Perspective-taking skills
• Correct interpretation of ambiguous communications (e.g., nonliteral language) 
• Processing of visual information simultaneously with auditory information
• Understanding the appropriate social context of an interaction 
• Appropriate nonverbal behavior (e.g., the use of gaze for social interaction, monitoring and patterning of inflection of voice)
• Imitative drills (e.g., working with a mirror)

  
==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Adaptive Functioning—

The acquisition of self-sufficiency skills in all areas of functioning should be a priority in any plan of intervention. The tendency of children with AS and HFA to rely on rigid rules and routines can be used to foster positive habits and enhance their quality of life and that of family members. The teaching approach should be practiced routinely in naturally occurring situations and across different settings in order to maximize generalization of acquired skills.

Maladaptive Behaviors—

Specific problem-solving techniques (usually following a verbal rule) may be taught for handling the requirements of frequently occurring, problematic situations (e.g., involving novelty, intense social demands, frustration, etc.). Training is usually necessary for recognizing situations as problematic and for selecting the best available learned strategy to use in such circumstances.

Learning—

Concepts, appropriate procedures, cognitive techniques, etc., are more effectively taught in an explicit and rote fashion using a “parts-to-whole” verbal instruction approach, in which the verbal steps are in the correct sequence for the behavior to be effective. Additional guidelines should be derived from the child's neuropsychological profile of assets and deficits. Specific intervention techniques should be similar to those usually employed for learning disabilities, with an effort to thwart the identified difficulties by means of compensatory techniques (usually of a verbal nature).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

If significant motor and visual-motor deficits are discovered during the evaluation, the child should receive physical and occupational therapies. Occupational therapies should not only focus on traditional techniques designed to address motor deficits, but should also reflect an effort to integrate these activities with learning of visual-spatial concepts, visual-spatial orientation, and body awareness.

Self-Support—

As children and teens with AS and HFA are usually self-described as loners (despite an often intense wish to make friends and have a more active social life), there is a need to facilitate social contact within the context of an activity-oriented group (e.g., church communities, hobby clubs, self-support groups, etc.). The little experience available with social groups suggests that these children and teens enjoy the opportunity to meet others with similar problems, and may develop relationships around an activity or subject of shared interest.

Vocational Training—

Oftentimes, older teens and young adults with AS and HFA may fail to meet entry requirements for jobs in their area of training (e.g., college degree) or fail to maintain a job because of their poor interview skills, social disabilities, eccentricities, or panic attacks. Having failed to secure skilled employment, these young people may be helped by well-meaning friends or relatives to find a manual job. As a result of their typically poor visual-motor skills, they may once again fail, leading to devastating emotional consequences. Thus, it is important that these individuals are trained for - and placed in - jobs where they are not neuropsychologically impaired, and where they will enjoy a certain degree of support and shelter. Also, it is preferable that the job does not involve intensive social demands.

Once the skills listed above have been mastered, parents may find that their “special needs” child functions at such a “normal” level that his or her symptoms of Asperger’s or HFA go unnoticed by others (e.g., peers, teachers, etc.).

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Social-Skills Training and Joint-Attention Training for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

“Can social skills training really help children with high functioning autism? What should a good training program consist of?”

There is some objective evidence to support traditional and newer naturalistic behavioral techniques and other approaches to teaching social skills. Joint attention training may be especially helpful in young, pre-verbal kids on the autism spectrum (e.g., Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism), because joint attention behaviors precede and predict social language development.

A randomized, controlled trial demonstrated that joint attention and symbolic play skills can be taught, and that these skills generalize to different settings and people. Parents can facilitate joint attention and other reciprocal social interaction experiences throughout the day in the youngster's regular activities.

A social skills curriculum should target the following:

• initiating social behavior
• minimizing stereotyped perseverative behavior while using a flexible and varied repertoire of responses
• responding to the social overtures of other kids and grown-ups
• self-managing new and established skills

The following are supported primarily by descriptive and anecdotal literature, but the quantity and quality of research is increasing: 

• peer-mediated techniques
• play and leisure curricula 
• scripts
• social games
• social skills groups
• social stories
• video modeling
• visual cueing

A number of social skills curricula and guidelines are available for use in school programs and at home.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Integrating Young Adults with Asperger Syndrome with Typically Developing Peers

Integrating Young Adults with Asperger Syndrome with Typically Developing Peers: An Essential Step in the Transition to Independence

Kyle Avery, Ramapo for Children

For many young adults on the spectrum, especially those with Asperger Syndrome, comfortable interaction with typically developing peers is more a dream than a reality. Yet when they transition to college or the work force, the ability to socialize becomes a prerequisite for success. To grow their social and emotional skills, these young adults need safe opportunities to interact with typically developing peers. This is why Ramapo for Children’s Staff Assistant Experience provides an integrated, inclusive environment to help young adults with social, emotional, or learning challenges transition to independence.

Roadblocks on the Path to Independence

Regardless of challenges, all youth seek the same things: to learn, have friends, feel valued, and experience success. Once high school ends, the most common paths to those goals are college or work. But teens with autism spectrum disorders like Asperger Syndrome can experience alienation instead of achievement on these paths due to their characteristic lag in social skills. Some colleges offer programs that support young adults with special needs, but their focus is primarily academic and does little to mitigate the discomfort that those with social and emotional challenges face in the less structured campus environment. Offices and work environments are even less forgiving, and poor social skills are often cited as a primary source of difficulties when young adults with special needs enter the workplace.

The greatest obstacle between the young adults who experience these setbacks and their ability to align their behaviors with their aspirations is the opportunity to practice social situations. In an unstructured environment, entering conversations can be a terrifying and confidence-destroying prospect, and real-time debriefing either is not an option or comes in the form of admonishment instead of support. The only way to improve social skills is to repeatedly take part in interactions until they become part of daily routine. Additionally, receiving constructive feedback based on those interactions is a great, underutilized tool to supportively help young adults improve their communication skills, recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and work to address them. Ramapo for Children takes the trepidation out of social interaction by fully immersing young adults with their typically developing peers and providing a safe space where mistakes and missteps become opportunities for improvement.

The Staff Assistant Experience: Supporting Young Adults in Transition

The Staff Assistant Experience is a residential transition-to-independence program for young adults with social, emotional, or learning challenges. The program offers participants an opportunity to improve and reinforce interpersonal, independent living, and job skills, build resilience and determination, and establish a future orientation. The program, based at Ramapo for Children’s Rhinebeck campus, is designed for young adults ages 18 to 25 who seek self-sufficiency and independence, but who have struggled in other, less supportive environments.

            The Staff Assistant Experience Helps Participants Develop:

·         Independent Living Skills—Ramapo provides coaching and instruction on such tasks as meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and household budgeting.

·         Social Skills—Ramapo provides a variety of social opportunities and special community events that foster positive interactions and encourage friendships.

·         Job Skills—Ramapo provides meaningful work opportunities to teach universally applicable vocational skills and help Staff Assistants manage relationships in the workplace.

Roommates, Job Coaches, Mentors: Immersion with Typically Developing Peers

The unique blending of social, work, and home life with typically developing peers is a hallmark of SAE. Participants live and work alongside these peers, who are their coworkers, colleagues, mentors, roommates, and friends. Being fully immersed with understanding and supportive peers who have greater social and emotional aptitude enables participants to gain comfort in social situations and provides ample opportunity to practice skill building. Participants receive immediate constructive feedback on social and professional development that recognizes their strengths and helps them improve their weaknesses. As one Staff Assistant noted about his experience on campus, “No one judges me, because everyone, kids and staff alike, are here to improve their skills and learn new things.” With everyone on the way to new achievements, missteps are taken in stride.

Building Social and Emotional Confidence One Day at a Time

These one-on-one interactions and skill support, along with the structured and inclusive environment, have helped Staff Assistants gain skills in everything from becoming more open-minded and starting conversations with peers, to slowing down and enunciating speech to facilitate conversations. With social and emotional skills broken down into achievable tasks, then modeled and reinforced by peers, everyday interactions that were once terrifying become manageable for Staff Assistants. The ease they gain on campus is directly applicable to future experiences in the workforce, higher education, or simply the everyday opportunities that enrich a young adult’s life.

Just as importantly, the Staff Assistant Experience helps participants feel like a part of a team in a way they never have before. With their colleagues and roommates, they’re “just one of the guys,” a member of the Ramapo family who can joke around with colleagues and have meaningful conversations with roommates without fear of rejection. The opportunity to be seen not as a diagnosis but as a friend and peer is what makes the Staff Assistant Experience work, and it’s what guides the Staff Assistants to new heights of independence and aptitude.

In addition to the Staff Assistant Experience, Ramapo for Children provides a residential summer camp for children ages 6 to 16 who are affected by social, emotional, or learning challenges; year-round retreats for young people, educators, and other community-based organizations; and adult training programs. For more information about Ramapo for Children or the Staff Assistant Experience, please visit www.ramapoforchildren.org or contact Kyle Avery at (646) 588-2308 or kavery@ramapoforchildren.org.

Parents' Problem-Solving Skills for Hostile Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

“My wife and I are struggling dealing with our angry, increasingly aggressive 14 yr old son with high functioning autism. He's now refusing to hand over his electronics at night and shouting occurs. He is testing the boundaries, of course, but physical confrontation is something we don't know how to cope with.”

Addressing hostility and aggressiveness in teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) can be a frustrating and demanding process. The challenge for parents and teachers is to address the behavior in a constructive manner, rather than simply reacting to it.

When AS and HFA teens are exhibiting hostile behaviors, it is often a sign that they are not receiving adequate support in mastering their environments, both at home and school. In addition, their aggressiveness does not necessarily reflect willfulness, rather they lack the social skills needed to “fit-in” and to be accepted by others – especially their peers.



What makes AS and HFA teens act-out may lie in the way they process social information, including what aspects of the social environment they pay attention to, and how they interpret what they perceive. These “special needs” teens need help in altering the way they process social information so that they do not view hostility as justified or useful.

The development of an “emotions vocabulary” is an important component in addressing aggressive behaviors so that feelings can be put into words leading to social skills development, identifying feelings, fostering cooperation, emphasis on empathy, discussions of future desires, conflict resolution, and assertive communication.

If the AS or HFA adolescent is acting-out, it is irrational for parents and teachers to assume that he knows more favorable alternatives. If adults are always telling this adolescent what NOT to do, when are they telling him what he SHOULD be doing and helping him to learn how?

Why Teens with Asperger's and HFA Can Be Moody and Depressed--




 ==> Disciplinary Strategies for Asperger's and HFA Teens


Teaching Problem-Solving Skills—

Developmental deficits in cognitive processes are often associated with aggressive behavior, and social development requires mastery of cognitive and behavioral skills for communicating with others, assessing social circumstances, and resolving conflicts without aggressiveness. These skills empower AS and HFA teens to make friends and flourish socially.

Teaching problem-solving skills is useful in addressing hostility and aggressiveness in these adolescents. Below are 6 effective steps to teaching problem-solving skills. Each step requires different approaches to discovering - and linking - the missing skills in social situations.

Step 1: Help the teen to attend to social cues that are often missed or misinterpreted.

Methods: 

• Help the teen identify his own feeling states through self-report and observation.
• Enhance sensitivity to verbal and nonverbal social cues through games and role play, teaching the teen to identify social cues in body language and pitch of voice.
• Have the teen make a video of his own nonverbal cues, and then have him explain his feelings on the basis of cues demonstrated in the video (e.g., hand gestures, facial expressions, voice intonation, and other indicators of social intent).

Step 2: Help the teen to assign meaning to social cues. This step is necessary because hostile teens commonly interpret neutral interactions as threatening – and then respond defensively. Unlike “typical” teenagers, AS and HFA teens do not intuitively know how to exhibit socially acceptable behavior, and the level of their required assistance depends on the social supports they have previously encountered.

Methods: 

• With the help of videotapes of social encounters, the teen should be taught to identify the sources of the problems and the feelings of participants with emphasis on correctly identifying friendly and neutral – as well as hostile – intent on the part of others.
• The teen should learn to identify and classify social cues by friendly, neutral, and hostile categories of intent. The teen can practice by assuming the roles of his peers in disputes.

Step 3: Help the teen to define goals that enhance social relationships with an awareness of the consequences of behavior.

Methods: 

• Brainstorming example: The teen is rewarded for having ideas about goals for various situations. Goals can be rated as to whether they are likely to enhance or damage interpersonal relationships with peers.
• The teen should be given opportunities to practice identifying and fitting pro-social goals to various situations.

 ==> Disciplinary Strategies for Asperger's and HFA Teens

Step 4: Help the teen to develop ideas about how to respond to each social circumstance he encounters. This step is necessary because compared with “typical” teens, AS and HFA teens identify fewer alternatives and seem unaware of the various options that may be open to them when confronted by a social problem. These “special needs” teens need help identifying their options and possible outcomes (this is why constantly telling them what they are doing wrong does not increase the likelihood of improved future performance).

Methods: 

• Help the teen to develop skills to control arousal and to generate behavioral responses in which anger and use of force are only two of many response possibilities.
• Help to increase the teen’s skill in identifying alternatives to the use of force to solve social problems.

Step 5: Help the teen to assess likely outcomes of potential responses and to select a response that can be initiated given the limitations of the situation. Compared to non-hostile teens, hostile ones tend to evaluate pro-social responses less favorably. Thus, they are not behaving a certain way to purposely hurt those around them, rather they are simply making decisions based on social skills deficits.

Methods: 

• Evaluation of each alternative: The teen should be given opportunities to discuss likely gains and losses associated with each identified alternative in specific social situations.
• Like goals, gains may be described as short and long term, material and social, or affective and concrete.
• In addition to benefits, look at costs (i.e., negative outcomes) of each alternative.

Step 6: Help the teen to implement a response. This step is where a teen with hostile tendencies joins a group, negotiates deals, offers and/or receives positive feedback, and bargains for the exchange of social opportunities by implementing a strategy from previous steps. Practicing this step will be intimidating and challenging for the AS or HFA teen. Any attempts – successful or not – should be praised and reviewed to identify areas of strength as well as need for improvement.

The development of problem-solving skills includes the AS or HFA teen as a contributor in planning and execution. Thus, be sure to include his input in all the steps listed above. The methods described are something you are doing WITH the teen, rather than TO him. Addressing hostility in these “special needs” young people demands an understanding of their perspective. Any approach to correcting hostility that does not include the teen himself is not going to have long-term benefits.

Behind every behavioral problem is a skill deficit – and a need to acquire that skill. Identifying with whom, over what, where and when behavioral problems occur will highlight specific circumstances so that appropriate problem-solving skills can be taught. Including the teen in the plan to address his aggression and hostility is allowing him to be assertive in a positive way; it gives him a sense of control that is often craved when he is lacking a skill and acting-out aggressively.

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

 

My son with Aspergers tends to be tactless...

Question

My son with Aspergers tends to be tactless, very literal and overly honest and idealistic-is there any way that I can help him to be able to get a long a little better socially?

Answer

Socialization is a necessary component of life. Social communication is how we interact with the people around us. If a child struggles with socialization and communication, he will have problems getting along with his peers.

Asperger’s Syndrome manifests differently in each individual, although all children with Asperger’s have some form of social and communication deficit. There are ways to help turn your concerns into non-issues. You can help your son achieve a more balanced social life. You can start working on this at home where he is most comfortable.

Social stories are stories written about different real-life situations that follow the desired steps to correct problems in social behaviors. You can find books filled with social stories on the Internet or at your local library. You could even write you own, tailoring the stories to fit your son’s specific trouble spots. If you decide to use social stories, you should also pursue other options. A multiple-therapy approach is your best bet for a good outcome.

If your son has a program in place that includes occupational therapy, ask for a consultation with his therapist to add specific social communication goals. When you think of occupational therapy, you tend to think of something other than these types of problems. In reality, these therapists are very good at helping Asperger’s children learn to use correct social skills, as well as most other living skills. Most therapists will offer parent training sessions, as they are usually happy to know that the parent is interested enough to invest the time in their child.

Finally, check with your local Asperger’s support group or your child’s school system for available social skills groups. These groups are usually led by a psychologist or a therapist and provide opportunities for the Asperger’s child to practice social skills in a controlled environment. You can then follow through with extra practice at home.

There are books available that will help you work on social and communication skills completely at home. One such book is “Social Skills Training for Children and Adolescents with Asperger Syndrome and Social-Communication Problems” by Jed E. Baker”.

This book is an entire social skills curriculum complete with reproducible handouts and activity sheets. It covers all of the skills that cause most of the problems for children with Asperger’s and is a complete training package for Asperger’s kids of all ages. This program is very user-friendly and very detailed. You are sure to find specific examples of and solutions for the issues you see in your child.

All of these suggestions can be applied at home with a little training. You can help your son develop better social skills, enhancing his perspective and insuring a bright future.

Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism: Overcoming Social Skills Deficits

"How can I help my child to generalize from one social situation to another? In other words, how can he learn 'social themes' on his own? I would like for him to realize that any particular interaction is nearly identical to some others."

Children with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA)  are hard to train in typical social behaviors, but they spontaneously learn things that neurotypical (non-autistic) children may consider difficult (e.g., memorizing license plate numbers of parked cars or home addresses in the neighborhood). The learning styles of AS/HFA children and neurotypical children are better suited to learn different tasks.

AS and HFA children’s difficulty of learning social behavior is similar to neurotypical children’s difficulty of memorizing random factual details (e.g., phone numbers). Both arise from a mismatch between learning style and task. Intensive long-term training would surely make neurotypical kids remember a phonebook better, but they will never do quite as well as AS and HFA kids. Similarly, intensive long-term training would help AS and HFA kids by supplying more examples to match a given social situation, but they will never have the flexibility and efficiency in social interactions that neurotypical kids have.

Since most relationships in social interaction, language and sensorimotor processing contain many “unspoken” variables (e.g., context of the relationship, body language), social skills training should focus on how to teach AS and HFA children to comprehend, retain and model such intricacies.

There are mnemonic tricks (i.e., memory aids) that can help neurotypical children to remember random facts (e.g., phone numbers, digits in π). The idea is to associate random facts with a story or coherent theme that is easy for neurotypical children to learn and remember. These tricks can be reversed to help AS and HFA children. They can learn to use lists of memorized random facts to “code” common themes in social interaction, language, and even sensorimotor processing. AS and HFA kids clearly have the ability to learn certain “social-themes” (e.g., how to start a conversation, create friendships, empathize, etc.), and it is possible to extend their ability through systematic social skills training.

Unlike neurotypical children, who tend to naturally figure-out complex social rules, AS and HFA children have difficulty “discovering” common social-themes on their own, particularly complex ones. Thus, common social-themes should be explained to them explicitly. It helps to start training them on one simple social task (e.g., how to smile and say “hi” to a peer) and gradually move on to more complex ones (e.g., how to start and maintain a conversation).

Case example: One of my young Asperger’s clients had difficulty listening to his mother speaking whenever there was a lot of distracting background noise (e.g., people moving about and talking at a restaurant). This child couldn’t filter-out environmental stimuli and focus on what was his mother was telling him (he had the same problem listening to his teacher’s instructions at school if the classroom wasn’t completely quiet). So, we set-up a training session as follows:

Step 1: With just one source of background noise (in this case, a blowing fan), the mother gave one piece of instruction to her son (in this case, he was asked to button the top button on his shirt). 

Step 2: With the fan blowing, she gave two pieces of instruction simultaneously (“tie your shoe and then please bring me that book sitting on the table”). 

Step 3: We introduced two sources of background noise (the blowing fan and a radio playing within ear-shot). The mother made one, then two, then three requests, and her son was asked to respond appropriately.

Step 4: We introduced a third piece of background noise (the fan, the radio, and two people conversing within ear-shot in an adjacent room). The mother made one, then two, then three requests, and her son was asked to respond appropriately.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

We continued this procedure until (a) there were five sources of background noise and (b) the child responded appropriately to five of his mother’s requests.

Much like a deaf person who learns to read lips, this young boy eventually trained himself to watch the lips of the speaker as a way to focus on the speaker’s words rather than any accompanying background noise. Also, he was instructed on why learning a general social-theme (in this case, attentively listening to others) is more useful than storing specific examples precisely. He was taught how to generalize (i.e., apply regularity to perform a social task) without “memorizing” individual examples (e.g., smiling and saying “hello” to his teacher is the same way he smiles and says “hello” to all other adults).

Indeed, many moms and dads of kids with AS and HFA are concerned about their youngsters’ social functioning. They know that their sons and daughters have many wonderful qualities to offer others, but the nature of their disorder, or more precisely, their poor social skills, often preclude them from establishing meaningful social relationships. This frustration is amplified when moms and dads know that their “special needs” kids want desperately to have social contacts, but fail miserably when trying to make friends. Often, their failure is a direct result of inefficient programs and inadequate resources typically made available for social skills training. While most neurotypical kids learn basic skills simply by exposure to social situations, kids with AS and HFA must be taught these skills explicitly – and as early as possible!

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Teaching Interpersonal Relationship Skills to Teens on the Spectrum

"My son (high functioning, 15 years old) has a hard time learning from past 'social mistakes' and usually reacts without thinking through to the likely outcomes as he interacts with his peers. Is there a way to help him be a bit more insightful, that is, be able to generalize from one situation to the next and identify cause-and-effect re: the things he says and does around friends and classmates?"

Having positive peer relationships is important for all adolescents. Unfortunately, many teens with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) have a hard time making and keeping friends and being accepted within the larger peer group. The perceived “odd behavior” associated with AS and HFA can wreak havoc in an adolescent's attempts to connect with classmates in positive ways.

Not being accepted by others, feeling isolated, different, unlikeable and alone – this is probably the most painful aspect of having AS and HFA. These negative experiences carry long-lasting effects. Positive connections with others are so important. Though teens with AS and HFA desperately want to make friends and be liked by the group, they often just don't know how. The good news is that parents can help their adolescent develop social skills and competencies.

Here are some important tips on how parents can help their “special needs” teenager to develop much needed social skills:

1. Adolescents with AS and HFA tend to have a hard time learning from past experiences. They often react without thinking through consequences. One way to help these young people is to provide immediate and frequent feedback about inappropriate behavior or social miscues. Role-playing can be very helpful to teach, model, and practice positive social skills, as well as ways to respond to challenging situations like bullying.

2. An after-school or weekend job can let a teenager practice some social skills and gain self-confidence. Many AS/HFA teens feel they are doomed to social isolation until they, for example, land a job at McDonald’s. In this case, the teen just might begin talking to classmates who work at – or come into – the restaurant, and then get to know many of them outside of work.

3. As an adolescent reaches young adulthood, friendships are often more complicated, but it is equally important for you to continue to be involved and to facilitate positive peer interactions. The middle school and high school years can be brutal for an adolescent who struggles socially. Even if an adolescent remains unaccepted by the peer group at large, having at least one good friend during these years can often protect him or her from the most damaging effects of ostracism by the peer group.

4. AS and HFA teenagers need planned activities. Although you, as the parent, no longer plan and supervise your teenager as closely as you did back in the day, church organizations, scout groups, and other after-school or community activities can provide structure for the teenager who can’t find a crowd on his or her own. The grown-ups who run such groups are generally committed to involving all the teens. They’ll take the time to talk to a teenager standing on the edge of the group and encourage him or her to join in.

5. Clearly identify and give information to your adolescent about social rules and the behaviors you want to see. Practice these prosocial skills again and again and again. Shape positive behaviors with immediate rewards.

6. Communicate with the school, coaches, and neighborhood parents, so that you know what is going on with your adolescent and with whom your adolescent is spending time. An adolescent's peer group and the characteristics of this group have a strong influence on the young people within the group. A middle or high school age adolescent who has experienced social isolation and repeated rejection and simply wants to "belong" somewhere is often more vulnerable to moving into any peer group that will be accepting – even when that group is a negative influence.

7. Collaborate with your adolescent's school to make sure the classroom environment is as "AS/HFA-friendly" as possible so that your adolescent is better able to manage his or her symptoms. Work together with the school staff on effective behavior management approaches and social skills training.

8. Focus on one or two areas that are most difficult for your adolescent so that (a) the learning process doesn't become too overwhelming and (b) your adolescent is more likely to experience successes. Keep in mind that many teens with AS and HFA have difficulty with the basics like starting and maintaining a conversation or interacting with another individual in a reciprocal manner (e.g., listening, asking about the other person’s ideas or feelings, taking turns in the conversation, showing interest in his or her peer, etc.), negotiating and resolving conflicts as they arise, sharing, maintaining personal space, and even speaking in a normal tone of voice that isn't too monotone.

9. High schools are usually much larger than elementary and middle schools – and the school-wide social scene can be daunting to navigate for AS/HFA teens. Conversation and friendship come more easily among teenagers who have a shared interest. Encourage your teen to sign up for clubs or activities that will put him or her in touch with like-minded peers. An outing with the Spanish club may spark conversation with a peer in a different class.

10. If a teenager is seriously struggling on the social front, his or her "jump start" might be a formal group designed to teach social skills. Such groups are generally led by a psychologist or therapist, and may be sponsored by schools or community centers. The format may involve structured tasks or be an open forum for conversation, with feedback coming from both group leaders and peers.

11. Once an adolescent is labeled by his or her peer group in a negative way because of social skills deficits, it can be very hard to dispel this reputation. In fact, having a negative reputation is perhaps one of the largest obstacles your adolescent may have to overcome socially. Studies have found that the negative peer status of adolescents with AS and HFA is often already established by early-to-middle elementary school years, and this reputation can stick with the adolescent even as he or she begins to make positive changes in social skills. For this reason, it can be helpful for moms and dads to work with their adolescent's teachers, coaches, etc. to try to address these reputational effects.

12. Get involved in groups that foster positive peer relationships and social skills development (e.g., Boy Scouts, Indian Guides, Girl Scouts, Girls on the Run, sports teams, etc.). Make sure the group leaders or coaches are familiar with AS and HFA and can create a supportive and positive environment for learning prosocial skills.

13. Research finds that adolescents with AS and HFA tend to be extremely poor monitors of their own social behavior. They often do not have a clear understanding or awareness about social situations and the reactions they provoke in others. For example, they may feel that an interaction with a classmate went well – when it clearly did not. AS and HFA-related difficulties can result in weaknesses in this ability to accurately assess or "read" a social situation, self-evaluate, self-monitor, and adjust as necessary. These skills must be taught directly to your adolescent.

14. Some AS/HFA teenagers do best in smaller groups with some parental monitoring. Although moms and dads are generally viewed as "not cool" to most teenagers, your presence is acceptable in certain situations. A teenager that is reluctant to call a friend to "hang out" might be persuaded to invite a friend or two to a sporting event, if mom gets a few tickets.

15. Establish a positive working relationship with your adolescent's teacher. Share about your adolescent's areas of strength and interests, as well as areas of weaknesses – and strategies you have found to be most helpful in minimizing those weaknesses.

Cultivating friendships during adolescence can be an awesome task for the teenager with AS and HFA. Cliques are hard to break into, and delayed maturity is a roadblock to social success. While some AS/HFA adolescents win friends with their enthusiasm and off-beat humor, others find themselves ostracized, seen by their peers as over-bearing or immature. Parents can NOT structure their teen’s social life as they did through elementary and middle school, but by using the suggestions above, they CAN give the little push that can get their teen started on the path to effective interpersonal relationships.

Tips for teachers with AS/HFA students:

1. Adolescent students often look to their teachers when forming social preferences about their peers. A teacher's warmth, patience, acceptance, and gentle redirection can serve as a model for the peer group and have some effect on a “special needs” student’s social status.

2. Pairing the “special needs” student up with a compassionate "buddy" within the classroom can help facilitate social acceptance.

3. When a “special needs” student has experienced failures at school, it becomes even more important for the student’s teacher to consciously find ways to draw positive attention to him or her. One way to do this is to assign the student special tasks and responsibilities in the presence of the other students in the classroom. Make sure these are responsibilities in which your student can experience success and develop better feelings of self-worth and acceptance within the classroom. Doing this also provides opportunities for the peer group to view your “special needs” student in a positive light and may help to stop the group process of peer rejection.

More resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book


==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Teaching the High-Functioning Autistic Mind

"I’d love to see some information about how to teach in a way that a high functioning autistic mind will absorb, particularly rote facts such as math measurements and such. I’d also love more information about teaching basic social skills, manners, and social graces."

Children with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) and Asperger's have excellent rote memories and often show intense interest in one or two intellectual areas, such as math, transportation, history, or the characters in a television series.

Sometimes the special interest is so absorbing that they ignore all other subjects. They learn every fact about the chosen topic and talk about it endlessly, whether or not their listeners are interested. The child may have little understanding of the meaning of these facts.

But, if you can tie rote information into the area of interest, you may find it easy to teach him or her - and the learning will be remembered. For example, if the child is interested in transportation, you might be able to involve him in measuring the length of railroad tracks or distances airplanes travel on various routes.

Often using a computer and rote learning computer games helps kids on the autism spectrum to retain factual information. Surprisingly, they often respond well to flash cards and other rote teaching methods also. Some are very good with visual memory and remember things they read or see on charts very well.

HFA students typically exhibit strengths in their visual processing skills, with significant weaknesses in their ability to process information via auditory means. Thus, use of visual methods of teaching, as well as visual support strategies, should always be incorporated to help the "special needs" student better understand his/her environment. 

 

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Visual learners learn well using formats such as:

• watching someone else perform a task or activity
• watching a video or DVD
• viewing themselves performing a task or activity via filming and subsequent play back on a video camera
• using visual recall as a learning strategy
• looking at whole words printed on a page
• looking at photos or images on a screen
• following visual cues and landmarks during a journey or task
• "imagining" what something looks like so they can remember it

Tailor your teaching strategies for visual learners to include some of the above approaches. This will ensure visual learners are given information in a way which suits their preferences, but also helps them build other learning style skills.
 

Etiquette and social graces are like a foreign language to kids with HFA. Social skills, such as saying “Hi” or “Good morning” or looking others in the eyes when conversing, are often taught by communication specialists or in social training groups. Imitating and practicing new skills in situations which are as realistic as possible is very effective.

Skills-training includes:

• learning nonverbal behaviors, such as using appropriate hand gestures, smiling, and verbal behaviors
• interpretation of nonverbal behaviors of others
• processing of visual information with auditory information
• social awareness

Another idea for teaching social skills is to set a weekly or monthly goal. The goal is to learn a specific skill and be able to apply it in a variety of situations.

Here is the procedure:

1. Decide which skill you would like the child to learn, for example responding to the question “What’s new?”
2. Teach the child the question/skill and several possible responses. Explain that there are many ways to respond. Model lots of options.
3. Involve family, friends, and school staff in setting up situations that require practicing the skill.
4. Develop a plan for how the questioner should prompt or respond, if the child doesn’t respond correctly.
5. Keep track of the child’s responses to see if he/she uses the skill consistently.
6. Use a lot of praise for appropriate behavior, especially when it is used without prompting.

The HFA child may form friendships with others who share his interests. Computer or math clubs, science fairs, Star Trek clubs, etc. are possible avenues to consider. Many of these children will develop coping and social interaction skills, and the ability to “fit in” as a result. For those that don’t, counseling and social “training” may help.

==> Specific strategies for teaching social skills can be found here...

==> "Social Stories" in Video Format for Kids on the Autism Spectrum

Additional resources for parents of children and teens with High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's:

==> How To Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums In Children With High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's

==> Parenting System that Significantly Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

==> Launching Adult Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management to Children and Teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Parenting System that Reduces Problematic Behavior in Children with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism 
 

What is the best way to teach social skills to my adolescent son who has Aspergers?

Question

What is the best way to teach social skills to my adolescent son who has Aspergers?

Answer

Asperger’s Syndrome (high-functioning autism) makes it hard for people to handle social situations. It is important to remember that a person can appear socially comfortable, using proper speech, good behavior, and impeccable manners. However, these things do not make a person socially able. Having these qualities will not help with the real issues of socialization. You have to find ways to teach basic, age appropriate social skills so your son will feel natural among his peers.

Social skills therapy is used to teach real interaction within a peer group. At school, your son should be able to participate in a social skills group. This type of therapy is guided by a therapist and includes kids in the same age and social ability ranges. The therapist will initiate conversation within the group, and then have the kids practice some basic pre-scripted situations among themselves. They are given the tools they need during therapy to use in real-life opportunities.

Some schools have peer group shadowing. Peer shadowing enlists the aid of a select group from the general education population, preparing them to assist children with Asperger’s in the daily communication and interaction skills they are missing. The shadows are trained to break down the normal conversations that they automatically understand and deliver the skills in a step-by-step fashion. For example, the peer is taught to ask about another child’s day in simple terms and then how to respond in a straight-forward manner to keep the conversation going. The child with Asperger’s is then able to mirror the behavior he sees coming from his peer. The peer learns valuable lessons in tolerance while the child with Asperger’s learns the basic social skills he so desperately needs. Not only will your son learn how to deal with social situations this way, he will also get a chance to interact with kids at school that may have never given him a chance.

Social stories are a very popular option for teaching social skills. More often thought about for younger kids, you can now find them written specifically for the needs of the adolescent or teen Asperger’s kids. Some are even in comic book form. Your son may find these interesting, easy to read and effective. Plus, he will be in control of the situations he learns about. As he ages, he probably will not want his parents to know everything about what he’s thinking on a social level.

Direct involvement is one of the best ways to reach kids this age. Give your son ownership by allowing his input when searching for answers. Adolescence is the time to encourage a bit of independence. Let him know that he can learn to handle and even enjoy relationships.

My Aspergers Child: Preventing Meltdowns

Helping Kids on the Autism Spectrum to “Fit-In” with Their Peer Group

"My 10 year old HF Autistic/Aspie doesn't have many friends, and when he's home he doesn't have any at all. He likes to be by himself playing video games with his online friends, which is very few as well. This has been the most difficult part of raising a child with autism. It is not made easier by teachers that damage fragile self-esteem and school boards and clubs that are exclusivist. I've found it to be heartbreaking. I often have to remind my son to talk about what other kids want to talk about and to play games others want to play. He often forgets this give-and-take aspect of friendships. He recently lost his best friend. The friend couldn't take the screaming, crying, yelling, controlling, bossiness and lack of reciprocity. My son takes things very literally and thinks with his heart. It is difficult for him to focus on more than one friend. He simply speaks on and on obsessively about his video games. I don't know what to do."

Young people with High-Functioning Autism (HFA) usually want to fit-in and have relationships with friends and classmates, but they just don’t know how to do so effectively. They lack an understanding of conventional social rules and often “appear” to lack empathy. In order to improve socialization, these “special needs” kids need to learn and focus on socialization from an “intellectual” standpoint. Things that come naturally for children without autism need concentration by those with it.

The ability to navigate everyday social interactions presents significant challenges for kids on the autism spectrum. Social situations that present difficulties can range from the fairly simple (e.g., engaging in a conversation with a peer) to the extremely complex (e.g., determining whether a peer who seems friendly is actually harmful in some way). 

 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Examples of important social skills to be taught to HFA children include (but are not limited to):

• maintaining appropriate eye contact
• decoding body language and facial expressions
• demonstrating empathy
• determining appropriate behavior for different social situations
• determining appropriate topics for conversation
• determining whether someone is trustworthy
• identifying one's feelings
• interacting with authority figures
• learning how to begin and end conversations
• maintaining appropriate personal space
• making appropriate choices
• recognizing the feelings of others
• resolving conflicts
• self-monitoring skills
• social-perception skills
• taking turns
• understanding gestures
• understanding community norms

Watch this video on teaching social skills: 

Here are some crucial strategies that parents and teachers can employ that will assist the child on the autism spectrum in finding – and maintaining – successful interpersonal relationships with others:

Tips for Parents:

1. Work with a speech pathologist that will evaluate and offer help with language. Even though your HFA youngster may speak perfectly, learning “social language” is often necessary. Learning eye contact from a speech pathologist, for example, is an important skill.

2. Work with a psychologist or counselor to teach and improve social skills. Therapies often teach children on the spectrum to recognize potential problem situations. In addition, these professionals teach and practice strategies with “special needs” children so they can handle most challenging situations.

3. Utilize role-play at home prior to any type of excursion. Role-play allows the child to image all of the various scenarios that could happen. Then, teach strategies for dealing with situations that are difficult.

==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

4. Reduce anxiety for your child whenever possible. Keep the rest of his life structured and organized, and ensure that the environment is a positive and rewarding one. This allows him to focus on social interactions without concern about other difficulties.

5. In school and other social situations, HFA children will perform best with a parent's aid. Find a friend for your child at school that he knows and can work with. Your youngster may eventually learn from the friend regarding “how to interact.”

6. Help your child get involved in sports and extracurricular activities. Through practice, kids and teens on the spectrum can learn to be socially positive.

7. Encourage socialization from a young age by bringing other kids into your home. With supervision, allow play dates to be teaching moments. For example, the parent can say something like, "See how Michael has his hand outstretched? That means he wants to say hello with a handshake. Shake his hand."

8. During the teenage years, dating is often difficult. Encourage adolescents to go out with friends and to date. It may take practice, but they will learn social skills with each outing.

9. Communicate with pictures. To teach HFA children to be social, incorporate picture stories into their daily lives. This is important for difficult subjects (e.g., sharing and communicating feelings). The stories should communicate how to handle the situation.

10. Use games or role-play to focus on the viewpoint of another person. This can include simply looking at pictures of children or adults interacting or working together or sharing some activity, and asking what is happening or what a given individual is doing, and what he may be thinking.

11. Use a video of a situation to illustrate behavior that is inappropriate in, for example, causing irritation to other children. Then discuss why. Also, make a video of the child himself and discuss where there are incidents of good social behaviors.

12. Provide direct advice about when and for how long your child may go on about a favorite topic, perhaps with the use of a signal by which to indicate when to stop (or not to start). If obsessive talking appears to mask some anxiety, seek to identify its source or teach general relaxation techniques. Also, provide positive feedback when your child is not talking incessantly about his given topic of interest.

13. Provide direct instruction of social rules or conventions (e.g., how to greet somebody, how to initiate a conversation, taking turns in a conversation, maintaining appropriate eye contact, when someone is joking, how to recognize how someone else is feeling, etc.).

14. Create a series of cartoon faces with clearly drawn expressions indicating anxiety, anger, sadness, surprise, etc. Then have your HFA child identify the various feelings and guess what caused them.

15. Model social skills for your child to observe, or view and discuss a video-tape of two people talking or playing, including reference to any non-verbal messages which can be discerned.

 ==> Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management

Tips for Teachers:

1. The establishment of a "buddy" system or a system where the HFA student is encouraged to observe how other students behave in particular situations is helpful.

2. Provide specific and structured activities for the “special needs” student that are to be shared with one or two selected classmates. These can range from some jobs to be completed in the school during break or lunch time, games involving turn-taking, or tasks or mini-projects to be completed on the computer.

3. Provide direct teaching of what to do (or what not to do) in certain challenging situations (e.g., when the teacher is irritated either with the HFA student – or with the entire group).

4. Provide a visual timetable plus bulletins of any innovations so there is no uncertainty about the day's routine.

5. Make use of the "Circles of Friends" approach designed to identify (social) difficulties, and to set targets and strategies by which other students in the class can be helpful and supportive, with the long term aim of increasing social integration and reducing anxiety.

6. In the classroom setting, instructions should be very precise with no opportunity to misunderstand what is expected. It may be necessary to follow-up group instructions with individual instructions rather than assuming that the HFA student has understood what is needed or can learn "incidentally" from watching what other students do.

7. In a group setting, adopt the “circle-time” strategy of limiting verbal contributions to whoever is in possession of some object (while ensuring that the object circulates fairly among the whole group).

8. Identify particular skills in the HFA student and invite him to offer some help to another student who is less advanced (e.g., with the use of the computer).

9. Help your HFA student to recognize his symptoms of distress with a "script" by which to try relaxation strategies, or have in place a system where it is acceptable for the student briefly to remove himself from the class as necessary.

10. Have the autistic student’s peers model social skills. A “buddy” can also be encouraged to be the partner of the autistic student in games, showing how to play and offering or seeking help if he is teased.

11. Have a regular time slot for support from an adult in terms of feedback concerning (social) behavior, discussing what is going well and less well, and why – and enabling the “special needs” student to express concerns or versions of events.

12. Encourage participation in school clubs or organized/structured activities during the lunchtime.

13. Allow some practice of talking at a reasonable volume and pace with an agreed signal to be given if it is too loud or fast, or tape-record the student’s speech so that he can evaluate the volume and pace himself.

14. Show the HFA or AS student – and his classmates – a hand signal that the classmates can use when they are tired of listening to him talk about his topic of interest. Also, agree to a later time and place for responding to the autistic student’s repeated questioning about a particular topic of interest.

15. A clarity and explicitness of rules in the classroom to minimize uncertainty and to provide the basis for tangible rewards should be implemented.

Having friends provides support and promotes mental health and well-being. Friendships are also very important for social and emotional development. Through friendships, kids learn how to relate to others. They develop social skills as they teach each other how to be good friends. Young people on the autism spectrum who have friends are more likely to be self-confident and perform better academically. When these “special needs” kids have difficulty making friends or keeping them, it often leads to feeling lonely and unhappy with themselves. Feeling rejected by others often leads to significant distress, too.

Parents and teachers have important roles to play in helping their HFA youngster develop friendship skills. They set examples for how the youngster can manage relationships. They can also act as coaches, teaching the child helpful social skills and talking through friendship issues to help with problem solving.

 

Resources for parents of children and teens on the autism spectrum:
 

==> How to Prevent Meltdowns and Tantrums in Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting System that Reduces Defiant Behavior in Teens with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Launching Adult Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guide for Parents Who Want to Promote Self-Reliance

==> Teaching Social-Skills and Emotion-Management to Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism: Parents' Comprehensive Handbook

==> Unraveling the Mystery Behind High-Functioning Autism: Audio Book

==> Crucial Research-Based Parenting Strategies for Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism

==> Videos for Parents of Children and Teens with ASD

 

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Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

 ==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives

==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development

==> Pressed for time? Watch these "less-than-one-minute" videos for on the go.

 COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… A puppy or kitty it a frog whatever interests him. Don't try to change him.
•    Anonymous said… Are there social skills groups on your area?
•    Anonymous said… As a parent, this is the hardest part for me. It doesn't seem to bother my 15 year old, who perceives himself as having friends. I worry about what's going to happen when he's out of HS and has less social opportunities.
•    Anonymous said… Following...we're going through the same thing
•    Anonymous said… Get in touch with the national autistic society they have all the details of local support groups.
•    Anonymous said… He sounds just like my son.He is obsessed over his video games.
•    Anonymous said… I can so relate!
•    Anonymous said… I know it's hard to deal with my daughter has the same issues and yes the school is making things very hard and I am ready to get a lawyer and say the he'll with it.
•    Anonymous said… I think we all have to face reality that our asd kids reality will not ever be ours and accept that. aspies have organized groups now online etc and that will grow so that will have friendships of like minded people. For lower functioning kods....i just dont know. It will take the parents to develop a group or vision of what is needed and provide it.
•    Anonymous said… I understand ur frustration.
•    Anonymous said… I'm less worried about with my kids as I was the same. If they socialise or even go to clubs, great, but otherwise they need the head space to recover from the very social aspects of school. A few good friends is better than actives of acquaintances anyway.
•    Anonymous said… It is very difficult my 13 year old son says his xbox and online friends are his social life and when he has to go out of the house we are ruining is social life he will say some days he can be compliant some days he can be cross with us but mostly moans about when we going home etc ... the computer games are like thier way of escape and relaxing like us wanting to have that glass of wine or go 4 that walk whatever people do to relax .a balance is not always possible and every autistic person is different in how much they can cope with outside the computer world my son likes educational historical places so days out at places of interest can gage him for a while but the xbox will always be mentioned
•    Anonymous said… Just let him be himself. He's safe playing his games but maybe be his best friend and take him out just you and him for walks in nature. Maybe get him a pet to care for. Pets help the aspire child connect to feelings and it brings out something golden in these kids.
•    Anonymous said… Limiting the screen time, balancing it with a more neutral family occasion, then arranging a play date (at least try) would work a bit.
•    Anonymous said… My 7 year old wants a friend so bad. He has a sister that is 20 months older that really is his only and best friend. He is so social, but typically dominates conversation with what he is interested in.
•    Anonymous said… My boy is the same, I chose home schooling and I've never looked back, he has improved so much in the last two years and is now allowed to be himself.
•    Anonymous said… My son is 19 today. He's had one friend all his life. One. And he didn't even go to the same school. Somehow, when he hit 17, he started making more friends but I never worried about it. One was all he needed!
•    Anonymous said… So for all of those parents worried about their kids obsession it's video games, it is a serious problem for these teens. They get addicted to the virtual worlds they play in. They are much more sensitive and susceptible and we had to take our son completely off of it and it was very hard at first with his behavior getting aggressive but it is worth it.  😉
•    Anonymous said… So hard to let them do the computer and online games...yet you understand it is a part of them.
•    Anonymous said… That's my boy too!
•    Anonymous said… The behavior is so hard to deal with...i need a support group for parents. Can anyone direct me on how to find one?
•    Anonymous said… We have the same problem but the lifeline for us has been at the Comic book store where they run a Pokemon club, they're all the same and he fits right in! Try it  😊
•    Anonymous said… You Re not alone ! All my son wants to do.

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